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“[Am I The Jerk] For Showing My Husband The Text His Mom Sent Me And Causing Her To Be Disowned?”
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“[Am I The Jerk] For Showing My Husband The Text His Mom Sent Me And Causing Her To Be Disowned?”

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As you probably know, Shakespeare believed that “for never was a story of more woe than this of Juliet and her Romeo”. Of course, the great playwright was 100% right, because it is incredibly sad when young lovers tragically pass away, unable to cope with their own families’ prejudice against each other.

But let’s imagine that everything ended differently, and Romeo and Juliet still got married? Then, it is likely that their story would have gone in a completely different way, but it could have become no less sad – after all, relatives would not have gone anywhere, Juliet would have had to face Lady Montague in everyday life, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law often becomes a source for many family dramas.

For example, as it happened to user u/throwaway-text2, who about a year ago shared her own story of confrontation with her husband’s mother on the AITA Reddit community – and this take is very sad as well. As of today, the original post has received 25.5K upvotes and roughly 3.1K different comments, so let’s try to figure out this family drama together.

More info: Reddit

The author of the post didn’t get along with her mother-in-law despite multiple attempts to change her attitude

Image credits: David365 (not the actual photo)

So, the author of the original post honestly admits that she could not find any common language with her husband’s mom. Somehow, the relationship between the two women did not work out, despite the fact that the Original Poster says that she tried more than once to change her MIL’s attitude towards her. But, alas, by the time this story began, the women simply didn’t like each other.

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Image credits: throwaway-text2

The author was a new mom so she refused to eat what her MIL cooked for dinner one day, but the lady took it personally

That day, it all started with the OP refusing to eat what her MIL had cooked for dinner. Not because she treated her badly, but just recently she had given birth to a baby, and new mothers can eat far from everything they want. One might ask who, if not the mother-in-law, does not know this – after all, she was also a mom herself! But it was not so.

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Image credits: throwaway-text2

Apparently, for some reason, the MIL took it personally, so she could not find anything better than to write to her daughter-in-law everything that she thought about her. And these thoughts were extremely offensive and negative. The OP’s husband’s mother stated that she simply “knows and feels her passive aggressive vibe”, was offended that she considered her cooking “unhygienic”, and after that, she smoothly moved on to direct insults.

"[Am I The Jerk] For Showing My Husband The Text His Mom Sent Me And Causing Her To Be Disowned?"

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Image credits: throwaway-text2

The MIL sent several messages insulting the woman and claiming she’s a gold digger

So, according to the MIL’s words, the OP had forgotten the last time she stood in front of the mirror and combed her hair, trying to justify her condition as a new mom. The mother-in-law also stated that the woman had simply trapped her son and now wanted to use their baby as a pawn. However, as she also stated, her son still has chats with his ex every chance he gets.

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Image credits: throwaway-text2

“Be mean to his mommy,” the OP’s mother-in-law continued, “and you’ll see how far that gets you.” And it all ended with the woman insulting the author’s dog in every possible way, claiming that it stinks, constantly barks and leaves hair everywhere after shedding. In other words, the mother-in-law went through literally everything so dear to the OP, and it is not surprising that the woman, being completely devastated by all this, showed her husband these messages from his mother.

Image credits: throwaway-text2

The author was extremely upset so she just showed these abusive messages to her husband

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Further events unfolded instantly. The man literally went ballistic at his mom, tried to call her, but could not get through, so just went to her house. As the OP’s sisters-in-law later told her, the family confrontation turned out to be completely ugly. The son poured insults at his mother and ended up publicly disowning her.

Image credits: throwaway-text2

The man ended up disowning his mother so she fainted on the spot and was taken to the hospital

Hearing this, the MIL fainted (as the author of the post says, she was diabetic), but the son was so angry that he did not even try to help her and simply left the house. The woman was taken to the hospital, and her relatives began to blame the OP for this – they said if she had not shown these messages to her husband, nothing would have happened. Yes, and family relations also remained tense. As a result, the wife was completely upset that she was insulted and her own attempt to defend herself caused a new flurry of attacks.

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Image credits:  United Tires (not the actual photo)

An expert thinks that the mom just isn’t ready to “let go” of her adult son and this mainly caused the problem

“Of course, there can be practically no complaints about the wife here,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, who was asked by Bored Panda to comment on this story. “Most questions are raised by the MIL’s behavior. Such cases, however, are far from isolated – when a mother is not ready to ‘let go’ of her adult son, she tries to ‘share’ him with his wife. And this usually does not end in anything good.”

