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29 People Call Out What Things We Should Stop Accepting As Normal And Call Them What They Are – Sexist
Society has normalized a lot of things that are blatantly sexist—that’s what the ‘Power To Her’ channel shared in a viral TikTok video that caught the attention of many women on the platform. According to the ‘Power to Her’ project’s video, one of the most mind-blowingly sexist things that are still prevalent in modern society is the fact that women are pressured to change their last names once they get married.
Meanwhile, other TikTokers pitched in with their own examples of what kinds of sexist behaviors have been normalized. From brides wearing white dresses that symbolize purity, innocence, and virginity, and fathers ‘giving away’ their daughters after they walk them down the aisle to other sexist behaviors that you can find in everyday life. Have a look at some of the most insightful responses to ‘Power To Her’s’ video and upvote the ones that you’ve noticed in society, too, dear Pandas.
More info: TikTok | PowerToHer.org
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I've tried numerous times and asked numerous doctors if I can have my tubes tied because I don't want to have children, nor does my husband. They want to have a meeting with both me and my husband, they tell me I'll probably change my mind, that I'm too young or that I need to wait until I have at least one child. Even though I don't want any. But my husband can make a phone call and set up an appointment, just like that.
THIS. Even if the laws are on your side, most doctors won't do it and give you all kinds of illegal and irrelevant excuses, and there's nothing you can do about it, except for going from doctor to doctor until you luck out. Had a huge fight with my former OBG/YN because he wouldn't tie my tubes because "I was too young (23) and eventually *my husband* could want kids. I literally kicked him in the nuts while cursing at him. Would do it again.
School dress codes. This logic about girls needing to "cover up" is so problematic and flawed, because we're teaching girls that they are responsible for how men act when they show any part of their body.
The prefix for men is Mr. and the prefix for women is Miss, Ms. and Mrs. A prefix for women is directly dependent on if she is single or married. It stays Mr. for men all their lives.
The ‘Power To Her’ organization aims to empower women in their communities. “We hope to encourage social change through promoting, educating and providing the necessary tools and services for progress,” the project explains on its website.
The founder of ‘Power To Her,’ Sachreet Chahal and Shuchi Jain, seek to end gender-based inequalities on a global level. Having met at the Schulich School of Business, the two women eventually grew closer together, shared the things they faced as women, and decided to form the organization.
Back in 2017 I bought a house as a single woman, this year I sold it. My and my partner decided to buy a new house together. With the money I made from selling my old house, I put the entire down payment on the new one. The mortgage company, the insurance, home warranty addresses him as the owner of this house and I'm the "co-borrower".
A woman with boundaries is selfish, rude, mean, harsh. A man with boundaries is confident, powerful, successful, ambitious.
When people come up to me and tell me my daughter's really beautiful and that I better watch our for her when she gets older. Like, they're actually expecting our daughters to be sexually assaulted.
Okay. So where I live. We have arranged marriages. I don’t mind. What I do mind is that I’m 17 and our weird neighbour hinted my mom that she thought I was pretty and her son was at marrying age. Ewgh. Creepy old ladies. Edit: Yes my parents shoed her away.
“Power To Her means giving the power back to each and every single woman and providing them with the help and resources to live their most authentic life,” they explain.
Founder Shuchi, a professional dancer and choreographer with a penchant for traveling and content creation, hopes to raise awareness about the issues that women face through the project. Meanwhile, Sachreet, an aspiring writer and a philanthropist, has always had a passion for social activism and always dreamed about starting a non-profit organization.
Women are forced to take sole responsibility for contraception, when women are only fertile 3-5 days of the year. Men are fertile every single day of the year. The biggest gimmick of all was that it was sold to us as a way of independence.
That must mean 3-5 days a month, not a year! Most women have a fertile period every cycle.
How male actors like Ryan Gosling or Leonardo DiCaprio can play the main character their entire careers but each time their female co-star/love interest gets younger.
It's not only normalized but viewed as "cute" when a man can't do the basic parts of parenting. "Oh my husband can't even be with the kids for two hours without calling me haha". "That's nothing, mine won't even touch the dirty diapers." What's funny about only women being expected to know how to take care of their children?
