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Are you looking for terrible and completely useless life tips? Then you've come to the right place! Bored Panda has compiled a list of the crappiest advice ever.
Some of them come from a sub-Reddit called /r/ShittyLifeProTips, and while they won't actually help you to achieve much, they are at least useful when it comes to making us laugh. From using ketchup as a bookmark to saving yourself precious time by adding toothpaste to meals, these "pro" life tips are sure to put a smile on your face while completely failing to help you in any practical way. Don't forget to vote for your favorite!
P.S.: These tips are a joke and may be dangerous, don't try them yourself!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Use A Toilet Seat To Put Your Plate On While Watching TV
RELATED:
#2
Take A Selfie Through A Toilet Roll Tube And Pretend You're The Moon
#3
Spray Your Headphones With Some "Johnson's No More Tangles" When They Are Tangled
#4
Cut Your Tennis Balls In Half To Store Two More Balls In Each Can, Saving Space
#5
Sneak A Chocolate Into American Movie Theatres With This Trick
#6
Use This Vest Protect Your Personal Space On The Subway
Rob LeBlanc 7 years ago
Wearing a surgical mask and occasionally coughing guarantees added personal space for my NYC subway rides. ;)
#7
Use The Metal Part Of Your Seat Belt To Open Beers While Driving
#8
Magnify Your Phone's Screen By Putting It In A Glass Of Water
#9
Keep Cake Moist By Eating It All In One Sitting
#10
Don't Buy New Socks. Use A Permanent Marker Instead
Amanda Panda 7 years ago
I've done this to my elbow, had a tiny hole in my black cardigan, was in a hurry, quick fix. Also, life hack: use rubbing alcohol to get permanent marker off :)
#11
Put Your New Tv Box On Your Neighbor's Side So You Wouldn't Get Robbed
#12
Use Laptop Chargers To Heat Snacks Up
#13
Put A Bean Filled Glove On Your Baby's Back When You Want Your Kids To Feel Loved, But You're Too Tired
#14
Impress Your Guests And Reduce Clutter With This Simple Tip
#15
Tired Of Ironing Your Shirts? Get Fat And Watch Those Creases Vanish
#16
If You See Someone Crying, Ask If It Is Because Of Their Haircut
#17
Stop Tears In The Kitchen With This Life Hack
Amanda Panda 7 years ago
lol in all seriousness, I use eye goggles (cheap ones from the dollar store). I may look ridiculous, but I can get through cutting several onions without tears and burning eyes. Nothing else has worked better than goggles!
#18
Save Time By Adding Toothpaste To Your Food
#19
Use This Tip When You Want To Take A S**t Discretely
#20
Use Duct Tape And Fork When There's No Spoon In The Office
#21
Use Your Hood As A Bowl For Popcorns
Kawaii Lemon 7 years ago
Added bonus: No need for perfume, you'll smell great! (Because who DOESN'T love the smell of popcorn?!)
#22
Use Your Phones When You Put Too Much Water In Your Rice
#23
Use This Tip If You Are A Student
#24
Use Your Cat To Clean Your Floors And Save On Expensive Store-Bought Cleaners
#25
Plug A Surge Protector Into Itself For Infinite Power
#26
Use This Go Go Gadget On A Sunny Day Out For A Hands Free Experience
#27
Just Add Water For A Quick And Easy Pasta
#28
Save Money With This Life Hack
#29
Check If You Are Colorblind With This Useful Image
#30
Eat For Free For The Rest Of Your Life
#31
Reverse Your Window A/C Unit Like So To Save On A Costly Heating. It's Also Good For The Environment Because It Cools The Outside, Reducing Global Warming
#32
Use This Hack When Your Car Heater Doesn't Work
#33
Use Shopping Cart As A Backyard Grill
#34
Use A Fork In Case You Haven't Mastered Chopsticks Yet
#35
Put A Plastic Bag Over Your Head To Make You Pass Out So Work Feels Shorter
#36
Buy As Many Tickets As You Can Afford
#37
If You're Up Really Late Studying For Finals, Try Swapping Your Contact Solution With Coffee For A Quick Pick-Me-Up
Zombie Gurl 7 years ago
My cousin did that, he was sent to the hospital. Been blind for three weeks
#38
Suicidal? Buy Yourself A Bright New Pair Of Nikes To Cheer Yourself Up
#39
Use Ketchup As A Bookmark
#40
Save Your Time When Working With Electric By Using This Tip
#41
Use Ruler For This Life Hack
Paul K. Johnson 7 years ago
Reminds me of Homer: "I'm late. Just give me a banana." Then he peels it, takes the banana out of the peel, stuffs the peel full of bacon and walks out the door.
