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Woman Throws Kid’s B-Day Party A Day After SIL’s Wedding, Sparks Debate On Whether It’s Appropriate
People are strange. More than half a century has passed since Jim Morrison first sang this phrase, but that doesn’t stop it from being the absolute truth. Okay, let’s make an assumption: “many people are strange,” and very often they aren’t completely ready to think about the possible consequences of their actions.
For example, in the story that we’re about to tell you today, from the user u/sohodone in the AITA Reddit community, the heroine for some reason decided that her brother’s wedding, which was attended by relatives from all over the country, was an excellent reason to throw a party on the occasion of her daughter’s birthday. And this is what came out of it all (spoiler – nothing good)…
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The author of the post was recently invited to her brother’s wedding which was pretty low-key
Image credits: Emma Bauso (not the actual photo)
The next day the woman’s daughter turned 5, so she decided in advance to use the opportunity and throw a birthday party for all the wedding guests
Image credits: u/sohodone
The woman’s family is well-off so the parents arranged a large-scale lavish carnival
Image credits: samaraagenstvo feeria (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/sohodone
In the evening, the mom found her SIL crying in the bathroom, as the birthday party really outshone her special day
So, the Original Poster (OP) was recently invited to her brother’s wedding. The ceremony was not too pompous, and took place in a small church nearby. Accordingly, the wedding party was not particularly large, although it was attended by relatives from all over the area. And everything would be fine if not for one idea of the author of the post…
The fact is that literally the next day after the wedding, the OP’s daughter had her fifth birthday, and the mom decided in advance that the moment when the entire extended family was there should not be missed. And long before the wedding, all the guests had received automatic invitations to the girl’s birthday party.
It must be said that the OP’s family is way wealthier than her brother’s. Her husband is a surgeon and earns good money, and besides, as the woman herself admits, he loves to spoil his daughter. And the OP, accordingly, loves organizing various kinds of holidays. This time she booked a really nice garden venue, and organized a princess carnival for all kids and adults.
So it turned out that the scale of the party completely eclipsed the previous day’s wedding – and at the end of the evening, the original poster, going into the bathroom, found her SIL there, crying because her wedding essentially turned out to be a prequel to the little girl’s birthday. The bride accused the author of ruining her special day, and the mom herself, in her own words, does not consider herself guilty of anything at all. Although some relatives, let’s be honest, sided with the bride.
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
“Let’s admit it to ourselves – at the age of about five years, all the magnificent birthday parties are not so much for the children themselves, but for their parents,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, with whom Bored Panda got in touch for a comment over this case. “Often this is an opportunity to show off. But in the end, the guests were coming for the wedding, so even though this girl’s mother invited everyone in advance, it turned out that the main event was the birthday. And yes, the wedding thus faded into the background.”
“Of course, accusing this woman of deliberately ruining the SIL’s wedding would be an exaggeration. Most likely, she simply did not think that she would overshadow the wedding with her large-scale party. By and large, because of these ‘didn’t think’ and ‘didn’t figure out the possible consequences’, many family dramas happen, and not only family ones. I do hope that both women will be able to explain themselves and still solve the problem that has arisen between them,” Irina presumes.
But the vast majority of people in the comments directly accused the original poster of attention-seeking, and an attempt with this party to shift the attention of relatives and friends. “I doubt your SIL was jealous of a little girl. She was probably more hurt that you would have the audacity to do something like that,” one of the commenters wrote.
As for the author’s excuse that her daughter’s birthday actually falls on the day after the wedding, commenters tried to reject this attempt – after all, the mom could really have postponed the party so as not to hurt the feelings of the newlyweds. “Birthday parties certainly don’t have to be on your actual birthday. You couldn’t have waited a week?” folks in the comments pondered quite reasonably.
In any case, weddings sometimes almost attract various kinds of incidents and troubles. To be convinced of this, it’s enough, for example, to read our selection of various strange and ridiculous wedding tales. And besides, we’re looking forward to your own points of view about this particular story, so welcome to the comments section!
Most people in the comments accused the author of attention-seeking and claimed that the party could actually have been postponed
Image credits: Liza Summer (not the actual photo)
What do you think ?
LH25 1 year ago
I get the wanting to celebrate while family was in town, but I'm on the YTA side. She didn't have to throw such an elaborate party. 5 YOs don't care. I think she was trying to show off. Letting the couple know weeks before isn't enough, as wedding are planned way before that. I wonder if she ever asked her brother and SIL to be if they minded.
