Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app
Continue in app Continue in browser

Add post form topAdd Post
Tooltip close

The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here.

Aunt And Her Kids Sent Home From Costly B-Day Party Because Of Not RSVP’ing But Coming Anyway

Aunt And Her Kids Sent Home From Costly B-Day Party Because Of Not RSVP’ing But Coming Anyway

Dad Warns SIL In Advance That RSVP Is A Must At His Daughter’s Birthday Party, She Neglects It AllLady And Kids Kicked Out Of Costly B-Day Event After Skipping RSVP And Expecting It To Work OutDad Tells SIL Beforehand About RSVP Needed For His Daughter's Birthday Party, She Just Ghosts HimAunt And Her Kids Sent Home From Costly B-Day Party Because Of Not RSVP'ing But Coming AnywayAunt Ignores Need To RSVP To Niece's B-Day Party, Causes Drama When She's Kicked Out By SecurityAunt And Her Kids Sent Home From Costly B-Day Party Because Of Not RSVP'ing But Coming AnywayAunt And Her Kids Sent Home From Costly B-Day Party Because Of Not RSVP'ing But Coming Anyway
ADVERTISEMENT

I’ve written several cat-related posts in the last few days, so it’s no surprise that another “feline” analogy is coming up in my mind. You know how it is – when a cat insistently demands to be let into the room, you open the door – and it sits there and doesn’t even think about coming in. And as soon as you close the door again – it starts meowing demandingly over and over.

Yes, this behavior is typical of cats, but, as it turns out, some people do something similar as well. You don’t believe me? Then voila – this story from the user u/Important-Window-715, whose sister-in-law once behaved in a completely similar way at her niece’s birthday party.

More info: Reddit

RELATED:

    The author of the post recently threw a party for his daughter’s birthday and invited the sister-in-law with her daughters too

    Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    The main problem was that this lady could be called unreliable at best, so the man tried to make her RSVP in advance

    Image credits: Important-Window-715

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: rawpixel.com / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    The first conversation took place a few months prior to the party, then emails and texts followed – but to no avail

    Image credits: Important-Window-715

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    Finally, the man crossed them all off the guest list and booked the tickets and catering without them

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: Important-Window-715

    And then the sister-in-law showed up with her daughters – but the author simply asked the security to eject them

    So, the Original Poster (OP) has a 16-year-old daughter, who recently had a birthday party, and it included a private tour of a place she had long dreamed of going to. And the parents rented out a room to have a catered dinner too.

    Needless to say, the author needed to know the number of guests in advance, to buy everyone entrance tickets, and to plan the exact amount of food for the caterers. Our hero did everything in advance, contacting all the guests. Well, almost all the guests…

    Enter the author’s SIL, who, as our hero notes, is an extremely unreliable person. At best, unreliable. The SIL has a long-standing conflict with the author’s wife, but her two daughters are longtime friends of their child, so the man decided to take matters into his own hands.

    A few months before the birthday, the OP had a detailed 20-minute phone conversation with the SIL, during which he explained the situation in detail, and asked for an RSVP beforehand. For both her and her daughters. Then, there were two more emails and three texts with reminders, but both the SIL and the nieces just blatantly ghosted him.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Anyway, when it came time to buy the tickets and order the catering, our hero simply said to himself: “Screw it!” and crossed all three off the guest list. And now fast forward to the party – and guess who showed up unexpectedly? That’s right, the sister-in-law and her offspring!

    But then the man decided that the neglect should be punished, and simply told the security not to let them in without a ticket. And so it happened, and all three were forced to go home. True, then a terrible scandal broke out, during which only the wife sided with the OP, and now even his own daughter holds a grudge against him.

    So the original poster decided to find out the opinion of people online – how right did he act in this particular situation?

    Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    “Some people actually try to weaponize their own incompetence, thereby creating a lot of problems for others,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist with whom Bored Panda got in touch for a comment here. “And then, consciously or not, they act similarly in a variety of situations. Taking any possible consequences as an offense.”

    ADVERTISEMENT

    “In any case, this woman’s actions could not only cause extra trouble for the party organizers, but also actually put them under additional expenses, because they would have to re-plan their budget. And doing it at the last moment is almost always more expensive.”

    “And if such a reaction happens once – it’s a mishap, two or three times – it’s also, perhaps, a mishap, but several times in a row – this is already an unpleasant trend. And the only person, in fact, at whom the birthday girl’s friends should be offended here is their own mother,” Irina concludes.

    The overwhelming majority of commenters also sided with the author, arguing that it was his SIL that was to blame for the current situation, and only her. “Incredibly poor behavior – if anything she owes you and your daughter an apology for causing a ridiculous drama,” someone aptly wrote. “Actions have consequences,” another person added wisely.

    And the responders also advised the author that next time his now fully grown daughter should throw her birthday party and invite the guests herself. “Next time enlist your daughter who’s 16 to make sure her cousins ​​are attending instead of you or your wife. At 16 she can make sure all her friends are actually coming to the party,” one of the commenters mused. And do you, our dear readers, agree with this point of view?

