42 Situations When You Should Lie, Posted By This TikToker Who Gives Women Safety Tips
Interview With AuthorLifestyle expert and former scientist Cathy Pedrayes is best known as TikTok’s ‘Mom Friend.’ She gained her fan following after first sharing a video with random items she stores in her first aid kit to prepare her for everything, whether it’s a diabetic emergency or eye puncture.
Today, Cathy has a whopping 1.6M TikTok followers and 74.9M likes in total, making her platform a popular online destination for smart and useful lifestyle, safety, and daily tips and tricks.
Recently, Cathy has initiated a new series of TikToks that feature real-life situations when it’s best to lie for your safety. From being approached by a stranger in a foreign city to avoiding unwanted attention during a day at college, there’s always a way you can respond without revealing too much or getting stuck in a conversation you never asked for.
More info: TikTok | Instagram | MomFriendGuide.com
Lifestyle expert Cathy has been sharing useful safety tips on when you should lie and her videos are going viral on TikTok
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Bored Panda talked to Cathy Pedrayes, the creator of the “Mom Friend Guide,” who’s widely popular on TikTok, where her practical videos gained well over 100 million views in the course of 2 months. Today, she has a whopping 1.7M followers loving her content.
“I was taught about safety from an early age, probably not much different from what most parents teach their kids but I always had an interest in being prepared,” Cathy told us in an interview. “For example, I took a 4-month-long first aid course when I realized I didn’t know how to react in most emergency scenarios.”
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The content creator said that she didn’t think of herself as unique in terms of following her safety habits. “I thought I was being a good citizen, learning good habits, but my awareness changed when I started working as a host on national television. Suddenly I was exposed to risks, threats, and some extreme stalking cases, which opened my eyes to a new world of safety and security.”
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At that moment, Cathy realized everything we do is public and there was little education on protecting ourselves. “When I started my TikTok, I was posting random videos not knowing my approach to safety and security was unique. But when TikTok saw how overly prepared I was, they dubbed me the Mom Friend of the Group, and that helped me realize I had a lot to share,” Cathy explained.
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When asked how the idea for her series “Situations When It’s Best to Lie” came about, Cathy said it happened because of a few things. “My mentor at QVC (where I was host) taught me to lie when people asked where I lived. A little lie like ’15 min. down the road.’ This question came up so often, but her little tip helped me feel prepared every time.”
“With quarantine I had forgotten about that tip, but when I was at the grocery store, someone was making restaurant recommendations and asked me where I lived in order to recommend some places nearby—immediately a red flag went up and that event sparked the Situations When It’s Best To Lie series.” Since then, the creator has shared over 60 situations which, on the surface, may seem innocent, but can actually be risky.
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Street harassment is not just a mere nuisance, it’s a complex societal problem that’s been overlooked for way too long. A 2014 survey commissioned by Stop Street Harassment, a nonprofit that works to document and end street harassment, showed that 65 percent of all women in the US said they had experienced street harassment.
Moreover, in the 2,000-person nationally representative poll, 23 percent of US women said they’d been touched and 20 percent had been followed. Among men, about a quarter surveyed said they had been harassed on the street.
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Another survey of 612 women from 2000 found that women in all areas experience street harassment: 90 percent in rural areas, 88 percent in suburban areas, and 87 percent in urban areas. So it’s not just a big city problem.
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Approaching women on streets reinforces their sense of powerlessness and damages their sense of self. “Without doubt, at the heart of harassment is a deep disrespect or disregard for women as equals, as something more than an object, a body, a sexual being,” says Susanne Legena, Plan Australia’s chief executive officer.
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This makes me mad. You shouldn't Have to make up lies, you should be able to just say "not interested, leave me alone please" to all of those.
I agree, it's unfortunate that in this day and age, people still won't respect a person's (especially a woman's) privacy without you making up a lie of some sort.
Load More Replies...Once a drunk guy approched me on my way home, asked if i life alone and i just lied and said i have a very protective rottweiler named bonny at home. He was like: ok cool, bye!
I do have a very protective dog named Bonnie! She's the best!
Load More Replies...Not sure if just me, but I don't see anything wrong with placing a delivery for food and giving them my first name. They ask it for a reason, after all, and I am calling a restaurant, too.
When the food delivery arrives and it's not the right name the order probably won't be handed out to me(F) if I said it's for "Mario". I don't understand asking a male to register a message on your phone for you either, especially if you have a smartphone...
