Pure gold.

This needs to be way hi er

😂

I had a 90 years old professor emeritus when I went to university, he didn't want to retire because his wife was a "talker" . He had one class a week and the rest of the time he was napping in his office.

awww, what a supportive little bro

Now teach them to say "nevermore".

Believable.

Attack of the Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons

🤔

Now I need something to help fold them when they're clean & need to be put neatly in the cupboard

Very specific and pretty accurate, well done

Oh, how deeply I hope both of these are true - especially the second one.

OMG! This is hilarious!

happiest thing i've seen today oml

This is otterly cool and adorable

Ha ha

Yeah, but have you seen swans in their non-cuddly phase? It isn't very pretty. Don't ask me to explain; I had a bad experience once.

Paradoxes abound!

I freakin’ love the British 😂💕

Like my brain when I get stressed.

YES! I get so annoyed when people say "kids aren't taught this in school" bc in most cases, we are, people just don't pay frigging attention

*puts my body out with the bins*

Mine does this. All the time. And, guess what? I go to bed.

My cats are the other way around: if they find what I watch on TV annoying (or just feel like it, who knows, they're cats after all) they eff off into the bedroom. When I'll eventually join them, they'll eff back off to the living room, since I disturbed them in their sleep. Jokes on them, tho, because I turned the heating down there, so they come back 5 minutes later, because "the can opener, bother that he may be, also provides warmth". 🤣🤣

Must be related to our cat.

The Dog Has Spoken.

My cat likes to sleep where I sat on the couch after I've gone to bed. If I stay up too late, he tries to shove me off of the sofa so he can have "his" sleep spot.

My dogs have always gone to bed by themselves. Usually 9:00. Chip, my current dog will go to sleep on my lap then wake up suddenly, looking at me as to say, "what the Hell is going on ? Where am I?" Then he goes off to bed. We share a pillow. He loves pillows and will wrinkle up a blanket to make one.

My mom and dad had 2 long hair dachshunds and always went to bed after the 10:00 o'clock news, except on Friday and Saturday. Then they might watch a movie or something. The dogs would wait at the foot of the stairs. As the dogs got older the less patient they got. Around 10:30 or so they'd go by themselves.

Mine just sits and stares at me, without a word.

When a dog has a routine, you stick to that routine.

I had a cat who did that.

My birds do the opposite. They expect me to be on the couch. All the time. Day and night. As soon as I move around, they scream, lol.

Best. Parents. Ever.

I used a bidet once with the coldest temperature by accident. Man, I hit the high notes for days.

Cat trap

I understand it...sort of. Just let me get another glass of wine.

Fat bottom girls, you make the rockin world go round 🎶

I'm stealing this

Oof

My mum did this, but with one of her perfumes (Sung by Alfred Sung). Now that I’m adult it’s my main perfume too because it makes me feel nice and cozy when I smell it.

You mean that isn't how they make tiramisu?!

I suspect my horses to use the same technique, I keep getting ads from the feed shop.

Omfg 😂

now put some witch legs with red slippers sticking out from underneath

Was trying to pull the blanket over me last night but it was stuck. Turns out my cat was snuggled up in it.

They'll be getting them in braille soon.

Oh, deer. Good thing Santa staged that intervention before the bullying got out of hand.

Tell her to do another one, just to make sure.

Ya kind looks that way

VINDICATION every underachiever can savor!