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Bride’s “Wedding Tax” Turns Big Day Into A Trainwreck Of Screaming, Fighting, And Refund Demands
Interview With Author
Weddings can be a pricey affair. While the costs vary based on a bunch of factors, research puts the average cost of an American wedding at $33,000 in 2024. However, some lavish ceremonies can set you back thousands more. Back in the day, it was a tradition for the bride’s family to cover the costs. Recently, more and more couples are choosing to foot the bill themselves. Or at least contribute to some of the expenses.
It’s unusual for a couple to expect guests to pay for their wedding, but that’s exactly what one bride did. Her sibling shared that they were asked to pay a “wedding tax” along with all the other guests. When they raised the issue, a massive fight ensued. Eventually, the sibling announced that they would no longer be attending. Now, they’re wondering if they took it a bit too far. Bored Panda reached out to the sibling to find out more.
RELATED:
One bride turned her back on etiquette when she decided to impose a “wedding tax” that would see her guests funding her big day
Image credits: bristekjegor (not the actual image)
When her sibling questioned her decision, the bride simply told them to “chip in or don’t bother coming”
Image credits: namii9 (not the actual image)
Image credits: EyeEm (not the actual image)
Image credits: HeavyWolverine8706
The sibling did not end up attending the wedding, but she received several phone calls to say it had descended into chaos
If you, like us, were wondering how much the “wedding tax” was, the sibling said that friends were expected to “donate” $50-$100 each, while the family was asked to give anywhere between $250 and $1000.
They also revealed that they chose not to go, but were inundated with phone calls and texts from family and friends on the day. The wedding had turned into a circus, and the entire ordeal had become “a rollercoaster ride of emotions, sibling rivalry, and unexpected twists.”
“After the wedding, I reached out to one of my sisters – the only one who didn’t agree with this but still went,” the sibling told Bored Panda. “She said it was a total ‘sh*t show’ and she was sorry she went. My sister probably could’ve gotten arrested. She was screaming at all the guests, and I’ve heard after the wedding, guests are even demanding their money back.”
The sibling told Bored Panda they were surprised some people thought they should go to the wedding and pay the tax. “I will not be paying my sister any money in the near future,” they told us. “I even sent her a gift of 200 dollars when I didn’t go to the wedding.”
“My sister spent almost $7,000 of other people’s money, and she told them that they ruined her wedding,” added the sibling. “Still, all the family thinks we should all stick together and support my sister. My mother is mad at me for not going and harassing me.”
It turns out, the wedding wasn’t the only bill the bride expected friends and family to foot. The couple had also asked people to contribute to a “money fund for their house” two years before the wedding. “I contributed to the house fund for the house she never bought,” said the sibling during our chat. “I owe her nothing.”
The sibling also told Bored Panda that the marriage might already be on the rocks. “Apparently, my sister called her new mother-in-law ‘a stupid jerk,’ and her fiance might divorce her.”
Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)
Historically, the bride’s family would foot the bill for a wedding because of an old tradition known as the “dowry”
The dowry custom dates back to the ancient Roman Empire, and it was a gesture from the bride’s family to offset her future living costs. Britannica defines a dowry as “the money, goods, or estate that a woman brings to her husband or his family in marriage.” The site further explains that a dowry is a “conditional” gift, meant to protect the bride against any possible future ill-treatment by her husband and his family. In the case of divorce or the death of the husband, the dowry would be returned to the wife and her family.
Over the years, the tradition evolved, with the bride’s family footing the wedding bill instead of handing over cash, goods, or property. Under this agreement, the groom’s family would sometimes be responsible for covering the bar tab, the honeymoon, and a few other expenses.
But as is the case with many things in life, that tradition has further evolved. “As couples modernize wedding planning and are getting married later after establishing careers, more of them are paying all—or a substantial portion—of the costs of their own weddings,” explained certified financial planner, Cynthia Meyer. “Who pays for what is more flexible.”
