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With so many years of equal rights progression, sadly, we still live in a largely male-dominated society. The dominance over women can be visible in virtually all walks of life, from your workplace to your family or friend circle. Speaking of which, you don’t ever have to be friends with toxic men, or men you don’t feel comfortable with, or women, for that matter. Listen, friends are people we decide to build a friendship with and there’s no obligation.

So this eye-opening Reddit thread comes as a cold shower for any woman out there who realized they overestimated their male friend. “What's the scariest thing a male friend has said to you?” Redditor u/sedbiss asked on the Ask Women subreddit, which is home to a whopping 3.4 million members.

The unsettling stories and genuine, yet very disturbing experiences women had with their male “friends” started coming in, and it makes you realize that some people don’t deserve to get close to you and get a friend tag.

#1

We were about 15, and a friend told me that my 6 year old niece was "hot". Stopped having anything to do with him. About a year later he was arrested for molesting three girls whose combined age didn't add up to 18! That was in the 80's and he got 30 years.

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Jihana
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"molesting three girls whose combined age didn't add up to 18" That's the most disturbing sentence I've read in a while.

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    #2

    Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered I work in a male-dominated space and they consider me 'one of the boys,' aka they talk s**t without a filter, even when I'm around. The countless number of ugly comments made about women and the amount of pride they have in cheating on their partners is astounding. I remember one of them saying, 'We go for women in their early 20s because they don't know who they are yet, and they can't argue back. They're easier to train and mold.' He was dead serious, and I was disgusted.

    AlphaDog94 , Priscilla Du Preez Report

    #3

    Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered I knew this guy when I was in 10th grade, he was a senior. We were friends and I made the mistake of letting him walk me home. He showed up unannounced multiple times and said disgusting things the longer this went on. He said he wanted to “breed me so hard that my screams were heard by satan.”

    I hate him.

    Empty_Excitement_ , Toa Heftiba Report

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    Although it's hard to exactly pinpoint why some men act like entitled jerks and have the audacity to tell these things to women, the toxic behavior is partly if not largely blamed on them being insecure. In fact, men who are insecure about their masculinity showcases typical behavior. It manifests in some form of anxiety about a man being presented as a less masculine, more “vulnerable” version of himself.

    Such anxiety may be present if a man refuses to carry his girlfriend’s bag, or hesitates to hug his male friends in public. Psychologists believe that these men who aren’t secure in their masculinity are aware that their manhood is precarious and that they may, at any moment, lose manhood status in other people’s eyes.

    #4

    Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered I said I was r**ped by my uncle and he said "Lucky uncle"

    amoonei , Baptista Ime James Report

    #5

    Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered He said, 'I honestly didn’t care about what he had done to you, I was just listening in the hope that you’d cheat on him with me.' Then I immediately rid him of my life.

    MissHagfish , Etienne Boulanger Report

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    #6

    Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered If you girls knew how guys talk about you when you can’t hear them, you wouldn’t go near us again.

    Yellowmellowbelly , Anna Vander Stel Report

    This belief can be understood as a byproduct of our society that spreads the belief of gender role norms, which are often sexist and imply that gender is a social status that has to be earned.

    A 2012 study has shed even more light on how masculine insecurity can predetermine men’s behavior. Scientists conducted an online survey that probed how the male participants perceived masculinity standards and how their own self-image fit in with this perception. The 600 male participants were asked whether they felt as masculine as the average guy or if they wished to be more macho. The survey also included information about the individual's substance use and violent behavior.

    #7

    In high school, i was SA’d by two male “friends.” This happened at a party in which no one did anything. I didn’t handle the aftermath well (who would) & i threw myself into more reckless decisions(partying, drugs, alcohol, hanging out w the wrong crowd). Anyways, I was at another party that one of my best (male) friends was throwing. I was really drunk & another one of my male friends said to the one throwing the party, “she’s in the perfect state for you to bring her upstairs now.” They had both been at the party I was SA’d at & the one that threw the party was actually the first person to ever ask me if what happened that night was consensual. It almost turned into this joke with everyone that if you got a couple drinks in me that there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do; everyone thought it was funny. I remember when those words left my “friends” mouth then watching the other one just nod, agree, & laugh. I was terrified. The one that threw the party had a crush on me & spent the whole night chasing me to try & apologize. It felt like a part of me split entirely that night when I realized that I was always just an object to the people I thought were my friends; that no one cared about what was done to me & they would do it again. I felt so helpless. It’s been five years since my first assault in high school - still don’t know what those two boys did that night & i don’t want to.

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    Joonscrab
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is horrible. I hope you're much happier in life now. They are disgusting.