Load More Replies...Now that I am older and bolder, I have changed my strategy on this. When a man asks me an invasive question I ask, "Why would you ask me that?" and their answer is always either "I was just making small talk" to which I respond "Small talk isn't invasive, your question is" or "I was just trying to be friendly" to which I respond "Invasive isn't friendly". Listen to your gut when you feel uncomfortable. These people are not trying to be friendly. They are predators. Don't be prey.
i bet they r then calling you a bitch cause they were just "being friendly" *eyeroll*
Load More Replies..."Are you meeting friends?" No, I'm just waiting for my parole officer
I have a better way to make them stop. "Not trying to be rude, but I don't do small talk." If they keep at it... "Look...I have the police on speed dial and I have no problem yelling and screaming. So if you don't back off, I'm going to draw a whole bunch of unwanted attention your way." If they still insist, I start yelling something like "OMG! How many times do I have to say NO!! What kind of pervert are you anyway!!!" They usually run after that.....
I'm sorry, but just ignore guys like this and do not answer at all. If you wnat to get away from the creep, go and sit somewhere with other people if possible and keep ignoring him. I see no point in being polite unless you are meeting the guy alone in a dark alley at 1 am and then it might be better to start screaming.
I definitely see this solution working in certain cases, but sometimes, I think that ignoring them could piss them off. And if the creep is 6'4 and 260 pounds, and i don't have my mace on me, I'm not about to piss him off right off the bat like that. So personally, if the creepy has a huge upper hand over me, I might try some politeness first just to avoid any initial confrontation to see if it would work first, but sometimes, I agree this should be your first reaction.
Load More Replies...I spent 4 months backpacking through India three years ago. I stayed in hostels and would routinely come across young women from western cultures traveling alone. I was shocked at how honest they would be to others and tell them they were traveling alone. NO!!!!!!!!!! I told them if someone asked if they were alone (because they were on a bus or train alone) ... tell the inquisitive person, "I'm meeting my boyfriend at the next stop. He traveled a couple days ago and we're rendezvousing in the next city." Some women even gave out their phone numbers! One was getting harassing texts from a guy she met traveling and I said, "Just block his number. Why do you want to see these harassing texts?"
the argument for not blocking texts/whatever is so you can see what they're saying. If it escalates, you can respond, where as if it's blocked, you don't see it... and you don't know if you should take out a restraining order or something. Can't say what's appropriate, but that's the argument.
Load More Replies...When leaving my house to go away for a few days in a taxi to the airport I'd always pretend to be saying bye to someone in the empty house so the driver wouldn't think that's an empty house. There was a suspicion local taxi drivers would inform 'friends' who would burgle homes they knew were empty. I never got broken into.
Correlation does not mean causation. But it couldn't hurt to do that anyway.
Load More Replies...Thank you for the advice. I discussed all the tips with my wife, daughter, and daughter-in-law. I am mad that they need the advice and very grateful that you provided it.
Live alone ? " I wish! three dogs and two older brothers with no boundaries" might be more believable than the military part
Yes, I think it’s important for the lies to be 1. Believable and 2. Coming across as lighthearted banter. You don’t want to come across as feeling threatened, because that might raise a red flag that you are probably lying. So sad we have to resort to this s**t.
Load More Replies...I have not had many of these inquiries but one did stand out. When I was 18 I was traveling from NY to NJ and stopped at a rest stop to use the facilities. When I exited the restroom ad big burly trucker was standing there and asked if I was traveling alone. I lied... "Nope" I said and exited quickly...scared me. So yes, lie to strangers, it avoids all kinds of problems.
The tragedy is the necessity for a long list of lies and being on high alert all the time because (mostly) males do not know how to control themselves or behave around diverse people. Abusive males need to change their behaviour. I'm sick of adapting mine to a constant threat of danger. It's like prison.
This seems to be an American thing. Most taxi drivers, delivery people, etc, wouldn't dream of asking such personal questions in the UK.
Same here in Lausanne, Switzerland, never had a taxi driver ask me personal questions. Taxi drivers must have a clean slate with justice and take at their cost classes delivered by the police department.
Load More Replies...We have to lie. If a potential perpetrator wishes to harm me and I anwer his questions honestly and he finds out I'm alone, I might be in serious trouble. In my experience, they go away when they find out I'm waiting for a friend. Some people here don't seem to understand that it could be a life or death situation. Being assertive might trigger aggression. The most important thing is that we keep ourselves safe.
Actually, no, we don't have to lie. It's perfectly acceptable to tell a stranger you're not interested in talking to them, or ignore them, or tell them their questions are rude.
Load More Replies...Oh don't say your roommate is in the military, A) They don't live off post and B) even if they do saying they are in the military basically tells them they are rarely home so completely defeats the purpose.
not all military lives on base. national guardsmen almost never live on base, and are very much 'military'. Just military with day jobs.
