30 Bone-Chilling Messages From Stalkers Who Refused To Take ‘No’ As An Answer
InterviewWhile we tend to think of stalkers as cloaked men, following from the shadows, in the age of the internet, they tend to prefer to remain anonymous and at a greater distance, which is still cold comfort for the people who receive their thoughts, threats and “jokes” through text and email.
Netizens share all the weird and creepy texts that stalkers have sent them. Scroll through and comment your thoughts below. We also got in touch with KikiMay, a feminist content creator and communications specialist to learn more.
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Found On A Video Of A Stalker Who K**led A Woman That Rejected Him
Persistent Online Stalkers
Oh no. Another "nice guy" that's anything but.
"It Was 15 Times At Once Gosh. I'm Not A Stalker. You Guys Are Idiots"
Bored Panda got in touch with KikiMay, a feminist content creator and researcher and she was kind enough to answer some of our questions. First and foremost, we wanted to know why women tend to be the primary victims of stalkers.
“When you look at the fact that women are more than twice as likely to be stalked as men, that men are overwhelmingly the perpetrators of stalking, and that most women report knowing their stalker or being in an intimate relationship with him – you really can’t ignore the role that gender plays here. Men in the U.S. grow up in a patriarchal society that teaches and reinforces ideas about men being entitled to women’s bodies, and men as leaders or decision-makers who should be given deference and care.”
My Neck Bone Fetish Stalker Came Back Guys... Its Been Three Months Since He First Contacted Me
For A Minute I Thought This Was My Stalker Ex Boyfriend. Not Sure If I Should Feel Relief Or Not
Sent Flowers To My GF, Stalker Gets Upset And Calls Florist Who Then Gave Them My Name
Plot twist: HE is the stalker (hence not signing) and the "stalker" is actual boyfriend🤔
“When women reject men’s advances, it seems incongruous to the way men have been raised to think things “ought to be,” and one result of that is to not take no for an answer by stalking. It helps men regain that sense of control, and it also helps reinforce the idea with their victims that they should be afraid of them – and of men, in general – if they behave in ways that aren’t in accordance with traditional gender roles,” she shared with Bored Panda.
Wtf... Sure She Could Be Telling The Truth, Other Than That This Could Be A Stalker Ass Creep
My Stalker Has "Endless Numbers"
So I'm quick to block anything I don't recognize but will occasionally check my blacked messages folder to make sure I didn't block anyone other than him. I'm mostly just posting here just incase I disappear. I'm sure the local police are fatigued by him by now.
I Am Not A Stalker!
“We also can’t ignore the ways in which institutionalized sexism and misogyny helps men get away with stalking behaviors against women more often. Women are less likely to be believed by police officers and medical professionals. They’re often seen as overreacting, for instance – even though the vast majority of women who were stalked by an intimate partner were also physically or sexually assaulted by the same partner.”
Ngvc: "I'm Not Gonna Do Anything To You, I Just Think You're Really Pretty"
I recommend occasionally Googling your name and any usernames you use, also click on the images tab. I don't have much of an online presence now and don't use my real name, but when I was on social media, by checking my name on Google I discovered a gap in my security settings. My daughter thinks I'm nuts, so I check her name every now and then!
I’m Actually A Nice Stalker!
It puts the lotion on its skin, else it gets the hose again.
College Guys... I Mean This Is Stalker Level
“And then there’s the shame women feel – like they must have done something to cause this kind of behavior – because living in a society where sexism and misogyny are so interwoven into the fabric of our day-to-day lives means that victim blaming just seems normal. She should have chosen a better partner, she should have left the first time – but it's this very shame that allows them to be victimized more, because they often won’t report their stalking, or they’ll be more susceptible to gaslighting by their stalker about how they “made” him do what he’s doing. It’s a vicious cycle.”
Recently Gave A Dude Directions On A Street, Gave Him Fake # But He Caught On
I live and work downtown and am easy to find unfortunately. Guess I have a stage 5 clinger, even after rejection.
"I'm A Creepy Stalker, But You're A S**t Person If You Don't Want To Stay With Me!
Comment On A News Article. Teenage Girl Abducted By Her Stalker
From the other side, we wanted to hear why she thought many men were likely to engage in this sort of behavior. “I think I touched upon this in my first answer – growing up in a patriarchal society means that men feel entitled to women’s bodies, time, and attention – but I’ll try to expand here. Men often view relationships as transactional, so they’re thrown off-kilter if they buy a woman a drink or dinner and then they don’t get what they were expecting in return – which is usually sex or some form of physical intimacy – but can also just be praise or admiration.”