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    #8

    Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered My male friend once told me that a lady cut him off on the highway, which pissed him off as anyone would be. But instead of just moving on from that, he followed her all the to her house and parked right outside her home so he could 'scare her.' He then laughed and said that she didn’t get out of the car until he drove away. I was f**king horrified when he told me all of this, and I went off on him. I told him how f**ked up it was and how she probably felt scared for her life. He did end up feeling bad about it and told me he was embarrassed and upset that he scared her, but it still doesn’t excuse what he did.

    spookydeebs , NeONBRAND Report

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    Sam
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At least this one seemed to have some shame and maaaaybeee learned something

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    #9

    When I was 17, a guy that I considered a good friend was mad that I rejected him, so he made a profile on an escort website and used my photos and all my personal info. He said it was just a joke. I called the police.

    u/International_Fee526 Report

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    The researchers found that the men with high discrepancy stress were more likely to be violent than the men who were not as concerned about their masculinity. The two groups, however, were not likely to differ significantly in their alcohol and drug use, the scientists said. They also found that these men characterized as having high gender role discrepancy and high discrepancy stress partook in assaults causing injury 348 percent more than men with low discrepancy stress.

    #10

    We were coming back from an event with another male friend, mid conversation he said “you’re actually gorgeous, surprised no one has r**ed you yet”. They both just laughed.

    Haven’t forgotten and won’t.

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    Ansi
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What a beautiful compliment 🤮🤮 (obviously sarcasm, that's discusting and vile)

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    #11

    A gay, friendly coworker gave me a morning hug and then unhooked my bra. Naturally, I freaked and yelled at him and he just jokingly said, 'I like boys, it’s okay for me to do that!' It was a confusing way to feel violated, but I needed him to understand how disgusting that opinion was, so I made sure he saw me tell other people what happened. He responded the same way a few times until he realized how stupid he sounded.

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    Susie Elle
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would've grabbed him somewhere inappropriate and go "I like girls so it's okay for me to touch you there as I have no sexual intentions" and see how he likes it.

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    #12

    Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered Not a male 'friend' per se, but a male acquaintance said he enjoyed hurting women emotionally and, knowing they liked him, he could then take advantage of their feelings and do what he wanted. This is something most women are probably aware of, but it was shocking how unashamed he was in just saying it out loud.

    ParkAvePigeon , Sincerely Media Report

    #13

    Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered I didn’t really know him that well and we were hanging out at a bar. I was about to go to the bathroom and he made a comment about spiking my drink while I was gone. He said it was 'just a joke' but that’s s**t's not funny. I took my drink to the bartender instead and never saw him again.

    WillingnessLeft3778 , Pawel Kadysz Report

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    Beeps
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Really, why do people do that??? I had a cat sitter once who kept joking about stealing my cats. Obviously never used her again.

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    #14

    Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered I used to work in specialized group homes for disabled and aggressive youth. I was 20 at the time and am a woman. My coworker always brought up topics that were horrifying and made me very uncomfortable, but the very worst one was when he said, 'All females have a r**e fantasy' We were alone at 11 p.m. while the kids in the house slept. I left THE MOMENT my shift was over and immediately requested to never be placed with him again.

    IsaacDcookie , Abigail Keenan Report

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    #15

    Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered I told a friend about my sexual assault experience and immediately he said, 'See, that’s why you have to watch who you get involved with.' Basically saying that it’s my fault for not noticing the red flags. Thanks, my guy! I was the one who was assaulted, no need to turn this into an 'I am the wise one' moment.

    cosmicpussy69 , Priscilla Du Preez Report

    #16

    Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered I was roommates and friends with this guy for years. We were talking one night and he asked if I remembered the party we met at years before, and I said that I couldn't remember any details because I was super drunk. I actually had to be walked home by some kind acquaintances at the party that night. He said he knew, and that he was sober and trying to get me to come home with him, but I got pulled away by those acquaintances. I wanted to cry. This person who I considered a friend, who lived in the bedroom next to me, looked me in the eye and said that he wished he assaulted me. It's probably the worst and scariest thing anyone has ever said to me.

    honey_caramel , Alexander Popov Report

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    DennyS (denzoren)
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hope you left that apartment immediately and found somewhere else to live. That doesn't seem safe.

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    #17

    Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered We had a friend's husband help my husband and I move. My husband went to make another trip to grab more of our things, so my friend's husband and I were alone. He said, 'Man, there’s no way that I would ever leave my wife alone with any of my friends' To this day, I still don’t know what to think about that.

    dottiel , Ismael Paramo Report

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    Susie Elle
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That apparently he sees women as exotic animals you need to protect from poachers?

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    #18

    When I was 19 I was out walking in the middle of the night with my two closest guy friends, one of them was quiet, shy, sweet. I had a crush on him. The other one was loud and sometimes annoying, . We were all high. They slowed down and I kept walking. We got to a field we went to all the time. Suddenly they both came up t behind me and the quiet one grabbed my hands and held them behind my back. The other one started putting his hands inside my shirt and pants. When I finally got free the quiet one who was holding my hands said "dude it felt like we were raping her."

