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Honesty is a trait many people value greatly when it comes to relationships. Any kind of relationship really, friendships included. A 2022 study published in the Evolutionary Psychological Science journal revealed that people put honesty at the top when it comes to friends.
UK non-profit The Oddfellows conducted their own survey and found the same with people aged 60 and over. 45% of the respondents in a 2,000-people survey claimed that honesty is the most important trait among friends. Trust, loyalty, and dependability followed after.
Although we agree that being honest with people is paramount, we still keep secrets. They're not all in bad faith, of course; sometimes, we might do it to safeguard their peace of mind. But we like secrets in general, and we like reading about others' secrets even more. That's why when one netizen asked, "What secret are you currently hiding from someone that you're willing to share on Reddit?", over 16,000 people rushed in to read what folks had to say.
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#1
I've started to on occasion "accidentally" (but on purpose) not hang up my phone correctly when getting off a call with my daughter-in-law.
I then proceed to talk to my husband about how much I enjoy talking to her, how lovely I think she is, how glad I am that our son chose her, and whatever other boost I may think she needs.
She doesn't have any family that uplifts her, just the kind that tears her down.
I started doing this after my son told me about his wife coming to him in full-on snot tears, because I had once butt dialed her while talking to my husband about her. She stayed on the line to hear what I "really" thought of her, expecting the worst because that's been her experience of family.
Apparently she was quite touched by the things I said, and my son told me it gave her a confidence boost that lasted weeks.
So I do it more often now. Neither of them have any idea I do it on purpose, though. They just think I'm getting old and worse at managing my tech.
The user that asked this question, r/Asphoric, was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda. They told us what inspired them to inquire about other Redditors' secrets and shared their own secret that prompted this whole thread.
r/Asphoric tells us they had a secret of their own they happened to be hiding, which is why they wanted to know about other Redditors' secrets. The Redditor didn't anticipate how many people would share their dark secrets about feeling lonely and dejected.
"I asked the question knowing that people may say some dark/NSFW stuff, but to see the outpouring from everyone was really moving," they said. "I read a lot of comments that touched on a lot of difficult subjects. I felt both sad but also proud of everyone for having the courage to share what they did."
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#2
I told my best friend I won a holiday in a raffle and wanted her to come with me free of charge. We stayed in a nice hostel, did lots of fun activities and I paid for it all with a “pre paid credit card from the raffle”. I didn’t win anything, I booked it all myself and paid everything for her because she deserved a break and I knew she couldn’t afford it nor would she have accepted me paying for her. I would do it again 10x over, she deserves the absolute world.
#3
I won the lottery last month. Nobody knows. I hired a money manager and invested it all. My wife's birthday is next month and I plan to surprise her with the news that we are debt free and can retire immediately.
r/Asphoric doesn't think keeping secrets is an evil thing, and neither would they be a hard limit in relationships. "I think secrets are necessary and a part of human nature. They're certainly not a dealbreaker for me in relationships – if someone is comfortable enough with you, they'll open up. It just takes time."
The Redditor also agreed to share the secret that prompted the whole thread. "I had my girlfriend text me asking me to come over (even though I could not) so I could escape a miserable vacation with my family," the netizen shares. "I have not told my parents, and I don't intend to."
#4
I am the 7 accounts that donate to my cousins streams. Little man needs something positive and it's better if he thinks it's from internet strangers and not a sympathetic cousin.
Edit: For those telling me to link his stuff, I'm not going to. Not meant as an insult to the decent folk on here, but the internet is vile and I would like to spare him that as long as possible.
#5
I am a teacher, and I am off for the summer. I get to spend all that time with my daughter, age 4, and my son, who is not quite one yet. My wife works full time. My son is just starting to talk, and my wife and I have a friendly competition going to try to get him to say Dada or Mama first. What she doesn't know is that while she is at work, I spend the day talking about her and saying the word Mama a lot. We have been working on it together for weeks. The other day, she walked in the door after getting home from a long day, and he looked at her and said Mama clear as day. She was so happy and rubbed it in my face (playfully) that he said Mama first. Even did a little happy dance. I'll never tell her.