I have to say where I come from, that's not true (anymore). When I go on a 3 day trip with my girlfriends, the dads stay with the kids and it's perfectly normal. No problems whatsoever.
‘Power To Her’ bases its activities on three main pillars in order to empower “a large network of women from different backgrounds and ethnicities.”
The first pillar that the project is founded on is all about mutual support and growth. The second is about educating society about women’s issues, gender stereotypes, toxic beauty standards, access to education, inequality in the workplace, and the lack of women in positions of power. The final pillar is providing people with the necessary tools and services to empower them to give back to marginalized communities.
Whenever a girl has an attitude or is in a bad mood, she gets asked if it's her "time of the month".
It's so normalized for women to change their last name after getting married. This is the name you got your degree with, the name associated with all your accomplishments. Yet society just expects you to pack it up and change it the second you get married.
The fact that so many men expect their S/O to change their last name for them is a red flag.
I understand all the arguments for why you would want to change your last name. To be part of the family and it's easier for the kids and all that. BUT the fact is that the pressure is solely put on women.
When anything happens to a woman, be a crime or an accident, they're almost always referred to as a wife/mother first on a news broadcast. The fact that she's not reffered by her name first but by her relationship to others is messed up. There's always a difference when men are mentioned. It's always "local man", and then they later mention that he's a husband or a father.
In the netherlands they recently referred to the royal couple as "The queen and her husband" in a newspaper, fun fact: in this case the husband is actually the monarch of the country i.e. he is the king
Literally everything about traditional weddings. Your dad gives you away so that you can be passed from one man to another man. You have to wear a white dress, because if you're not a virgin, you're [useless]. It's bad luck for the man to see the bride on the day of the wedding because back when marriages were all arranged, if the guy saw the bride before, sometimes he would want to call it off because he didn't fancy her, and that would bring shame on...the bride. That's also why the veil is a thing. Traditionally, the bride's family pays for the wedding.
This depends on where you live, most of these don't apply to my culture. In my country the bride and groom make their entrance together for both the civil and church marriage ceremonies. There is no giving away of the bride as part of the marriage ceremony itself.
Shaving. If a woman doesn't shave, it's considered "manly" and "nasty". Makeup is targeted specifically towards women, and when a man uses it, he's considered less of a man.
I personally like how my legs look when I shave them, which is why I shave them. If someone doesn't like that on themselves or just doesn't want to, they shouldn't be forced to. Same thing for makeup.
Giving the mothers the custody on Monday-Friday, and giving the dads the weekends where they get to be the fun parent, no school, no pickups, no homework.
The way society expects girls to be polite vs the way women expect men to be polite. Women are raised to be overly polite from childhood. This is a huge disservice to women — their conditioning to be polite can be so strong that it can lead to situations that put their safety in danger.
I once saw a experiment on TV, where the girl stopped saying "thank you" for a whole day. She wasn't being rude at all, was smiling when she felt like it and talking in a normal tone. Whenever her boyfriend gave her a compliment or something, or did something normal like passing the remote control or just normal relationship stuff, she answered him but didn't thank him. and by the end of the day he was absolutely mad at her, for no "real" reason. I think about this sometimes, because I say "thank you"all the time, even when it's not "my turn" to say it but men don't say "thank you" half as much, and it's totally okay.
I carried my baby for 9 months and birthed her, and yet she has my husband's last name.
Why do we say "grow a pair" or "get some balls" when referring to a situation where someone needs to be strong or tough?
Works both ways, "crying like a girl" and "being a pussy"
If you're a woman and you're walking anywhere, and there's a man coming at you, they'll expect you to move to accommodate them, they won't do it for you. I started playing a little game where I don't move for the man, and the amount of times they've run into me, because they expected me to move, is actually insane.
I call bs. I'm a woman and I've noticed that it's usually the women who won't move
It's normalized to ask a woman "when are you expecting to have kids?". Would you ask that if I was a man? When corportations hire women, they usually anticipate that they're going to take a maternity leave and this is considered a due cost for them, and this is something that people use to justify the pay gap.