    Those are words I'll never forget. As weird as it is, what he said effects more than what they did. I never in a million years thought I'd hear those words come out of his lips.

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    Ansi
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It FELT, it FELT... ? I was assualt! 🤮 That's so horrible. Hope you have people in your life now that is better then that, and you can trust.

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    #19

    Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered About one of our other friends at a barbeque: 'I’ll make my move when she’s drunk enough.' I kept my friend and all other females away from him that night.

    queenofeverything_ , Toa Heftiba Report

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    Paul C.
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Was at a party one night and guy who I would call an acquaintance more than a friend sidled up to me and pointing to a female friend said "just a couple more drinks and she'll be ready for fun". I turned to him smiling and got close to his face and quietly said "if I see you within ten feet of her I'll put you through the nearest window". He left soon after.

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    #20

    “That time you passed out drunk at the party, I fingered you.” He also proceeded to tell me how he only became ‘friends’ with me in the first place with the intention of sleeping with me and resorted to non-consensual touching when I didn’t accept his feelings. Real douchebag.

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    Iggy
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is sexual assault and is a matter for the police, if you can face it.

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    #21

    Not exactly a friend, but a buddy from my travel group, when we had an argument about having/not having kids: "If I could, I would imprison you and f**k you until you get pregnant". Apparently, in his mind i was insane for not wanting kids when i'm an "interesting person".

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    Droopsnoot
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Keep such dark fantasies to yourself and people you can talk to about such tgings, and even then, be very very careful

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    #22

    He commented saying my outfit made him want to take me to a dark corner and doing horrible things to me but he can’t because we’re friends and you don’t “do those things” to women you like.

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    #23

    Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered Multiple grown men had told me my entire childhood that I had 'amazing birthing hips.'

    Kokadison , Ryan Moreno Report

    #24

    Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered Don’t you ever get scared of being alone with me?

    sharazaad , Priscilla Du Preez Report

    #25

    Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered One said something in a group chat saying he’d basically go pull some 'whale,' clearly meaning fat woman if he wanted to get laid. I, being a fat woman, called him on that, then told my friend who he’d clearly had a crush on and had been trying to get together with for a while. It's safe to say she never went out with him.

    paranoid-teeth , Natasha Hall Report

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    #26

    Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered That he could tell by a woman's scent that she's on her period and whether or not she's a virgin. That was so creepy, I didn't ask for any further details.

    u/coffeeblossom , Project IDEA Report

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    May
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a colleague once (summer job when I was 18), who claimed he could tell by the way a girl walked if she was a virgin or not. He'd also complain about having trouble finding women who were deep enough to contain all of him. He didn't worry me, I just found him ridiculous. I told another colleague about the things he'd be saying (big bear of a gay man) and he said if the first guy ever tried anything that he'd make sure the first guy found out if HE was deep enough. I miss that big bear, he was amazing

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    #27

    Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered A male friend of three years wanted to move into a room that I was vacating. When my housemates chose the other potential renter instead of him, he turned on me, shouting and blaming me for the decision not going his way. His words were something along the lines of 'I should've stopped being friends with you a long time ago when I realized that you wouldn't have sex with me.'

    alicelilymoon , Slavcho Malezanov Report

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    Nathaniel
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why cannot men be friends with women? Why is it all about sex? I am a straight man, my friends are pretty much all women, and love them as friends.

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    #28

    Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered I was in London with a big group of friends when I was a teenager, two of the boys came over to me and said "that guy over there offered to buy you for the weekend, we want you to pretend to be ok with it, and we will rob him" I was f**king horrified, I hardly knew the boys and this sounded terrifying to me, one of them started getting angry with me and saying I had to because he knew other girls men had tried to do this with, and they needed to learn a lesson.

    Still makes my blood run cold, I was 15 by the way.

    GemoftheDoon , Eric Ward Report

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    #29

    Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered “If you wont kiss me I’ll jump off [region specific] bridge.”

    acidboytoy , Loïc Fürhoff Report

    #30

    Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered “I’m divorcing my wife for you”

    charlotte1255 , Fa Barboza Report

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    #31

    He made a 'joke' about drugging and r**ing me. I was 15 and he was in his 20s. He said it in a way that made it seem like he was testing the waters and trying to figure out what I’d let him get away with. It’s safe to say that he was no longer considered a friend after that.

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    #32

    I used to have a cocaine problem. My 'best friend,' the person who usually went to the dealers to get the drugs we used together on a daily basis, once tried to pimp me out to a dealer. Looking back, he had definitely groomed me and gradually pushed boundaries to lead up to this, but one day he said, 'Hey, you know [dealer] thinks that you’re really hot right? I bet if you just suck his d**k or something, he would throw us a good amount of free s**t' I was a vulnerable 20-year-old girl who was in so much deeper than I ever thought possible, so I made the perfect victim. But I still told him that he could go suck the guy’s d**k if he wants free drugs that badly because it sure wasn’t gonna be me. Also, just for the record, if I’M sucking the d**k then why are WE getting the drugs?

