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Women Are Sharing Their Assault Stories And It’s Shocking How Common It Is (20 Tweets)
Women Are Sharing Their Assault Stories And It’s Shocking How Common It Is (20 Tweets)
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Women Are Sharing Their Assault Stories And It’s Shocking How Common It Is (20 Tweets)

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With the rise of the #metoo movement in recent years and a string of high-profile cases, it appears that we as a society are finally getting to grips with an insidious yet heartbreakingly common issue – invasive, aggressive and unwanted sexual predator advances.

Previously, people who experienced this scary and dehumanizing behavior have been implicitly encouraged to either ignore it or simply accept sexual assaults as ‘normal’ – our collective refusal to face up to the problem has been the main cause of this. Lame excuses like ‘boys will be boys,’ or ‘it’s just because he likes you,’ leave many victims feeling like everything was somehow their own fault, so they instead have to suffer in silence along with feelings of guilt and shame.

Women (and also some men) are staying silent no longer.

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    After Twitter user KenidraRWoods asked women to speak up, the responses came in heartbreakingly large numbers.

    According to a study by RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network), an American is sexually assaulted, groped, catcalled or harassed every 92 seconds – sexual abuse and its normalization is a problem that is deeply rooted in our culture.

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    Many men joined in the conversation, shocked by the everyday experiences that women are faced with and vowing to help address the issue through understanding, education and the willingness to confront inappropriate sexual behavior when they see it.

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    What do you think? Are initiatives like #metoo helping to confront the issue of sexual violence? What else can we do to turn around casual and corrosive attitudes towards it? Let us know your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.

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    Ilona Baliūnaitė

    Ilona Baliūnaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

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    I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda since 2017. I've searched through a multitude of images to create over 2000 diverse posts on a wide range of topics. I love memes, funny, and cute stuff, but I'm also into social issues topics. Despite my background in communication, my heart belongs to visual media, especially photography. When I'm not at my desk, you're likely to find me in the streets with my camera, checking out cool exhibitions, watching a movie at the cinema or just chilling with a coffee in a cozy place

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    Ilona Baliūnaitė

    Ilona Baliūnaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda since 2017. I've searched through a multitude of images to create over 2000 diverse posts on a wide range of topics. I love memes, funny, and cute stuff, but I'm also into social issues topics. Despite my background in communication, my heart belongs to visual media, especially photography. When I'm not at my desk, you're likely to find me in the streets with my camera, checking out cool exhibitions, watching a movie at the cinema or just chilling with a coffee in a cozy place

    James Caunt

    James Caunt

    Writer, Community member

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    James is a Bored Panda reporter who graduated with a BA in Peace And Conflict Studies and an MA in African Affairs. Before Bored Panda, he was an English teacher and also travelled a lot, doing odd jobs from beer-slinging to brickie's labourer and freelance journalism along the way. James loves covering stories about social and environmental issues and prefers to highlight the positive things that unite us, rather than petty internet squabbles about fictional characters. James is the grumpy, contradictory one who thinks that Bored Panda, due to its large audience, has a social responsibility to inspire and inform its readers with interesting issues and entertaining, well-researched stories. Let's do our bit to make our little corner of the internet a smarter, more truthful and less angry place!

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    James Caunt

    James Caunt

    Writer, Community member

    James is a Bored Panda reporter who graduated with a BA in Peace And Conflict Studies and an MA in African Affairs. Before Bored Panda, he was an English teacher and also travelled a lot, doing odd jobs from beer-slinging to brickie's labourer and freelance journalism along the way. James loves covering stories about social and environmental issues and prefers to highlight the positive things that unite us, rather than petty internet squabbles about fictional characters. James is the grumpy, contradictory one who thinks that Bored Panda, due to its large audience, has a social responsibility to inspire and inform its readers with interesting issues and entertaining, well-researched stories. Let's do our bit to make our little corner of the internet a smarter, more truthful and less angry place!

    What do you think ?
    Kayla Bear
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've never commented before even though i read bored panda every day, but this post bothers me so much i had to. I was sexually abused by my father for years and even after a restraining order and helping get my baby sister from his custody i fell for his apologies only to be raped again in my 20s by him. I still struggle trying to get angry at him. I make excuses for him that he's mentally ill because you have you be to rape a child right? I told my mother the first time it happened and she made him APOLOGIZE!!! but continued to let hom have primary custody of her 2 daughters. If after all that and most days i still feel guilty... As in maybe im remembering it wrong, maybe i did make it too easy... The fact i even ask myself those questions means society is perhaps giving me the wrong message about victims. I just had a child, a boy. I plan to raise him to treat women right, always ask is this ok? And to trust his gut if he feels unsafe. Thanks pandas for reading this.

