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Our brains have this wonderful way of making everything seem so much easier when we aren’t staring it right in the face. After all, it’s pretty easy to think about just how productive you’ll be tomorrow while laying in bed. But as time has shown, a lot of life is more complicated than it looks.
Someone asked “What do most people think that is simple to deal with but is actually not?” and people from across the internet shared their best examples. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to share your own ideas in the comments section below.
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#1
Leaving abusive people. Its not just getting out a door. Its far more than that.
whodunnitfan2013 4 months ago
Abusers purposefully prevent their victims from leaving. They monitor them and their electronic activities, don't let them leave the house, steal their money, and even convince them they're not even being abused, etc.
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#2
People who manage their weight easily have no conception how difficult it is for those who can't.
#3
The death of a pet. They're not like toys, they're family and their loss is felt accordingly.
keyboardtek 4 months ago
Pets do not criticize or judge you. They are often much better than humans to be with.
#4
Managing mental health, a lot of people think it's just about being positive, but it's way more complex and requires real effort and support.
#5
Poverty.
There is this mentality "well, if you just pulled yourself up by your bootstraps" or "look! XYZ person is no longer poor, you can do it!"
What they fail to recognize is that poverty can be an inherited condition causing subsequent generations to not be able to escape it. Caused by, amongst other factors, self-reinforcing mechanisms that once it exists, persists unless there is outside intervention.
And yes, those people who have "pulled themselves up by their bootstraps" nine times out of ten had some form of assistance, regardless of what narrative is spun.
#6
Dealing with an aging parent especially when dementia or cognitive decline is involved. It doesn’t happen all at once so that all of a sudden everyone just agrees “yep they are legally incompetent.” It’s more like years of worry on behalf of the kids, hurt feelings and denial on behalf of the parent, trying to strategize how to get help from doctors and lawyers when the parent is resistant to help, trying to figure out what is the “last straw,” who can help the parent in what ways, ugh. It’s tough with no clear game plan on what to do.
BewilderedBanana 4 months ago
You cannot truly appreciate this until you have to go through it :( I also used to think that it would be so "obvious" that it's happening, and everyone (including the parents) would understand they need help. It's so far from that... it's gradual and they do not completely realise what's going on - it's very difficult to convince them they need help, especially coz you don't want to risk hurting their feelings, or making things worse. We seem to be getting there though, so fingers crossed
#7
Anxiety. People who don't suffer from it think you're overreacting about most things and controlling your thoughts and responses is a walk in the park. Don't you think if I could mute the panic button, I would? I mean...
BewilderedBanana 4 months ago
Another of those things you will never understand until you go through it yourself. All the "you just need to be positive" and "just stop thinking those thoughts" and "oh but you just need to stay calm" advice coming from everyone makes it worse
#8
Toxic parents. People think it's easy to just cut off bad parents and never speak to them again, but it's so difficult.
They're bad to you, but then you think about the times they weren't so bad. And they're still not so bad sometimes, so you think maybe you can have the relationship with them you want. But then they're awful to you again, and you wonder why you bother. But then...
My therapist, my tattoo artist, and I are all working on it together. Lol!
#9
Pain. So many people think or even say “Just power through it” because they can power through a mild headache or something. Yeah, I’ll just POWER THROUGH my TRIGEMINAL NEURALGIA, one of the top two most painful conditions in the world, also called a “s***ide” condition because it can cause people to shuffle off this mortal coil from pain. (I’m ok now, folks! I found a med that helps but for DECADES I just… dealt with it, curled up in a crying ball on my couch.).
BewilderedBanana 4 months ago
Everyone's pain threshold is different. Something that feels mild to one person might feel excruciating to someone else. "Power through it" is some of the worst advice you can give anyone in any form of suffering, both physical or mental. Seek help now.
#10
Low level depression. Just because someone isn't crying all the time and appears to be functional such as getting dressed, eating and working, doesn't mean it's easy and one is close to "snapping out of it".
It can take a huge amount of effort and internal monologue to simply get oneself out of bed every morning to "do it again".
BewilderedBanana 4 months ago (edited)
No one, who hasn't been through it, will ever understand this. Also, people who cry aren't necessarily depressed and vice versa. With depression you can lose all your sense of emotions. You don't feel happy or sad, you're just existing - and, in many cases, just hoping for this existence to end. You don't even have the will or motivation to do something about that, until it gets much worse. Everything, from getting out of bed, work, even basic things like eating and showering require MASSIVE effort, and "snapping out of it" isn't ever an option
#11
Teaching. Every Tom, D**k, and Harry thinks that because they were once students they know how it should be done.