Edit: I'm going to edit since I can't respond to everybody: Thanks for all the kind words, and I am glad my little story has made so many of you happy!
Brittania Kelli 5 months ago
Yea, I had the opposite. Son's father worked over time to make sure our son's first word was Dada and he said it on Mother's Day.
#6
My brother bought chickens as his little organic farm was struggling. I had suggested an honesty box for the excess eggs - he spend hours making his own red barn shaped honesty box.
Eggs went on sale, crickets. Not much business at all. He was so defeated.
All of a sudden, once a week someone now calls by and buys all of his stock. Could be 10-12 boxes of eggs.
That someone, is me.
I buy the eggs.
#7
My husband has large feet, large enough that there are only a few places I can buy him shoes and since the in person place near me closed down they're pretty much all online. All this to say: his shoes are $$$$.
He also grew up poor. Like the kitchen floor was his bedroom poor. He stopped being able to find his shoe size in stores before he was in high school, and before he met me he always only had one pair of shoes at a time, and sneakers were his everyday/work/dress shoe. He even worked fast food jobs in regular sneakers because he couldn't find non slip in his size. And because getting each pair was so difficult and costly he'd often wear his shoes until they had holes in the soles before replacing them.
When he was studying to be a mechanic I got him a pair of steel toed boots for his birthday. I splurged and got a good brand that would last for years. He recognized the brand and knew what they sold for and he demanded I return them, he was planning on squeezing into cheaper, smaller boots and dealing with it. So I lied, said I had bought them months before during a sale. Got 'em at 40% off, then signed up for all their stuff for an additional 20% off.
I had paid full price.
I've bought him "sale shoes" several times since then. One time he even cried because I had gotten him a second pair of sneakers well before his old ones needed to be replaced. His shoes kept getting wet from some yard work he was doing and he'd have no choice but wear wet shoes around. His last pair of work boots showed up with the first pair of sandals he has owned in over 25 years, because there was a "BOGO sale" that I totally made up, I just wanted to get him sandals because we camp a lot and him using camp showers without sandals always grossed me out, but I had never managed to find a pair in his size until then.
brookeannsimmer 5 months ago
My grandmother took care of disabled adults and one named Alfred was a wonderfully kind man with severely disformed hands and feet, and this made normal shoes impossible for him to wear. A leather worker in our town, for over 20 years, made him custom shoes and only ever charged for the cost of the materials. Alfred passed many years ago, but we still use the same person for any and all repairs and alterations.
#8
I've been homeless for a while and I have a job interview at cvs tomorrow at noon. I'm so goddamn terrified. I need this job so badly. I'm desperate.
#9
Idunno about "hiding," per se, but I've never told anyone.
When I first moved to a new high school when I was 15, I ended up in a bad way very quickly with depression and such, like sleeping every hour of the day except for school kinda bad. That's not the story though.
I just felt like the school itself was really dreary and I didn't have any friends, so sometimes to just escape for few minutes I'd go to the bathroom that was usually empty during class and chill for a few minutes to gather my thoughts I guess.
Anyway, one time I wrote a post it note that said "You are beautiful :)" and slapped it on the mirror and left. Don't know why, just felt like I needed it, so someone else probably did too I guess?
When I came back to the bathroom the next day there were replies written on the note about how much someone had needed to hear that that day, etc etc. It made a dark time a little better to know I could make some other sad teenage girls at least smile maybe. I did it a few more times that year every month or so.
Lyone Fein 5 months ago
So many times when we are down we feel so alone. We don't realize that there are others around who are also feeling just as bad or worse.
#10
I split my cat's treats in half
She's a chonky girl... and she'll never know.
#11
I have rented a bouncy house water slide for my wife's 39th birthday. She has no idea.
#12
Im in debt and only eat once a day. i tried to end everything but when i ask for help in reddit. someone just saved me from hunger for me and my dog. it gives me hope that strangers would extend a hand for help.
#13
I haven’t been able to get over my dad’s death. Everyone has moved on, and it takes everything I have to get out of bed. I miss him so much.
