“I’m Taking That One To The Grave”: 30 Things People Are Keeping Secret From Their Spouse

Honesty is usually the best policy when it comes to romantic relationships. None of us, as far as we know at least, have the ability to read minds and detect issues that are festering inside another person's head.

However, we all keep secrets—on average about 13 at a time, five of which we have never told anyone.

Married folks are no exception. So when Reddit user Released-Lobster asked everyone on the platform to share what they think even spouses are entitled to keep private, many chipped in. Here are the top answers.

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“I’m Taking That One To The Grave”: 30 Things People Are Keeping Secret From Their Spouse I witnessed my son walking for the first time about a month before she saw him walk. She was struggling with post partum depression and upset she wasn’t the mom she wanted to be. I’m taking that one to the grave.

Rusl21 , Polesie Toys Report

Final score:

249points

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sbj 10 months ago

You're a good man

136points

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“I’m Taking That One To The Grave”: 30 Things People Are Keeping Secret From Their Spouse I worked very hard with my kids to ensure their first word was Mama. When she wasn’t around I was going, “ma-ma-ma-ma” to the kids. Being a mom is everything to her, and I wanted her to have that cherished moment of being the first word they said. I will never tell her that.

NiceTuBeNice , Kampus Production Report

Final score:

185points

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Debbie 10 months ago

Each their own - I was curious what was my kids first words. Tbh I can't remember the exact first word, but one of the first ones my oldes said was "graafmachine" (ofcourse horribly pronounced but we recognized it). It's an excavator. It was clear what interested him around that time :)

39points

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“I’m Taking That One To The Grave”: 30 Things People Are Keeping Secret From Their Spouse I let my wife experience all the big things with the kids first. She’s a shift worker covering both day and night 12 hour shifts and no two weeks of roster are ever the same, so we have a rather sporadic home life where we are all home at the same time. If the kids have happened to have done any of the milestone events when it’s just been me at home I’ve kept quiet about it and been excited (genuinely) when she’s witnessed them “first” and calls me in the room or tells me about it. I figure it helps her not feel like she’s missing out on the family.

_ficklelilpickle , Sergey Makashin Report

Final score:

166points

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Petra 10 months ago

So far, these are so wholesome and I'm here for it! :D

72points

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“I’m Taking That One To The Grave”: 30 Things People Are Keeping Secret From Their Spouse I'm sure I'm too late for this to be seen. One day I woke up with a blocked ear, had a shower and let the warm water run into my ear. Small spider came out and ear instantly unblocked.

If I told my partner this she'd literally never sleep again.

xlr8_87 , Jon Butterworth Report

Final score:

151points

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Carries 10 months ago

Great... New fear unlocked

114points

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“I’m Taking That One To The Grave”: 30 Things People Are Keeping Secret From Their Spouse If someone talks s**t about them (your family, friends) you don’t need to tell them. You can stand up for them and leave it at that; I don’t need to hear every thought my MIL has about our wedding.

Action_Nad replied:
I'm the opposite. I give my wife full details so we can shark-attack their punk a**es together.

maplesyrupwinter , Timur Weber Report

Final score:

135points

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Surenu 10 months ago

I'm a fan of the shark-attack approach.

89points

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“I’m Taking That One To The Grave”: 30 Things People Are Keeping Secret From Their Spouse On the day I got married my dad pulled me aside and gave me this one piece of advice “you don’t have to tell her everything.” I was flummoxed, did my dad have a secret family in Florida that he was visiting on those long business trips? No, thirty years later I realized he didn’t mean “keep secrets” he meant “don’t always tell her dinner tastes burned, don’t always tell her when someone says something mean about her, don’t always tell her that the children clothes look dumb.” Of course it would have helped a lot if he had actually said that but perhaps he wanted me to learn the hard way. This morning my wife asked me “now, be serious does this dress look nice or does it look like I’m trying too hard to look like a teenager?” I honestly thought she looked great, and I told her.

hardwareweenie , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

120points

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Debbie 10 months ago

I agree with this. Everyone always screams "honesty" but that is a grey area. Sometimes there are bigger reasons to not be honest. Does santa exist? Was dinner good? How do you like my home made [thing] - I spent hours working on it" etc. Be honest about things that matter though. Would she make a fool of herself in that outfit? Then gently tell her other clothes look better. Common sense, imo.