For non-educators, think about the last time you had to give a presentation. Think about how much time and preparation it took. Think about how nervous you were.
Now imagine you have to do 6 of those. Every day.
Now, add to that a requirement that you have to get every audience member to participate in very specific and structured ways and develop skills while retaining new knowledge.
And a solid half of them don’t want to do that or even be there.
And you have to plan all of that, every day, with 1/5 of the time required to plan for it.
And you have to evaluate each audience member’s growth. And you have anywhere from 20 to 200 audience members.
And an external authority is going to give your audience members a test to see how well you did.
And you might get shot.
And Sean Hannity and Tucker Carlson think you’re trying to turn kids into gay, America-hating communists who hate white people.
#12
Keeping plants alive: Water, sunlight, sounds easy, but somehow I ended up with a graveyard of botanic victims.
#13
Honestly just working 40 hours a week and trying to be fully present for your family. I'm married, and I have no idea how single parents are doing hanging in there. Big props to single parents!
#15
Man, quitting smoking was a real eye-opener for me. I always thought it'd be a piece of cake, you know? Just toss the cigs and boom, done. Ha! What a joke. When I tried to quit last year, it hit me like a truck. The cravings were insane, but the worst part? My head was all over the place. I'd snap at my buddies for no reason, couldn't focus on jack at work. Everyone's like, "Dude, just stop buying them." If only it was that simple! Took me ages, a ton of patches, and some group therapy sessions to finally kick it. Now I get why people struggle so much with this stuff.
#16
Looking after your Grandchild for a full day. You love them death, but you're a good 25-30 years removed from watching after another human being and it can wipe you out. Seems easy - just watch a movie or two and take a nap. Nope. It can be like hanging out with a speed freak with no off button.
#17
Hearing loss. Hearing aids help . You will always deal with auditory processing issues especially in a situation where multiple people are talking. I wish personal subtitles or conversation bubbles were a real thing.
Jane Jayne Jain Jeign Jein 4 months ago
I wish everyone was taught sign language in school: the deaf community would not be so marginalised and most people would benefit as they get older. Also tonnes of noisy situations where sign language would be really useful.
#18
People think to stop crime you just put more police officers out on the street, when the true method of stopping crime is making sure the public's material conditions are met. That means higher wages for the working class so they can afford goods and services. Child care availability for their children and community centers where young kids and teens can participate in positive activities. All these social safety programs hinder profits, so cities and states would rather just put more cops out there to harass innocent people for minor offenses.
Michael Largey 4 months ago
The costliest and most damaging crimes don't happen on the streets - they happen in corporate offices. And often completely legally.
#19
Periods. Everyone is different, but for some, periods are debilitating. Awful pain, messes with your stomach, creates soreness, slowness, fatigue for days. And more than just being irritable, some of us have full-on temper issues and then gloomy melancholia for the week/s leading up to it. But then some men want to make the joke that "she's probably on her period." Yeah. My body is shedding itself. It sucks.
#20
Having a chronic illness. Like obviously yoga and meditation will fix me! /s.
#21
Getting a good night's sleep seems straightforward, but balancing stress, screen time, and a busy schedule makes it much more complex than people realize.
Jane Jayne Jain Jeign Jein 4 months ago
In the UK the legal minimum time between shifts for HGV drivers is 9 hours, and for bus drivers it's 8 1/2 hours - that time includes commuting home, fixing super, relaxing, sleeping, getting up & washed, fixing breakfast & commuting back to work. Yet when accidents happen because a professional driver is tired it's never the fault of the scheduler or the exploitative boss or the lawmakers who allow this nonsense.
#22
Breastfeeding. It’s supposed to be natural right? Like, every woman who gives birth can obviously breast feed. Not so much….
Guy Bare 4 months ago
When I got pregnant I was absolutely convinced that I would never ever breastfeed my baby. I thought of it as "disgusting". Ended up breastfeeding 2 years and 16 months my babies. And I understood why I didn't have any exemples around me of women feeding their babies : people make you feel gross, they mock you and make everything so you feel Guilty for it (like "Because of you he will be fat/gay/unhealthy !"). Wow. I had to fight against the difficulty of giving birth, then to fight for the pain of breastfeeding, then for the baby to feed correctly AND to fight my own relatives and their unwelcomed commente. I should have got a medal for continuing it so long and also for just trying it at first. And I also give hugs and support to every mums on earth, breastfeeding or not.
