ah. okay. i’m.. a little concerned for myself now, as i relate to all of these.

Well done!!!! I admire and respect your courage and sanity.

Was shocked reading a re-imagined story about Cinderella " other kids knew they could ask any adult for help - and get it, not Rella ". My sister and I were both kind of Cinderella.

Same here. Whenever someone told me that I did a good job on something I would instantly think "Did I really do a good job? or is she/he just feeling sorry for me?"

As well as an ability to lie wonderuflly...

i cannot say enough how true this is. i’ve wondered why i am always so uncomfortable if i am unable to read someone, and this really explains it.

oh i am so happy for this person. they managd to get good grades with bad parents? now thats a great achievment

OMG this! Heaven forbid I'd be resting while nobody was home to see or comment....

and you also leanr whos steps are whos when they are walking up and down the stairs.

And not knowing how to comfort someone. Like I know I should feel something, but I just don't.

Yes all of these are too familiar.

i apologize because i’m just worried that i might mess something up.

Or "Why are they nice to me? Are they actually mocking me?"

Oh yes!

I relate to this the most.

i don’t want kids. mostly because i know there is no way i would be able to handle them.

::raises hand:: I'm 40 right now and I still have "the class clown" personality because at least if people are laughing at me, they're paying attention to me, right? Right?!

"Haha, omg guys, so once when I was 6, my dad was about to leave on a business trip and my mom grabbed me, pressed the revolver she'd gotten from my grandpa into my throat under my chin, and told my dad that if he left on one more business trip, she'd kill us kids and then herself! Isn't that hilarious?" (that is a true story from my childhood, sadly)

I was always terrified of my mother as a young child, because one moment she would be screaming at me, beating me, and throwing me across the room, and then 5 minutes later she'd come into the room smiling with a plate of cookies she'd just baked all "Do you want a cookie, Cryssie?" I was off-balance all the time because I had NO idea what I'd done to make her angry, nor why she suddenly wasn't angry AT ALL any more, and I was terrified that I'd do whatever I'd done to p**s her off again and she'd go nuclear again in the next 30 seconds. I had no idea that that wasn't normal.

There were some good times in my childhood, but I was constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop because it always, always did. Every day, good or bad, would end with my dad being in a bad mood for some stupid reason.

Yeah. This is when survival instincts kick in, based on previous experience with your parents. I overreacted so many times in normal situations, because I felt in danger - and obviously this affected my relationships.

My older sister gets pissed when I talk about how abusive my mother was towards me. She'll say "Mom never HIT you!" Uh, mom used to cut me with the kitchen knives, not just hit me/throw me across the room. But my sister is my parents' biological child, and I'm adopted. My sister is just like my mother and is/was "the perfect child", so she was never yelled at or hit while we were growing up.

Frustration tears, angry tears, sad tears, and tears from laughing too hard...basically all the crying. I'd give anything for this to not be a knee jerk reaction from my body.

this!!! i have never been able to describe the feeling i get when someone becomes loud- it has always terrified me.

THIS. Spent a weekend at a friend's home. Was shocked how nice her parents were. Was shocked how she could joke *with* them.

I'm apparently "spoiled" because I was adopted! My biological mother was an unmarried alcoholic/drug addict who already had two other children (from unknown fathers) and she didn't even have working utilities in her trailer. I was told from a very early age (5ish or so) that I needed to be grateful because I had been taken away from such a HORRIBLE situation and brought to have a "normal" life. Apparently that = me being spoiled.

Mine treated me like I was slow. My twin was very book smart. Took a therapist when I was 16 to test my math skills (first diagnosis) and at 23 I got the full testing to find out, nope not slow.. lots of mental disabilities.. I cried hysterically because I finally had a name to the learning disabilities that plagued my life. Best day of my life.

Wanting it and not getting healthy affection is equally as painful.

Making jokes hides the pain! If you can make others laugh, even if they're laughing AT you, then you are a-o-kay. I'm a master "class clown"/comedian and most of my jokes are self-deprecating.

I've tried to explain to my husband what it's like to ALWAYS feel that things are my fault. If anyone is ever unhappy in my circle, it's my fault and it's my responsibility to fix what's wrong. I think it It must be amazing not to feel this way.

Yep. There have been a lot of days lately when I really needed to "talk to my mom" but that's just not an option

Cutting off all contact was one of the sanest things I have ever done for myself. And telling social services that my nephews must a NEVER be left alone with either grandparent was also. edit:Life is a bit complicated for them.