Image credits: dapor2560 (not the actual image)
Experts advise couples to start saving early, and never to assume that someone else will foot the wedding bill
“Budget conversations should begin at the same time that guest list and venue discussions begin. If you are setting a budget, then set the budget,” advises wedding planner Alicia Fritz. “Don’t try and skimp on things that you know you are going to spend more on later.”
“My suggestion for engaged couples is to communicate early and discuss the details,” said financial coach Christian Stewart. “Don’t assume that anyone will pay for anything, even if they promised you something.”
Pink Book Weddings adds that while you’ll likely have to dig deep, there is an upside to covering all of your own costs. “One great thing about this as an option is that you will be able to call all of the shots. You won’t feel pressured into anything if it is your own money that you are spending,” reads their site.
Image credits: user25451090 (not the actual image)
“I see this marriage ending in six months”: many netizens felt the bride was being totally unreasonable
Some felt the sibling should have paid the “wedding tax” as a gift
The sibling posted an update after the wedding, warning people to “buckle up” for the events that followed
Image credits: Jomkwan (not the actual image)
Image credits: X L (not the actual image)
Image credits: HeavyWolverine8706
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What do you think ?
sweet emotion 3 weeks ago
I think Emily deserved every moment of frustration, humiliation and embarrassment she got. Hopefully by her third or fourth wedding she will have learned her lesson.
María Hermida 3 weeks ago (edited)
I don't think so. Some people are too stupid to learn. Why reflect on your actions and attitudes when you have somebody else to blame, and a whole bunch of imbecile family members to support your stupid decisions? No, she'll never learn.
Load More Replies...
Hodge Elmwood 3 weeks ago
HAHAHA hell no! If you can't afford the "wedding of your dreams," you don't do it. It's that simple. Save up for it, take out a loan (not the best idea either), or plan something simpler. NO ONE is OWED the world's most over-done extravaganza. Millions of people get married every day, you're not special.
Beth Wheeler 3 weeks ago
You don't charge guests at your wedding they are your GUESTS and that is in extremely poor taste Emily made a stupid decision and she paid for it in the end. I don't understand how anybody can blame the sister since she had the good sense to not go.
María Hermida 3 weeks ago (edited)
I guess Emily is the gold girl in the family, and they think she deserves being pampered and looked after. They created an entitled monster and now they have to deal with her and her entitlement. I don't feel sorry for any of them. I'm only sorry for OP. Her family are a bunch of idiots.
Load More Replies...
Carl Roberts 3 weeks ago
Check out her other Reddit posts. This story is obviously fake. In one post, her sister is older than her, in another, her sister is suddenly younger.
Tabitha 3 weeks ago
The marriage is more important than the wedding. I was never one of those girls who drooled over Brides magazine. In fact, I always liked the idea of eloping. Anyway, my husband and I got married at the courthouse, with a couple friends as witnesses, who then treated us to a wedding dinner at a really nice restaurant. One of them gave us the keys to her beach house for our honeymoon (we were just going to go home, lock the door and take the phone off the hook (landlines were still the norm then). Very basic. Very inexpensive. Because we knew the marriage was the important part, not some unnecessarily big expensive wedding. Why start out in debt? We’ve now been happily married almost 24 years, and have never regretted our simple wedding—-we WOULD have regretted spending money we really didn’t have on a ridiculously fancy and overly expensive wedding, which would’ve tainted our marriage even before it started.
Carl Roberts 3 weeks ago
Yep. I'm pretty sure all of her stories are completely made up. Two weeks ago she posted a story about how she no longer speaks to her mother, and how her sister is "the golden child", but made no mention of the wedding. Then, in the wedding post, she makes no mention of the previous story about her mother and her sister. Also, In the wedding story, her sister is younger, but in the mom story, her sister is older.
Load More Replies...
LizzieBoredom 3 weeks ago
In the USA, we don't have 'Taxation without Representation (allegedly)', so please send me the guest list and food selections for editing.
LizzieBoredom 3 weeks ago (edited)
When they get divorced, I want a 'wedding rebate' because they invalidated the warranty.