My Husband’s Obsessive Stalker Is Back, I Hope He Doesn’t Threaten Our Neighbors And Their Children Again. I Don’t Want Go Through That Again Especially At 22 Weeks Pregnant
Nice Guy Decides To Stalk Girl He Meets On Train. Then Gets Mad That She Doesn't Like Stalkers
The fact that he had already decided ‘they’ were going out proves that he lives inside his own head filled with his ideas of male entitlement and the idea that woman are dolls.
Or he's following some "alpha guide" that says that by acting that way he proves he's dominant and she'll submit (or some such nonsense). At least this one sounds like they're in similar social circles (maybe same school or college) as opposed to being complete strangers. That said, if he's *really* a friend of one of her's then surely a better way would have been to ask the mutual friend to pass his number to her. And that "I only dm girls I wanna pipe"... that's just class there 0_o
Load More Replies...If she is really lucky on thursday, she gets to be piped. And they say romance is dead.
Can we please get this f*****g FreeAndrewTate guy off of here, PLEASE!
at first since i didnt read this post all the way i was like, "whats wrong with getting a girls number from their friends?" then realized that he barely knows her so yeah.
It's still weird to get a number from friends.
Load More Replies...Why is she engaging in conversation with this creep? Block his number.
I would have asked where he got my # before identifying that it's creepy
Crazy Stalker Get Jealous When Seen With My Boyfriend
“When you grow up in a society where you are centered and privileged, where everything built – from the chair you’re sitting into the TV programs you watch and the stores you shop in – were specifically designed for you – it can be destabilizing to not get what you want. And for some, that destabilization leads to dangerous, unacceptable behaviors like stalking. For others, it goes a step further to violence.”
3 Years After I Blocked Him For Stalking Me
We went on one date. He made 7 fake profiles, stalked me at work, and home. Also faked his own death to get me to talk to his “friend” (aka another fake profile)
Clearing Out Old Paperwork And Came Across Harassment Records And Police Reports From My *mildly* Psychotic Stalker. Good Times
Asked A Stalker Type Guy To Leave Me Alone Because I Have A Boyfriend And This Was The Response I Got, Lmao
“We’ve already seen so many mass shootings motivated by men feeling they’ve not gotten what they’re owed by women – Elliot Rodger being among the most famous, who called his act a “day of retribution” for the women who rejected him. Men feel they deserve explanations for rejections or break ups – which is ironic, given that if their reaction to such things is to stalk, berate, assault, or abuse, it should be pretty evident why someone might not want to be with them.”
Stalker To The Max!
My Boyfriend’s Crazy Stalker
If at first you don't succeed, stalk, stalk again.
My Sisters Stalker Of 3 Years With A New Number After Being Blocked Everywhere Else
We inquired if she herself had ever dealt with these sorts of issues. “Luckily, I’ve never been the victim of stalking. Because I’m a feminist content creator, though, I’m no stranger to threatening and abusive DMs – from physical threats to threats of doxing, etc., and then just run-of-the-mill ad-hominem attacks using highly gendered language. And it’s sad to say – but most women, and especially most with feminist or social justice platforms – will be wholly unsurprised by this admission.”
My (Male) Friend's Stalker (Female) Is Nothing But Persistent And Straight To The Point
Ngvc: “It’s Unfair That All Women Only Go For Toxic Mascular Guys But Going For Famous ‘Feminime’ Guys Is Unfair Too”
"I swear I don't hate Asians, I actually like Asians, I just hate women!" Nutjob.
Went To A Game Store For A Figure, Came Out With A Stalker
“In fact, it’s just seen as something that comes along with the territory. Though we can acknowledge it’s unacceptable, we can also acknowledge how normalized it’s become and how little is done to stop it from social media platforms, authorities, or Government Institutions. I think it’s also important to note that as a woman, I’ve also dealt with my fair share of entitled men IRL who’ve hounded me – whether through text messages or in-person – for sex, dating, and attention. And oftentimes, as a woman, you’re forced to weigh whether it’s worth it to say no or if acquiescing simply feels safer. Because if we’ve learned anything, it’s that bruising a male ego can have life-altering or life-ending consequences.”