Jonathan Bendickson 7 years ago
That's not a ruler it's a speed square. I don't get it either.
Nicolas “Ben Mcprt” Forthewin 7 years ago
level of absurdity is really high here & i love that !
Leslie Gaston-Bird 7 years ago
This person gets me. If I wasn't married I would propose to you. Do you like Ween, too? Jesus Christ. What has me gasping for air is that at the end the bread is just ripped in two pieces. Ahhhhhhhhhh hahahaha
Zeynep Özçelik 7 years ago
I really don't understand why others didn't get it. IT IS OBVIOUSLY A BANANA HOLDER
#42
Mix 2 Tbs Lemon Juice, 2 Tbs Vinegar, And 3 Tbs Salt, Then Apply It To Open Cuts And Scrapes Using A Clean Toothbrush As A Safe And Natural Antibiotic
#43
Use A Shopping Cart As A Shelf If You Have No Money For The Furnishings
#44
Spilt Coffee On Your Pants And Don't Want To Look Like A Clumsy Dork? Just Soak Your Pants In A Tub Of Coffee So They Turn Into A Uniform Color Again
#45
Sign All Of Your Blank Checks Now To Save Time Writing Future Checks
#46
Use These To Make Your Car Stop Beeping
#47
Use The Money That's Always In The Banana Stand To Get Dinner When You Are Broke
#48
Put Your Bolognese Into The Washing Machine If What You Really Wanted Was Carbonara
#49
Use This Trick To Make Teacher Think You Are Studying While You're Eating Spaghetti
#50
Don't Waste Money On A Can Of Air, Just Wash Your Dusty Motherboard With Your Dishes
#51
Secure Your Lunch With A Padlock
#52
Use Old Keyboard When You Are Short Of Hangers
#53
Use A Raw Chicken Breast To Pick Up Crumbs And Dust From Hard To Reach Areas
#54
Release Ants Into Your Toaster To Remove Bread Crumbs That Accumulate At The Bottom Which Can Pose A Fire Hazard
#55
Use Windshield Wiper Fluid As A "Universal Fluid" For Break Fluid, Engine Oil, Power Steering Or Just Splash Some On Your Car For A Quick Car-Wash (Major Car Companies Don't Want You To Know This)
#56
Turn One Cigarette Upside Down And Smoke It Last
Tiny Dynamine 7 years ago
Millions of people would actually believe this. They all voted for Trump coincidentally.
#57
Use This Tip For A Quick And Easy Breakfast
#58
Keep Cleaning Supplies And Other Useful Household Items On The Bottom Shelves So You Can Ask A Small Child To Get It For You In A Pinch
#59
Use Your Belly Button To Hold Your Jelly Beans
#60
Change Your Iphone 5s Color Within Seconds
#61
Peel A Banana And Put It Through The Hole On Your Bagel To Create A Bananagel
#62
Money Tip
#63
Water Cool Your Computer When It's Running Too Hot To Keep The Temperatures Down
#64
Use A High-Powered Box Fan And Funnel To Quickly Paint Interior Walls
Zori the degu 7 years ago
This should only be done for colour refreshing (and should be kept as a "professional" secret)
#65
Put Earplugs In Your Nose To Make It Harder To Breathe
#66
Replace A Broken Ring Of The Shower Curtain With This Easy Hack
#67
Make Homemade Wet Wipes By Soaking Toilet Paper Under Warm Water
#68
When You Break A Glass In The Kitchen, Press The Inner Fleshy Part Of Your Hand Against The Floor To Pick Up The Tiniest Glass Shards That Your Broom And Vacuum Leave Behind
#69
Put A Can Of Beer Between Your Legs When There Is No Beer Holder In Your Car
#70
Access iPhone 7 Headphone Jack With This Simple Hack
Cheryl Birkhimer 7 years ago
Thanks for the exact mm sizing tip. I've been trying to get the correct size for a week.