Content Wombat 5 months ago
I feel you, my friend. When a loved one dies, you don't really get "over it" but the pain gets less raw as the years pass x
#14
I have a sweet one.
My father is convinced that lilies were my late mother's favorite flower, because their wedding venue was filled to the brim with them and she was supposed to be the one who picked the flowers. He got her lilies for every birthday, anniversary, and whenever she was in the hospital (my mother was in poor health most of her life). When she passed away, the funeral was full of lilies, and he still sometimes puts a vase of lilies beside her urn.
The thing is, my mother once confessed to me that lilies weren't her favorite flower. She was fine with them, but she preferred morning glories and sunflowers. My domineering grandmother, however, told her those weren't classy enough for a wedding and hounded her about it until my mom gave in and let her pick lilies. Mom was actually pretty wounded by how dramatic the floral arrangements ended up being - another big, showy way for her mom to say, "I'm right and you're wrong." When she later voiced this, my grandmother brushed it off with, "Please, no one's going to remember a thing about your wedding."
But my dad remembered. He got her lilies every day of their honeymoon, and by the end of the week she'd gone from annoyed to deeply touched. He didn't know the backstory, he just wanted to make her happy, and in doing so he kind of stripped the negative association away from them. She told me she liked that *he* gave her lilies more than flowers themselves. They turned from a symbol of being ignored to a sign that somebody was thinking of her happiness.
She swore me to secrecy, and I'll take it to the grave. RIP, Mom.
UPDATE: So as many of you have said, the "take it to the grave" line will mock me forever, because y'all convinced me to tell my dad today. As predicted, it only took a few hours to get a "this u?" text from a sibling, and we all quickly conferred and agreed I should call him in the morning.
And Dad's first reply? "Oh yeah, I know that, morning glories were her favorite. They just don't sell bouquets of those, so I'd get her the next best thing." Apparently she always said lilies were her favorite, but she talked about positive memories around morning glories so much that he put two and two together.
However, he had *no* idea that my grandmother chose the wedding flowers, and was kinda pissed to find out("Doesn't that just...sound like her?"😒). He wishes Mom said something, but figures maybe she didn't want to "win" and still end up thinking about a fight with her mom every time she looked at the flowers. He's touched to hear he made them special for her, but did say she often told him how much she appreciated it, just left out the stuff about the wedding. Interestingly, he thinks Mom actually exaggerated the honeymoon lilies; he's pretty sure he only gave her lilies twice, on the way out and on the way back home.
As I said in another post, Dad does not know what Reddit is and does not care to learn, but he thought it was nice that the story made people happy. Then he launched into telling me why I need to get a new car already, and the thread was lost lmao.
"Aw, that's good, see, you should send your little stories to the New Yorker or something! People will read them, I keep telling you!" - My dear old dad, who only vaguely understands what my side hustle is and has adorable faith in both me and the publishing industry as a result.
Dad did somehow completely miss that Mom liked sunflowers, to the point that I don't think he actually believes me ("Nah, I think you misunderstood, she liked that Van Gogh painting, that's what she meant." "The painting *of sunflowers,* Babo! That's why!"). But you can't win 'em all. 😂 Thanks for wrapping this up in a bow, Reddit!
#15
Sometimes I'm grateful that I woke up blind. I was a total workaholic and going blind was a nightmare that first summer, but the fact I couldn't work in nursing anymore-- ESPECIALLY post-covid-- did wonders for my mental health. I also realized how much I love hanging out with my 3 sons. I didn't know how much I loved their company until I wasn't working 50-60 hour weeks, mostly 3rd shift, so I hardly ever saw my kids. Being blind sucks, and I feel guilty sometimes for thinking that I prefer it to how things were before, but given the choice, I don't think I'd go back to being sighted, because that would mean the nightmare of working in nursing again and never seeing my husband and my kids.
Edit: to answer the most-asked questions...
I woke up with a disease called AZOOR. 131 people have it and it ate my retinas.