She left us with these partying thoughts: “I’d love to bring up a really important point that Cornell professor and feminist author “Kate Manne discusses in her book, Entitled: How Male Privilege Hurts Women. She says that the misogyny that leads to behaviors like stalking, rape, and assault is not about dehumanizing women and thinking of them as prizes or rewards. That makes it seem like because men don’t see women as human, that’s the excuse for them perpetrating these behaviors. It almost removes them from the deeply personal nature of their crimes. But the reality, she says, is that interpersonal violence is a thing you do to persons, not to inanimate objects.”
Stalker And Person Who Sa'ed Me Forgave Me
My Friend Sent Me These Messages From Her Stalker
I Know You Found My Reddit Too You Fkn Stalker. Leave Me Alone. Texts From January And Instagram Messages From Last Week
Some of those were female stalkers, so I'd say Its a scary world out there...
Load More Replies...What gets me most in this thread is the entitlement a lot of men seem to feel. As if a woman should ALWAYS be interested in a guy as long as he makes a move, or as long as he makes the right moves. She just needs to accept him and if she doesn't she's confused or a s**t, she shuold not make decisions like that. "Hey I WANT you so I should HAVE you" as if a woman is a car or somethng.
That's the incel way. They think they deserve a woman, as in, "I have a right to one to a girlfriend," way. Like it's some basic human right that they are being denied.
Load More Replies...It's scary to see how many guys don't handle rejection well at all.
Okay...don't hate me for saying this, but WTF is wrong with men?! Yes, I know, women can be stalkers. But when was the last time you heard of a woman going into a crowd and shooting men just because of their gender? When was the last time you heard of a woman attacking a guy in an alley because he "dressed sexy?" Yes, men can be victims. But while somewhere around 80-90% of stalkers are male. Around 97% of females over the age of 20 report being victims of unwanted sexual advances. That leaves just 7% of males. The question is...what is wrong with men? Why do so many men feel they have the right to demand attention from a woman? Why can't these creeps not understand the word NO? Why aren't more "good men" standing up for women?
"Why aren't more 'good men' standing up for women?" Because challenging the status quo and dismantling the patriarchy also means they will no longer benefit from said patriarchy.
Load More Replies...A person I knew asked me out 4 times, and I said no each time. I told him I’m just not ready for dating yet. He started stalking me, and followed me everywhere trying to convince me that he’s “the one.” I told my parents, and other adults, but no one took me seriously cause he wasn’t an adult (I was 14, he was 16.) He came to my door daily. Eventually his parents stepped in and made him stop, but that f*****g sucked until they did.
Men like this have terrible listening comprehension skills. They hear "I'm not ready for dating yet", they think it means "I'll be ready for you soon". They hear, "I have a boyfriend", they think it means "as soon as I don't have a boyfriend, I'm yours". We have to be super clear and unambiguous for them to get the message - and even then, it sometimes doesn't work. They hear "No", they think it means "yes, but I'm playing hard to get". Smh
Load More Replies...I'm glad I'm physically unattractive to 99.9% of people
Well, perhaps if you ask Godzilla very nicely to give you back your pants and put them back on.... ;)
Load More Replies...Am I the only one who wants to find all of these stalkers, get them in one place and talk? Relax. I just want to talk to them with the sharpest knife I own.
I've been stalked at least once, as a man. It's less scary for us, usually, and more just annoying. But, you still never know what is going to happen. Whether they're going to ambush you, send a flying monkey after you, or try to sabotage your life in some scary, messed up way. Sometimes people are so broken and if it weren't scary it would be monumentally sad.
Long before cell phones I lived in a townhouse… the building next to me (nit part of my building) was similar.. I had taken my blinds down to replace them and noticed you could see right across into the other units window. This was my guest bedroom. I was putting that new ones up at night and there’s this guy staring at me naked jerking off 😳 I was 24, living alone and freaked out. I shut the light off and wouldn’t go back in there. The next morning I decided to report it. As I’m in my kitchen, I notice a note taped to my window with “ I’m your neighbor and would love to meet you” with his phone number. You can only access that window with a ladder since it’s about 10 feet off the ground. My blood went cold. I called the police and reported it. They came over, I told them what else happened and filed a restraining order immediately. They went to talk to him and he said “ he was just trying to meet me” 😳😳. I started having my guy friends and cousin stay with me.. I was so scared.
