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“[Am I The Jerk] For Telling My Sister That No One Cares About Her Child?”

“[Am I The Jerk] For Telling My Sister That No One Cares About Her Child?”

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History knows many situations when young children have become real stars – both local and world-class – and it’s not always their own parents who really contributed to their careers. The example of Macaulay Culkin is the brightest confirmation of this (especially since very soon we will be re-watching Home Alone again, I believe…).

But being proud of your child who has achieved popularity is one thing, and comparing them to other kids or belittling the appearance of “less stellar” ones, you must agree, is quite another. And so, the sister of the author of today’s story, the user u/NinaChild, recently paid for such behavior.

More info: Reddit

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    The author of the post has a sister whose 10YO daughter is a pretty successful child model – and the mom is really obsessed with it

    Image credits: freepic.diller / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    The mom constantly brags about her daughter’s achievements and compares her to other kids, belittling them heavily

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    Image credits: NinaChild

    Image credits: rawpixel.com / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    For example, when 5 months ago, the author shared his newborn daughter’s photo in the family group chat, the sister commented that the baby is nice, but her daughter is way more beautiful

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    Image credits: NinaChild

    Image credits: prostooleh / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    And at the recent family gathering, the sister once more started comparing the cousins, saying that her niece is “just an ugly baby”

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    Image credits: NinaChild

    The dad lost it and yelled at the sister in her daughter’s presence – and then they stormed out in anger

    So, the Original Poster (OP) says that he and his wife have a 5-month-old daughter, and they, of course, dote on her. And the author also has a sister, “Nina”, whose daughter “Sofia” has been acting in commercials since early childhood, and by the age of 10 she has become a fairly successful child model. It’s okay when parents are proud of their kids’ success, but Nina’s passion has become something of an obsession.

    By and large, the mother cannot talk about anything except Sofia and her successes – for example, that she can already pay the bills with her daughter’s fees. It’s not at all surprising that at a recent family gathering at the OP’s house, the woman again started the same conversation, completely ignoring the author and his wife, who were sitting at the table next to her.

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    Let’s make a small digression – not long before this, Nina once wrote in the family’s group chat that her tiny niece is, of course, a cute baby, but she is far from beautiful Sofia at the same age. Our hero, being a non-confrontational person, then kept silent – although he and his wife were, of course, shocked and offended.

    Returning to this dinner, the first bell rang for the OP when the sis forbade her daughter to eat chocolate – she said it could cause acne on her face. And… she cited the author’s wife as an example. And that wasn’t all. Nina again began to compare her daughter to her baby niece and at one point declared that “her downside is that she’s ‘just an ugly baby.'”

    The author saw red. He ended up yelling at his sister, claiming that he couldn’t care less about Sofia, and that he just wanted to have his meal in peace. In the heat of the fight, Nina cursed out both the brother and his wife and stormed out with her daughter. And now our hero is wondering if he did the wrong thing by snapping at his sis in the presence of his niece.

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    Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    Well, experts believe that parents can only harm their children with such behavior. “Attempts at self-realization through one’s own children rarely lead to anything good, and parents only traumatize them by doing so,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment on this case.

    “No, you should praise children for their successes – but without being obsessed with this, and without constantly comparing them to others. Especially without going into outright insults – first the sister-in-law, and then the baby niece. In other words, it was simply rude and entitled behavior – and this woman actually got what she deserved.”

    “The only thing her brother is wrong about is that he really allowed himself to lose it in the presence of a girl who, in the end, is not to blame for any of her mom’s mental complexes. It would be reasonable, of course, to talk separately tete-a-tete. And even better – to stop such attacks back when the sister wrote insults in the group chat,” Irina summarizes.

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    As for the people in the comments, they seriously criticized the author for this outburst of emotion in front of a child, not without questioning his sister’s entitlement, of course. “It’s poor judgment on your part to have let this go on so far that you snapped to the point of insulting a child in front of her,” someone wrote. “It’s not her fault her mother is like this,” another one added.

    By and large, according to the responders, this outburst is unlikely to affect the behavior of the author’s sister – but their relationship with their niece will most likely suffer. “I understand you snapped after a massive amount of passive-aggressive comments, but doing it in front of Sofia was terrible,” another commenter supposed.

    “I doubt you’ll really change your sister’s mind about anything, but I’m sure your niece will remember this.” And how would you, our dear readers, act in a similar situation? Please feel free to share your opinions in the comments below this post.