And for f**k's sake yall, I use a computer. I type with a keyboard and listen with TTS. It ain't rocket surgery. Blind folks use technology, same as yall lol
And if you asked me a question and I didn't answer it, sorry! There were a LOT of yall asking questions and I did my best to answer as many of yall that I could!
Agfox 5 months ago
For anyone interested: Acute Zonal Occult Outer Retinopathy (AZOOR) is characterised by sudden visual impairment, often presenting with scotoma (aka 'blind spot) and photopsia (seeing a light when not looking at a light) in young to middle-aged adults, showing a female predominance
#16
I am so content and happy with my life (kids, wife, job, health) right now that I feel guilt. I rarely share my contentment with people (other than my wife) bc of it. It’s not that I’m like fabulously posh, or don’t have issues or whatever, im just sincerely content in my security and modest comforts.
I feel like you can’t simply acknowledge that your life is perfect without drawing the ire of someone else.
#17
My nieces and nephew think our house's Internet gets really spotty after an hour. It's always when they're watching cartoons or YouTube Kids on the tablet, too.
They think they've got it figured out. I hear them explaining to eachother that it's just something weird our house does when too many devices are using the router, and it always comes back after fifteen minutes.
"Yep, that's exactly it," I assure them, impressed with their technical proficiency, whilst pushing the *block devices* button on our router's phone app.
They have absolutely no idea I can do that. And since that's the most effective way to put the tablets down and get them outside for a bit, I ain't tellin'.
#18
Every day, I fantasize about cashing everything in, leaving, and creating a new life for myself elsewhere... like a complete reinvention.
#19
For years, I’ve have always jokingly said that “I’m not a people person”. I really mean it. If I could get through a day without any kind of human interaction, I would be a very happy person. The thought of actually having to talk to people or be around them kind of ruins my day.
Ample Aardvark 5 months ago
I could go many days, even weeks, without any human interaction. I have to make a conscientious, some days huge, effort to talk to people
#20
I'm too burned out to function as a person outside of work anymore. Yes, I'll text my partner that I got home safe from work... but then I'll sit in the car and doom scroll or dissociate, sometimes up to an hour. I will also do this when I have to run errands. Just giant blocks of time I can't account for, pissed away.
I don't want to do this. I don't want to live like this. I don't know how to fix it.
Sue Denham 5 months ago
You've told us. Now tell someone else. And keep telling people until the right person helps you feel better. You deserve to enjoy life and it is possible.
#21
I just found out 2 of my direct reports will be fired soon because of the restructuring and I have to keep it a secret. They are both excellent employees who do not deserve this at all. I’ve decided I’m handing in my resignation next week after 14 years and no other job lined up. I just can’t look these people in the face. I’m not cut out for this corporate b******t.
Sava Hax 5 months ago
New and eager employees are extorted, given false compliments and büllshit titles like "Vice President of Extraneous Synergistic Initiatives and Interdepartmental Spreadsheet Coordination" and burn them out completely. They take pride in their work, thinking they're getting somewhere but they're not. After 6 years of doing this (yeah, personal experience if you didn't get it by now) and you threaten to leave, they'll just let you go. 🙂
#23
I'm pregnant!
It's still very early and I haven't shared with friends or family yet, but I'm overjoyed. After almost a year of trying, it's a hard secret to keep--I want to shout it from the rooftops!
#24
In 6th grade, I peed in a bottle of coca cola that had 1/4 of it's content remaining. You see, this a*****e of a bully often tries to forcefully take my snack during recess, so I handed him that bottle of cola. He did make a comment that it had an awful after taste, but nothing too crazy of a reaction. At that moment, I felt like I would burst into laughter, but if I did, he would suspect something was wrong with the cola. I also knew i would be in a world of trouble if the teachers knew I did something horrendous like that. So i kept my mouth shut and walked away. Till this day, I haven't seen him since 6th grade, and I'm currently in my first year of college.
#25
The heavy feeling of being lonely. It's not there all the time, it just hits you like an anchor sometimes. Don't have too many friends (mostly because I can be a difficult person to put up with). And its not like I want too many. Just want some company sometimes.
