“No Apology Has Been Offered”: Woman Cuts Sister And Her Toxic Family Out Of Her Life

You can’t choose your family, but you have a say in your relationships with them. A few days ago, Reddit user Fokaifemme shared her story on r/AITAH, detailing the fallout with her sister. For a long time, her sons had been bullied and harassed by their cousin and her friends in a deeply hurtful way. Despite the mom’s efforts to address the issue, her sibling met her with dismissal, and there was no resolution. Faced with a lack of accountability, the woman made the difficult decision to set firm boundaries—sparking years of tension that have recently reached a boiling point. So, she asked the internet to help her make sense of the whole ordeal.

Choosing family over family can be one of the most painful decisions a person has to make

Person with head in hands, expressing family conflict emotions.

Image credits: Daniel Martinez/Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Especially when others feel like they can pressure you into making one decision or another

Text discussing family conflict over a wedding invitation, involving exclusion due to past incidents.

Text image about family conflict and declining a wedding invitation over dismissing an issue.

Text discussing family conflict over sister's behavior and wedding invitation refusal.

Text describing a family conflict after a racist comment and the decision to distance from a sister.

Child sitting on a bed looking pensive, contemplating family issues.

Image credits: Media_photos/Envato(not the actual photo)

Text message about unresolved issues and lack of response regarding sister's wedding invitation.

Text discussing family boundary issues and a decision to decline a sister's wedding invitation.

Text about sibling conflict over wedding invitation and family boundaries.

Text excerpt about lack of apology and family conflict after an incident.

Text questioning family decision and being labeled harsh; relates to wedding invitation and family dynamics.

As her story went viral, the woman provided more context on her family’s situation

Text screenshot about being a mom and limited Reddit time, discussing daily schedule adjustments.

Text about family pressure and dealing with daily exhaustion.

Text recounts family issues and boundaries after a parent takes kids to sister's without permission.

Text discussing avoidance of family gatherings after conflict with sister.

Text about family relationships and avoiding sister's wedding invitation.

A woman sits on a bed, covering her face with her hands, expressing emotion related to family conflict and a wedding invitation.

Image credits: Curated Lifestyle/Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Text revealing family pressure and conflict over wedding invitation decision.

Text about setting family boundaries during a sister's wedding.

Text about family conflict, decision, and community support.

Text about using AI for structuring posts and reducing emotional content.

Image credits: fokaifemme

Around 29% of Americans are in a similar position as the woman

Family estrangement—the process by which family members become strangers to one another—is still somewhat taboo, but, that’s changing.

While there is no irrefutable data on whether estrangements are increasing or decreasing, some experts suggest that, with celebrities sharing their experiences, others may feel more comfortable divulging their own family struggles too.

“Families have always been complicated, and now we’re talking about it more,” says Lucy Blake, PhD, a senior lecturer in psychology at the University of the West of England in Bristol and author of the book No Family Is Perfect: A Guide to Embracing the Messy Reality.

People dealing with estrangement have been found to benefit from therapy in specific ways, including receiving warmth, validation, and safety, which may have been missing in their previous relationships; addressing the causes and resulting fallout from their estrangement; and also working on their relationship skills.

"No Apology Has Been Offered": Woman Cuts Sister And Her Toxic Family Out Of Her Life

Image credits: Nini FromParis/Unsplash (not the actual photo)

One poll of over 11,000 Americans conducted in 2022 found that more than one in four Americans — 29% — report being estranged from an immediate family member, including siblings, parents, children, or grandparents. This number is slightly higher for men, with 31% reporting estrangement compared to 27% of women.

Also, people between the ages of 30 and 44 are the most likely age group analyzed to report estrangement from a family member, possibly because they are more likely to have family members in each of these categories.

Sexual orientation also appears to be a factor, with higher rates of estrangement reported by gay men (49%), lesbian women (55%), and bisexual people (38%) compared to heterosexuals (27%).