Drinking. Everytime I order a whiskey on the rocks, men look at me like "really, you like whiskey?" Where does it say that girls are only allowed to drink wine or sangrias, and if she likes stronger drinks, she's trying to be something that she's not. And even with roles reversed, why are guys not allowed to order fruity drinks, how does that make him less of a man?
I'd have to say gift giving. Presents from "mom and dad", but the dad has no idea what's in them because mom bought them.
That's not sexist- your partner is lazy ass if they can't be bothered to shop for their own kids.
Our fathers walking us down the aisle whenever we get married, because that comes from a time when women were considered property. The father is giving his property away to a new man, because now the woman is supposed to be the husband's property. I feel like that should've been done with when women got rights, it's not cute. I'm not doing that.
Organizing parties. Not only do women take care of the food, they also clean everything up afterwards. Men are just standing there unbothered.
Men playing video games all day. If I were to play video games all day then I'd be neglecting my kid, but when a man does it, it's a good thing that he's home and not out there cheating.
Girls are raised to be wives and told what they can or can't do in their present for what their future husband might like. You have to keep your "purity" because your future husband might like that, you can't wear that, you can't look this way, you can't post those videos, you have to know how to cook and clean as if those aren't human traits that we all need to know how to do as adults to stay alive. But "boys will be boys" and are allowed to do whatever they want.
Engagement rings. We have a "symbol" on our hand saying we belong to someone else, while men get to go around and do whatever they want, no one knows if they're taken.
When a woman decides to propose to a man, she is looked down by society. It's so normalized for only men to propose.
It's unusual for sure, but are women who do this actually looked down on? I've never met anyone who'd think that.
Why are ships and cars referred to with the pronouns she/her? The English language doesn't really refer to things as "masculine" or "feminine". The fact that we personify these inanimate objects as women and give them female names, doesn't sit right with me. Research says that this has a variety of reasons, ranging from viewing a vessel as a motherly, womb-like, life sustaining figure, to jokingly likening a ship to a woman who is "expensive" to keep and needs a man to guide her, and a lick of paint to look good.
Unpopular as usual, but most of these are enforced, allowed, encouraged and even justified by other women. If you married a useless slob and keep doing everything for him, it's not society forcing you to do it, it's just you being dumb. If it bothers you, stop putting up with it. It's really simple. Also, anyone can say crap to you, but it's you who give importance to their opinions.. this kind of posts piss me off, because it's just women complaining about crap they willingly put up with. Grow a pair of tits and ovaries, ffs!
I understand that some of these posts piss you off fir those reasons, but please consider that you are talking like someone who is in a position of power, not all women are being born into societies where that's the norm. Maybe try to see things from different angles before you're blaming the victim. Try to empower, not put down, feels better.
Load More Replies...I personally hate the phrase "Boys will be boys" because it just gives them an excuse to treat people however they want.
I especially hate it when male teachers say this about predominantly male classes. I try to explain to them that they are giving the boys excuses that will backfire later and arent teaching them anything other than it is ok to be pains in the a**.
Load More Replies...I would add that there are many indirect sexist conditionings given by society. For instance, how were single independent women usually portraited? The evil ones, the witches, etc. That getting marriage is the ultimate milestone and the biggest success in a woman's life. And many others like that, some also being addressed to men. It is changing thought, but most of us grew up with those wrong messages.
I will be downvoted for agreeing. Motherhood and marriage are still shown on TV, in movies, as the end-all be-all. Crying men are bad, crying women are okay but only if they stop crying after they're told to.... It's changed over my lifetime, but too slowly, IMO.
Load More Replies...It is merely the results of thousand of years of mind conditioning. but let's not forget also men too don't have it easy. To give a couple of examples: they cannot cry otherwise they are pussies, they cannot have certain jobs (like being a nanny i.e.) cause it would be considered either "gay" or "inappropriate" and we could go on forever with examples for both women and men. let's stop sexism from both sides machismo and feminism altogether ! and bring some nice balance to our lives for once !
Most of these are only traditional and honestly don't know mean people that still think that way. I feel like some people are way more old fashioned than I know of and I live in the Bible Belt in a small town (pop. 900) and next biggest town is (pop. 80,000). So.... who's still that old fashioned?
