Horoscopes usually regale us with glowing tales of future love, wealth, and prosperity. One artist, however, has a different interpretation of what the celestial bodies are trying to tell us, and it's a little less frilly.
Shitty Horoscopes is the brainchild of Toronto-based Amrit Brar, also known as 'Musterni.' Unfolding on Tumblr since 2015 and culminating in the recent release of a Kickstarter-funded 13-chapter book, the project turns the shortcomings and darker sides of each star sign into brief but poignant poems, accompanied by delightfully cool drawings of decorated skeletal remains. Brutally honest, yet instantly relatable, Brar's messages to horoscope signs read like a wine-induced 3 AM conversation with your best friend, which is probably why her Tumblr fans just keep demanding more and more of her creative ideas.
Scroll down, find your astrology sign, and have a laugh at the intricacies of our psyche that may or may not be influenced by the planets moving around us.
More info: Official Wesbite, Tumblr, Instagram
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Scorpio
Gemini
Sagittarius
Aquarius
Aries
Libra
I'm a Libra. And this is true, but people usually don't care about that I loving them, like it wasn't the most precious thing they could get from me
Cancer
I thought that Cancer was shy nice people? That's what it always was when I was a kid, and how I first suspected that horoscopes were b******t since I didn't fit it.
while its true most cancers are shy, shy doesnt equal nice. the best way to describe a cancer is emotional. and emotional people can be aggressive too (im a cancer leo cusp, and boy do i got some problems)
Load More Replies...Not in the least bit true must have been written by a scorpio, they are the true a*s holes
My Meme was a Scorpio. She was one of strongest women I have ever known. She could do everything a man could do, and she usually did it even better. Before she retired she was a cross-country truck driver. I lived with her for many years. And we raised 2 of my cousins together. I was 13 when that began. She worked hard, and I had to figure out how to be a Mom to kids that weren't even mine when I was just 13. But, she was always about family. And the only time I saw her being an a*****e was when she was taking up for the family. Oh, and when one of our neighbors in Houston called her something she wasn't. She was a good woman, but she wasn't an a*****e. Thank God!!!!
Load More Replies...I'm more upset that they represented cancer with the spider crab which is the ugliest crab in the f**king sea. How's that for assholery?
I already knew that. Why would anyone want a cure for being an a*****e anyways, it's so much better than fake, b****y, selfish, and conceited.
there’s different types to each sign some are shy and cry, some never cry and are sassy af
Cancer people also would keep a person in a relationship even if they see that the person is suffering... But no, as long as Cancer is happy, he basically doesnt give a s**t if other people around him are miserable... :(
This is true... Cancer people were the biggest a******s to me out of all Zodiac and it is really hard for me to be friends with them, not to mention having a relationship (I am a Taurus BTW). They can play nice and all that but cross them and they will back stab you as soon as they get the chance... And no, they wont give a s**t that you also might have emotions. Basically these gusy only look after their own asses. :D
Push a cancer too far and yes they can become an a*****e and wont give a s**t about anythig or anyone
Load More Replies...Taurus
Pisces
Virgo
Capricorn
I usually don't have a big ego ... But some times , when things get out of hand , I just shy away from people , which they might consider as me being egotistic.... So maybe that's how I understand this ...
I have never figured out why the stars, billions of miles away, spend so much time aligning themselves to tell me, "you'll be in a spot of bother at work."
Well, they don't but reading horoscopes is still a great way of fighting boredom. I think that this horoscope is 100% incorrect but the one that my mother likes to watch on ORT TV is surprisingly accurate for my family.
Load More Replies...Anyone notice the URL? 'Shiity-horoscopes-zodiac-anthology-amrit-brar'
If you enjoyed these pieces, this art is done by a tumblr user by the name of Musterni or Amrit Brar, there's more when this came from!
I have never figured out why the stars, billions of miles away, spend so much time aligning themselves to tell me, "you'll be in a spot of bother at work."
Well, they don't but reading horoscopes is still a great way of fighting boredom. I think that this horoscope is 100% incorrect but the one that my mother likes to watch on ORT TV is surprisingly accurate for my family.
Load More Replies...Anyone notice the URL? 'Shiity-horoscopes-zodiac-anthology-amrit-brar'
If you enjoyed these pieces, this art is done by a tumblr user by the name of Musterni or Amrit Brar, there's more when this came from!