Whether or not you agree with the author of the post, at least the silver lining is that she’s taking a proactive approach to protect her children and work out the disagreements she’s been having with her relatives.

The mom also has addressed some of the questions people have had about the conflict

Reddit comments discussing family conflict and wedding invitation issues.

Reddit comments discussing family conflicts and sibling favoritism.

Reddit conversation discussing family conflict and wedding invitation dilemma.

Reddit AITA discussion about declining a sister’s wedding invitation due to family conflicts.

The majority expressed full support for her

Reddit comment discussing why someone should not attend a sister's wedding invitation.

Reddit comment criticizing a grandmother, questioning her actions towards her grandchild.

Comment discussing family and addressing children's behavior, mentioning a sister's responsibility and immaturity.

Text comment discussing family conflict and advice to block sister.

Reddit comment discussing family dynamics and accountability in a "AITAH" situation.

Reddit comment discussing family conflict and wedding invitation refusal.

Reddit comment discussing declining a wedding invitation due to family issues.

Text discussing family issues and wedding invitation, addressing racism and colorism in the Hispanic community.

Comment about shutting sister out, advising to involve police if niece harms child again.

Text post discussing family disagreements and protection for kids, with a focus on refusing wedding invitations.

Text discussion about family dynamics and wedding invitation issues.

Comment supporting family boundary decision against sister's actions.

Reddit comment supporting someone declining a wedding invitation to protect family boundaries.

Text reflecting family conflict over visiting rights after a wedding invitation was declined.

Reddit comment advising on family boundaries and wedding invitation refusal.

Text discussing blocking family over abuse issues, refusing sister’s wedding invitation.

Text post discussing family boundaries and protecting kids from harm.

Reddit post discussing family conflict and a wedding invitation, emphasizing protecting kids from toxic relatives.

Comment discussing family issues and wedding invitation decision.

Reddit comment discussing family conflict, bullying experiences, and decisions about a sister's wedding invite.

Reddit comment discussing family conflict over a wedding invitation.

Text exchange discussing family dynamics and children's safety.

Reddit comment discussing family issues and advice on cutting ties with a sister after an incident.

Text from a user discussing shutting out sister for family's well-being in an online forum.

Online comment about family issues and wedding invitation.

Reddit comment discussing family conflict and boundaries regarding a sister's actions.

But some have been critical

Reddit comment criticizing decision to cut sister out of family and not the mom.

Comment suggesting to cut family ties, related to wedding invitation.

Comment showing disapproval of someone for shutting a sister out of family life, related to a wedding invitation.

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Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

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I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda since 2017. I've searched through a multitude of images to create over 2000 diverse posts on a wide range of topics. I love memes, funny, and cute stuff, but I'm also into social issues topics. Despite my background in communication, my heart belongs to visual media, especially photography. When I'm not at my desk, you're likely to find me in the streets with my camera, checking out cool exhibitions, watching a movie at the cinema or just chilling with a coffee in a cozy place

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What do you think ?

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Alexandra 5 hours ago

I will cut everyone out of my life, without any consideration at all, if they harm my son and don't take accountability for it. It's high time people stopped 'keeping the peace', 'be the bigger person' or 'think of the family' in order to cover up bigotry, hatred, racism, misogyny and all the other evils mankind can come up with.

15points

LonelyLittleLeafSheep 14 minutes ago

I already did and it was the best thing I ever did. Full NC with my racist, misogynistic sperm donor and judgemental "golden " siblings, and very LC with the egg donor (text messages onky two or three times a year). When family is toxic it's a relief to be free of them.

0points

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FreeTheUnicorn 5 hours ago

Any other course of action devalues her son. Without contrition, you just can't go back, if family understands this or not.

8points

Bette 5 hours ago

The people to whom you might be related by blood or marriage does not make them "family". Your true family are those people who love you unconditionally, want only the best for you, defend you always , and support you. As a parent, defending your children against abusers always comes first.

5points

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