“Moreover, this is probably not the first relationship that the mother of the OP’s husband has tried to destroy – consciously or not, because the author mentioned that her husband has an ex. However, the man also, apparently, put himself in such a way that gives his mom a reason to ‘fight’ for him, to manipulate him. Be that as it may, the wife here simply tried to defend herself – but relations in the family were already quite toxic,” states Irina Matveeva.

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Most of the commenters believe that the woman did the right thing to make her MIL face the consequences of her own hatefulness

Many people in the comments to the original post agree with the expert. According to the commenters, the woman did the right thing by showing the messages to her husband – after all, it was a very disturbing text. Moreover, people suspect that the mother-in-law just fainted deliberately, trying to manipulate her son – after all, as one of the commenters wrote, their son is also diabetic, but he has never fainted from being confronted.

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Image credits: keith ellwood (not the actual photo)

People also assume that the mother-in-law was trying to abuse the Original Poster and get away with it, which is completely unacceptable. The woman did the right thing showing her MIL’s little hate manifesto to the husband, so his mom had to experience the consequences of her own hatefulness. She caused herself to be disowned, most of the commenters believe.

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Be that as it may, many people have a lot of skeletons in their family closets, so here’s another collection of some family secrets, gloomy and not so. In the meantime, as always, we are waiting for your comments on this particular tale, so please feel free to leave them below the post.

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Oleg Tarasenko

Oleg Tarasenko

Author, BoredPanda staff

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After many years of working as sports journalist and trivia game author and host in Ukraine I joined Bored Panda as a content creator. I do love writing stories and I sincerely believe - there's no dull plots at all. Like a great Italian composer Joaquino Rossini once told: "Give me a police protocol - and I'll make an opera out of it!"

Read less »
Oleg Tarasenko

Oleg Tarasenko

Author, BoredPanda staff

After many years of working as sports journalist and trivia game author and host in Ukraine I joined Bored Panda as a content creator. I do love writing stories and I sincerely believe - there's no dull plots at all. Like a great Italian composer Joaquino Rossini once told: "Give me a police protocol - and I'll make an opera out of it!"

Saulė Tolstych

Saulė Tolstych

Author, Community member

Read more »

Saulė is a photo editor at Bored Panda with bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design. The thing that relaxes her the best is going into YouTube rabbit hole. In her free time she loves painting, embroidering and taking walks in nature.

Read less »

Saulė Tolstych

Saulė Tolstych

Author, Community member

Saulė is a photo editor at Bored Panda with bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design. The thing that relaxes her the best is going into YouTube rabbit hole. In her free time she loves painting, embroidering and taking walks in nature.

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ZeroCapacity
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The dog abuse is enough for me to want to kick this woman in the nards. If she did not want the text to get back to her son she should not have sent it. The fainting thing is probably made up s**t, but could be caused by underlying conditions of diabetes. The fact the husband did what he thought was right I applaud. People like his Mom need a reality check and he gave it to her.

BluEyedSeoulite
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There would be no coming back from this if OP was me. My kids have never met their last remaining grandparent and as far as they know, he's dead. If the entire family is sticking up for that hate filled cow, they can stay with her

John
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Someone thought they could dish out the dirt but found they couldn't handle the consequences. Whatever happens next is the MIL's own fault. the SIL response of keeping it between OP and MIL is same logic that lets an abuser continues their abuse.

Groundcontroltomajortom
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

SIL's sound as bad as their mother and are probably being manipulated by the matriarch of the family. I'd be very very careful if I were OP!

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ZeroCapacity
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The dog abuse is enough for me to want to kick this woman in the nards. If she did not want the text to get back to her son she should not have sent it. The fainting thing is probably made up s**t, but could be caused by underlying conditions of diabetes. The fact the husband did what he thought was right I applaud. People like his Mom need a reality check and he gave it to her.

BluEyedSeoulite
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There would be no coming back from this if OP was me. My kids have never met their last remaining grandparent and as far as they know, he's dead. If the entire family is sticking up for that hate filled cow, they can stay with her

John
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Someone thought they could dish out the dirt but found they couldn't handle the consequences. Whatever happens next is the MIL's own fault. the SIL response of keeping it between OP and MIL is same logic that lets an abuser continues their abuse.

Groundcontroltomajortom
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

SIL's sound as bad as their mother and are probably being manipulated by the matriarch of the family. I'd be very very careful if I were OP!

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