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Man Refuses To Take Time Off And Watch Kids While Wife Is Sick, She Finally Loses It
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Man Refuses To Take Time Off And Watch Kids While Wife Is Sick, She Finally Loses It

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We all know that parenting is the one job you can never take a day off from. Even when your kids are on summer holiday, or when it’s your birthday, or when you’re sick in bed with the flu, the role of being a mom or dad must be filled. Having a partner parent is usually helpful when it comes to dividing up responsibilities, but that only works if both parties are willing to help out. And unfortunately, some parents seem to be more dedicated to their jobs than their children…

Below, you’ll find a story that one frustrated mom recently shared on MumsNet asking if she was being unreasonable for expecting her partner to take care of their children while she was ill. You can also read some of the responses readers have left her and decide for yourself how you would have responded to this infuriating situation. Then, if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article discussing how moms never seem to get a break, check out this story next!

This frustrated mom is wondering if it was too much to ask for her partner to take time off to watch their kids while she was ill

Image credits: Polina Tankilevitch (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Image credits: Songbird54321

Moms are superheroes in the way that they can do it all, but they shouldn’t have to. They’re still human beings who deserve days off to rest and relax, and they certainly should be given a break when they’re ill. Being a single parent is even more challenging, but if you have a partner, there’s no reason why they shouldn’t be able to adjust their schedule to help out when their partner is sick. But apparently, it’s quite common for moms to be stuck caring for their kids, regardless of the situation.

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According to The Atlantic, moms are 10 times more likely to skip work to care for an ill child than dads are. And in this particular case, where a mother, and at least one of her kids, is sick, she still became responsible for either watching the kids herself, or finding someone else to care for them. Now, in some countries, like the United States, it can be even more challenging to navigate these situations because it’s extremely unlikely that a company will allow parents paid leave to care for their kids. In 2021, 47% of working moms in the US reported needing to take unpaid sick days to take care of their children, including 60% of lower-income moms and 75% of moms who work part-time.

But if this situation took place in the United Kingdom, parents may have more rights. “As a working parent you have the right to take reasonable time off to deal with a domestic emergency, which includes when your child is ill, and you need time to make alternative arrangements for their care,” writes Trades Union Congress on their site. “Around a quarter of working parents use this right each year. Talk to your boss as soon as a problem arises, giving them a reason for the absence and how long you expect to be away. Your employer may pay you, but they don’t have to.”

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They even note that the burden should always be shared between parents. “Remember that both parents are entitled to time off to look after ill children, so it should not be assumed that mothers will drop everything while fathers carry on as usual. Dads can request time off work to look after their children too.”

In fact, according to Citizens Advice UK, all workers have the right to take time off to care for anyone who is a “dependent” of them, including their children and their spouse or partner. And while it may not be paid unless their contract specifies that it will be, they are entitled to take these days off. 

There’s really no reason why this father could not have prioritized his partner and decided to take a day or two off to watch their children while she was ill. The last thing we ever want to do is make our loved ones’ lives harder, so you would expect a dad to jump at the opportunity to care for his family. We would love to hear your thoughts on this topic in the comments below, pandas. Have you ever struggled to get days off to take care of your kids or spouse, or does your country allow paid days off for these purposes?

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Many readers assured the mom that she was being reasonable

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However, others were less sympathetic and told her to accept that this is just part of being  parent

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Adelaide Ross

Adelaide Ross

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about two years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.

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Adelaide Ross

Adelaide Ross

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about two years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.

Ilona Baliūnaitė

Ilona Baliūnaitė

Author, BoredPanda staff

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I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda since 2017. I've searched through a multitude of images to create over 2000 diverse posts on a wide range of topics. I love memes, funny, and cute stuff, but I'm also into social issues topics. Despite my background in communication, my heart belongs to visual media, especially photography. When I'm not at my desk, you're likely to find me in the streets with my camera, checking out cool exhibitions, watching a movie at the cinema or just chilling with a coffee in a cozy place

Read less »

Ilona Baliūnaitė

Ilona Baliūnaitė

Author, BoredPanda staff

I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda since 2017. I've searched through a multitude of images to create over 2000 diverse posts on a wide range of topics. I love memes, funny, and cute stuff, but I'm also into social issues topics. Despite my background in communication, my heart belongs to visual media, especially photography. When I'm not at my desk, you're likely to find me in the streets with my camera, checking out cool exhibitions, watching a movie at the cinema or just chilling with a coffee in a cozy place

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BlackestDawn
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What I get from all the "nay-sayers" is that it's not fine to make the work harder for the father's colleagues but it is perfectly fine doing it for the mother's colleagues, and that his job, career, income, and so on is much more important than hers. Absolutely despicable.

Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We need a couple bits of context for this one, like which of them makes more money? Wouldn’t it be funny if SHE made twice as much as he does, but he’s acting like he’s the main breadwinner who can’t take a day off to care for kids who are HIS too, while his wife is too sick to do it herself—-not to mention trying to avoid passing her flu on to THEIR child, which could end up even worse.

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manowce
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

single parents' comments are the worst. yes, you have to do it alone because you're a single parent, and that sucks, but she's not! she's not supposed to "toughen it up" and suffer. marriage is teamwork, and you're supposed to help each other out.

Shark Lady
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with you completely. I'm a single parent but my situation doesn't mean that I have it better or worse than someone else. If I had a husband I would expect him to be a parent when I was too ill to do it myself, you are supposed to support each other in a relationship, even more so when children come into the picture.

Load More Replies...
I Am John
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh man. Its both parents equal responsibility to look after the kids. She's not taken a day off to watch the kids, its to be unwell. 100% Dads responsibility to ask for time off work. Also, some of these comments about making other people at works life harder. That's just sick corporate brainwashing.

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BlackestDawn
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What I get from all the "nay-sayers" is that it's not fine to make the work harder for the father's colleagues but it is perfectly fine doing it for the mother's colleagues, and that his job, career, income, and so on is much more important than hers. Absolutely despicable.

Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We need a couple bits of context for this one, like which of them makes more money? Wouldn’t it be funny if SHE made twice as much as he does, but he’s acting like he’s the main breadwinner who can’t take a day off to care for kids who are HIS too, while his wife is too sick to do it herself—-not to mention trying to avoid passing her flu on to THEIR child, which could end up even worse.

Load More Replies...
manowce
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

single parents' comments are the worst. yes, you have to do it alone because you're a single parent, and that sucks, but she's not! she's not supposed to "toughen it up" and suffer. marriage is teamwork, and you're supposed to help each other out.

Shark Lady
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with you completely. I'm a single parent but my situation doesn't mean that I have it better or worse than someone else. If I had a husband I would expect him to be a parent when I was too ill to do it myself, you are supposed to support each other in a relationship, even more so when children come into the picture.

Load More Replies...
I Am John
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh man. Its both parents equal responsibility to look after the kids. She's not taken a day off to watch the kids, its to be unwell. 100% Dads responsibility to ask for time off work. Also, some of these comments about making other people at works life harder. That's just sick corporate brainwashing.

Load More Comments
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