Load More Replies... María Hermida 3 weeks ago
Every adult person is free to decide what they want to do with their lives, but they are also responsible for the consequences of those choices. Only buy what you can afford. I can't understand why people see it clearly sometimes, but fail to see the idiocy of organising a princess' wedding when you are a mere working-class plebeian. I mean, if a working-class person tried to buy a Porsche, everybody would see clearly it's a very bad idea. Why is it different with weddings? Why do people still consider it is normal to spend half their year's salary on a dress they are only going to wear once? Yeah, "it's my day", and all that rubbish, but if you can't afford it, it's nobody's problem but yours.
MegDragon 3 weeks ago
I hear people say things like “everyone deserves the wedding of their dreams/to feel special for a day/to make incredible memories” and the like. That’s simply not how the world works. All sorts of people “deserve” all sorts of things, and will never get them. Some people don’t have a home, for instance. Is the bride going to chip in some of her wedding budget for that much more deserving cause? She is not. But few people like to be reminded of harsh realities when they are enjoying their moment of self-pity or -aggrandizement, depending how things go.
Load More Replies...
Schmebulock 3 weeks ago
Tell your family your new nickname is Karma and tell your sister to eat a bag of d***s.
Apatheist Account2 3 weeks ago
It used to be the bride's parents who paid for the wedding. Expecting guests to pay is just insane.
Shark bait hoo haha 1 week ago
Emily made her bed and now she gets to lay in it. I would go LC with her and mom and the aunt as well. It's crazy how they are blaming it on OP when she wasn't even attending.
Steve Robert 2 weeks ago
You think the wedding tax was obscene, wait until you get the divorce tax!
Dave Morris 3 weeks ago
"Her fiance hates the idea..." what I'd do with that money instead is lay a bet that the marriage won't last.
JD 3 weeks ago
So basically, "I want a ridiculously expensive wedding, but I don't want to save up money for it, or plan or budget for it. I don't want a loan or to deal with a bank, I just want my family and friends to fart out a couple thousand dollars each for my special day. Oh, you don't have the money to just do that? Nobody I know does? But it's my dream for you to give me money and then I take that money and host a fancy party that's also all about me! What? Why are you walking away?
KirklandMelissa Anderson 3 weeks ago
Have the wedding you can afford without being a leech on others.
KirklandMelissa Anderson 3 weeks ago
The bride is greedy. I’m glad the husband decided to dump her spoiled, greedy butt.
SheamusFanFrom1987 3 weeks ago
Good Powers-That-Be, OP, just please drop them faster than gravity can. You don't have a family, just a sh*tshow circus bunch that see your monetary value more than your human one. Burn bridges to the very foundations if needed, but the less time you are around these soul and money-sucking parasites, the better. Sheeesh!!!
Alexander Luna 3 weeks ago
Why all these demanding money or you're not coming stories? Whatever happened to the couple or parents pay within their budget and you buy a present. That's it. All the demands from the couple for payments for this and that, hen and stag nights, dresses, hair do's, flying away for some reason as part of the lead up to the wedding and it costing an arm and a leg, honeymoons, the list is endless. What is the mind-set of people who make demands on their friends to pay endlessly. They soon wouldn't be a friend of mine.
Mark Childers 3 weeks ago
Weddings are so full of drama. My sister's first wedding was a lot like this one. Our mother decided to make all of the food and decorate the reception area and got mad that I didn't volunteer to help when I flew in for the event. Our father (passed now) had to show everyone his true self. Drama. Nothing but drama. I don't know how anyone survives the stress of it all. At least her second wedding was only family in a small outdoor area and the reception in a nice restaurant.
DrBronxx 3 weeks ago
We had a wedding in the country where I live, which is not my home country. So, we only invited my immediate family (parents and siblings + their families). Unfortunately, we couldn't afford the airfares, but we made sure to pay for pretty much everything else. It was a year and a half of very frugal living on our part to save, plus a generous donation from my now-in-laws, which is the custom in her country. When you get married, your wedding day is *your day*. To us that meant taking care of our guests as much as we possibly could. In the end, it was a great time.