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    Droopsnoot
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Great response, luckily he didn't get too agressive when you rejected (if he did I'm sorry)

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    #33

    "You've already done it before. So you're no longer a virgin. It doesn't really matter. You should let me do it to you."

    My so-called best friend after I confided in him that I'd slept with my first boyfriend, while I was locked in his car at night and he was meant to be driving me home.

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    #34

    Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered A guy who I thought was my friend told me 'No offense, guys are friends with you because they want to f**k you.' and that ruined me for so long. I couldn’t be friends with anyone without questioning their intentions. I still want to cry whenever I think about it.

    Professional_House82 , Ben White Report

    #35

    Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered If you just let me f**k you, I'll go back to being your friend.'

    u/CatnipandSkooma , Julia Taubitz Report

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    Jihana
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How about I won't let you f*ck me and we won't be friends anymore?

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    #36

    He was asking to come over late at night and I said no bc my mom was home and I wasn’t interested in him even as a friend so I had no desire to allow him to meet my mother or even to come hang out with me. When I said no because of my mom being there thinking that would deter him he said “that’s okay I’ll just tie her up in the basement haha” … blocked instantly.

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    #37

    "We're supposed to be together! I just know it!" As he(rather large man) held me against the wall and forced his tongue my throat while crying.

    .......on date #2.

    Had to pull the old "Yea! We are! Im into it, I swear!" Until i could escape safely.

    I had roses show up on/in my car. On my front porch. ON MY BED WHEN NOBODY WAS HOME, for weeks. I had to f**king move!

    Edit: we were friends for a couple years first.

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    #38

    My gay friend (him being gay is relevant here) said to me: you wouldn’t mind being r**ed, would you?

    Me, very sarcastically, thinking it was a sick joke and not a horrible real question: well I don’t think most r**ists light candles and make sure you’re happy and comfortable, and even if he did, still no, so yeah I would very much just SLIGHTLY mind being r**ed.

    Him: huh, I wouldn’t mind if some guy just f**ked me out of no where. I didn’t think you were so uptight.

    Me: wh…

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    Susie Elle
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's a world of difference between having a rape fantasy and actually getting raped, and 'consent' is that world.

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    #39

    That he videotaped girls when they used his bathroom. Never went to his house again.

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    #40

    He started rapidly accelerating on an extremely dangerous road, and, looking over at me, asked: "do you want to f**king die, b***h?"

    We don't speak anymore.

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    #41

    He told me he watched me and my new boyfriend have sex through new boyfriend's blinds. I brushed it off as him trying to scare me until he started describing what I had been wearing and the things inside the room.

    He stalked me for a good four years.

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    #42

    Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered My old male roommates of six years said, 'Of course, we were all thinking about whether we could have sex with you, and were kind of hoping we could join if you brought home a chick one day.' It was very diminishing of the years of friendship I thought that we had.

    Hiholownogo , Anthony Tran Report

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    Droopsnoot
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The feelings are common, the rudeness is not. After years they should've known you don't take such brutal honesty well. And as a lesbian, f that last comment. Why do people still think it works that way

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    #43

    Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered After I had lost some weight, a male friend said to me, 'Now you're getting how to be a proper woman.

    alicelilymoon , Kyle Broad Report

    #44

    After getting very drunk and ill, he arranged a room at the hotel where he worked. I spent all night puking in a bucket. The next morning we stopped by my work (also his previous work) and he made a silly joke that I didn't think too much of. A year later, I found out that he'd told my coworkers that he slept with me because 'He always gets what he wants.' All of a sudden, I understood why my coworkers thought something was going on between us. He had already made a bunch of other comments over the year that I got angry over (about my weight and my mother), but as soon as I heard this, I instantly cut him out of my life. He didn't understand and kept calling me 20 times a night, but I blocked him.

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    #45

    Had a male friend I was giving a hair cut to, he was my close friends neighbor and married. They were struggling financially so I offered to cut his hair for free. My friend and his wife had to run some errands so I was in his home clipping his hair, just the two of us. Out of nowhere he says "I could r**e you right now and no one would hear you scream"

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    Lady Goldberry
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    'I could stab you in the throat with my scissors, however, and the reason no one would hear YOU scream, is because I would have severed your vocal chords.'

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    #46

    I was really self conscious when I was around 13/14 and was constantly scared that I was too fat (I was literally underweight).

    Anyways I had a friend and we were texting after school and idk how it came up in conversation but I mentioned that I felt like I was fat. He was like no way you’re really skinny blah blah and I was like no look I’m fat and sent a picture of myself wearing a crop top and said look at my stomach it’s not flat or something like that.

