Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
158Kviews
“What Screams Insecurity But Most People Don’t Realize It?” (30 Answers)
Interview With Author
Ruminating on the most trivial things, having a bad self-image, dreading failure, coping with social anxiety, continuously seeking reassurance – all of this is only a minor portion of what we call "insecurity." It's a universal part of the human condition, and while there's no one-size-fits-all cause for this incredibly dreadful state, it's safe to say that a fair share stems from trauma.
But here’s the thing, insecurity is complex.
Sometimes you can tell that someone has poor self-esteem by their speech, mannerisms, and even their posture, in certain cases. But there are also those who excel at disguising it. So, are you curious to know about the signs of insecurity that are not as evident?
“What screams insecurity but most people don’t realize [it]?” – this internet user sought out one of Reddit’s most insightful and thought-provoking communities, asking its members to reveal obscure behavioral traits that indicate that someone lacks confidence. The thread managed to garner nearly 40K upvotes as well as 16.7K comments containing some intriguing answers.
More info: Reddit | Zara-Dee's Instagram
This post may include affiliate links.
Now, to find out more, Bored Panda decided to reach out to Zara-Dee, a professional who supports people in building confidence and trust from within, so they can be themselves, do what they want to do, and live life regret-free and on their terms.
"Our composition as a human is based on our values and beliefs and these begin to form in childhood. I believe it is the same for self-esteem. It is built upon learned experience and the relationship we have with ourselves. If we feed ourselves with unkind, negative thoughts from a place of insecurity, inevitably our self-esteem will suffer," said Zara-Dee when we pondered why people struggle with self-confidence.
We then questioned our expert on how to deal with insecurity: "You must first accept and acknowledge how you feel. Only when you recognize you are acting from a place of insecurity can you take steps to move forward. Challenge your internal dialogue and begin to show yourself some love and kindness. Focus on your strengths, qualities, and achievements, and begin to practice gratitude daily."
RELATED:
#2
Revving an engine in front of a bunch of strangers who could care less about cars or motorcycles
Phil Green 2 years ago
The phrase is, "couldn't care less". If you say "I could care less" you are suggesting that, possibly, there are worse things.
The thread's author, a 19-year-old college student, also offered his input.
"I've recently graduated from schooling and entered a university where I'm now moved in and staying with the other dorm students. Now that I'm facing new people, I’ve been constantly noticing them acting on their insecurity, so I was interested in knowing more about the way people act," the netizen responded when we asked about the inspiration behind the post.
BP then invited the fresher to answer his own question: "i) Talking bad about someone who's better than them behind their back to feed their ego. ii) Always showing off their 'cool things' to get people's attention and feel they're better than others. iii) Buff dudes wearing tight shirts and posing near the girls. Yeah, it happens a lot here. As a buff dude myself, I'd say while dressing as one wishes is not bad at all, making one's physical traits their whole personality screams insecurity, at least to me."
#3
when they can give you s**t all day but can’t take it back whatsoever
Well, now that we've tackled insecurity from a professional point of view, gone through the author's commentary, and collectively agreed (right?) with the “buff dudes” remark – let's finally move on to the article!
#4
Ridiculing other people’s achievements
Headless Roach 2 years ago (edited)
While all they ever achieved themselves is grow old (not to confuse with grow up)
#5
Never apologizing
Some people will twist the story, change the way it happened and retell it so convincingly that they’ll believe their own nonsense but will never apologize
#6
When you achieve something or improve your life in any way, and their first instinct is to tease or make fun of you, it actually screams instant jealousy.
#7
Huge wedding. My sister and her husband spent $70k.
Divorced in 9 months.
Hill Branda 2 years ago
I'll never understand why you would spend that much money for a party that only lasts a few hours. You could've spent it on the down payment for a house, and your marriage might have lasted a bit longer without all that crippling debt.
#9
Mocking other people’s physical features or personal character traits.
We get it, you’re projecting.
Hill Branda 2 years ago
Making fun of someone's physical flaws is just basic cruelty. Full stop.
#10
Taking a situation that was never about you or had you involved in it and somehow making it all about yourself and playing victim(even tho you had meddle in it and make yourself the" victim ")
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago
Or trying to make some uninvolved person at fault for the situation.
#11
1. Wearing massive designer logos such as Phillip Plein on everything
2. Bragging about money/girls
3. Lying about the smallest and meaningless things
4. Changing their views and principles based on who they speak to in the hope they’ll be liked
#13
Posting pictures of yourself with tons of filters on
Headless Roach 2 years ago (edited)
Yes, if your brows look like they are ready for take off - you might have overdone the touch up. Edit: brows, not brews 🙃
#14
In terms of leadership, it's when someone can't (or won't) take input from the rest of their team and tries to act like they have all the answers. I was this type of insecure leader once and I thought that if I used the idea of someone with less experience then everyone would think I was a weak leader. But after I was removed from that position I had to work for a lot of managers who did a lot of the same stupid s**t that I was doing but magnified due to years of insecurity/habit/karma.