Kristen Woehlke 3 weeks ago
You "OWE" her??? As if, babe! You'll get more of what you got after the "I do's"... Nada... Zip... Zilch... Nothing...except some getting yelled at like you deserved!
Scott Rackley 3 weeks ago
Can't afford the wedding? Don't have the wedding. I don't go to them anyways.
Roni Stone 3 weeks ago
When I read all the wedding catastrophe posts, I am so glad I got married in the middle of my living room, wearing a dark green peasant dress my mom made, with a home baked two-layer wedding cake and about 7 people in attendance. God bless the leftover hippy minimalism of the 70s.
Gavin Johnson 3 weeks ago
Hey there Bored Pandas, you all seem, on the whole, to be a decent, upstanding and generous bunch. So in the spirit of this piece I’m going to call upon your generosity, I’m buying an Aston Martin (and a country house if your generosity is as good as I’ve heard), so all you have to do is send me your BPTax for reading this comment. It’s unconventional but it seems that entitlement is the new saving up. So, I’ll let you stay at the house for one weekend every two years and the car is yours to borrow, I won’t be telling you WHERE the house is but that’s all part of the fun. So, chip in and be part of something so modern that no one’s done it before. Open your hearts and your wallets eh?
Quinn 3 weeks ago (edited)
I couldn't get past the first few short but telling paragraphs of this story. I immediately lost interest when I read the line, "...the bride simply told them to 'chip in or don’t bother coming.'" Me, I would've been one of those who didn't bother coming. I couldn't even be bothered to read this whole story.
Paul Rabit 3 weeks ago
Don't throw a wedding you can't afford yourself. Though I probably would have gone to keep peace and then just not get a gift. And then I'd have regretted it when the sh!t hit the fan.
wobbly jelly 3 weeks ago
I would have asked Emily to chip in for "my" special outfit / hair / makeup / bag etc as it would all add to making her special day even more special
ThisIsMe 1 week ago
Showing my age here, but what happened to the days of just having the wedding you could afford to have?!? Granted, my husband and I went into debt a small amount that we knew we could pay back, and didn't ask anyone for a dime (my mom contributed to things that were important to her, and his parents bounced a couple of checks to us that they eventually made good on). When my sister got married, we had to compromised a lot on her vision, and she was okay with that. I gifted her some of the expenses, but mostly I helped her make arrangements ourselves and rented items versus booking a fancy venue. Weddings have become too wildly out of control!
sweet emotion 3 weeks ago
I think Emily deserved every moment of frustration, humiliation and embarrassment she got. Hopefully by her third or fourth wedding she will have learned her lesson.
María Hermida 3 weeks ago (edited)
I don't think so. Some people are too stupid to learn. Why reflect on your actions and attitudes when you have somebody else to blame, and a whole bunch of imbecile family members to support your stupid decisions? No, she'll never learn.
Load More Replies... Hodge Elmwood 3 weeks ago
HAHAHA hell no! If you can't afford the "wedding of your dreams," you don't do it. It's that simple. Save up for it, take out a loan (not the best idea either), or plan something simpler. NO ONE is OWED the world's most over-done extravaganza. Millions of people get married every day, you're not special.
Beth Wheeler 3 weeks ago
You don't charge guests at your wedding they are your GUESTS and that is in extremely poor taste Emily made a stupid decision and she paid for it in the end. I don't understand how anybody can blame the sister since she had the good sense to not go.
María Hermida 3 weeks ago (edited)
I guess Emily is the gold girl in the family, and they think she deserves being pampered and looked after. They created an entitled monster and now they have to deal with her and her entitlement. I don't feel sorry for any of them. I'm only sorry for OP. Her family are a bunch of idiots.
Load More Replies... Carl Roberts 3 weeks ago
Check out her other Reddit posts. This story is obviously fake. In one post, her sister is older than her, in another, her sister is suddenly younger.
