Pure gold.

😂

This needs to be way hi er

Attack of the Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons

Now teach them to say "nevermore".

🤔

awww, what a supportive little bro

This is otterly cool and adorable

Believable.

I had a 90 years old professor emeritus when I went to university, he didn't want to retire because his wife was a "talker" . He had one class a week and the rest of the time he was napping in his office.

OMG! This is hilarious!

Now I need something to help fold them when they're clean & need to be put neatly in the cupboard

Fat bottom girls, you make the rockin world go round 🎶

Yeah, but have you seen swans in their non-cuddly phase? It isn't very pretty. Don't ask me to explain; I had a bad experience once.

Very specific and pretty accurate, well done

*puts my body out with the bins*

YES! I get so annoyed when people say "kids aren't taught this in school" bc in most cases, we are, people just don't pay frigging attention

happiest thing i've seen today oml

Paradoxes abound!

You mean that isn't how they make tiramisu?!

Like my brain when I get stressed.

Oh, how deeply I hope both of these are true - especially the second one.

They'll be getting them in braille soon.

Oof

My mum did this, but with one of her perfumes (Sung by Alfred Sung). Now that I’m adult it’s my main perfume too because it makes me feel nice and cozy when I smell it.

Poor thing has got Peyronie's disease.

Was trying to pull the blanket over me last night but it was stuck. Turns out my cat was snuggled up in it.

I used a bidet once with the coldest temperature by accident. Man, I hit the high notes for days.

I'm stealing this

now put some witch legs with red slippers sticking out from underneath

I suspect my horses to use the same technique, I keep getting ads from the feed shop.

I understand it...sort of. Just let me get another glass of wine.

Cat trap

I freakin’ love the British 😂💕

"Unexpected item in the bagging area. "

Best. Parents. Ever.

Nature learned new knitting patterns

adorable!!

Where's the slot to insert my CD/DVD?

How did the comparative taste test go? Which was better - bat or batter?

Mine does this. All the time. And, guess what? I go to bed.

Oh, deer. Good thing Santa staged that intervention before the bullying got out of hand.

VINDICATION every underachiever can savor!

A Milky Way bar isn't dark chocolate, though.

This person is on their way to becoming a legendary meteorologist with legendary accuracy.

When the experiment is over the device reduces in size for convenience

Tell her to do another one, just to make sure.

Thomas, you are drunk! Go home!

Omfg 😂

Ya kind looks that way

Haha, I heard this on the radio this morning

It his face for me

But did you pass?

Sigh wwwwwhhhhhyyyyyyy

Then you can use the Rosetta stone like it's no one's business.