    His response was “ngl I would wank to this photo if you want to prove that you’re not fat”

    Very strange. He also asked for me to send him a picture of my underwear on my head and to put clothespins on my nipples. WE WERE 14.

    Anyways I stopped being his friend after the last one.

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    #47

    Had one of my officers call me up in the middle of the night and says he going through some s**t, wants to know if I can go for a drive with him and help clear his mind. I say yes, I’ve lost Officers to suicide and their mental health is extremely important to me. He picks me up, and we go driving. We end up in the middle of nowhere and in the middle of a forest. He appears to have calmed down, and the conversation has gotten lighter. I don’t remember how we got on the subject, but he started talking about my outfit, I was wearing jeans , a t-shirt and a north face jacket. He makes the comment that I don’t dress like a lesbian. I laugh and say “well I was actually going to wear a flannel but I didn’t realize how cold it was.” All the humor and light mood drains out of the truck as he looks over at me and says “Well, sarge it’s a good thing you didn’t, if you had you’d be getting r**ed right now.” He looks at me for a moment, no smile or laugh even just to indicate that it was a horrible, disgusting attempt at a joke. He put his hand on my knee and then says “you know if you ever want to f**k a guy, I hope it’s me.” I looked at his hand, then out the window realizing how bad of a situation I was in, we were in the middle of nowhere. I had no phone signal, no car. The only thing I had working for me was I am in considerably better shape than this man. I tell him “Hey, it’s getting late, you seem like you’re doing better. I really should get home.” He looks at me for a moment and I brace myself to fight or flee when removed his hand and started driving me home. He again was joking and laughing but I just felt sick the rest of the night. He dropped me off and I practically ran inside my house. He quit not too long after and I haven’t seen him since.

    Edit: To clarify, I found out later that he apparently had a thing for women in flannels and as someone who regularly wears flannels, I’m super glad I didn’t wear one that night. He also had brought along his handgun and a spotlight both of which he showed me before driving in to the forest, no red flags until the rape comment though. In hindsight, I feel like an idiot.

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    Droopsnoot
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't call yourself an idiot. He'a the idiot if he thinks this is an okay thing to say

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    #48

    Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered That he wanted to hunt me. Literally. In the woods at night with him wearing a terrifying mask he had. The first time he brought it up, he laughed it off as a sexual thing. The second time (because I never learn the easy way), he said it would conclude when I was dead.

    TheSingingBackpacker , Sebastian Pociecha Report

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    Nathaniel
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This has happened https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Hansen

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    #49

    Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered My brother's friends totally dropped the façade in front of me at a party once. They were discussing how to get this one guy laid, and their main idea was to get her really drunk. I was shocked.

    u/mykidisonhere , Toa Heftiba Report

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    Fat Harry's Ghost
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was talking with a *female* friend once that the girl I liked wasn't interested and her suggestion was "get her drunk". The problem spans further than just men.

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    #50

    "I really want to r**e someone. Please don't be scared of me."

    I was 14 and he was 16. Maybe a budding bdsm fetish he didn't know how to verbalize, or maybe a f**king creep who I'm glad I distanced myself from.

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    #51

    We were working at a hospital together and he followed me towards a closet. I don't even know how it happened, but his hand ended up on my belly, like kind of rubbing it. He asked me when I was going to have sex with him.

    He was married with 2 kids, knew I was/am into females, and it wasn't the first time he asked.

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    Rembrandt Q. Einstein
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can you wait until tomorrow? I have a meeting with HR that just came up, oh and I'll want to check with your wife as well to make sure she's ok with that.

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    #52

    "I'm really lonely right now and I miss my ex and I just need some human contact right now and I know we're good friends so I figured you and I could be sex friends."

    Which he proceeded to ask me 20 more times after I said no every damn time in less and less polite ways until I finally got home and told him goodbye. I blocked him and never spoke to him again. Tried warning my friends but they didnt listen and he ended up assaulting one of my best friends. Needless to say I was livid and damn glad I shut him out of my life completely.

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    Droopsnoot
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yikes, your friend learned it the hard way. At least you were safe?

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    #53

    Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered I've been tracking your cycle and like you better on your period'

    luigitrumpsmario , Priscilla Du Preez Report

    #54

    After another friend called him out for stalking me. “I just wanted to make sure she wasnt f**king someone”

    Thin_One Report

    #55

    It was a close friend of mine, close enough to feel comfortable enough sharing my deepest thoughts with. I had just been sexually assaulted a few weeks before this and hadn’t told anyone about it. I decided to confide in him one night when I was over at his house hanging out, and when I told him about what happened, I started crying. Instead of comforting me, he leaned in to kiss me, as if that’s what I needed at that moment. What’s even worse is that I didn’t pull back or reject him, I think that I was so upset and in shock at the same time, I just let it happen. I wish I would have stopped it but I felt frozen.

    miss_shrimp Report

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    Iggy
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You probably were frozen. It's possible that your instincts told you that was the safest option or perhaps it was shock but either way, you need to stop giving yourself a hard time. He was the one in the wrong, not you. I hope you have cut him out of your life and have found someone to speak to.