Tabitha 3 weeks ago
The marriage is more important than the wedding. I was never one of those girls who drooled over Brides magazine. In fact, I always liked the idea of eloping. Anyway, my husband and I got married at the courthouse, with a couple friends as witnesses, who then treated us to a wedding dinner at a really nice restaurant. One of them gave us the keys to her beach house for our honeymoon (we were just going to go home, lock the door and take the phone off the hook (landlines were still the norm then). Very basic. Very inexpensive. Because we knew the marriage was the important part, not some unnecessarily big expensive wedding. Why start out in debt? We’ve now been happily married almost 24 years, and have never regretted our simple wedding—-we WOULD have regretted spending money we really didn’t have on a ridiculously fancy and overly expensive wedding, which would’ve tainted our marriage even before it started.
Carl Roberts 3 weeks ago
Yep. I'm pretty sure all of her stories are completely made up. Two weeks ago she posted a story about how she no longer speaks to her mother, and how her sister is "the golden child", but made no mention of the wedding. Then, in the wedding post, she makes no mention of the previous story about her mother and her sister. Also, In the wedding story, her sister is younger, but in the mom story, her sister is older.
Load More Replies... LizzieBoredom 3 weeks ago
In the USA, we don't have 'Taxation without Representation (allegedly)', so please send me the guest list and food selections for editing.
LizzieBoredom 3 weeks ago (edited)
When they get divorced, I want a 'wedding rebate' because they invalidated the warranty.
Load More Replies... María Hermida 3 weeks ago
Every adult person is free to decide what they want to do with their lives, but they are also responsible for the consequences of those choices. Only buy what you can afford. I can't understand why people see it clearly sometimes, but fail to see the idiocy of organising a princess' wedding when you are a mere working-class plebeian. I mean, if a working-class person tried to buy a Porsche, everybody would see clearly it's a very bad idea. Why is it different with weddings? Why do people still consider it is normal to spend half their year's salary on a dress they are only going to wear once? Yeah, "it's my day", and all that rubbish, but if you can't afford it, it's nobody's problem but yours.
MegDragon 3 weeks ago
I hear people say things like “everyone deserves the wedding of their dreams/to feel special for a day/to make incredible memories” and the like. That’s simply not how the world works. All sorts of people “deserve” all sorts of things, and will never get them. Some people don’t have a home, for instance. Is the bride going to chip in some of her wedding budget for that much more deserving cause? She is not. But few people like to be reminded of harsh realities when they are enjoying their moment of self-pity or -aggrandizement, depending how things go.
Load More Replies... Schmebulock 3 weeks ago
Tell your family your new nickname is Karma and tell your sister to eat a bag of d***s.
Apatheist Account2 3 weeks ago
It used to be the bride's parents who paid for the wedding. Expecting guests to pay is just insane.
Shark bait hoo haha 1 week ago
Emily made her bed and now she gets to lay in it. I would go LC with her and mom and the aunt as well. It's crazy how they are blaming it on OP when she wasn't even attending.
Steve Robert 2 weeks ago
You think the wedding tax was obscene, wait until you get the divorce tax!
Dave Morris 3 weeks ago
"Her fiance hates the idea..." what I'd do with that money instead is lay a bet that the marriage won't last.
JD 3 weeks ago
So basically, "I want a ridiculously expensive wedding, but I don't want to save up money for it, or plan or budget for it. I don't want a loan or to deal with a bank, I just want my family and friends to fart out a couple thousand dollars each for my special day. Oh, you don't have the money to just do that? Nobody I know does? But it's my dream for you to give me money and then I take that money and host a fancy party that's also all about me! What? Why are you walking away?
KirklandMelissa Anderson 3 weeks ago
Have the wedding you can afford without being a leech on others.
KirklandMelissa Anderson 3 weeks ago
The bride is greedy. I’m glad the husband decided to dump her spoiled, greedy butt.