69points

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“I’m Taking That One To The Grave”: 30 Things People Are Keeping Secret From Their Spouse My husband has no idea how many times I eat a cheeseburger on the way home from work. That's the only acceptable secret to keep.

VicePrincipalNero replied:
My mother-in-law was an appallingly awful cook who grew up in the Depression and refused to throw away food, no matter how bad it was
After they died, I was going through decades' worth of old paperwork. I discovered that my father-in-law would stop at Burger King every single day for a survival meal during his daily walks.

dumplenut , Christian Wiediger Report

Final score:

119points

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Papa 10 months ago

I'm not criticizing it, but I am curious why OP stops for a burger and keeps it quiet. Maybe the husband does the cooking, and is bad at it?

21points

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“I’m Taking That One To The Grave”: 30 Things People Are Keeping Secret From Their Spouse I take care of the bills. My husband has no clue about any of our bills. I've been secretly overpaying our mortgage by $800 every month for over a year, going to principal. I'll continue to do so. And then one day it will be a nice surprise.

nashatherenoqueen , Mikhail Nilov Report

Final score:

111points

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MellonCollie 10 months ago (edited)

Secretly overpaying the mortgage by $800 per month? I'm happy for them that they have this possibility, but I find it depressing as well. It makes me feel I'm doing everything wrong. EDIT: wow, thank you wonderful people for such an unexpected outpouring of support! Much love to you all

78points

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That someone you dated in the past was better than your current partner in some way.

If the other person was smarter or better in bed or funnier or whatever, don’t f*****g ever say it. Ever.

0nlyhalfjewish Report

Final score:

101points

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Jessica SpeLangm 10 months ago

I agree completely. The past is the past and at that time the partner was what I wanted. I'm with my husband now, and he's who I want to spend my life with, not memories of past partners.

38points

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#10

“I’m Taking That One To The Grave”: 30 Things People Are Keeping Secret From Their Spouse That the reason the dog has horrible farts wasn't because 'dogs just do that sometimes', it's because I needed to get rid of leftover black beans and he was there.

Conch-Republic , Helena Lopes Report

Final score:

98points

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Canandelabra 10 months ago

Lol happy doggie!

20points

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#11

This may be a contentious topic but your spouse isn’t your therapist. Some things are above their pay grade.

RioBlue93 Report

Final score:

97points

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LaserBrain 10 months ago

Yes. Some people use their partner as a dumping ground for everything that's bothering them. Not necessary, not nice.

40points

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#12

“I’m Taking That One To The Grave”: 30 Things People Are Keeping Secret From Their Spouse An emergency gift stash for when the partner has a bad day. My emergency stash for my wife is mostly chocolate.

fluffyfistoffury replied:
As soon as my wife figured out I had a secret chocolate stash for her bad days, she started 'having bad days' more often just to get all the chocolate. Then she got upset when it was all gone.

Muffin3319 , Budgeron Bach Report

Final score:

94points

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BeeBee Buni 10 months ago (edited)

Then you gave her some chocolate to cheer her up, right?

47points

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#13

“I’m Taking That One To The Grave”: 30 Things People Are Keeping Secret From Their Spouse I was given s**t in another sub when I said I'd never told my husband any details of the horrible bullying I experienced in school. I'm not comfortable divulging that, and it isn't something he needs to know.

California_Sun1112 , RDNE Stock project Report

Final score:

94points

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rullyman 10 months ago

There's abuse that I've suffered that I would never tell my husband. I don't need to bring that energy into my wonderful life with him

68points

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#14

“I’m Taking That One To The Grave”: 30 Things People Are Keeping Secret From Their Spouse I’ve been playing Mario Kart 200cc by myself for a few years now. I’m really good. My husband beats me all the time, but it’s usually because I let him. It’s my deathbed secret.

lackaface replied:
That’s cute, but f**k that. When I game with my man, I’m out for blood. Same with the kids.

arihkerra , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

92points

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Debbie 10 months ago

Sometimes a little competition is needed to become better. Don't downplay your own successes. What if he would think the same? Who would win?

25points

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#15

If you cheated, ever, and it’s long over and you’re feeling like you need to come clean with the truth, do not tell me. If I didn’t know and it was a decade ago, l don’t want to.