    Foxxy
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You saying “maybe I did make it easy”, breaks my heart and is all down to the victim blaming society puts on us. The ONLY person to blame is the perpetrator. For years I kept blaming myself for always going to my neighbours house even when it was going on. It has taken YEARS of therapy and help from my hubby to understand things better. I was a child, and he took advantage. I hope you can heal from this and congratulations on your little boy. All the best to you and your future.

    Load More Replies...
    Leo Domitrix
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Saddest to me was "at least I wasn't raped". I was. Also, some years later, groped at work, subjected to profane commentary on/about body parts, told to let male co-workers do XYZ to "keep the peace" *by a female boss*. ... We have to teach our kids (of both sexes!) to be and do better...

    La Petite Morte
    Community Member
    6 years ago (edited)

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    The largeness of what fits under the 'at least I wasn't raped...' blanket... ~~~ So much damage and pain is caused by people who are in positions where they are supposed to help protect and heal insisting on specific qualifiers before they consider it 'real assault'. When they insist that if xyz didn't happen, or, conversely did happen, or the victim was wearing/ doing/ said xyz... well, it wasn't 'legitimate rape', or 'actual assault', or 'real abuse'. As if there's some universal checklist that abusers and rapists use where it only counts if every box is ticked.

    Load More Replies...
    LuckyL
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think it's also about "forgetting", that we just don't remember every time. ----------- Only when the metoo debate started I remembered my teacher looking at my breast and making a few comments. Made me wear different clothes on the day's I had his classes. ---------- Last week there were three men in the supermarket, where on of them started talking to me. Wanted to know my name, where I'm from, wanted to walk me to my car - even though I had told him, that I'm not interessted and in a hurry. ----------- And I'm not that good looking, I'm quite overweight. Sometimes I think of these comments as "ohh, she's probably really good looking to attract so much attention". But then I try to remind myself, that it's not about beeing good looking.

    Leo Domitrix
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nope, it's not about your looks. It's about their rage and need to punish and control. Doesn't matter if the offender is male/female or the victim is male/female. One wants to take power and get their jollies by hurting the other. And this is why I hate being a human instead of, say, a tree...

    Load More Replies...
    athornedrose
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i've been a d-cup since 12. i had a college kid try and pull me up to his hotel room while on vacation with my family because i smiled at him when he smiled at me at the pool. i was 12. he said i was lying because 12 year olds don't have my chest. if my older male cousin had not come over to stop him and alerted my uncle, i shudder to think what would have happened. that was just the beginning of the end of my childhood. i was never allowed to be a kid again, just a sex object.

    Drive Bee
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My best friend's mom didn't want her to play with me anymore because I had developed and she was sure I was going to "get into trouble" because of it. She treated me as if I had willed my boobs to grow.

    Load More Replies...
    Klaudiia Sherbatzky
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I work in a shop where you can make football/basketball/tennis etc bets. (sorry don´t know the english word for this kind of work) And I have only male customers. And I like my work I really do but I have this one customer who comes every day, and everytime he makes this stupid comments like : Uff whoa look at your body....you are sooo sexy!! How is this possible you don´t have a boyfriend? How can you live without sex? Do you watch porn? Are you a virgin? .....and his comments make me so uncomfortable. I told him 100 times to stop that I don´t like the way he talks to me. I told my boss too (woman) and she laughs about it. She said : Ahh don´t listen, he´s stupid. Or : thats just likes he is. But I don´t think thats "OK" asking me questions like do I watch porn???? Or how can I survive without a boyfriend because that means I don´t have sex? Thats none of your buisness! I shared this story months ago on bored panda. But I wanted to tell this again. this happens every day. Sad....

    Mary Rose Kent
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If it’s an option, simply stop interacting with him. No eye contact, no responses to anything he says—treat him like a ghost. If that’s not possible, complete your interaction in a way that does this as much as possible. Never, ever smile at him and make no eye contact beyond what is absolutely necessary.

    Load More Replies...
    Foxxy
    Community Member
    6 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Between the ages of 11-13 I was sexually abused by a close neighbour. When I eventually told my mum we went to the police and made a report. Nothing else was done because times and dates weren’t remembered. It also came to light that his niece had also made a report against him for sexual abuse. He never went to court or charged with anything, only reports on his record. My mum and Aunty were also abused by one of their close neighbours. My Aunty was effected by it so badly that she committed suicide and my mum still suffers the effects even after 40 odd years.

    Nora AlMeida
    Community Member
    6 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is so tragic! Every actual man should be aware that there are some vile, rabid animals with no manhood among his gender who harm females, and actual men should be proactively supportive of females. Because an actual man would have the intellect and manhood to comprehend that females need to be protected from the unhinged animals of their male gender. That police officer must have been a sex offender himself for not putting that sick perpetrator in prison for what he had done. Not a shred of manhood in that deranged officer.

