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Sorry, parents, but your sons and daughters have secrets. Whether they don't want to upset you or are sick and tired of the "same old lecture," they keep some things to themselves. It's normal. And it doesn't mean they hate you or anything. Plus, there's a good chance that eventually they will open up to you. Probably. If you're treating them right.
Because as Reddit user 1quid_nurgget found out when they asked, "What is the biggest secret you've kept from your parents?", children often get back at their moms and dads by simply keeping their lives away from them. Yes, there were a few innocent answers, but they were mostly exceptions. Continue scrolling and take a look for yourself.
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#1
I told them that I was doing a extra on site learning course for uni in which I would be away for 31 days interstate. My husband sorted out the kids so he was fine.
I actually went to a residential rehab and got clean and sober. Didn’t tell them until I was released. They literally had no idea.
If you also are carrying big secrets with you, be careful. They hurt. Turns out, secrecy is associated with lower well-being, worse health, and less satisfying relationships. Researchers have been linking secrecy to increased anxiety, depression, symptoms of poor health, and even the more rapid progression of disease. The explanation for this is kinda intuitive: hiding secrets is hard work. You have to be careful with what you say and if people ask you about something related to the secret, you must not let it slip through. This requires evasion and/or deception, which can be really exhausting.
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#2
I make more money than I let on. My parents have and will always be the "I take care of you all your life, time for you to pay it back" type of parent. Except there is no end to this "debt". So I hide money from them so they can't take advantage of me
New research, however, suggests that the harm of secrets comes not from keeping it, but from having to live with it.
To better understand the harms of secrecy, scientists set out to understand what secrets people keep in the first place. They found that 97 percent of people have at least one secret at any given moment, and people have, on average, 13 secrets. A survey of more than 5,000 participants revealed that common secrets include preferences, desires, issues surrounding relationships and sex, cheating, infidelity and violations of others' trust.
The paper states that when a person confides a secret to a third party, it does not reduce how often they have to conceal the secret from others who are still kept in the dark. Rather, it reduces how often their mind ponders about the secret in irrelevant moments.
#3
That my sister is gay. She openly admits it to everyone, except for my family. She opened up to me, eventually but both my parents and older brother don't know about it. Since then we've become a lot closer than when we were kids.
Revealing a secret can feel cathartic and relieving. But mere catharsis may not be enough. When confiding a secret, the conversation that follows is what's really helpful. People report that when they share a secret with another person, they often receive emotional support, useful guidance, and helpful advice. These forms of support make them feel more confident and capable in coping with carrying the secret. So it's important to talk about what you're hiding. Even with the Internet. Anonymously. A single conversation can lead to a healthier mind.
#4
My mom always wondered why i didn't have friends in high school and it is because we were broke and I knew she was struggling so i refused anytime people wanted to do things so I wouldn't ask for money then in my last year of high school I worked full time so I had no time to make friends
Roman Hans 4 years ago
This could be me talking. Another anecdote: in high school, one class had a three-day field trip to Mexico. I remember the first restaurant stop we had where the teacher said of course we’d have to pay for all of our food. I had maybe $2 in my pocket.
#5
That I’m not going to finish my degree and I’ve paid off my student loans. My degree was pointless and I don’t do well in school due to my ADHD. My dad constantly asks when I’m going to finish and stop bartending...I just say soon. I hate disappointing them because my Dad gets very proud of my sister and I with our accomplishments...but truth be told, I’m quite content with the 60k I make bartending. My degree would've only pulled 35k starting.
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
Time to say, "Dad, I found my niche in bartending, and it means I have more money and less debt. That's a good thing." We're not all meant for college-degree-career-things.
#6
I am transgender. I haven't told literally anyone I know. I live in the bible belt in the south, and my grandfather is the pastor and owner of a fairly large church. I don't have any plans on telling anyone or transitioning until I move from the town I'm living in right now.
#7
My location for the past 25 years.
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
There are people in my family who haven't seen me in person for nearly 30 years, and I'm keeping it that way. Don't judge til you know why we hide. In my case, for my safety.
#8
I met the guy my mom told me was my real father. We did a DNA test and there is a 0% chance. He even took me on a white water rafting trip with his wife and son. I’ve never told her.
Lousha 4 years ago
Never liked the phrase "real parent" in this context. To my mind your REAL mother/father is the one who stuck with you and raised you and cleaned your bum when you were a baby. Biological parent is the one who contributed to your conception, but if that's all they did that doesn't make them an actual parent.
#9
That I was molested as a kid and suicidal for years afterwards. They knew I had a nervous breakdown Freshman year of High School and was suicidal at 15, they didn't know I'd been messed up since I was 10.
#10
They had no idea I left my job with the cable company to sell cars / write up oil changes for almost a year. I was emotionally burnt out from the bulls**t and couldn't take it anymore so I tried switching careers. Didn't really pan out, but it did get me away from that toxic s**thole of a company and allowed me to figure out what I actually wanted to do and go from there.
#11
My parents are very staunch Muslims. They raised me strictly in Islam and they figure that I’m a good Muslim like the rest of my siblings. I love my parents and they are good people, but I don’t have the heart to tell them that I’ve never really believed in religion and it only got worse when I got older and went to college. I don’t know how to keep this façade any longer because whenever I’m home I have to act as Muslim as possible, and I know if I would want them in my life I would have to follow Islamic traditions that just aren’t for me.
Martha Meyer 4 years ago
Maybe some of the siblings feel the same and are just pretending too?
#12
When I was 12 I saw emails on my mom's iPod touch. The emails were very suggestive and were between my mother and another man. I never told my dad that I saw those emails. I wish I did, because it turned out that she was cheating on him.