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    #56

    "You know if you're taken from behind it just takes a hand on the back of your head and your face in the ground to make it so you can't scream." While watching horror movies with friends who had left us alone to go out and smoke.

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    Cordelia
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The actual number of rape comments on this thread are disgusting and horrifying I have a 3-year-old daughter who's going to grow up and in this disgusting ass world full of predators

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    #57

    He could sell me because I apparently had the face for it.

    Yeah we're not friends anymore.

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    Bexx 🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wonder how a guy would feel if this was his reality (disclaimer so I don’t get yelled at: yes not all guys, yes everyone is different, no it’s never the woman’s fault, etc.)

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    #58

    If you were single again, I'd love to f you.

    Answered with the end of our friendship...

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    gay insomniac assassin panda
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    it was never good what he said, but I am happy you dropped him faster than the speed of light!

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    #59

    That if he didn’t ‘love’ me he would probably r**e me. Ex boyfriend from when I was 15. He ended up assaulting a 13/14 year old at 18.

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    Cordelia
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm seriously starting to feel that we should make a register of men who've made open threats towards women so the police can inspect it and correlate predators with those past histories and threats.

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    #60

    not a friend but one time my ex told me he wants to “skin me”

    Smart_Ad4756 Report

    #61

    He wished girls could just exist in pods and they would stay in there until unlocked by him. We were in 7th grade.

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    Bexx 🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ew do some guys really think about women like this? I’m a f*****g human just like you, I breathe and am hungry and thirsty and mad and tired and happy and experience things too HELLO.

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    #62

    A colleague of mine at a very large and famous company was talking about his wife after a few drinks and going on about how hot he was. Then he said he would murder her if she ever cheated on him. I was like, 'You wouldn't actually murder her, would you?' He was dead serious and said yes she would have to die, I would kill her. Our other colleagues (male) were shushing me, acting as if my questioning him put me in the wrong. It seemed like people felt his background and beliefs were more important than a woman's life.

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    Droopsnoot
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some people have such middle-age ideas about cheating. Some even follow books tgat state it

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    #63

    That he wanted to make a woman fall in love with him, marry her, and then kill himself while they were having sex on their wedding night. He said that he wanted to make it so that she could never have sex again without thinking of him.

    CatrionaShadowleaf Report

    #64

    A coworker once told me that if it wasn't for his love of Jesus, he'd be out r**ing and murdering people.

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    Cordelia
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Honestly with the way a lot of" good Christians" act I wouldn't be surprised a lot of them have some really dark hearts and they're only afraid of hell

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    #65

    Text message “either you’re dead or ignoring me, I hope for my sake it’s the former”.

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    #66

    You’re worth impregnating.

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    #67

    That some women shouldn’t have arms, legs or a head. We are not friends anymore. He is a nurse… and anti-vax…….

    Hippofuzz Report

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    Droopsnoot
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Someone needs to be fired immediately. And get a mental health check

    #68

    He was getting handsy while I said "no" several times. I said "if you aren't going to respect my boundaries then you're going to have to leave." He said "oh yeah?" and laughed. Realized in that moment that nothing I said would have made him stop.

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    LadyManx
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'll probably put this more than one place. It's pretty normal to use your hands to get their hands away from you. Forget that. You won't win. While nobody really plans ahead for these things to happen, you should visualize being able to do any or all of the following, as initially icky as it may sound. Play along until you can get your hands near his face. Then poke or scratch him in the eye really hard. If he's got your shouders pinned or you are caught with your hands down, you are near their "tender bits", grab hold, don't be afraid to cause pain. This is what they wanted to do to you and this is a way to "disarm" them. After all, that's what we see about all the ball in the groin jokes or toddlers kicking, right? They'll go down and you run like hell. Should you have on heels, don't let your first thought be to run, first distract him, then crush his instep, bot is better. Kick if you can you know where. THEN run.

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    #69

    We were both 15, and I considered him a close friend and trusted him. We were going on a walk in the woods near my house when he pushed me to the ground from behind. I remember I was so scared and he just laughed at me and said he could do anything he wanted to do to me out here, and that no one would hear me scream. Thank God he didn’t actually do anything. I didn’t know what to do afterward and wound up acting as if nothing had happened. We stayed in the same friend group for a few more months and I never told anyone what he did until years later.

    Colamouth Report

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    Iggy
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You poor thing! It's hard to know how to react to something like this even as an adult but it's harder as a teenager. I'm glad you did eventually tell people.

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    #70

    Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered We were watching Promising Young Woman and he said "I kinda understand why the men in this movie do what they do"

    DoctorWhoTheF**k , Felipe Bustillo Report

    #71

    He was okay with genocide. He talked in detail of how bad people of a particular religion are.