    People in the comments claimed that the author’s sis was deeply wrong, of course, but he was wrong as well for this outburst in a kid’s presence

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    Oleg Tarasenko

    Oleg Tarasenko

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    After many years of working as sports journalist and trivia game author and host in Ukraine I joined Bored Panda as a content creator. I do love writing stories and I sincerely believe - there's no dull plots at all. Like a great Italian composer Joaquino Rossini once told: "Give me a police protocol - and I'll make an opera out of it!"

    Read less »
    Oleg Tarasenko

    Oleg Tarasenko

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    After many years of working as sports journalist and trivia game author and host in Ukraine I joined Bored Panda as a content creator. I do love writing stories and I sincerely believe - there's no dull plots at all. Like a great Italian composer Joaquino Rossini once told: "Give me a police protocol - and I'll make an opera out of it!"

    Rūta Zumbrickaitė

    Rūta Zumbrickaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Hi! Nice to meet you~ I'm very passionate about animals, especially cats, photography, small DIY projects, music and so much more! Could say I am the TV show The Office connoisseur since I have seen it at least a dozen times~

    Read less »

    Rūta Zumbrickaitė

    Rūta Zumbrickaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Hi! Nice to meet you~ I'm very passionate about animals, especially cats, photography, small DIY projects, music and so much more! Could say I am the TV show The Office connoisseur since I have seen it at least a dozen times~

    What do you think ?
    Add photo comments
    POST
    Sami-Jo Ross
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nina is setting her daughter up for a very, very harsh reality when she learns that no one in the real world gives a c**p.

    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP should've shut sis down the *minute* she started bragging on her kid, years ago. If Sofia started out at 2 yrs old + is now 10, this s**t's been going on for *8* *years.*

    Kristen Sharp
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No. You're NTA at all. I think it's just fine that you said that in front of the child. The mother is always bragging on, and the child will eventually be like "yes, it's true, I'm sooooo special and beautiful..." I'd have said worse I might have even gotten a little handsy with the a*****e mother, but that's me. I don't like bullies and people like that. Makes me really p***y!!

    Rachel Pelz
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe he could have said "I don't care about the model jobs"...wonder how the ESHs would like that.

    Load More Replies...
    sweet emotion
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Stop reading posts and emails from the sister. Inform her via email that she is no longer welcome in your home until she issues individual written, sincere apologies to you and your wife. I don't care if she runs crying to all the rest of the family and convinces them to pull out the "but she's famileeeeee!" bulloney - that woman is poison to your wife's current (and your daughter's future) self-esteem.

    moggie63
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sofia is the victim here, be available for her as this will not end well. Mummy? A massive b***h, living vicariously off her daughter's looks.

    Surly Scot
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow these parents are spineless. If someone called my daughter ugly they'd get a backhand across the face.

    KatSaidWhat
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    10 year old will hit puberty and there is nothing in the world that is going to stop that coming at her. Mum needs to get a life outside her daughter's looks because there are going to be EDMs and mental issues if she doesn't. Probably harshly phrased but we all have a breaking point when it comes to s**t like that. Also, don't insult me and my baby in my own home, b***h.

    TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    1 day ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Paying the water bills" is not commercial success. The woman is subsidising the advertising industry with her vanity project. It's great as a hobby if it makes her happy, but if you factor in the travel costs, incidentals like food, accommodation, clothes, (I bet she spends a fortune on "beauty treatments", whatever that is for a child) and hours on auditions, applications, travel and time on the set, she probably makes something outrageous like a tenth of minimum wage. In fact, she'd be lucky not to run at a debit total if an accountant added up her (probably extravagant spending) against actual income from modelling jobs.

    Tyke
    Community Member
    1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just start making loads of digs and comments about how people who value everyone on looks are shallow, rude and embarrassing

    Beth Wheeler
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The sister is a nightmare. He should have worded it a different way about the niece and all of her jobs. It's the jobs that he doesn't care about not the little girl.

    Beak Hookage
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Great, another one of those parents who just uses their kid to make money and prop up their own egos. And the instant the kid says she wants to quit and become a schoolteacher or whatever, Mother Dearest is going to EXPLODE. This s**t is blatant exploitation and should be f*****g illegal.

    Id row
    Community Member
    1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jeez, this guy is a massive AH for letting his sister continually take shots at his wife and child. The very first comment he should have taken her aside and read her the riot act. This guy needs a brain and a spine.

    Michelle Randazzo
    Community Member
    11 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe that beautiful child models l9ok will change during puberty. And not for the good.