That is terrifying, I am so sorry you have to deal with that. I had a guy ask for directions when I was on a walk and was jerking off when I walked up. It was disgusting but at least I never had to see him again. Stay safe out there.
Load More Replies...It's bad situation with men too. My friend blocked her. She called his friend and said, if he wouldn't call her back, she will call police and tell he robbed her. She stalked him more than five years!
And men still have the audacity to tell us to "jUsT sAy No!". We know how to say "no", we *DO* say no; too many men don't accept 'no' for an answer (and that's not getting into the countless news stories of men who have physically/sexually assaulted and even murdered women for telling them no, or incels going on shooting sprees to get revenge on women for refusing to have sex with them).
So, if you want to know how to not get a woman... na, y'all, these f*****s are sick.
I had someone in my life who was long-distanced but still managed to become codependent on me. Memorized my work schedule to text me as soon as I took my break or clocked out. If I asked for an hour of phone silence, he literally waited an exact hour and message right on cue. At some point, he dyed his hair the same color as mine and said he wanted to match his "bestie." Whenever I became spiritual, he did too. I got into a certain music album, that is ALL he would listen to for weeks. I was stupid for letting the "friendship" last as long as it did and am happy that it's been years without contact.
Ok so I think it's time to retire to the mountains and completely cut off contact with the outer world
Sometimes I'm sad that I'm alone because I'm fat & ugly. Then I read things like this & realize I'm much better off. JFC....
I'm really surprised none of the guys got beaten up by friends or family. I wonder how often that happens.
Ppl like that isn't just attracted with a person to the rest of their life. It's a state of mind, sickness. They get cautious with time.
Load More Replies...It's interesting how many of these creeps are only basically literate.
and the sad thing is there is nothing we can do about it. we can carry, we can run, but they still come after us. ive gone so far as to tell men i have STDs like seriously deadly STDs, yall know which ones i mean. and they still try to come on to me. what the hell is wrong with them?
I tell my cat not to bite me because I'm nice to her. I also tell everybody she only hit or bit me because I didn't take care sufficiently. And that she does so because she loves me. After all, I'm the only one she bites ... and the only one she curls up to. But then again, if a human does what we expect from a cat, they're far into stalking already ... so ... well ... uh ... she loves me. I know she does.
People should learn to manage their privacy settings. I'm male, so probably not as likely to be stalked but any online profile I have, I try to close off as much info as possible, except to direct contacts (and I don't just add anyone). Saying that, in the past there was more emphasis on protecting personal data 10+ years ago when i created my facebook account, now it seems that people are willing to share practically everything, which is dangerous.
Load More Replies...Some of those were female stalkers, so I'd say Its a scary world out there...
Load More Replies...What gets me most in this thread is the entitlement a lot of men seem to feel. As if a woman should ALWAYS be interested in a guy as long as he makes a move, or as long as he makes the right moves. She just needs to accept him and if she doesn't she's confused or a s**t, she shuold not make decisions like that. "Hey I WANT you so I should HAVE you" as if a woman is a car or somethng.
That's the incel way. They think they deserve a woman, as in, "I have a right to one to a girlfriend," way. Like it's some basic human right that they are being denied.
Load More Replies...It's scary to see how many guys don't handle rejection well at all.
Okay...don't hate me for saying this, but WTF is wrong with men?! Yes, I know, women can be stalkers. But when was the last time you heard of a woman going into a crowd and shooting men just because of their gender? When was the last time you heard of a woman attacking a guy in an alley because he "dressed sexy?" Yes, men can be victims. But while somewhere around 80-90% of stalkers are male. Around 97% of females over the age of 20 report being victims of unwanted sexual advances. That leaves just 7% of males. The question is...what is wrong with men? Why do so many men feel they have the right to demand attention from a woman? Why can't these creeps not understand the word NO? Why aren't more "good men" standing up for women?
"Why aren't more 'good men' standing up for women?" Because challenging the status quo and dismantling the patriarchy also means they will no longer benefit from said patriarchy.
Load More Replies...A person I knew asked me out 4 times, and I said no each time. I told him I’m just not ready for dating yet. He started stalking me, and followed me everywhere trying to convince me that he’s “the one.” I told my parents, and other adults, but no one took me seriously cause he wasn’t an adult (I was 14, he was 16.) He came to my door daily. Eventually his parents stepped in and made him stop, but that f*****g sucked until they did.