Load More Replies...I was born and live in NYC but Polish is my first language. Long communist story. Taking the subway to BK from Queens, have a Polish dictionary. I was teaching myself to read and write Polish. Old guy was standing and looking at what I am reading. Asks me if I would like a tour of NYC with him. He would take me to places in NYC that I've never seen(I was in my twenties and making 80k a year and had my own apt. And I did hang out at high end places bc if the friends I have). Well, I laid into him in Polish and English(I only curse in English) and we were on an express metro... he had no where to go while I verbally castrated him. FU assholes for trying to manipulate and abuse young women. Unfortunately, one of many instances..... Be kind to one another. It's not hard!!!
I dont get the one with the umbrella. People dont just vanish because you open an umbrella.
You can put it behind your head and hiss at them like frilled lizard ;)
Load More Replies...If a stranger walks up and starts asking me stuff out of the blue, I tell them to mind their own business. I did this when I was young and single, too. If it sounds too rude and aggressive, then that's a good thing. I'd rather have a person who has innocent intent think I'm rude than to have a person with bad intent think I'm a pushover.
If anyone asks me if I live alone: "No, I have two sons at home, their grandpa lives with us." (Technically not lying since I own two baby boy cats :,) )
I live in Germany Köln and never felt so unsafe to use any of this. Of course I use common sense like every one on the world, but just that. Dates in public, i go by myself not pick me or drop me,at dinner go to toilet in begin or end of date to don't leave my drink alone, say I live in city north, instead of city south. Don't go out in the night alone to desert places. Just normal common sense.
It's very sad that we even have to do this, but alas, people will be people, and those people won't change any time soon.
I regularly get cast as the girlfriend if someone is creeping on one of my more petite female friends. Not that I'm huge and intimidating, but men definitely show me more respect when they learn I'm in the military. :/ (because just being a person wasn't enough, apparently)
I have totally pretended that my cat, dog, and hermit crab are human members of my household. “Do you live alone?” “No, I live with three others.” Technically not lying.
The repairman one hits home. A girl was murdered in our city by the plumber a couple years back. She was found in the bathtub after a few days. The guy was caught using his semen sample. Never say you’re alone.
A blank stare and walking away, or not even acknowledging them sadly isn't enough for them to understand....
For 99% of these I'd just answer "none of your business". Having said that, I've never felt unsafe travelling alone or going about my business.
Wear a fake moustache beneath the mask. So you can pull your mask down and ask "Pardon?" in your manliest voice.
In Germany, if a rando asks a woman something, she will answer back, "Do we know each other?" and turn her back on the person. Or she will answer, "That's none of your business.". These are considered perfectly acceptable responses. Why all this emphasis on being pleasant?
Because when you're dealing with someone potentially crazy and dangerous, being so cutting might only piss them off and put you in even more danger. See it as trying to escape a lion, you move slow and try to be as gentle as possible... if you make any sudden movements or loud noises, that's your jugular.
Load More Replies...Knowing how to say “I don’t speak English. I’m sorry I can’t help you” in another language is an easy way to get people to leave you alone. Preferably in a language other than Spanish here in the US.
Yeah, there's a high possibility you meet someone who DOES speak Spanish. I wouldn't get away with it where I live. I look too much like my people.
Load More Replies...For all of these reasons I make an extra effort to leave people alone yet people always call me arrogant.
Clever answers. But you need to be prepared for follow-up questions. And it also matters if he's been observing you, and *knows* something is an obvious lie. And take a *good* women's self-defense course. Because "no" STILL means 'yes' to some folks. Even after all these years.
Why do people feel obligate to answer? You do not have to! When someone asks me too many questions I always ask back: why do you want to know, do you want something from me? Or simpe words like explain/be specific. I am also extremply malicious when asked not exactly precise questions.
Screw that. Tell creeps to back off and leave you alone. Take physical action if they don't. NO FEAR!
For a lot of these "Non of your effing business" is a valid response too
I read once that phone listings that have just the first initial and last name are usually assumed to be women. I had my phone number listed in that format and for awhile I got junk mail for Ms. "my name". I didn't think about it until now but I probably contributed to that by using the built in robo voice message on my answering machine instead of recording my own.
These would not always work though, what if the "person" hung around and/or followed you?
I've read a few articles and seen a few videos of people who randomly had women come up to them and talk to them like they were friends because someone was following them. The person actually caught on and helped them.