#6: married 'old world italian' who thought it was odd i wanted to keep my name. finally asked him if tradition was reversed, would he ever look in the mirror and say 'i'm mike [insert my last name}? he said, 'no, i'm mike [his last name]. exactly! then, made a deal. if we made it to 20 yrs i would change it. well, we did; and i did. then 10 yrs later divorced. took back my name but his still haunts me on insurance & other official docs. #8: gave my son my name. caused all sorts of issues when he went into military service. ended up having to hyphenate my & his dad's name to satisfy the air force.
Just a friendly FYI - the numbers change as the posts get up/downvoted. What was #6 when you commented is #7 now, it could be changed again in a few more hours. You are probably better off putting these comments under the posts themselves as they will stay connected to it that way. :)
Load More Replies...This is an odd article . Empowering females is great . Equality is great. The things posted here are based on opinion and honestly it seems like another type of complaining post rather than an empowering and educating post
Ever heard the expression "making a mountain out of a molehill"? Almost all of these pithy observations have not been "social norms" for over half a century at least. Whatever personal experiences to the contrary there may be.
I agree and can recognise some of these, but mostly this list just makes me realise how progressive my country/community is.
Dude, some of y'all really need to get over yourselves. Yes, women deserved to be treated equally - thats obvious. I think 100% of people under 50 agree, and that gender inequality will mostly end with the Baby Boomers. Stop looking for every opportunity to be "offended". At some point we all just have to be adults and let things roll off our back. It makes us stronger as individuals.
Some things yes but others no. Men and boys still think its appropriate to cat call woman. I cant walk my dog in own neighborhood without being harrassed and even have had men on two separate occasions harass me at a carwash. People to raise their boys to be more respectful or this will never change
Load More Replies...Why do we do this to each other and to ourselves and our children/youngsters? they're all PEOPLE. Start with that.
#4 it's literally the way YOU and your so filled out the application. The initial app has a borrower and co-borrower section. You're both referred to by those terms for the length of the agreement. If you wanted to have yourself listed as borrower and your so as the co-borrower, you should have filled out the appropriate sections... also, if you're so concerned with who paid the down payment, you probably should have had the deed titled 20% (if that's what you put down) in your name with 80% held JWROS or TBE (depending on your state or even JTIC if you're so concerned about who's property is who's).
I am most appalled at the post that implied female birth control was some suppression conspiracy as opposed to a step towards female independence. I cannot believe a movement that put women in a position of personal responsibility was a NEGATIVE.
It is only a negative if the basis for a doctor agreeing to certain types of birth control, based on age and relationship status. Birth control in general is a very positive thing.
Load More Replies...The thing I don't like about posts like this is that no one, literally no one, is forcing a woman to do any of this. If you don't want dad giving you away, don't. If you want to keep your last name/give your last name to your kid, do it. Some like these traditions. Others don't. Just do what makes you happy and leave others to do the same.
Just ugh, women don’t want equality they want superiority, they are already equal, only a weak person can be forced to do anything they don’t want to, it’s not all men’s fault or society’s fault, stop expecting men to give all of these things to you and just demand them if you want them but don’t force other women to do things they want or accept to do because you think it makes them weak they have just as much of a right to choose as you do, that’s why your already equal, your complaining about things that you already have the power of choice for, in most civilized countries, your not forced to register for a draft at 18 in a free country and know at anytime your country can call you to war to die with no choice what so ever, you want true equality start there, your life can be as equally worthless as a mans then
This is one giant paint stroke that generalizes men. All these opposing articles are creating more divide. Do I hold the door for you, or is that imposing masculinity. All I wanna do is be a nice guy and can’t win. And with all the evil men stories of course I want to protect my daughter until another wonderful person has her back. And if a person CHOOSES their spouses last name it’s a choice! Damn
Clearly you didn't read the article, it isn't about men. It is about society and western culture. "Ms Mrs and Miss" is not about men. School dress codes isn't about men. It is about our culture, which is created by men and women. You seem to have an issue where you insist everything is somehow directly about you.