    Load More Replies...
    Derek Neibarger
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Almost every woman/girl I've had a relationship with has had at least one story of being harassed or sexually assaulted. I'm more surprised when I meet a woman who hasn't experienced something like this, and I suspect they most likely eventually will. It's disgusting and sad.

    Helen Haley
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They have, they just didn't weren't raised to recognize it as such.

    Load More Replies...
    Katie Hayes
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was trafficked at 15.5 years old. No one looked for me . When I got away got back home and tried to tell people I was attacked at school , at home all anywhere I went was called prostitute, dirty whore was hit . Dated men who abused me , used drugs to numb myself ended up being a.junky loser because I no longer cared or wanted to live. Many years later I found my way, the right way it took me so long I lost my entire life to it all. I struggle day to day with loving myself enough to make it another day. I am sober now for years. I'm just now living a normal life .. I'll be forty soon. And have layered disease with no cure and no access to medicine. I have few years left. At times I feel robbed

    Drive Bee
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am so sorry. You did not deserve that. I wish you healing.

    Load More Replies...
    Marta Kęska
    Community Member
    6 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    clownphish
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Um, screw the slag who tried to invalidate your experiences bc you weren't raped so you shouldn't b***h about it. The #metoo moments in your life were valid and you had to deal with them on a personal level. I'm glad you got to speak up, these things that happened to you should be said and not minimized bc it wasn't as bad as rape. Being groped, mocked, and pressured to do something you didn't want to do are all things that shouldn't happen to anybody but they happened to you bc you're female and that's the whole point of the #metoo movement!

    Load More Replies...
    Hiker Chick
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's weird because these have happened to me but I didn't realize how pervasive the culture is until the last few years now that people are talking about it. I quit one of my first jobs as a teenager because a couple of the men were constantly sexually harassing me. I didn't know how to cope. I've been followed and harassed often, especially when younger. I was catcalled a few weeks ago an I'm in my 50's (I'm small and he was far away, probably couldn't see the wrinkles). I thought all this was my fault. Makes me ill.

    Load More Comments
    Kayla Bear
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've never commented before even though i read bored panda every day, but this post bothers me so much i had to. I was sexually abused by my father for years and even after a restraining order and helping get my baby sister from his custody i fell for his apologies only to be raped again in my 20s by him. I still struggle trying to get angry at him. I make excuses for him that he's mentally ill because you have you be to rape a child right? I told my mother the first time it happened and she made him APOLOGIZE!!! but continued to let hom have primary custody of her 2 daughters. If after all that and most days i still feel guilty... As in maybe im remembering it wrong, maybe i did make it too easy... The fact i even ask myself those questions means society is perhaps giving me the wrong message about victims. I just had a child, a boy. I plan to raise him to treat women right, always ask is this ok? And to trust his gut if he feels unsafe. Thanks pandas for reading this.

    Foxxy
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You saying “maybe I did make it easy”, breaks my heart and is all down to the victim blaming society puts on us. The ONLY person to blame is the perpetrator. For years I kept blaming myself for always going to my neighbours house even when it was going on. It has taken YEARS of therapy and help from my hubby to understand things better. I was a child, and he took advantage. I hope you can heal from this and congratulations on your little boy. All the best to you and your future.

    Load More Replies...
    Leo Domitrix
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Saddest to me was "at least I wasn't raped". I was. Also, some years later, groped at work, subjected to profane commentary on/about body parts, told to let male co-workers do XYZ to "keep the peace" *by a female boss*. ... We have to teach our kids (of both sexes!) to be and do better...

    La Petite Morte
    Community Member
    6 years ago (edited)

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    The largeness of what fits under the 'at least I wasn't raped...' blanket... ~~~ So much damage and pain is caused by people who are in positions where they are supposed to help protect and heal insisting on specific qualifiers before they consider it 'real assault'. When they insist that if xyz didn't happen, or, conversely did happen, or the victim was wearing/ doing/ said xyz... well, it wasn't 'legitimate rape', or 'actual assault', or 'real abuse'. As if there's some universal checklist that abusers and rapists use where it only counts if every box is ticked.

    Load More Replies...
    LuckyL
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think it's also about "forgetting", that we just don't remember every time. ----------- Only when the metoo debate started I remembered my teacher looking at my breast and making a few comments. Made me wear different clothes on the day's I had his classes. ---------- Last week there were three men in the supermarket, where on of them started talking to me. Wanted to know my name, where I'm from, wanted to walk me to my car - even though I had told him, that I'm not interessted and in a hurry. ----------- And I'm not that good looking, I'm quite overweight. Sometimes I think of these comments as "ohh, she's probably really good looking to attract so much attention". But then I try to remind myself, that it's not about beeing good looking.

    Leo Domitrix
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nope, it's not about your looks. It's about their rage and need to punish and control. Doesn't matter if the offender is male/female or the victim is male/female. One wants to take power and get their jollies by hurting the other. And this is why I hate being a human instead of, say, a tree...