#71
Put Dried Oak Chips Directly On The Elements Of Your Electric Oven To Give Chicken And Other Meats A Delicious Smokey Flavor While They Cook
#72
Roll Your Window Down, Put A Six Pack Of Beer On It And Roll It Back Up To Keep Half Your Beer Cold On Your Commute To Work
#73
Add An Extra 1-2 PSI To The Driver Side Front Tire When Inflating Your Tires, Because That's The One That Has To Support Your Fat Ass
#74
Pray Yourself In The Eyes With Windex To Quickly Clean Your Contacts Without The Hassle Of Removing Them
#75
Use A Hair Dryer To Preheat A Pizza If You Don't Have A Microwave
#76
Use Plastic Wrap As A Waterproof Phone Case
Rachael Piotte 7 years ago
Ziploc bag works better because there aren't any seams for the water to seep through like plastic wrap. My sister uses it all the time, it works.
#77
Use An Extension Cord To Maximize The Length When Phone Charger Is Too Short To Reach The Outlet
#78
Never Buy Dental Floss Again! Attach A Small Handle In The Middle Of The Dispenser And Use It To Retract The Floss After You Use It Instead Of Tearing Off A New Piece Each Time
jacluckycat 7 years ago
Added bonus: flavoured just like the chunks of food you already flossed out
#79
Use Knives To Hang Shit Without Damaging Anything
#80
Use This Life Hack And No One Will Know There Are Holes In Your Shoes
#81
Combine Bathroom Breaks And Lunch Breaks To Maximise Time Efficiency
#82
Marinate, Season, And Tenderize Your Steak All At The Same Time! Add One Cup Off Bbq, Teriyaki, Or Other Flavored Sauce To The Washing Machine, And Run Your Steaks On A Short No Rinse Cycle. Add Spices And Herbs To The Fabric Softener Dispenser For Added Flavor
Jespren Ray 7 years ago
I'm cringing thinking of some poor mom having to clean this message out of her dryer because their teenage saw it on Facebook and thought it would be a quick way to help with dinner.
#83
Collect The Gummy Catsup Gaskets That Form Around The Top Of The Lid And Put Them In School Lunches As A Healthy Alternative To Sugary Fruit Snacks. Plus They're Loaded With Vitamin C
#84
Use A Projector Instead Of Spilling Yoghurt Everywhere When Your Spoon Is Constantly Tipping Over Your Yoghurt Container
Cheryl Birkhimer 7 years ago
It's brilliant how seriously some people respond to all these great Martha Stewart- like tips.
Add New Image
What do you think ?
Edmund Winston 7 years ago
Thus reminds me of an incident at work. I'm security at a hotel, and we had a genius maid that decided to cut her work time in half by mixing all of her cleaning chemicals into one spray bottle. Guess who got to drag her unconcious body out into the hallway?
Doug Canning 6 years ago
Men... don’t buy expensive ribbed condoms, just put a handful of frozen peas into a regular condom before strapping it on!
Melanie Dains 7 years ago
#19 – The sign has “discreetly” spelled correctly, but you went ahead and used the wrong form of it anyway. (Discreetly means inconspicuously. Discretely means distinctly.) #20 – That’s clearly not duct tape, fool. #21 – Popcorn is already plural. That’s like saying you’re eating spaghettis or shrimps.
Joe Tanfani 7 years ago
S**t your wright. Did yu win a nobl pryze fur literatur? Ur so smart. I bet yu wUr even a Englis majur!!