Load More Replies...This is absurd. Most of them (if not all) are just some things people do and nothing stops anyone from not doing it. When we signed premarriage protocol, we were asked whar last name children would have, which name we would take (if we wanted to change it). No law against my husband taking my name and our future children taking my name. I actually stayed with my maiden name and just add my husband name to it (same as my mother and my mother-in-law). If you dont like some things people do, just don't do it.
Right. No legal consequences, just being ostracized by most of society. Simple and easy!
Load More Replies...Can I add something: "Lists that call out sexism but ignore misandry" - I mostly think about Hollywood and western media when mentioning such things, but wouldn't it be a sign of equality to show the other side, too?
1. Titanic was over 100 years ago and 2. women have awnted to fight on frontlines but weren't allowed, so WTF? Also, women are in the military, not sitting home knitting, where have you been? 3. my mom is a veteran. Please, tell her she was "home cooking" as an Army nurse in the Vietnam era. Please. I'll make popcorn to watch the result!
Load More Replies...I'm a man and I can comment, and often do. Maybe the problem is you, not what genitalia you have.
Load More Replies...Unpopular as usual, but most of these are enforced, allowed, encouraged and even justified by other women. If you married a useless slob and keep doing everything for him, it's not society forcing you to do it, it's just you being dumb. If it bothers you, stop putting up with it. It's really simple. Also, anyone can say crap to you, but it's you who give importance to their opinions.. this kind of posts piss me off, because it's just women complaining about crap they willingly put up with. Grow a pair of tits and ovaries, ffs!
I understand that some of these posts piss you off fir those reasons, but please consider that you are talking like someone who is in a position of power, not all women are being born into societies where that's the norm. Maybe try to see things from different angles before you're blaming the victim. Try to empower, not put down, feels better.
Load More Replies...I personally hate the phrase "Boys will be boys" because it just gives them an excuse to treat people however they want.
I especially hate it when male teachers say this about predominantly male classes. I try to explain to them that they are giving the boys excuses that will backfire later and arent teaching them anything other than it is ok to be pains in the a**.
Load More Replies...I would add that there are many indirect sexist conditionings given by society. For instance, how were single independent women usually portraited? The evil ones, the witches, etc. That getting marriage is the ultimate milestone and the biggest success in a woman's life. And many others like that, some also being addressed to men. It is changing thought, but most of us grew up with those wrong messages.
I will be downvoted for agreeing. Motherhood and marriage are still shown on TV, in movies, as the end-all be-all. Crying men are bad, crying women are okay but only if they stop crying after they're told to.... It's changed over my lifetime, but too slowly, IMO.
Load More Replies...It is merely the results of thousand of years of mind conditioning. but let's not forget also men too don't have it easy. To give a couple of examples: they cannot cry otherwise they are pussies, they cannot have certain jobs (like being a nanny i.e.) cause it would be considered either "gay" or "inappropriate" and we could go on forever with examples for both women and men. let's stop sexism from both sides machismo and feminism altogether ! and bring some nice balance to our lives for once !
Most of these are only traditional and honestly don't know mean people that still think that way. I feel like some people are way more old fashioned than I know of and I live in the Bible Belt in a small town (pop. 900) and next biggest town is (pop. 80,000). So.... who's still that old fashioned?
#6: married 'old world italian' who thought it was odd i wanted to keep my name. finally asked him if tradition was reversed, would he ever look in the mirror and say 'i'm mike [insert my last name}? he said, 'no, i'm mike [his last name]. exactly! then, made a deal. if we made it to 20 yrs i would change it. well, we did; and i did. then 10 yrs later divorced. took back my name but his still haunts me on insurance & other official docs. #8: gave my son my name. caused all sorts of issues when he went into military service. ended up having to hyphenate my & his dad's name to satisfy the air force.
Just a friendly FYI - the numbers change as the posts get up/downvoted. What was #6 when you commented is #7 now, it could be changed again in a few more hours. You are probably better off putting these comments under the posts themselves as they will stay connected to it that way. :)
Load More Replies...This is an odd article . Empowering females is great . Equality is great. The things posted here are based on opinion and honestly it seems like another type of complaining post rather than an empowering and educating post
Ever heard the expression "making a mountain out of a molehill"? Almost all of these pithy observations have not been "social norms" for over half a century at least. Whatever personal experiences to the contrary there may be.