This is the first time I've mentioned it to anyone. It feels good to get it off my chest.
Megan Grey 4 years ago
That’s really hard, but please know that it wasn’t your job or responsibility to tell her.
#13
I want to be a dental surgeon, but my parents want me to go to school for a crackpot antivaxx "holistic" naturopathic doctor because they don't trust modern medicine. I'm afraid that if I tell them, They well refuse to pay for my college/dental school expenses, or worse, disowned.
#14
They have a grandchild.
#15
They don't know how depressed I actually am.
#16
My parents divorced when I was eight. My dad left, and I never saw much of him. Among other issues, he came out to my brother and I before they divorced. I never told my mother that he was gay. My father passed in 2011, my mother in 2017. I think she had an idea, but we never discussed it. He was born in 1945, before such a thing was accepted, and attempted at 'passing.'
Iulia stratulat 4 years ago
Why wouldn’t you tell? I can imagine that this would be a release of pressure on the parent that got dumped if they knew that it wasn’t their fault and it was just biology.
#17
That I'm a lesbian. And that that "friend" who I don't invite home anymore is actually my ex...
#18
Just how abusive my ex was.
#19
i just pay escorts to show as my 'girlfriend' so they would stop telling their friends to hook me up with their daughters.
every gathering they would show up meet everyone and always have to leave early.
i pay by hour.
#20
This isn't too bad, but I never really want to have kids. Maybe one day that might change, but I haven't told my parents as they both seem so happy to think that one day they'll be grandparents and that I'll be a mother and we'll all be happy and - Mum? I already have enough stress.
#21
That I thought I have mental problems but I keep pushing it down and trying to fix it myself, because I think that people will think its for the attention and it makes me question myself but I try to be normal.
Martha Meyer 4 years ago
Just go see a therapist. That's a neutral person, who won't think it's attention seeking.
#22
My mom has made derogatory comments about lesbian/bi women. I think that if I came out as bi she'd make it seem like she'd accept it, but deep down she wouldn't really. I don't think I'll ever be coming out fully.
#23
I recorded Gundam Wing: Endless Waltz over my sister's high school graduation video.
It's been about 18 years, but I still feel bad.
#24
I’ve read or written fan fiction since I was 16 years old. I have no idea what they thought I was laughing at on my laptop for the last ten years but I’m glad they didn’t know the truth. Some of it is preeeeetty explicit.
#26
When I was at Walmart with my mom, and I stole 2 of those big cartons full of Pokemon Cards. Took the cards and stuffed them in my backpocket. I planned the whole robbery a week before. I was the best robber at 9.
I'm lay sheep in China 4 years ago
Once me,my mum and Grandma was in a shop and they're selecting Jewelry for themselves while I was holding a Headpiece. It was quite expensive and that exactly moment Electricity goes off. We're wait for few minutes before Electricity came after shopping on the way to our house my mommy Was mad at me for returning that Headpiece to Shop staff anyway Guys don't let your kids teach to steal anything ;)
#27
I actually DID know why my laptop wasn't working. I spilt a fair bit of Jack Daniel's on it.
Nagawa (Cofa) Kishiki 4 years ago
So, your laptop was drunk. Just give it a night to sober up.
#28
My mum doesn't know I've been arrested twice, one time with my dad.
#29
I have an eating disorder. I’ve had one since I was 11, and I even went to the hospital for it. They still don’t know.
#30
I know that my mom’s cheating on my dad. He doesn’t know it’s happening (to my knowledge) and she doesn’t know that I know.
What do you think ?
lenka 4 years ago
So many people who are afraid to be themselves. So much pain and grief. I hope you all find your peace and place in life xoxox
S. 4 years ago
Thank you for your kind words. I wish the same for you too!
Load More Replies...
KombatBunni 4 years ago (edited)
That I’ve been homeless more times than I care to count and got sick to death of my mother and step dad saying oh you’ll find somewhere soon..for the last 15 years. Yet not lifting a finger to help and only giving me useless advice.
CatWoman312 4 years ago
I’m so sorry you have parents like that. You’re a supposed to be a parent for life. Being an adult doesn’t stop the necessity of being one.
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Jane Doe 4 years ago
I haven’t spoken to my parents or siblings for 7 years & I regret nothing. Cut out toxicity & racists from your life
Aunt Messy 4 years ago
I not only didn't see my father, I didn't talk to him even on the phone from 1981 until he died in 1997. I took endless harassment from my mother about it, but I have no regrets. I decided afterwards that she really WAS as toxic as he was (she stood by and let him beat me like a rented mule) and cut her off too. ///..../// Freedom.
Load More Replies... lenka 4 years ago
So many people who are afraid to be themselves. So much pain and grief. I hope you all find your peace and place in life xoxox
S. 4 years ago
Thank you for your kind words. I wish the same for you too!
Load More Replies... KombatBunni 4 years ago (edited)
That I’ve been homeless more times than I care to count and got sick to death of my mother and step dad saying oh you’ll find somewhere soon..for the last 15 years. Yet not lifting a finger to help and only giving me useless advice.
CatWoman312 4 years ago
I’m so sorry you have parents like that. You’re a supposed to be a parent for life. Being an adult doesn’t stop the necessity of being one.
Load More Replies... Jane Doe 4 years ago
I haven’t spoken to my parents or siblings for 7 years & I regret nothing. Cut out toxicity & racists from your life
Aunt Messy 4 years ago
I not only didn't see my father, I didn't talk to him even on the phone from 1981 until he died in 1997. I took endless harassment from my mother about it, but I have no regrets. I decided afterwards that she really WAS as toxic as he was (she stood by and let him beat me like a rented mule) and cut her off too. ///..../// Freedom.
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