SheamusFanFrom1987 3 weeks ago
Good Powers-That-Be, OP, just please drop them faster than gravity can. You don't have a family, just a sh*tshow circus bunch that see your monetary value more than your human one. Burn bridges to the very foundations if needed, but the less time you are around these soul and money-sucking parasites, the better. Sheeesh!!!
Alexander Luna 3 weeks ago
Why all these demanding money or you're not coming stories? Whatever happened to the couple or parents pay within their budget and you buy a present. That's it. All the demands from the couple for payments for this and that, hen and stag nights, dresses, hair do's, flying away for some reason as part of the lead up to the wedding and it costing an arm and a leg, honeymoons, the list is endless. What is the mind-set of people who make demands on their friends to pay endlessly. They soon wouldn't be a friend of mine.
Mark Childers 3 weeks ago
Weddings are so full of drama. My sister's first wedding was a lot like this one. Our mother decided to make all of the food and decorate the reception area and got mad that I didn't volunteer to help when I flew in for the event. Our father (passed now) had to show everyone his true self. Drama. Nothing but drama. I don't know how anyone survives the stress of it all. At least her second wedding was only family in a small outdoor area and the reception in a nice restaurant.
DrBronxx 3 weeks ago
We had a wedding in the country where I live, which is not my home country. So, we only invited my immediate family (parents and siblings + their families). Unfortunately, we couldn't afford the airfares, but we made sure to pay for pretty much everything else. It was a year and a half of very frugal living on our part to save, plus a generous donation from my now-in-laws, which is the custom in her country. When you get married, your wedding day is *your day*. To us that meant taking care of our guests as much as we possibly could. In the end, it was a great time.
Kristen Woehlke 3 weeks ago
You "OWE" her??? As if, babe! You'll get more of what you got after the "I do's"... Nada... Zip... Zilch... Nothing...except some getting yelled at like you deserved!
Scott Rackley 3 weeks ago
Can't afford the wedding? Don't have the wedding. I don't go to them anyways.
Roni Stone 3 weeks ago
When I read all the wedding catastrophe posts, I am so glad I got married in the middle of my living room, wearing a dark green peasant dress my mom made, with a home baked two-layer wedding cake and about 7 people in attendance. God bless the leftover hippy minimalism of the 70s.
Gavin Johnson 3 weeks ago
Hey there Bored Pandas, you all seem, on the whole, to be a decent, upstanding and generous bunch. So in the spirit of this piece I’m going to call upon your generosity, I’m buying an Aston Martin (and a country house if your generosity is as good as I’ve heard), so all you have to do is send me your BPTax for reading this comment. It’s unconventional but it seems that entitlement is the new saving up. So, I’ll let you stay at the house for one weekend every two years and the car is yours to borrow, I won’t be telling you WHERE the house is but that’s all part of the fun. So, chip in and be part of something so modern that no one’s done it before. Open your hearts and your wallets eh?
Quinn 3 weeks ago (edited)
I couldn't get past the first few short but telling paragraphs of this story. I immediately lost interest when I read the line, "...the bride simply told them to 'chip in or don’t bother coming.'" Me, I would've been one of those who didn't bother coming. I couldn't even be bothered to read this whole story.
Paul Rabit 3 weeks ago
Don't throw a wedding you can't afford yourself. Though I probably would have gone to keep peace and then just not get a gift. And then I'd have regretted it when the sh!t hit the fan.
wobbly jelly 3 weeks ago
I would have asked Emily to chip in for "my" special outfit / hair / makeup / bag etc as it would all add to making her special day even more special
ThisIsMe 1 week ago
Showing my age here, but what happened to the days of just having the wedding you could afford to have?!? Granted, my husband and I went into debt a small amount that we knew we could pay back, and didn't ask anyone for a dime (my mom contributed to things that were important to her, and his parents bounced a couple of checks to us that they eventually made good on). When my sister got married, we had to compromised a lot on her vision, and she was okay with that. I gifted her some of the expenses, but mostly I helped her make arrangements ourselves and rented items versus booking a fancy venue. Weddings have become too wildly out of control!
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