Tyke 1 year ago
Agreed. I reckon they could have done what someone else mentions, had an open house. It's not the fact they had the party, it's the level of showiness (struggling with the right word here). Plus, to be honest, 5yo will just want her friends and party bags, the whole family thing was for the Mother's benefit, not the child.
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Squirrelly Panda 1 year ago
I get wanting to do the birthday party while family was in town. It all depends on what the party was like. I initially pictured a unicorn theme in a park with lots of kid games as well as nice seating and refreshments for adults to talk over the wedding and catch up. But when I read "nice garden venue" and "princess carnival" I realized how easily it could become over the top with flowers, ribbons, fancy dresses, rides and games and possibly (probably?) look more like a wedding than the wedding.
Helena 1 year ago
If it were a coincidence, I'd say nta, but this sounds very deliberate. Once in a lifetime, where it was planned for a long time, they probably scraped every cent they could together to throw it, they wanted it to be a good memory, and the rich relative swoops in and takes over the memory, that seems really deliberate. So now whenever anyone thinks of their wedding they'll immediately conflate it to the bigger birthday party. She's 5. You couldn't have just done it a week later, or toned it the heck down. 5 year olds don't need that much, they don't know better. My sisters birthday was 2 days after moms wedding. Small family get together at the house. She was 4/5 somewhere in there, she remembers nothing. Everyone remembers moms pretty, but humble, wedding.
CatLady 1 year ago
I disagree. The most memorable wedding I've ever been at was my cousin's. In a simple hall, 20 guests, few decorations, ceremony, cupcakes, and punch. They were shining with love and joy, and it was beautiful. It was all done in an hour and a half, and then they booked it for the hotel, and most of the rest of us went to dinner. The simplicity had nothing to do with money; they just decided they wanted it done quickly (I suspect eagerness to consummate played a part in the speed). The next weekend my parents had an elaborate anniversary party, catered, decorated, rented hall, etc. My cousin and his new wife came, all smiles. They didn't care which event was fancier. Years later, after some big family weddings, they still don't care. It wasn't a contest for them. They just wanted to get married, and they did, and they're happy. A wedding is to pledge yourself to the one you want to spend your life with; it's not about putting on the biggest show,
Load More Replies... LH25 1 year ago
I get the wanting to celebrate while family was in town, but I'm on the YTA side. She didn't have to throw such an elaborate party. 5 YOs don't care. I think she was trying to show off. Letting the couple know weeks before isn't enough, as wedding are planned way before that. I wonder if she ever asked her brother and SIL to be if they minded.
Tyke 1 year ago
Agreed. I reckon they could have done what someone else mentions, had an open house. It's not the fact they had the party, it's the level of showiness (struggling with the right word here). Plus, to be honest, 5yo will just want her friends and party bags, the whole family thing was for the Mother's benefit, not the child.
Load More Replies... Squirrelly Panda 1 year ago
I get wanting to do the birthday party while family was in town. It all depends on what the party was like. I initially pictured a unicorn theme in a park with lots of kid games as well as nice seating and refreshments for adults to talk over the wedding and catch up. But when I read "nice garden venue" and "princess carnival" I realized how easily it could become over the top with flowers, ribbons, fancy dresses, rides and games and possibly (probably?) look more like a wedding than the wedding.
Helena 1 year ago
If it were a coincidence, I'd say nta, but this sounds very deliberate. Once in a lifetime, where it was planned for a long time, they probably scraped every cent they could together to throw it, they wanted it to be a good memory, and the rich relative swoops in and takes over the memory, that seems really deliberate. So now whenever anyone thinks of their wedding they'll immediately conflate it to the bigger birthday party. She's 5. You couldn't have just done it a week later, or toned it the heck down. 5 year olds don't need that much, they don't know better. My sisters birthday was 2 days after moms wedding. Small family get together at the house. She was 4/5 somewhere in there, she remembers nothing. Everyone remembers moms pretty, but humble, wedding.
CatLady 1 year ago
I disagree. The most memorable wedding I've ever been at was my cousin's. In a simple hall, 20 guests, few decorations, ceremony, cupcakes, and punch. They were shining with love and joy, and it was beautiful. It was all done in an hour and a half, and then they booked it for the hotel, and most of the rest of us went to dinner. The simplicity had nothing to do with money; they just decided they wanted it done quickly (I suspect eagerness to consummate played a part in the speed). The next weekend my parents had an elaborate anniversary party, catered, decorated, rented hall, etc. My cousin and his new wife came, all smiles. They didn't care which event was fancier. Years later, after some big family weddings, they still don't care. It wasn't a contest for them. They just wanted to get married, and they did, and they're happy. A wedding is to pledge yourself to the one you want to spend your life with; it's not about putting on the biggest show,
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