I once saw someone make a confession bedside in the ER as a traffic accident victim was slipping away, and I will never forget how hurt she looked. We (ER staff) were there to hear her later say why the f**k did he bother telling her that, and you know what, we agreed. She coded the same night and that was that.

Key-Plan5228 Report

Final score:

90points

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Angrykitten 10 months ago

That is awful. And agreed. I never understood those confessions. Why blow up a marriage like that. If on going, if in love with the other person, if there is an std. 100% confessing is required.

43points

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#16

“I’m Taking That One To The Grave”: 30 Things People Are Keeping Secret From Their Spouse not married but i rarely tell my bf that he's already told me a story/explained something about one of his interests to me before. it's so cute to see him get excited about it and a lot of the time i'll pick up on details i didn't get the previous times and learn something new.

_h4sh_br0wn_ , Katerina Holmes Report

Final score:

89points

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Kamilla Juel Sørensen 10 months ago

My farther-in-Law have dementia, he always ask me at least 5-10 times what I do for a living. I always start by telling him what I actually do (student counselling at a Uni) and then telling him more and more bizzare jobs. I am both a ballerina, an Elephant trainer in a circus, an astronaut, a secret service agent and other things more thrilling. Some times he just starts asking questions other times we have a big laugh. I love him dearly

64points

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#17

“I’m Taking That One To The Grave”: 30 Things People Are Keeping Secret From Their Spouse That you would, in fact, not love them if they were a worm

Sure_Ad_9858 replied:
My partner said he would build me a ‘worm sanctuary’ and allow me to live in a tank at his home so I wouldn't die on the streets. I found that very sweet. I told him he could date other people, and thanks for not letting me die.

Remolee , Gustavo Fring Report

Final score:

78points

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troufaki13 10 months ago

Am I the only one who finds this question stupid and disturbing?

116points

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#18

“I’m Taking That One To The Grave”: 30 Things People Are Keeping Secret From Their Spouse The size and nature of your bowel movements please if you are my husband reading this honey please no

Extremely_unlikeable replied:
Please ask my boyfriend not to send pictures, even if it looks like a heart.

spooky_upstairs replied:
But romance.

spooky_upstairs , Jas Min Report

Final score:

71points

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Mike Rodrick 10 months ago

I built a nice log cabin. Wanna see it?

27points

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#19

“I’m Taking That One To The Grave”: 30 Things People Are Keeping Secret From Their Spouse Spoilers for a show you have watched before, but are rewatching with them.

Fredx7_2 replied:
My wife and I are watching Game of Thrones at the moment, which is my first time. She’ll say, 'If you don’t do XYZ chore, I’ll tell you what happens to Joffrey/Jon/Sansa/etc.' (This is all good-natured and fun, btw.)

FlowersInMyHair923 , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

69points

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Rizzo 10 months ago (edited)

My wife's english isn't good enough for her to watch and enjoy movies in english. She prefers the dubbed german version. Therefore I watch some movies/series twice and pretend not to know what happens next. I love her. :)

32points

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#20

Other people who are romantically interested in you. They may exist. The fact that they're interested in you may even be flattering and offer a temporary boost to your self-esteem. Your partner doesn't need to know about each time you're flirted with or if someone shows interest in you. Just state that you're happy, in love, and involved with someone, and for the love of god--don't reciprocate. Just smile, say thank you, and keep it moving.

Your partner doesn't want to feel like they have a steady stream of competition all because some random a*s person said you had nice arms or a nice smile or whatevs.

Moist_Asparagus363 Report

Final score:

67points

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Momma Jess 10 months ago

Then you have relationships like mine where you've got a girlfriend that will give you massive amounts of grief for not collecting that cute chick's number 🤣

10points

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#21

When you don’t really care about something that they enjoy. Just smile & let them talk about it. Even if it’s the damn Dallas Cowboys like in my case. Lmao.

StreetNext5958 Report

Final score:

67points

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Costa 10 months ago

This is a good one. Our son has recently moved away and started his first proper job and normally calls on the way home from work and goes into minute detail about what he has been doing. I understand that these calls will not last forever so am just grateful that we have the conversation time for now. Same thing applies with a new partner.