    Meowzers!
    Community Member
    18 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA. I would have said the same thing and I would have been intentionally cruel about it too just to wind up and upset the mother as much as I possibly could. Though I would have not said it infront of the child. I would take the mother to another room and let rip. The bragging about the daughters looks is one thing but im shocked that nobody had anything to say about the mother declaring that the money the daughter is earning is being used to is pay the bills. That money should be in a bank account for the child to access when she is old enough. The mother should not be using it as an addition to the household funds. That is disgusting.

    tori Ohno
    Community Member
    1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She's spending her child's earnings on the household bills? Please tell me she was joking and she's actually saving it for the girl's future. Or does she think her daughter is too pretty to need college? Most beautiful babies and children don't grow up and keep their looks BTW, it's the ugly ones that grow into gorgeous adults. Tell her that as and watch her head explode.

    The_Nicest_Misanthrope
    Community Member
    1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why not just tell Nina to stfu? No need to make it about the neice specifically

    Sami-Jo Ross
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nina is setting her daughter up for a very, very harsh reality when she learns that no one in the real world gives a c**p.

    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP should've shut sis down the *minute* she started bragging on her kid, years ago. If Sofia started out at 2 yrs old + is now 10, this s**t's been going on for *8* *years.*

    Kristen Sharp
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No. You're NTA at all. I think it's just fine that you said that in front of the child. The mother is always bragging on, and the child will eventually be like "yes, it's true, I'm sooooo special and beautiful..." I'd have said worse I might have even gotten a little handsy with the a*****e mother, but that's me. I don't like bullies and people like that. Makes me really p***y!!

    Rachel Pelz
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe he could have said "I don't care about the model jobs"...wonder how the ESHs would like that.

    Load More Replies...
    sweet emotion
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Stop reading posts and emails from the sister. Inform her via email that she is no longer welcome in your home until she issues individual written, sincere apologies to you and your wife. I don't care if she runs crying to all the rest of the family and convinces them to pull out the "but she's famileeeeee!" bulloney - that woman is poison to your wife's current (and your daughter's future) self-esteem.

    moggie63
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sofia is the victim here, be available for her as this will not end well. Mummy? A massive b***h, living vicariously off her daughter's looks.

    Surly Scot
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow these parents are spineless. If someone called my daughter ugly they'd get a backhand across the face.

    KatSaidWhat
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    10 year old will hit puberty and there is nothing in the world that is going to stop that coming at her. Mum needs to get a life outside her daughter's looks because there are going to be EDMs and mental issues if she doesn't. Probably harshly phrased but we all have a breaking point when it comes to s**t like that. Also, don't insult me and my baby in my own home, b***h.

    TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    1 day ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Paying the water bills" is not commercial success. The woman is subsidising the advertising industry with her vanity project. It's great as a hobby if it makes her happy, but if you factor in the travel costs, incidentals like food, accommodation, clothes, (I bet she spends a fortune on "beauty treatments", whatever that is for a child) and hours on auditions, applications, travel and time on the set, she probably makes something outrageous like a tenth of minimum wage. In fact, she'd be lucky not to run at a debit total if an accountant added up her (probably extravagant spending) against actual income from modelling jobs.

    Tyke
    Community Member
    1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just start making loads of digs and comments about how people who value everyone on looks are shallow, rude and embarrassing

    Beth Wheeler
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The sister is a nightmare. He should have worded it a different way about the niece and all of her jobs. It's the jobs that he doesn't care about not the little girl.

    Beak Hookage
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Great, another one of those parents who just uses their kid to make money and prop up their own egos. And the instant the kid says she wants to quit and become a schoolteacher or whatever, Mother Dearest is going to EXPLODE. This s**t is blatant exploitation and should be f*****g illegal.

    Id row
    Community Member
    1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jeez, this guy is a massive AH for letting his sister continually take shots at his wife and child. The very first comment he should have taken her aside and read her the riot act. This guy needs a brain and a spine.

    Michelle Randazzo
    Community Member
    11 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe that beautiful child models l9ok will change during puberty. And not for the good.

    Meowzers!
    Community Member
    18 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA. I would have said the same thing and I would have been intentionally cruel about it too just to wind up and upset the mother as much as I possibly could. Though I would have not said it infront of the child. I would take the mother to another room and let rip. The bragging about the daughters looks is one thing but im shocked that nobody had anything to say about the mother declaring that the money the daughter is earning is being used to is pay the bills. That money should be in a bank account for the child to access when she is old enough. The mother should not be using it as an addition to the household funds. That is disgusting.

    tori Ohno
    Community Member
    1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She's spending her child's earnings on the household bills? Please tell me she was joking and she's actually saving it for the girl's future. Or does she think her daughter is too pretty to need college? Most beautiful babies and children don't grow up and keep their looks BTW, it's the ugly ones that grow into gorgeous adults. Tell her that as and watch her head explode.

    The_Nicest_Misanthrope
    Community Member
    1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why not just tell Nina to stfu? No need to make it about the neice specifically

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