I have since learned that if I hear people out, discuss a course of action, go with other people's ideas, and especially give them credit you gain exponentially more influence and respect. That even people who have little experience should have their input considered. I feel horrible for the people who had to work with me, but now I don't just act like a more capable leader, I am a more capable leader.
Shakespearean TL;DR "Take every man's censure, but reserve thy judgement."
Miss Frankfurter 2 years ago
Insecure leaders are more commonly known as “bosses”. Leaders don’t boss. They don’t want to. They don’t need to.
#15
Not listening. Preparing the next smart thing to say without listening to what the other one is saying .
#16
Those handshakes that are firm to the point you wonder if they're actually trying to hurt you
#17
The incessant need to compare.
Hill Branda 2 years ago
I think it's hard not to do when you have low self-esteem--you feel as if you're always less than everyone else. What really boggles my mind is those who have to point out others' failures to make themselves feel bigger somehow.
#18
Selling NFTs of yourself.
#19
Being loud and domineering in every conversation.
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago
Arguing by shouting the other person down doesn’t mean you won the argument. It just means you’re a loud and obnoxious A*****E.
#20
The three I always look out for are:
1. Overt displays of intelligence/prowess.
2. Belittling others.
3. A need to closely monitor the behaviour of others.
Cassi Lyris 2 years ago
So here's the thing about intelligent people, they don't tend to go around bragging about how smart they are. Beyond maybe the necessary wall diplomas in their office it's just not a thing. The same goes for belittling and trying to control people. These are all overt signs of insecurity and projection.
#22
Explaining how smart you are.
Benita Valdez 2 years ago (edited)
Ugh I had a "friend" years ago who just went on and on about how smart they are, how many books they read, how much "knowledge" they can retain, blah blah blah. No Mike, you're not a fůcking genius you just have a good memory. I can appreciate you have a good memory but just because you can retain an encyclopedia worth of info doesn't mean you're smart. If you can't explain the facts you're spewing out then you don't really know and understand them; look it up yourself tells me you dont really know. His nickname was actually neckbeard and this was before the whole neckbeard incel thing; he had a neck beard and really was an incel though.
#23
When they can’t make fun of themselves
Edit: holy yes the opposite is just as bad I know. I’ve literally gotten that same comment about 100 times 😭 please stop redditors, my notifications can’t handle it
Headless Roach 2 years ago
... while my Bored Panda eyes can't handle copy from reddit without edits.
#24
People who wear ridiculous clothing on ridiculous prices just to show off they are well off financially. Usually young people.
TailsFangirl03 2 years ago
As a young person, yes, this is ridiculous. And it's funny that I'm saying this because I'm insecure lol. (But I don't do this)
#26
Insecurity can manifest in different ways and can be difficult to detect, as people often try to hide or cover up their insecurities. Some common behaviors or actions that may indicate insecurity include:
Seeking constant validation or reassurance: If a person constantly seeks validation or reassurance from others, it could be a sign that they are insecure and unsure of themselves.
Putting others down: People who are insecure may try to make themselves feel better by belittling or putting others down.
Overcompensating: Someone who is insecure may try to overcompensate by boasting or exaggerating their achievements or abilities.
Being overly critical of themselves or others: Insecurity can sometimes lead to excessively criticizing oneself or others.
Being overly defensive: If a person becomes defensive or reactive when their beliefs or actions are questioned, it could be a sign of insecurity.
It is important to remember that everyone experiences insecurity at some point in their lives, and it is a normal part of being human. However, it is important to address and work on insecurities healthily to promote personal growth and well-being.
/ai
Nykky 1 year ago
I have done all of these except belittle those beneath my situation and luck. Intentionally or not, I have done them. I've been working on it, but it's just...difficult. never getting validation for anything, never being complemented on things you've achieved, acting like what you've done won't matter in a month...it gets to you after 30 years.
#27
Trying to justify every “mistake”, usually its minimal, but once you notice someone that does it, you just cant stop noticing it when they do it
#28
Obsessing over hierarchies, or who is 'ahead' and who is 'behind' in life.
#29
purposely waiting a long time to text back so you don’t seem “desperate”
#30
When they found a point that makes them look better than the other person and continue to overstay on that point.
Edit: The situation is subjective, and I’m talking about the situation whereby the person punches down on someone to make themselves feel good. I did not mean for a person who requires positive affirmations.
What do you think ?
Nathaniel 2 years ago (edited)
I have counted at least 20 of these that fit a certain former US president. The selling NFTS of yourself being the newest one.
sofacushionfort 2 years ago
A (very) different US president, Harry Truman, said this: “It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you don’t care who gets the credit.”
Load More Replies...
Rabbit Lord 2 years ago
It's been written there but in other words like "giving youself titles" and stuff.
Load More Replies... Nathaniel 2 years ago (edited)
I have counted at least 20 of these that fit a certain former US president. The selling NFTS of yourself being the newest one.
sofacushionfort 2 years ago
A (very) different US president, Harry Truman, said this: “It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you don’t care who gets the credit.”
Load More Replies... Rabbit Lord 2 years ago
It's been written there but in other words like "giving youself titles" and stuff.
Load More Replies... Related on Bored Panda