40points

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#22

“I’m Taking That One To The Grave”: 30 Things People Are Keeping Secret From Their Spouse My partner thinks he makes a great Bolognese sauce, the kids and I are not fans. My kids try and distract him out of the kitchen so I can add seasoning and tomato paste every time he cooks it.

charlieblazer21 , Gary Barnes Report

Final score:

62points

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Debbie 10 months ago

Why not teach him...gently suggest a different sauce, a change of spices. Although it will be hard to come clean about this one. I think this one is actually damaging. Just tell him he should add it! It's like he's the only adult that doesn't know santa doesn't exist. What if you are away for a weekend, he cooks, and it doesn't turn out like normal. He'll feel betrayed that you don't trust/love him enough to tell him it actually isn't good or could be better with seasoning.

52points

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#23

Smelled something gamey behind the kitchen stove in a place we were renting.

Pulled the back off it, found a fried mouse shaped object frozen in a rockclimbing move across the live terminals.

“Find anything honey?” from the loungeroom.

“Nah, nothing darl” as I discreetly yeeted it into the outside bin,

Fit-Tip-1212 Report

Final score:

60points

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Robert T 10 months ago

I'm more worried that you have exposed "live terminals".

26points

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#24

“I’m Taking That One To The Grave”: 30 Things People Are Keeping Secret From Their Spouse If you ever slept with their mom or dad years before meeting them. There is no coming back from telling them in any situation.

I'm 100% serious.

hittsme91 , Womanizer Toys Report

Final score:

59points

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TeaAndWhimsy 10 months ago

Dude...you ok?

47points

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#25

“I’m Taking That One To The Grave”: 30 Things People Are Keeping Secret From Their Spouse Your other friends secrets. When a buddy of mines partner started talking about something I explicitly said not to share with anyone I had to reevaluate what I would share with him in the future. Part of me kinda expects their spouse to know what I’ve told them, but when you know your spouse is a gossip, don’t expect me to ever open up to you again especially if I’ve already told you to keep it a secret.

Zayt08 , Ba Tik Report

Final score:

57points

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DennyS (denzoren) 10 months ago

Sharing with a spouse is expected but the spouse then spreading it...that's not right.

47points

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#26

“I’m Taking That One To The Grave”: 30 Things People Are Keeping Secret From Their Spouse Where you keep the emergency candy.

unicornfarthappyhour replied:
I hide my chocolate in an empty box of Raisin Bran.

Karma8719 , Foodie Factor Report

Final score:

53points

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HearditontheX 10 months ago

Brilliant use of raisin bran

30points

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#27

“I’m Taking That One To The Grave”: 30 Things People Are Keeping Secret From Their Spouse What partner was best in bed, had the best d**k/tits, anything they can’t realistically change or control.

No_Dragonfruit_302 , Ketut Subiyanto Report

Final score:

46points

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Nina 10 months ago

Body parts you can't really change, skills in bed you really can

19points

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#28

“I’m Taking That One To The Grave”: 30 Things People Are Keeping Secret From Their Spouse A small enough amount of money that if s**t ever hit the fan and you split up, you’re alright for a few months

DefinitelyNotADave , Tima Miroshnichenko Report

Final score:

45points

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Luke Branwen 10 months ago

The fact this person used "a small amount of money that can make you alright for a few months" tells me that we live in very different tax brackets.

75points

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#29

“I’m Taking That One To The Grave”: 30 Things People Are Keeping Secret From Their Spouse That you don’t really love their new haircut/outfit.

Responsible_Wish1094 , Gustavo Fring Report

Final score:

36points

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Porribix 10 months ago

I am indifferent to hair/clothes so every few days i'll just throw out you look lovely today or if i know shes done her nails or hair i'll compliment her. Doesn't matter if i like it, just so long as shes happy with it.

22points

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#30

“I’m Taking That One To The Grave”: 30 Things People Are Keeping Secret From Their Spouse Your p**n preferences. At best, they'll feel pressured to perform some of those things when, sometimes, you aren't really interested in *doing* those things, you just like looking at it. That might lead to some feelings of inadequacy.

edgarpickle , Ron Lach Report

Final score:

22points

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Porribix 10 months ago

I knew my wife watches porn so during the act I would stop still every few minutes and when she asked me why I kept doing that then I said It was a move learned from porn I call it "buffering".

48points

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#31

My MIL told me, if she had the chance to do it all again, she wouldn't get married and have kids.

She was awesome and she loved her family but she suffered a lot of anxiety and depression.

I will never, ever, tell my husband.