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Most people in the comments sided with the author massively, claiming that it was the SIL who owed an apology to the man

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    Ic_polls

    Poll Question

    Thanks! Check out the results:

    Share on Facebook
    Oleg Tarasenko

    Oleg Tarasenko

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    After many years of working as sports journalist and trivia game author and host in Ukraine I joined Bored Panda as a content creator. I do love writing stories and I sincerely believe - there's no dull plots at all. Like a great Italian composer Joaquino Rossini once told: "Give me a police protocol - and I'll make an opera out of it!"

    Read less »
    Oleg Tarasenko

    Oleg Tarasenko

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    After many years of working as sports journalist and trivia game author and host in Ukraine I joined Bored Panda as a content creator. I do love writing stories and I sincerely believe - there's no dull plots at all. Like a great Italian composer Joaquino Rossini once told: "Give me a police protocol - and I'll make an opera out of it!"

    Rūta Zumbrickaitė

    Rūta Zumbrickaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Hi! Nice to meet you~ I'm very passionate about animals, especially cats, photography, small DIY projects, music and so much more! Could say I am the TV show The Office connoisseur since I have seen it at least a dozen times~

    Read less »

    Rūta Zumbrickaitė

    Rūta Zumbrickaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Hi! Nice to meet you~ I'm very passionate about animals, especially cats, photography, small DIY projects, music and so much more! Could say I am the TV show The Office connoisseur since I have seen it at least a dozen times~

    What do you think ?
    Add photo comments
    POST
    TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Screenshot all texts to the family chat with "How much more spoonfeeding does a supposedly grown woman need to get free tickets?". Then leave the chat. You. don't need another 40 years of arguing with idiots.

    Schmebulock
    Community Member
    20 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Go NC with them and any other shitard family that acts this way - problem solved.

    VNES101
    Community Member
    23 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    All I know is never in life would my kids be allowed to call me a d*ck. You got me f*cked up!

    PinkNekoGirl
    Community Member
    4 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How exactly do you stop them from saying it? Even if you punish them after, they still said it. I got punishment for cussing, but the shock it caused them made it worth it to my teenage brain. I will also point out that OP never said she wasn’t punished for that.

    Load More Replies...
    Mark Childers
    Community Member
    20 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My cousins are like this. We were all raised together, so I have no idea how they got like this except for their mother (aunt by marriage). They never say thank you or please and demand whatever they want. Gifts to them and their kids go unacknowledged. I act as though they don't exist now.

    Apatheist Account2
    Community Member
    1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The best approach is to send an email with delivery and read receipts and the message "if I don't hear from you by x date, I'll assume you're not coming", or, if payment is required, "if I don't get payment by x date then I'll assume you're not coming".

    Suzie
    Community Member
    15 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If it had been me, I'd have gotten tickets for the cousins and told them to be ready at whatever time they needed to be ready and that I would pick them up and they would ride with me. I'd tell SIL to kick rocks.

    Shannon Donnelly
    Community Member
    21 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't think it's that he cares what his wife/SIL's family thinks so much as the repercussions it's having on his daughter & her cousins. I absolutely get why the daughter is upset, but once she's calmed down, this is a great teaching moment for OP & his wife to explain to daughter why it's so important to respond Y/N to invites in not just personal life but in the professional world too. Make sure she understands that SIL/cousins weren't kicked out out of spite (I'm sure she knows mom & aunt don't get along), but that b/c SIL didn't RSVP, there were no tickets reserved for them, no catering for them, & no way to change it at that moment. This could've been avoided by SIL simply giving an answer, & daughter needs to understand that the fault lies only w/ her for refusing to do something that would've taken 30 seconds of her precious time.

    Load More Replies...
    Alexander Luna
    Community Member
    12 minutes ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ask the family if you'd bought tickets for her without her confirming to go or not and she decided then not to go, would she have reimbursed you for them? I'd say no and she's kick up a fuss about it. Tell them that's the answer then, - no confirmation, no tickets.

    Alyssa Phillips
    Community Member
    1 hour ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Had this issue a few years ago and "showed kindness" 8yr old birthday party, low-key at a bowling alley but had to reserve tables, lanes, food, etc. 9 kids RSVP'd. 34 SHOWED UP. Thank goodness the Alley was kind and busted their butts to fit everyone and get extra food. However, the 400$ birthday party ended up being almost 2k. 😑

    Nina
    Community Member
    5 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just a case of FAFO. Consequences to her (lack of) actions.

    Shannon Donnelly
    Community Member
    21 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So what? Because it happened a year ago the situation is irrelevant? People can't have a discussion about the universal behaviors surrounding this specific incident?? A back-and-forth about how it's appropriate or not to respond to situations like this?? Unless the subject is about something completely time sensitive, like "I'm having trouble deciding who to vote for in the 2020 election," why does the date this was originally posted have any relevance? And if you're so offended by BP mining old posts from Reddit, you might as well just delete BP & stick with Reddit.