Load More Replies...
Rory Bevis 7 years ago
View reddit threads on other websites so you can click through pages littered with annoying ads
Marybeth Porreca 2 years ago
They missed a tip--- ingesting or injecting disinfectant to get rid of Covid. Jeez, like he said; he's not a doctor but he has a good you-know-what.... Lawyer? Golf cart? IDFK
Pablo Sheldon 7 years ago
I've been so busy before that I had to eat lunch and c**p at the same time.
Charles Flannery 7 years ago
Furnace not working? Just build a campfire in the middle of your living room
Charles Flannery 7 years ago
I bet there are people out there that would actually do some of these. I once bought the "sight savers" eyeglass spray and laughed when I saw on the instructions "not for use on contact lenses". You would think that is common sense but guess not. Probably the same person that couldn't afford a lamp so they put their finger in an electrical socket and a light bulb in the other. Figured they'd get a free spiked hairdo as well.
Corey Henderson 7 years ago
I stopped everything after #10 because I was befuddled by the size of her feet!
Joe Allmond 7 years ago
In the 1960's we would have used the seat belt to open a beer! Easier than the bumper of a '57 Chevy or the edge of a table! beer-598e8...493c9a.jpg 
Undead Ladybug 7 years ago
The shopping cart shelf's actually kind of a cool idea, if you're into that kind of thing.
Harry Carter 7 years ago
Keep getting erections in public or in school? Bash one out there and then and you won't get any more for the rest of the day!
Harry Carter 7 years ago
Keep getting erections in public? Just bash one out there and then through your pocket and you won't get one for the rest of the day!
Nancy Fingerhood 7 years ago
A breast pillow may be in my (and your) future This revolutionary device prevents and reduces cleavage wrinkles. Apparently as we age, the wrinkles will creep further south and women will need a specialized pillow between their bosoms while sleeping. Otherwise bye-bye low cut shirts and push up bras. Hello turtlenecks and grandma bras. As a teenager, I couldn't wait to develop enough to show off my cleavage. Up until now people have been happy to see it. I've been contemplating entering a wet t-shirt contest in the near future while men still want to see my boobs. In a few years, they'll want me to put them away.
Nancy Fingerhood 7 years ago
Keep a diaper bag in your car Yes, the kids are at least potty trained by now. The diaper bag is for me. For those fun girls nights out when you are cracking jokes and laughing uncontrollably, severe leakage may occur. A hacking cough, repetitious sneezing and jumping around a lot may cause similar results
Arthur Vega 7 years ago
Protest human rights with as much vulgarity and indecency as possible to show how much you truly love and don't hate.
Brooke Weston 7 years ago
Okay, but #20 does sound like something some poor and desperate college students would do.
Karin Lynn Howard 7 years ago
These are great and if really stupid people do some and well...get dead...thats Darwinism
B Sheppard 7 years ago
Some of these are really just reaching for something to be funny that is not there. For instance: One talks about using Windex for all kinds of ridiculous s**t, yet, it just shows a picture of antifreeze being poured into a radiator...
Paulette Kershner 7 years ago
Did anyone make sure Obama got the tip on golfballa? He is stupid enough to fall for it.
Jamie Bull 7 years ago
Says the woman who can't spell golf balls. Or tell the difference between golf balls and tennis balls, even when they're labelled
Load More Replies...
Alan Aurmont 7 years ago
Some of these are so wrong on so many levels. Be careful what you joke about on the internet.
Natalie Blenkhorn 7 years ago
If someone is stupid enough to do one of the things here then they deserve something s****y happening to them!
Load More Replies...
Edmund Winston 7 years ago
Thus reminds me of an incident at work. I'm security at a hotel, and we had a genius maid that decided to cut her work time in half by mixing all of her cleaning chemicals into one spray bottle. Guess who got to drag her unconcious body out into the hallway?
Doug Canning 6 years ago
Men... don’t buy expensive ribbed condoms, just put a handful of frozen peas into a regular condom before strapping it on!