Luke Branwen 5 months ago
Uh, this one hit me hard. This profound loneliness. My friends live too far away and/or have lives where I'm just a minor element. When I say I yearn for a girlfriend, most people assume it's because of $ex, but in fact, I yearn for the company. I started writing to have at least these imaginary people to spend time with, but... okay, I'm ranting too much 😅
#26
Oh damn a lot of these are really dark, I am sorry for all of you and hope you get people that help you.
My secret is that I am in love with my roommate, but I am too afraid to tell her.
#27
When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered that I had resorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No. I believe his tissues has made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.
#28
I'm currently in federal prison, using an unauthorized device, enjoying Reddit.
Luis Hernandez Dauajare 5 months ago (edited)
Regardless of what you have or haven't done, I hope you find peace. And freedom soon, if that is on the cards...
#29
I'm NOT colorblind. When I was very young I didn't understand what colorblindness was. My dad is colorblind and I thought that automatically meant I was too. And apparently everybody did. I was maybe in high school before I actually took a test and... I aced it. But by then all my friends had been buying colorblind compatible versions of board games and we had all sorts of inside jokes about being colorblind. Honestly it's been a bonding moment with my friends. So I just haven't told them and I've kept up the ruse. For about 15 years now.
#30
That I have prostate cancer. I have told my siblings, and my next-door neighbor who also has it (we compare treatment options and progress - he chose radiation while i am considering surgery), but I feel like I would be garnering for sympathy if I shared it with more people that I know.
Edit - This blew up, I wasn't expecting that. Thanks to everyone for your responses, personal stories, and well-wishes. My neighbor is 83 and only had the option for radiotherapy or chemo. He chose the radiation. I am 70, and my options are radiation, surgery, and active monitoring thru mri and psa testing. Doctors all told me that radiation now would render me ineligible for surgery down the road if it comes back. My mri was PI RADS 4, and a biopsy returned 2 of 12 samples positive for cancer, all contained with the prostate, Gleason score 3+4. I hate the idea of not getting it out and possibly of it spreading to lymph nodes and/or bones. I'll go visit the surgeon tomorrow who has performed > 18,000 Robotic-assisted radical prostatectomies and has had excellent results and patient reviews. I hate everything about this, and I just want it all to be over with.
What do you think ?
Hannah 5 months ago
I work with a specific coworker who's got a million things wrong with her and she's in pain all the time but she works so so hard to get everything done and it's just... It's not enough. If the manager knew just how little she got done most days she'd fire her. So I give her a smaller list than I give my other cashier's, and when she leaves at the end of the night I stay an extra 2 sometimes 3 hours and finish what she can't. I've been doing this for nearly a year now, and as she's retiring in 4 months I will continue to do so until she leaves. I will never ever tell her.
Christopher Crockett 5 months ago
My cat received a big donut (a circular tunnel) as a gift, and to make sure she liked it, I laced it with some strong catnip. Every week when she's sleeping I clean the old catnip out and put some fresh stuff in. She LOVES it and thinks that the wacky weed just grows in it every week. I haven't the heart to tell her that it's me.
justagirl 5 months ago
oh she knows. she just doesn't care. nip is nip. either way she loves you in her one cattish way.
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Hannah 5 months ago
I work with a specific coworker who's got a million things wrong with her and she's in pain all the time but she works so so hard to get everything done and it's just... It's not enough. If the manager knew just how little she got done most days she'd fire her. So I give her a smaller list than I give my other cashier's, and when she leaves at the end of the night I stay an extra 2 sometimes 3 hours and finish what she can't. I've been doing this for nearly a year now, and as she's retiring in 4 months I will continue to do so until she leaves. I will never ever tell her.
Christopher Crockett 5 months ago
My cat received a big donut (a circular tunnel) as a gift, and to make sure she liked it, I laced it with some strong catnip. Every week when she's sleeping I clean the old catnip out and put some fresh stuff in. She LOVES it and thinks that the wacky weed just grows in it every week. I haven't the heart to tell her that it's me.
justagirl 5 months ago
oh she knows. she just doesn't care. nip is nip. either way she loves you in her one cattish way.
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