A great part of having a sizable family is the opportunity to involve them in the parts of your life that require a little bit of work. From babysitting, to getting a ride, it’s not at all weird to help out where you can. But everyone has their limits, particularly if someone is very actively being hostile.

A woman turned to the internet for advice after learning that her sister-in-law’s fiancé actually hated her. The catch? She had already agreed to be their engagement photographer. We reached out to the woman in the story via private message and will update the article when she gets back to us.

Helping out family is a time honored tradition

Image credits: Seljan Salimova / Pexels (not the actual photo)

But one woman discovered that her SIL’s fiancé hated her so she wanted to back out of being their engagement photographer

Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Thgusstavo Santana / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Big-Narwhal-3280

Image credits: fauxels / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Doing favors for family is a time-honored tradition

Depending on the size and inclination of your extended family, you might simply only ever see them at holidays, or you basically have a part time job doing some minor chores. Living close to family is a double edged sword, as this can mean getting some sort of help quickly, but also uninvited and hard-to-reject guests at the strangest times. Rejecting these demands can come with the risk of being ostracized, mocked or even made fun of.

This issue is exacerbated if you have a particularly marketable skill. Doctors and lawyers are often pushed into doing basically pro bono work for their friends and family, but this “fun” feature also extends to cooks, photographers and even real estate agents. Suddenly, you will be expected to just help up, and only if you are very lucky will someone give you a shred of money.

Unfortunately, while it would seem like this should at least garner some basics of respect, after all, you are doing these folks a service, the reality is that once people think they are entitled to something, the idea of at least thanking you for your service goes out the window. This can even lead to drama and conflict when they realize that they can’t just get away with it. However, while every family is different, bad mouthing someone after making a bunch of requests seems particularly terrible.

Image credits: Liza Summer / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Cutting off contact is an acceptable solution

In this regard, the woman who shared the story is in no way to blame. Not only is it bizarre to expect her to do some sort of favor for someone who openly mocks her behind her back, the “favor” in question is not exactly something that is make or break for the wedding. Engagement photos are nice, but if the couple need them to proceed, they already have their priorities in the wrong direction. The woman not being the photographer in no way ruins anything, it’s always possible to find another photographer.

Indeed, fully cutting contact with this particular man would be an acceptable position. While she does state that her relationship with her SIL is important, it would appear that maintaining contact with her would be like forcing her to pick between herself and her fiancé. Staying out of it seems like the best option. There are many worse situations one can end up in, as far as family drama goes, but that doesn’t mean that she should have to interact with this person any more than absolutely necessary.

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Some might want to verify more of the story, indeed, it was a common question for the woman. She does state in the comments that there were others who could corroborate her story. Not only is she entirely justified if she never sees this person again, it’s worth pointing out that someone who so actively badmouths someone behind their back will do it to anyone who isn’t currently in the room.

She also answered some reader questions

Most folks sided with her

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