Melanie Dains 7 years ago
#19 – The sign has “discreetly” spelled correctly, but you went ahead and used the wrong form of it anyway. (Discreetly means inconspicuously. Discretely means distinctly.) #20 – That’s clearly not duct tape, fool. #21 – Popcorn is already plural. That’s like saying you’re eating spaghettis or shrimps.
Joe Tanfani 7 years ago
S**t your wright. Did yu win a nobl pryze fur literatur? Ur so smart. I bet yu wUr even a Englis majur!!
Load More Replies... Rory Bevis 7 years ago
View reddit threads on other websites so you can click through pages littered with annoying ads
Marybeth Porreca 2 years ago
They missed a tip--- ingesting or injecting disinfectant to get rid of Covid. Jeez, like he said; he's not a doctor but he has a good you-know-what.... Lawyer? Golf cart? IDFK
Pablo Sheldon 7 years ago
I've been so busy before that I had to eat lunch and c**p at the same time.
Charles Flannery 7 years ago
Furnace not working? Just build a campfire in the middle of your living room
Charles Flannery 7 years ago
I bet there are people out there that would actually do some of these. I once bought the "sight savers" eyeglass spray and laughed when I saw on the instructions "not for use on contact lenses". You would think that is common sense but guess not. Probably the same person that couldn't afford a lamp so they put their finger in an electrical socket and a light bulb in the other. Figured they'd get a free spiked hairdo as well.
Corey Henderson 7 years ago
I stopped everything after #10 because I was befuddled by the size of her feet!
Joe Allmond 7 years ago
In the 1960's we would have used the seat belt to open a beer! Easier than the bumper of a '57 Chevy or the edge of a table! beer-598e8...493c9a.jpg
Undead Ladybug 7 years ago
The shopping cart shelf's actually kind of a cool idea, if you're into that kind of thing.
Harry Carter 7 years ago
Keep getting erections in public or in school? Bash one out there and then and you won't get any more for the rest of the day!
Harry Carter 7 years ago
Keep getting erections in public? Just bash one out there and then through your pocket and you won't get one for the rest of the day!
Nancy Fingerhood 7 years ago
A breast pillow may be in my (and your) future This revolutionary device prevents and reduces cleavage wrinkles. Apparently as we age, the wrinkles will creep further south and women will need a specialized pillow between their bosoms while sleeping. Otherwise bye-bye low cut shirts and push up bras. Hello turtlenecks and grandma bras. As a teenager, I couldn't wait to develop enough to show off my cleavage. Up until now people have been happy to see it. I've been contemplating entering a wet t-shirt contest in the near future while men still want to see my boobs. In a few years, they'll want me to put them away.
Nancy Fingerhood 7 years ago
Keep a diaper bag in your car Yes, the kids are at least potty trained by now. The diaper bag is for me. For those fun girls nights out when you are cracking jokes and laughing uncontrollably, severe leakage may occur. A hacking cough, repetitious sneezing and jumping around a lot may cause similar results
Arthur Vega 7 years ago
Protest human rights with as much vulgarity and indecency as possible to show how much you truly love and don't hate.
Brooke Weston 7 years ago
Okay, but #20 does sound like something some poor and desperate college students would do.
Karin Lynn Howard 7 years ago
These are great and if really stupid people do some and well...get dead...thats Darwinism
B Sheppard 7 years ago
Some of these are really just reaching for something to be funny that is not there. For instance: One talks about using Windex for all kinds of ridiculous s**t, yet, it just shows a picture of antifreeze being poured into a radiator...
Paulette Kershner 7 years ago
Did anyone make sure Obama got the tip on golfballa? He is stupid enough to fall for it.
Jamie Bull 7 years ago
Says the woman who can't spell golf balls. Or tell the difference between golf balls and tennis balls, even when they're labelled
Load More Replies... Alan Aurmont 7 years ago
Some of these are so wrong on so many levels. Be careful what you joke about on the internet.
Natalie Blenkhorn 7 years ago
If someone is stupid enough to do one of the things here then they deserve something s****y happening to them!
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