#25
People often think sticking to a diet is simple, but it's actually really tough.
#26
If you have social anxiety introducing yourself to somebody.
#27
Communicating effectively appears easy, but truly understanding others, expressing oneself clearly, and avoiding misunderstandings requires a lot of practice and patience.
keyboardtek 4 months ago
Learning the blocks to listening is very useful. My main block is that I am thinking of my response to the first thing someone says and missing the second half of their statement.
#28
Managing mental health. It seems so simple, til suddenly you get anxious or depressed or stressed out. Or you don't even realize how bad it's gotten until you hear yourself saying something that you ordinarily don't say.
BewilderedBanana 4 months ago
More awareness about mental health issues is needed, i think. People have no idea what it's like before they have to go through it and, once they do, most do not know when or how to find help.
#29
Sticking to a budget. A simple concept in theory, and yes, poor planning and poor money management definitely exists for a lot of people. But “live within your means” used to mean “do without multiple vacations a year and cut down on frivolous spending.” Now, there’s a fundamental misunderstanding of the problem. People nowadays are not going broke trying to buy brand new nice shiny cars, or winter in the Bahamas; they’re just trying to scrape by in an economy where wages have not caught up to the cost of living. And in the US, a chronic medical condition or one unexpected hospital stay can ruin you financially for years. So, budgeting and financial planning, both relatively simple concepts on paper, become much more complex in practice when your very basic necessities exceed your income, and you keep hearing “well, just spend less.”.
Derek Miranda 4 months ago
We aren't budgeting and saving for a vacation. It is for the upcoming cost of an unpredictable hospital visit or car repair.
#30
Managing personal finances often seems simple but can be surprisingly complex.
What do you think ?
StrangeOne 4 months ago
Apartment hunting. You fill out an application and then the agency wants a deposit while they deliberate if they'll accept you. While you're waiting, you'll want to look at and apply for other apartments, not knowing if you'll get accepted, and you won't know until you send in the application with deposit. But wait... You only have so much money, bills need to get paid, you need to eat and get yourself to work and you have hundreds on hold and may take a month before it's given back to you. And the clock is ticking towards the deadline. You may need a cosigner. Great, now who's willing to do that for you?
Sophia Athene 4 months ago (edited)
And you have to pay a background check fee and an application fee (not a deposit but fees even if you don't rent from them or they turn you down). At the time of signing, if you're lucky to get the apartment, you owe 1st and last months' rent along with a non-refundable cleaning and repairs deposit of several hundreds of $$$ and another non-refundable pet deposit of hundreds of $$$ if you have a pet small enough to meet their requirements.
Load More Replies... Liz The Biz 4 months ago
Coping with an elderly incontinent pet dog. People say, "Oh it's just a bit of pee." No it's not. In reality it is a 24/7 job. It is endless washing and drying of bedding, shampooing carpets, bathing and cleaning up the dog, and the smell that permeates everything and does not go away no matter how many air freshners or scented candles you use. There's no day off and you can't go away on holiday because nobody wants to look after an incontinent dog.
StrangeOne 4 months ago
Apartment hunting. You fill out an application and then the agency wants a deposit while they deliberate if they'll accept you. While you're waiting, you'll want to look at and apply for other apartments, not knowing if you'll get accepted, and you won't know until you send in the application with deposit. But wait... You only have so much money, bills need to get paid, you need to eat and get yourself to work and you have hundreds on hold and may take a month before it's given back to you. And the clock is ticking towards the deadline. You may need a cosigner. Great, now who's willing to do that for you?
Sophia Athene 4 months ago (edited)
And you have to pay a background check fee and an application fee (not a deposit but fees even if you don't rent from them or they turn you down). At the time of signing, if you're lucky to get the apartment, you owe 1st and last months' rent along with a non-refundable cleaning and repairs deposit of several hundreds of $$$ and another non-refundable pet deposit of hundreds of $$$ if you have a pet small enough to meet their requirements.
Load More Replies... Liz The Biz 4 months ago
Coping with an elderly incontinent pet dog. People say, "Oh it's just a bit of pee." No it's not. In reality it is a 24/7 job. It is endless washing and drying of bedding, shampooing carpets, bathing and cleaning up the dog, and the smell that permeates everything and does not go away no matter how many air freshners or scented candles you use. There's no day off and you can't go away on holiday because nobody wants to look after an incontinent dog.
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