Men like this have terrible listening comprehension skills. They hear "I'm not ready for dating yet", they think it means "I'll be ready for you soon". They hear, "I have a boyfriend", they think it means "as soon as I don't have a boyfriend, I'm yours". We have to be super clear and unambiguous for them to get the message - and even then, it sometimes doesn't work. They hear "No", they think it means "yes, but I'm playing hard to get". Smh
Load More Replies...I'm glad I'm physically unattractive to 99.9% of people
Well, perhaps if you ask Godzilla very nicely to give you back your pants and put them back on.... ;)
Load More Replies...Am I the only one who wants to find all of these stalkers, get them in one place and talk? Relax. I just want to talk to them with the sharpest knife I own.
I've been stalked at least once, as a man. It's less scary for us, usually, and more just annoying. But, you still never know what is going to happen. Whether they're going to ambush you, send a flying monkey after you, or try to sabotage your life in some scary, messed up way. Sometimes people are so broken and if it weren't scary it would be monumentally sad.
Long before cell phones I lived in a townhouse… the building next to me (nit part of my building) was similar.. I had taken my blinds down to replace them and noticed you could see right across into the other units window. This was my guest bedroom. I was putting that new ones up at night and there’s this guy staring at me naked jerking off 😳 I was 24, living alone and freaked out. I shut the light off and wouldn’t go back in there. The next morning I decided to report it. As I’m in my kitchen, I notice a note taped to my window with “ I’m your neighbor and would love to meet you” with his phone number. You can only access that window with a ladder since it’s about 10 feet off the ground. My blood went cold. I called the police and reported it. They came over, I told them what else happened and filed a restraining order immediately. They went to talk to him and he said “ he was just trying to meet me” 😳😳. I started having my guy friends and cousin stay with me.. I was so scared.
That is terrifying, I am so sorry you have to deal with that. I had a guy ask for directions when I was on a walk and was jerking off when I walked up. It was disgusting but at least I never had to see him again. Stay safe out there.
Load More Replies...It's bad situation with men too. My friend blocked her. She called his friend and said, if he wouldn't call her back, she will call police and tell he robbed her. She stalked him more than five years!
And men still have the audacity to tell us to "jUsT sAy No!". We know how to say "no", we *DO* say no; too many men don't accept 'no' for an answer (and that's not getting into the countless news stories of men who have physically/sexually assaulted and even murdered women for telling them no, or incels going on shooting sprees to get revenge on women for refusing to have sex with them).
So, if you want to know how to not get a woman... na, y'all, these f*****s are sick.
I had someone in my life who was long-distanced but still managed to become codependent on me. Memorized my work schedule to text me as soon as I took my break or clocked out. If I asked for an hour of phone silence, he literally waited an exact hour and message right on cue. At some point, he dyed his hair the same color as mine and said he wanted to match his "bestie." Whenever I became spiritual, he did too. I got into a certain music album, that is ALL he would listen to for weeks. I was stupid for letting the "friendship" last as long as it did and am happy that it's been years without contact.
Ok so I think it's time to retire to the mountains and completely cut off contact with the outer world
Sometimes I'm sad that I'm alone because I'm fat & ugly. Then I read things like this & realize I'm much better off. JFC....
I'm really surprised none of the guys got beaten up by friends or family. I wonder how often that happens.
Ppl like that isn't just attracted with a person to the rest of their life. It's a state of mind, sickness. They get cautious with time.
Load More Replies...It's interesting how many of these creeps are only basically literate.
and the sad thing is there is nothing we can do about it. we can carry, we can run, but they still come after us. ive gone so far as to tell men i have STDs like seriously deadly STDs, yall know which ones i mean. and they still try to come on to me. what the hell is wrong with them?
I tell my cat not to bite me because I'm nice to her. I also tell everybody she only hit or bit me because I didn't take care sufficiently. And that she does so because she loves me. After all, I'm the only one she bites ... and the only one she curls up to. But then again, if a human does what we expect from a cat, they're far into stalking already ... so ... well ... uh ... she loves me. I know she does.
People should learn to manage their privacy settings. I'm male, so probably not as likely to be stalked but any online profile I have, I try to close off as much info as possible, except to direct contacts (and I don't just add anyone). Saying that, in the past there was more emphasis on protecting personal data 10+ years ago when i created my facebook account, now it seems that people are willing to share practically everything, which is dangerous.
Load More Replies...