    Load More Replies...
    Sara Shamsabadi
    Community Member
    22 hours ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    yeah sorry I think you're all aholes....look at the example you're setting for your kid. Yes them behaving this way is maddening but maybe showing kindness when they did show up, in front of them & your own child would have been better? You all ruined your daughter's special day by this way. Sorry I will never think it's ok to 'kick out' a family member unless obviously there's abuse or violence. They are just s****y at planning I get how frustrating that is, because I'm punctual & like to plan things but life & people aren't perfect. You go out of your way for family especially because you want your child to see you expressing kindness & patience when possible. I'm sure there was a better way to handle it when they showed up in person.

    Austzn
    Community Member
    22 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What was the better way? They didn't have tickets or meals because of their inaction. You have that last part backwards; you show examples of kindness by respecting a simple RSVP. What you are advocating is tolerating rude and toxic behavior and that is a poor example to set for children.

    Load More Replies...
    TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Screenshot all texts to the family chat with "How much more spoonfeeding does a supposedly grown woman need to get free tickets?". Then leave the chat. You. don't need another 40 years of arguing with idiots.

    Schmebulock
    Community Member
    20 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Go NC with them and any other shitard family that acts this way - problem solved.

    VNES101
    Community Member
    23 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    All I know is never in life would my kids be allowed to call me a d*ck. You got me f*cked up!

    PinkNekoGirl
    Community Member
    4 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How exactly do you stop them from saying it? Even if you punish them after, they still said it. I got punishment for cussing, but the shock it caused them made it worth it to my teenage brain. I will also point out that OP never said she wasn’t punished for that.

    Load More Replies...
    Mark Childers
    Community Member
    20 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My cousins are like this. We were all raised together, so I have no idea how they got like this except for their mother (aunt by marriage). They never say thank you or please and demand whatever they want. Gifts to them and their kids go unacknowledged. I act as though they don't exist now.

    Apatheist Account2
    Community Member
    1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The best approach is to send an email with delivery and read receipts and the message "if I don't hear from you by x date, I'll assume you're not coming", or, if payment is required, "if I don't get payment by x date then I'll assume you're not coming".

    Suzie
    Community Member
    15 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If it had been me, I'd have gotten tickets for the cousins and told them to be ready at whatever time they needed to be ready and that I would pick them up and they would ride with me. I'd tell SIL to kick rocks.

    Shannon Donnelly
    Community Member
    21 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't think it's that he cares what his wife/SIL's family thinks so much as the repercussions it's having on his daughter & her cousins. I absolutely get why the daughter is upset, but once she's calmed down, this is a great teaching moment for OP & his wife to explain to daughter why it's so important to respond Y/N to invites in not just personal life but in the professional world too. Make sure she understands that SIL/cousins weren't kicked out out of spite (I'm sure she knows mom & aunt don't get along), but that b/c SIL didn't RSVP, there were no tickets reserved for them, no catering for them, & no way to change it at that moment. This could've been avoided by SIL simply giving an answer, & daughter needs to understand that the fault lies only w/ her for refusing to do something that would've taken 30 seconds of her precious time.

    Load More Replies...
    Alexander Luna
    Community Member
    12 minutes ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ask the family if you'd bought tickets for her without her confirming to go or not and she decided then not to go, would she have reimbursed you for them? I'd say no and she's kick up a fuss about it. Tell them that's the answer then, - no confirmation, no tickets.

    Alyssa Phillips
    Community Member
    1 hour ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Had this issue a few years ago and "showed kindness" 8yr old birthday party, low-key at a bowling alley but had to reserve tables, lanes, food, etc. 9 kids RSVP'd. 34 SHOWED UP. Thank goodness the Alley was kind and busted their butts to fit everyone and get extra food. However, the 400$ birthday party ended up being almost 2k. 😑

    Nina
    Community Member
    5 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just a case of FAFO. Consequences to her (lack of) actions.

    Shannon Donnelly
    Community Member
    21 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So what? Because it happened a year ago the situation is irrelevant? People can't have a discussion about the universal behaviors surrounding this specific incident?? A back-and-forth about how it's appropriate or not to respond to situations like this?? Unless the subject is about something completely time sensitive, like "I'm having trouble deciding who to vote for in the 2020 election," why does the date this was originally posted have any relevance? And if you're so offended by BP mining old posts from Reddit, you might as well just delete BP & stick with Reddit.

    Load More Replies...
    Sara Shamsabadi
    Community Member
    22 hours ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    yeah sorry I think you're all aholes....look at the example you're setting for your kid. Yes them behaving this way is maddening but maybe showing kindness when they did show up, in front of them & your own child would have been better? You all ruined your daughter's special day by this way. Sorry I will never think it's ok to 'kick out' a family member unless obviously there's abuse or violence. They are just s****y at planning I get how frustrating that is, because I'm punctual & like to plan things but life & people aren't perfect. You go out of your way for family especially because you want your child to see you expressing kindness & patience when possible. I'm sure there was a better way to handle it when they showed up in person.

    Austzn
    Community Member
    22 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What was the better way? They didn't have tickets or meals because of their inaction. You have that last part backwards; you show examples of kindness by respecting a simple RSVP. What you are advocating is tolerating rude and toxic behavior and that is a poor example to set for children.

    Load More Replies...
    You May Like
    Related on Bored Panda
    Related on Bored Panda
    Trending on Bored Panda
    Also on Bored Panda