Forsaken-Pangolin543 Report

Final score:

14points

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Aileen Grist 10 months ago

my mother told me that I should be glad I couldn't have kids - she wished she hadn't - or that there had been decent birth control. For her children were an accident of marriage. Especially girls - I'm a female.

8points

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#32

I let the dog on the couch when my husband isn’t around. He has a strict “absolutely no dogs on the couch or bed” rule. I just love cuddling her so much. There are few things that bring me as much joy as watching her nuzzle her face into my leg and listening to her little snores. I just sit there not moving for as long as i can taking in every moment.

sedatedcow420 Report

Final score:

13points

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Jessica SpeLangm 10 months ago

That's a bad secret, because it likely confuses the dog as to what is allowed and what isn't. Just sit on the floor with the dog if you want a cuddle. There WILL be a time when the dog jumps on the couch for a cuddle with hubby and he will be pi**ed about it and possibly hurt the dog getting it off the couch.

8points

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#33

“I’m Taking That One To The Grave”: 30 Things People Are Keeping Secret From Their Spouse What you're getting them as a gift.

CrabbiestAsp , Antoni Shkraba Report

Final score:

12points

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#34

“I’m Taking That One To The Grave”: 30 Things People Are Keeping Secret From Their Spouse Things that were told to you in strict confidence that don't relate to your partner

fermat9996 , SHVETS production Report

Final score:

11points

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LaserBrain 10 months ago

Of course. If someone tells you something in confidence, your partner is not an exception.

4points

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#35

Where you keep your secret stash of the good biscuits

Cisco800Series Report

Final score:

11points

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Zoe's Mom 10 months ago

That's cute. ,"the good biscuits".

0points

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#36

Abuse/trauma that happened to you. It'll be up to you to share that once you feel comfortable

minahmyu Report

Final score:

11points

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#37

“I’m Taking That One To The Grave”: 30 Things People Are Keeping Secret From Their Spouse Three different things here:
Secrets, private things, and surprises.

Secrets come from a place of fear, shame or guilt. You’re afraid of how they would react, guilty about the action, or ashamed of it.
No secrets.

Things can be private and do not need to be shared, but those are things that are not/should not be impactful to your partner, and if they ask, it’s up to you to share, with the understanding if you don’t there can be a loss of trust by both you and your partner.
They might lose trust in you sharing things and you’ll lose trust in them for not accepting that the private thing is not impactful/important to the relationship.

Lastly, there are surprises- these are just things that are hidden/concealed for a short time, like presents/gifts or trips etc.

Drac73521 , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

10points

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#38

Body count.

Dont ask. Dont tell.

HeadMacho Report

Final score:

10points

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Michael Largey 10 months ago

But telling is better than admitting that you can't remember.

0points

#39

That I didn’t actually play a good round of golf, it was total s**t, I hooked 90 percent of my drives, 4 putted half the greens, lost 10 balls, and swore I’d never play this stupid sport again. All she needs to know is it was good and I’d like to go again next weekend... please

frech77 Report

Final score:

10points

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THE COOL ZACH 10 months ago

I know it’s not my problem,but I would tell the truth. If you don’t want to go don’t go, but try to explain why you didn’t like it.(If you still don’t want to go).

0points

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#40

Me and my spouse both have careers involving protected information, so we keep a lot about our work days private.

I know people who have kept childhood trauma to themselves and didn't want their partners to know. I think that's fair.

squirrelgirl3000 Report

Final score:

10points

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Angrykitten 10 months ago

Trauma it depends. My trauma makes me flinch really easily. It was hurting my husband he thought I wad flinching because I thought he could hurt me. I had to explain it to him. So in some cases, especially when that trauma is affecting current behaviors it helps to disclose it

6points

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#41

the general rule is if the secret is being kept for their benefit and not for yours, it's ok to keep it.

willthesane Report

Final score:

10points

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LaserBrain 10 months ago

Um that looks like a slippery slope.

5points

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#42

“I’m Taking That One To The Grave”: 30 Things People Are Keeping Secret From Their Spouse That you prematurely threw out leftovers...and if my husband is reading this. No you didnt.