    Load More Replies...
    athornedrose
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i've been a d-cup since 12. i had a college kid try and pull me up to his hotel room while on vacation with my family because i smiled at him when he smiled at me at the pool. i was 12. he said i was lying because 12 year olds don't have my chest. if my older male cousin had not come over to stop him and alerted my uncle, i shudder to think what would have happened. that was just the beginning of the end of my childhood. i was never allowed to be a kid again, just a sex object.

    Drive Bee
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My best friend's mom didn't want her to play with me anymore because I had developed and she was sure I was going to "get into trouble" because of it. She treated me as if I had willed my boobs to grow.

    Load More Replies...
    Klaudiia Sherbatzky
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I work in a shop where you can make football/basketball/tennis etc bets. (sorry don´t know the english word for this kind of work) And I have only male customers. And I like my work I really do but I have this one customer who comes every day, and everytime he makes this stupid comments like : Uff whoa look at your body....you are sooo sexy!! How is this possible you don´t have a boyfriend? How can you live without sex? Do you watch porn? Are you a virgin? .....and his comments make me so uncomfortable. I told him 100 times to stop that I don´t like the way he talks to me. I told my boss too (woman) and she laughs about it. She said : Ahh don´t listen, he´s stupid. Or : thats just likes he is. But I don´t think thats "OK" asking me questions like do I watch porn???? Or how can I survive without a boyfriend because that means I don´t have sex? Thats none of your buisness! I shared this story months ago on bored panda. But I wanted to tell this again. this happens every day. Sad....

    Mary Rose Kent
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If it’s an option, simply stop interacting with him. No eye contact, no responses to anything he says—treat him like a ghost. If that’s not possible, complete your interaction in a way that does this as much as possible. Never, ever smile at him and make no eye contact beyond what is absolutely necessary.

    Load More Replies...
    Foxxy
    Community Member
    6 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Between the ages of 11-13 I was sexually abused by a close neighbour. When I eventually told my mum we went to the police and made a report. Nothing else was done because times and dates weren’t remembered. It also came to light that his niece had also made a report against him for sexual abuse. He never went to court or charged with anything, only reports on his record. My mum and Aunty were also abused by one of their close neighbours. My Aunty was effected by it so badly that she committed suicide and my mum still suffers the effects even after 40 odd years.

    Nora AlMeida
    Community Member
    6 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is so tragic! Every actual man should be aware that there are some vile, rabid animals with no manhood among his gender who harm females, and actual men should be proactively supportive of females. Because an actual man would have the intellect and manhood to comprehend that females need to be protected from the unhinged animals of their male gender. That police officer must have been a sex offender himself for not putting that sick perpetrator in prison for what he had done. Not a shred of manhood in that deranged officer.

    Load More Replies...
    Derek Neibarger
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Almost every woman/girl I've had a relationship with has had at least one story of being harassed or sexually assaulted. I'm more surprised when I meet a woman who hasn't experienced something like this, and I suspect they most likely eventually will. It's disgusting and sad.

    Helen Haley
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They have, they just didn't weren't raised to recognize it as such.

    Load More Replies...
    Katie Hayes
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was trafficked at 15.5 years old. No one looked for me . When I got away got back home and tried to tell people I was attacked at school , at home all anywhere I went was called prostitute, dirty whore was hit . Dated men who abused me , used drugs to numb myself ended up being a.junky loser because I no longer cared or wanted to live. Many years later I found my way, the right way it took me so long I lost my entire life to it all. I struggle day to day with loving myself enough to make it another day. I am sober now for years. I'm just now living a normal life .. I'll be forty soon. And have layered disease with no cure and no access to medicine. I have few years left. At times I feel robbed

    Drive Bee
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am so sorry. You did not deserve that. I wish you healing.

    Load More Replies...
    Marta Kęska
    Community Member
    6 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    clownphish
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Um, screw the slag who tried to invalidate your experiences bc you weren't raped so you shouldn't b***h about it. The #metoo moments in your life were valid and you had to deal with them on a personal level. I'm glad you got to speak up, these things that happened to you should be said and not minimized bc it wasn't as bad as rape. Being groped, mocked, and pressured to do something you didn't want to do are all things that shouldn't happen to anybody but they happened to you bc you're female and that's the whole point of the #metoo movement!

    Load More Replies...
    Hiker Chick
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's weird because these have happened to me but I didn't realize how pervasive the culture is until the last few years now that people are talking about it. I quit one of my first jobs as a teenager because a couple of the men were constantly sexually harassing me. I didn't know how to cope. I've been followed and harassed often, especially when younger. I was catcalled a few weeks ago an I'm in my 50's (I'm small and he was far away, probably couldn't see the wrinkles). I thought all this was my fault. Makes me ill.

    Load More Comments
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