    I talked to him for an hour saying that's not okay. His final statement was how pure and innocent I am. That I don't know how the world works.

    I said okay and haven't spoken to him over an year. He said he shouldn't have that to me and costed our friendship. Even now, he is sorry he told me not that he is okay with murder of innocent people.

    cameupwiththisname Report

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    Droopsnoot
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Depression has given me quite a few aggressive thoughts, but never against innocents

    #72

    “If I can’t have you I don’t want nobody else.” “Why don’t you kiss me? You’re so boring, all my other female friends do it?!” several times After I did it, “Well that was funny memory to look back on.” (For who? Because it was disgusting to me) “I want you to have my baby, I don’t care about your future partner.” “Why don’t you like me? I’m such a gentleman.” “Oh yeah remember when you were asleep outside, you were so good and tight…..naw I was just joking.” “If I can’t have you, nobody else can.”

    All of this was way before he started stalking me.

    Not to mention after he started stalking me.

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    #73

    “You’re so small, I could overpower you and do whatever I wanted so easily” I was like 18 and my jaw just dropped. He tried to play it off as the world’s worst joke but we didn’t talk after that.

    physicianextender Report

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    Roomba Gloom (No/None)
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm so sorry that happened. What an absolute f ucking s hithead... I'm glad you stopped talking to him.

    #74

    "I know you like this, why pretend you don't"

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    #75

    He was trying to force me into holding his hand and I was fighting it when he said "I wouldn't do that if I were you, do you see how easy it would be to break your wrist?"

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    #76

    “You’re lucky we haven’t had sex yet because my patience is growing thin.”

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    #77

    “I thought we were friends I thought you were cool” After refusing to have sex with him

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    #78

    Had a lot of scary things said to me but the one I can think of on top of my head is my freshman year of high school. I was 14 or 15 yrs old and he is 3 years older than me. He said "you're not girlfriend material but we can have sex". I had a crush on him at that time and since he said that I never saw him the same and all interest that I had previously in him died.

    Weirdly enough we still remain contact/friends because we are both Ukrainian and the Ukrainian community here is close.

    throwawaypls703 Report

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    Diphylleia Grayi
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What an as$hole. Why he thinks of himself too high to tell her that?

    #79

    "Let me show you something" and then proceeds to show me his peen. No thank you.

    FaleekaJo Report

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    Alex
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    this happened to me in elementary school, the guy said i was obviously expecting it since i looked down. I though he was going to show me an eraser or somthing

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    #80

    He had urges to murder drunk people. Seeing drunk people made him so angry he fantasied about killing them because being drunk is so awful. He promised he hadn’t felt the urges in like 2 years.

    I was freshly 21 and TERRIFIED to leave, so when I brought up leaving he would say things like “I’m gonna buy a ticket to Japan and ghost everyone for months if I lose you” and start looking at flights obviously. It took like another 6 months to get the nerve to actually leave. I don’t mean like intrusive thoughts- he explained very thoroughly what he meant. He was the nicest “straight edge good guy” in the friend group so I knew no one would believe me.

    My current bf has never had murder fantasies which is a nice change of pace.

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    #81

    "It's kinda hot that you look so young. You're so little, I feel like I'd break you. You're like a legal loli."

    I was barely 18 and he was 25. I never dated him, either. Dude also lied to me about having a party with friends at his place as a ploy to get me to come there alone at night.

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    #82

    That when he was homeless, starving, and living in a tent city in the woods if someone died, they would eat them.

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    Missy
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well... At least he would wait until the person was dead... I guess? Still creepy

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    #83

    A couple of male friends joked about who got my body after I died. ... yea....

    Orangepandafur Report

    #84

    He called me a c**k tease. He was mad that I had never looked at him as a person to date or a sexual partner. He was so mad that I 'friend-zoned' him, but I had no idea that he wanted to be more than friends. I didn't see him like that. But he saw me in short skirts, he'd come to hang out at my dorm, and he'd get mad when I'd strike up a relationship with someone else. It felt like I was being manipulated or betrayed in some way. This man was only nice to me because he wanted something. He was only my friend in hopes to trick me into a relationship or just sex.

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    MoodyBlue
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He really never was truly your friend. He was just someone who wanted to have sex with you.

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    #85

    I was 15, I think that he was 17, and a mutual friend came to me freaked on my behalf, saying he’d said he was going to 'wear me down' until I agreed to go out with him. That was the last straw for me after dealing with him for months, so I told our mutual friends that I wouldn’t be hanging out with him anymore, which they agreed with, and blocked him. Thankfully, he got the message, but he did try to get back in contact about two years later. I got the text while at a bar with a friend, and I snapped. I told him how creepy he was, how I hadn’t missed him the last two years at all, I’d basically forgotten about him and a bunch of other stuff. I never heard from him again. This is pretty tame really, but it freaked me out as I knew it wasn’t okay. 'Wear me down.' Go f**k yourself.

    ladysusanstohelit Report

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    #86

    Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered I know what college you go to. I will wait for you outside.