Because anger was the only acceptable emotion

So much this. I had several opportunities as a teen that were never even discussed but shot down immediately. A trip to Greece for $400 with my class (better believe I would try to scrape that money together for my kids), an invitation to study abroad and the big one, admittance into art school my junior year of highschool. My mom never wanted me to succeed or have anything better than she ever had and she pulled opportunities out from under me any chance she had. I even won "sweetheart" at a Valentine's dance at church as a kid, I was so thrilled then because I never won a thing. In the car on the way home she told me about a lady who said I was very rude to her when she said I looked pretty. I couldn't then recall anything close to this situation , she called me a liar and made me feel awful. It wasn't until much later in life that I realized she was the liar.

Oh yes. Recognize this one.

I still apologize to the wall when I bump into it.

Or they'll find out who you are

When your valid feelings are dismissed with the words, "You've got to be better than that."

i like hugs. but one of my friends constantly calls me her favorite, and is very affectionate, and i get very confused. like, why me??

Yes as a student nurse there were some really basic things I didn't know. Like where adults use talc powder. *arm pits and groin.

I'm the youngest and I constantly tried to save my older sister. From her drug addictions, from the poverty, from her abusive husband.....and so on. It was *all* my fault.

My mother first worked a lot so I stepped up to take care of my siblings and the housework. Then she decided she was done with the whole parent thing right after puberty. Ya know when you still need your parents but in different ways. Perhaps if she did not check out I would not have been so keen on that drug life. Perhaps then i would not have had to go through so much strife learning hard lessons without guidance. Alas, my life is as it was so I could be who I am today. The parenting my siblings got(or did not get) helped us to be great parents to our own children. I am good with that and hold no grudges. I have a good relationship with her now. Still none with my pops but that's a story for another time.

Or you feel guilty because you didn't ... you left instead to save yourself. It still bothers me.

Unfortunately, both of my 2 sisters learned quickly that i was always the scared, cowardly & ‘unnaturally sensitive’ one and they were happy to take cues from my parents’ F.U. forms of discipline by bullying me and making me take the blame for any/everything when something broke, or ate something that was my Dad’s, or got in trouble, etc., and no one admitted to the ‘crime’; that’s when we all 3 heard… “one of U better Admit U did it or All 3 of U will be whipped….go up to your room and U have 5 mins to come back down w/the culprit!”—> wtf kind of parenting IS that?!🤦🏻 I always knew not to count on comfort or advocacy from either of my siblings. I’ve have no relationship w/either in many years. :(

it depends on how mad I was, sometimes I just hid and waited for it to be over and felt guilty afterwards

My older sister is like this and we still talk about our sh##ty childhood in our late 70s.

I was separated from my brother at age 8 by cps and they had no choice but to place us back together because i had become a danger to not just myself but to others from my break downs I handled it better when I was about 15 or 16 cause we were placed at a ranch and he decided he wanted to go home didn't last long but still when I found out I cried and I was with another family member over this home visit and my uncle was mad the next chapel service was right out of break hadn't seen him since the 2nd day of break so about a week and asked my house parent if he could sit with us but before I could get it out I turned and sat back down and cried again

She's on her own.

My mother's golf game was cancelled due to rain and I got yelled at because it was MY fault! As an adult, I turned this into a big joke. If friends are having an outdoor event, I say ' remember nice to me or I'll make it rain'. I take credit for inclement weather even though I know I have no control over it. - - - - - Wink. - - - - - - Really I don't.

because you saw your parents doing the same; in more serious cases, anyone else.

Yep. I've told my friends "funny stories" of times when my mom cut me with kitchen knives, or times when she'd hit me only below the neck so that "no one would see the bruises", or how funny it was that when I was small and light, she'd throw me across the room and into the walls. My friends would be all O_O; and then hug me.

I was 18 and planning to move out, when my dad had an accident that resulted in a catastrophic brain injury. He had such extensive brain damage that he was bedridden, could not speak/communicate or understand, had to wear diapers, and had to have a feeding tube installed. My mother refused to hire professional caregivers for him, so I was his primary caregiver for the next 21 years (he died last year). I never moved out. My dad was a wonderful person and a great father, so I willingly cared for him because I loved him, but it was pretty awful that my mother assumed that well OF COURSE I'd stay living at home and take care of him so that she could go to the casinos/on vacation whenever she wanted.

What are boundaries? Had to learn about them from a psychologist.

And taking far too many pills and alcohol just to stop thinking about it all.

I'm not into Disney specifically, but I'm 40 and I still buy stuffed animals for myself quite often.

Heyyyyyy. This is me 100%. Also never giving any life lessons, like don't lose your virginity to someone who shows you romantic affection for the first time! (Or ever teaching me about sex. Still yet to be taught, they still think I'm a virgin.)

Oh boy

Hearing the phrase " when life hands you lemons,make lemonade" is the most repeated and worthless platitude I've ever heard.makes me want to choke the ever loving s**t out of the person who says it.