I agree and can recognise some of these, but mostly this list just makes me realise how progressive my country/community is.
Dude, some of y'all really need to get over yourselves. Yes, women deserved to be treated equally - thats obvious. I think 100% of people under 50 agree, and that gender inequality will mostly end with the Baby Boomers. Stop looking for every opportunity to be "offended". At some point we all just have to be adults and let things roll off our back. It makes us stronger as individuals.
Some things yes but others no. Men and boys still think its appropriate to cat call woman. I cant walk my dog in own neighborhood without being harrassed and even have had men on two separate occasions harass me at a carwash. People to raise their boys to be more respectful or this will never change
Load More Replies...Why do we do this to each other and to ourselves and our children/youngsters? they're all PEOPLE. Start with that.
#4 it's literally the way YOU and your so filled out the application. The initial app has a borrower and co-borrower section. You're both referred to by those terms for the length of the agreement. If you wanted to have yourself listed as borrower and your so as the co-borrower, you should have filled out the appropriate sections... also, if you're so concerned with who paid the down payment, you probably should have had the deed titled 20% (if that's what you put down) in your name with 80% held JWROS or TBE (depending on your state or even JTIC if you're so concerned about who's property is who's).
I am most appalled at the post that implied female birth control was some suppression conspiracy as opposed to a step towards female independence. I cannot believe a movement that put women in a position of personal responsibility was a NEGATIVE.
It is only a negative if the basis for a doctor agreeing to certain types of birth control, based on age and relationship status. Birth control in general is a very positive thing.
Load More Replies...The thing I don't like about posts like this is that no one, literally no one, is forcing a woman to do any of this. If you don't want dad giving you away, don't. If you want to keep your last name/give your last name to your kid, do it. Some like these traditions. Others don't. Just do what makes you happy and leave others to do the same.
Just ugh, women don’t want equality they want superiority, they are already equal, only a weak person can be forced to do anything they don’t want to, it’s not all men’s fault or society’s fault, stop expecting men to give all of these things to you and just demand them if you want them but don’t force other women to do things they want or accept to do because you think it makes them weak they have just as much of a right to choose as you do, that’s why your already equal, your complaining about things that you already have the power of choice for, in most civilized countries, your not forced to register for a draft at 18 in a free country and know at anytime your country can call you to war to die with no choice what so ever, you want true equality start there, your life can be as equally worthless as a mans then
This is one giant paint stroke that generalizes men. All these opposing articles are creating more divide. Do I hold the door for you, or is that imposing masculinity. All I wanna do is be a nice guy and can’t win. And with all the evil men stories of course I want to protect my daughter until another wonderful person has her back. And if a person CHOOSES their spouses last name it’s a choice! Damn
Clearly you didn't read the article, it isn't about men. It is about society and western culture. "Ms Mrs and Miss" is not about men. School dress codes isn't about men. It is about our culture, which is created by men and women. You seem to have an issue where you insist everything is somehow directly about you.
Load More Replies...This is absurd. Most of them (if not all) are just some things people do and nothing stops anyone from not doing it. When we signed premarriage protocol, we were asked whar last name children would have, which name we would take (if we wanted to change it). No law against my husband taking my name and our future children taking my name. I actually stayed with my maiden name and just add my husband name to it (same as my mother and my mother-in-law). If you dont like some things people do, just don't do it.
Right. No legal consequences, just being ostracized by most of society. Simple and easy!
Load More Replies...Can I add something: "Lists that call out sexism but ignore misandry" - I mostly think about Hollywood and western media when mentioning such things, but wouldn't it be a sign of equality to show the other side, too?
1. Titanic was over 100 years ago and 2. women have awnted to fight on frontlines but weren't allowed, so WTF? Also, women are in the military, not sitting home knitting, where have you been? 3. my mom is a veteran. Please, tell her she was "home cooking" as an Army nurse in the Vietnam era. Please. I'll make popcorn to watch the result!
Load More Replies...I'm a man and I can comment, and often do. Maybe the problem is you, not what genitalia you have.
Load More Replies...