    Flowercharger , Element5 Digital Report

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    #87

    Met playing co-Ed soccer and he said “I want to have sex with you so I can get you pregnant, and then I’ll be a part of your life forever.” Wtf dude, I was 22!

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    #88

    That he was going to throw me out of the car and let the alligators get me. While we were driving during a hurricane in New Orleans

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    #89

    I am in a different country and, at that point I didn’t had familly members or a reliable support what so ever, but we were hanging out since I didn’t know a lot of people. One night he was drunk and went from a platonic conversation to “I am glad that you are not here, otherwise I would have done some bad things to you” . I was shocked and really scared after that, decided to block him everywhere and never come back

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    #90

    I’m pretty sure I commented this last time this question was asked, but it still gives me shivers thinking about it. But we were talking about kinks (we were just friends but were, at the time, comfortable enough to talk about that stuff). I said how I didn’t really know what mine were but I knew I definitely did NOT like the idea of being choked. In fact, any kind of suffocation in movies or shows freaks me out so deeply that I have to close my eyes and cover my ears until it’s over. He knew this. We’d had conversations about it before. But that day he said “what if you sleep with someone and they don’t know that?” So I said obviously I’d tell them. And then he said “what if they pressed too hard and you couldn’t tell them?”

    Like. Why is that in any way an okay thing to say/ ask? No.

    TwiceUponADecember Report

    #91

    In high school i was s*xually harassed by this guy a couple years younger than me and my guy friend who was in my grade said he wanted to talk to the guy who had harassed and threatened me to “see how he thinks,” and could not see for a long time why that made me so uncomfortable and upset.

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    #92

    Groomed me and told me he wanted me to treat/refer to him as a god

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    #93

    "I could dissolve you with this acid haha" chemistry was never my favourite class, turns out this guy had a crush on me and i cut the contact

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    Egg
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Okay well to be fair that could just be an awkward attempt at a joke

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    #94

    "You're so skinny, I feel like I could just break you in half!"

    Dude had some other issues, we're not friends anymore.

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    #95

    He said he wanted to kill himself.

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    Sam
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Without context this seems more like a cry for help than anything threatening to a woman

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    #96

    My best friend told me he's eaten human flesh. He was part of a rough crowd in his early years. Wasn't till after he'd eaten it they told him what it really was was a human cheek. Said it tasted like pork just a bit more chewy.

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    #97

    "I have cancer"

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    Madeleine Flowers
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh. Not the same type of scary as the rest, but it's sad. I remember how much I panicked when my dad said he had a cancerous mole that he got removed. I freaked out, because what if it HADN'T been noticed? What would've happened then? I hope your friend is alright now. P.S. My dad is fine.

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    #98

    "you're lucky you're dressed"

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    #99

    Not exactly scary but it freeeaaaked me out.

    "We should've ended up married"

    Me: "It wouldn't have worked, we want different things. I don't ever want kids, I plan on getting fixed, and I know you do. That would've ruined whatever we have going for us."

    "I'm serious, marry me and my insurance will cover that operation! I have really good insurance and make good money, it would be so easy. I don't know if I even want kids anymore because of hers."

    He was already in another relationship he refused to leave so I don't know what the hell he was thinking lol

    Tokijlo Report

    #100

    This was the day after I drunkenly said we'd be a power couple because our majors in college complemented each other well to start a business.

    "I went on a break with my girlfriend so we could try dating to see if it works"

    "Just kiss me once, if there's no spark I'll stop bringing up the idea of us dating"

    "I need to go to Jerusalem, I'm the missing link"

    mo2573 Report

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    #101

    I love you. The friendship was sadly over the moment he confessed.

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    nini
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hmm, I had this situation with some of my male friends. Falling in love with friends can happen and is not "creepy" per se, as long as it is handled in a "normal", respectful way.

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    #102

    He said "he was racing so he could die and wanted me to save him from his habit?!!"

    He was a biker and used to do illegal street races.

    And this was when we were planning our first date!

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    #103

    looked me dead in the eye, very intoxicated on mardis gras a few years ago and told me “i need help.”

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    Abigail Coty
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Without context this could also be seen as a cry for help.. literally.. umm..

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    #104

    "I'm not really a big fan of pizza."

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    athornedrose
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    dude had been my friend for years. tried to politely ask me out and i said i didn't see him like that. tone switched real quick. started shouting that he set me up with enough guys he knew would reject me. i should feel vulnerable enough to sleep with him by now. he had, indeed, just set me up with a friend who'd turned me down. i told him that was really crappy of him and he told me no one besides him will ever put up with my anxiety disorder or bother approaching me because of my weight. i haven't spoken to him in 10 years. it really messed me up. still don't really date.

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