Oops...

😂

Now teach them to say "nevermore".

This needs to be way hi er

🤔

*puts my body out with the bins*

Pure gold.

Yeah, but have you seen swans in their non-cuddly phase? It isn't very pretty. Don't ask me to explain; I had a bad experience once.

Now I need something to help fold them when they're clean & need to be put neatly in the cupboard

YES! I get so annoyed when people say "kids aren't taught this in school" bc in most cases, we are, people just don't pay frigging attention

Believable.

So,what exactly is a food engineer?

Like my brain when I get stressed.

This is otterly cool and adorable

OMG! This is hilarious!

They'll be getting them in braille soon.

Fat bottom girls, you make the rockin world go round 🎶

Very specific and pretty accurate, well done

Poor thing has got Peyronie's disease.

I had a 90 years old professor emeritus when I went to university, he didn't want to retire because his wife was a "talker" . He had one class a week and the rest of the time he was napping in his office.

Was trying to pull the blanket over me last night but it was stuck. Turns out my cat was snuggled up in it.

When the experiment is over the device reduces in size for convenience

awww, what a supportive little bro

Oh, how deeply I hope both of these are true - especially the second one.

A Milky Way bar isn't dark chocolate, though.

This person is on their way to becoming a legendary meteorologist with legendary accuracy.

The self checkout machines dont work where I live here in spain. Last time I tried to use it I needed the help of two workers and I leave feeling like an useless idiot.

Just... how?

Nature learned new knitting patterns

My mum did this, but with one of her perfumes (Sung by Alfred Sung). Now that I’m adult it’s my main perfume too because it makes me feel nice and cozy when I smell it.

adorable!!

Paradoxes abound!

happiest thing i've seen today oml

I saw Jesus

How did the comparative taste test go? Which was better - bat or batter?

now put some witch legs with red slippers sticking out from underneath

I understand it...sort of. Just let me get another glass of wine.

But did you pass?

I freakin’ love the British 😂💕

Oof

I'm stealing this

Best. Parents. Ever.

I suspect my horses to use the same technique, I keep getting ads from the feed shop.

Cat trap

It his face for me

Where's the slot to insert my CD/DVD?

Ya kind looks that way

All most good enogh to eat

Just lie. I tell kids I was born in 1911. Their confusion gives me enough time to eat their lunch.

Irony is lost on people if only you understood it.

Sigh wwwwwhhhhhyyyyyyy

I like it. I kinda hate the high bread-to-hotdog ratio of normal hot dogs. I don’t wanna eat bread soaked in ketchup.

I loved this, my friends had it

Imagine my surprise when I found out rodents do this too.

Oh, deer. Good thing Santa staged that intervention before the bullying got out of hand.