JessAN45 , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

9points

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WoodenLion 10 months ago

if i don't eat it quick! - it's gone. can't stop her

1point

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#43

“I’m Taking That One To The Grave”: 30 Things People Are Keeping Secret From Their Spouse Your Reddit ID

LogicalGold5264 , Brett Jordan Report

Final score:

9points

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MellonCollie 10 months ago

Hahaha lol. You surely mean your *second* Reddit ID ;-)

6points

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#44

I don't discuss my lingerie shopping with him. I keep it secret to surprise him.

VicePrincipalNero Report

Final score:

9points

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Michael Largey 10 months ago

In return, he keeps his lingerie shopping so secret that you don't even know about it.

0points

#45

“I’m Taking That One To The Grave”: 30 Things People Are Keeping Secret From Their Spouse Classified information

mtwstr , Dziana Hasanbekava Report

Final score:

8points

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#46

Gifts you have gotten them or are going to get them. Something that will ruin a lovely surprise (if they hate surprises, then spoil it and let them know they need to be surprised). The secrets of friends or family, unless they will impact your relationship negatively.
Details about previous partners, like secrets, insecurities, and stuff like that.
And I'm sure there are other things too. But I don't think there should be a lot of secrets in a relationship, but some are okay, and other things don't need to be mentioned even though they aren't really secrets.

GlitteringFrost Report

Final score:

8points

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#47

The fact that he has a small flat a*s...he doesn't need to know what parts of him I find unattractive.

MbMinx Report

Final score:

8points

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#48

What you’re reading (generally). My spouse does not need to know I read stupid romance and fairy books. He just knows I love to read fiction.

ethelmaepotter Report

Final score:

8points

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Heffalump 10 months ago

He knows.

0points

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#49

How much I actually spent on the kids at Target.

Now, we have separate accounts. My money is mine. His is his. Our bills are paid. But I can already hear the groaning he’d do if I admitted that every single thing I got was full price and NOT a good deal.

Simply saying “don’t worry, it wasn’t that much.” Seems to be our best bet.

SpicyMcdickin Report

Final score:

8points

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#50

Deployment zones in the military.

toadonthewater Report

Final score:

7points

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Guy Divorced 3 Years Ago Drops Off 3 Y.O. With His Ex-Wife Completely Out Of The Blue

#51

Depends on the relationship. It's whatever is agreed upon by both parties. There is no rule book. Things need to be defined most of the time or s**t will get real. A couples counselor I knew said this always causes issues. "Well of course you can't ___, everyone knows in a marriage you can't." But it's b******t. There is no rule book. Figure it out and talk it to death. What is cheating. Is dancing? What about a foot rub? What about nude images? P**n? Rub and tugs? Late night texting? Discuss it in depth.

IsItTurkeyNeckOrDick Report

Final score:

7points

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#52

Fast food pit stops without them or watching a show without them (and pretending like you haven't seen it yet while watching it with them.)

FizZGigTaNtruM Report

Final score:

6points

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Jessica SpeLangm 10 months ago

Hiding fast food runs is a bad idea. What happens if you get sick and it's because of the fast food? How are you going to lie to a medical professional about that and your spouse not find out?

2points

#53

If you went off to have a cheeky takeaway or snack without telling them.

Theobane Report

Final score:

6points

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LaserBrain 10 months ago

I'm sorry, don't get it. Why would having a snack be a secret?

3points

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#54

The answer to "Does this dress make me look fat?"

SunOS- Report

Final score:

6points

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THE COOL ZACH 10 months ago

Eh,tell the truth but try to cushion the fall as much as you can. Like not saying “fat” but still being honest and understanding.

2points

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#55

It’s really OK not to talk about every particle of your past. Some things need to be left behind and never spoken of again. Don’t ruin the image they have of you.

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Final score:

4points

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What do you think ?

ThisIsMe 10 months ago

Almost 20 years ago my husband planned a surprise birthday party for me, and I knew it. Couple of my friends helped him invite people and get me there, but it was all his idea. I heard him on the phone more than once, and I just rolled with it. To this day he brags about the only time he was ever able to surprise me, and I just smile and still roll with it.

digitalin 10 months ago

Once my husband bought me a present I really wanted and was kind of hard to find. I accidentally opened the package when it came, thinking it was something else. I quickly taped it back up and let it be a surprise.

Ruben Schelstraete 10 months ago

My partner is scared to death of spiders. I always have to kill them or put them outside. If I see one and my partner is not around I just leave the buggers do there thingy. If I would tell this, I’m dead.

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