Load More Replies...honestly, I feel like these could work(in my opinion) but of course not in every situation but when let's say a random dude shows up and is hitting on u but u say "not interested" and he won't take no as an answer, just lie and sound like its true, so then the man leaves u alone. also when u say these like "u don't need to know this" or "that's private" it can lead them to an answer without u telling them so, i think these can work..
if a person is good enough to cold read a stranger saying 'mind your own business' or 'that's private' and figuring out an accurate answer... it's a very likely possibility they can also spot your tell. every situation is different, but, if they decide to call the bluff, it may make it seem as though you might be pressured or bullied. Keep in mind that a 'helpful stranger' isn't going to do anything until you're alone in the car with them. Especially at an airport that's almost always busy.
Load More Replies...Also note: This is true for any gender or single person in an uncomfortable situation. And, while it is important to feel and stay safe, the majority of people are sincere in the world, and mean you no harm. "Striking up" a conversation is not easy in this world and awkward moments are not always coming from "creepers and weirdos."
Actually, the stakes are much higher for women in these situations, and you know that. The reality for women is, many men DO mean us harm, and they don't come with a sign. If a man is so hard up for conversation in public, I'm sure there are many strange men they could approach for a chat. But they don't, do they? They approach women, because physically they have the upper hand and can easily intimidate a woman. Also, consider this--You are not owed the attention of a woman you do not know, and yes, it IS creepy and more than a little socially awkward to demand that a woman start talking to you out of the blue and share her personal business. It isn't a woman's job to engage with your awkwardness. You know, and I know, that it isn't about conversation, anyway. It's about trying to hit on her. But how nice to be a man--you don't have to worry about getting stalked or raped or harassed by women, or being made to feel vulnerable or physically unsafe by a woman.
Load More Replies...So my complaint is the salesman one. I’m a teenager and do door to door sales for residential cleaning. A sales man will most likely treat you kindly and respect your privacy. If you would like a salesman to leave just ask them. Also if they don’t obey just call the police.
What happened to "why do you want to know" or "its none of your business".
Alert: TikTok collects a metric sh*t ton of your data. (https://www.boredpanda.com/tik-tok-reverse-engineered-data-information-collecting/)
reminds me of my party time in the usa... guys would always stick to your hips in the club, no matter how often you said you werent interested. so i got myself a fake 10 dollar engagementring that i went out with - just a show of that was enough to get the guys off... so freakin sad
Women traveling alone have to be defensive, and it is tiring and exhausting. This is just one of the ways that sexism makes it harder to be female.
Most of these answers seem like flirting to me. I tactfully say 'no thank you and goodbye' to any question. Even if they ask my name. If you do not want a man's attention, make it clear and be firm. He gets the point and moves on.
I saved a bunch of voice messages from my husband, just random things like "can you bring more bread?", "Are you coming home soon? I'm almost done with dinner" or "I'm on my way, meet you there in 10!" and whenever I feel uncomfortable around a creep I just play the voice messages and pretend I'm responding to them.
Load More Replies...Pff. These people should know this is NOT ok and a woman should be taught how to state and defend her borders. So how about - It's non of your business or I don't answer to personal questions asked by total strangers or that's getting into my private space and I don't like it. I prefer to not share/ tell you. I'm not interested in having a conversation right now, have a good day, and so on.
How stupid do you have to be to not understand it isn't about being hit on and rather being careful because you don't know if the person talking to you is trying to rob you, rape you, kill you, kidnap you, is a human trafficker, wants to cut you open and sell your organs, etc.? Go have a look at how many people go missing every single day, it will shock you, how many of them are women, and how many of them have been missing for years, decades, etc.
Load More Replies...Why the f**k do you need to lie when someone wants to make small talk? How do these people function in public? Geez.
Gonna use some of these. And yes, TO THE MALES: WE HAVE TO DO THIS TYPE OF S**T. Leave us ALONE
I find these questions so weird... I wouldn’t bother coming up with a lie, I would say sorry I am not in the mood for talking. Or I would say sorry, I am not telling you that, please leave me alone or I will call the police. (European)
Him: Can I walk with you? Me: Sure! On my way to the police station to see my father, the chief of police. Him: Gone. Was a lie, works every time though.
so depressing this is necessary, men should do better so this isn't necessary (some women do this too, but it's primarily men)
I'm really sorry for all women in the world that feels that unsafe or even unsafer. That is just sad. Most be so stressful to be in constant fear.
No. I reject this. What sort of world did we of my generation leave our daughters that they are so fearful - FAR MORESO THAN MY GENERATION - THE GENERATION OF THE PEPOLE ON FRIENDS?! Either the world is worse, or we have created more fear than is needed. Either way, my generation has failed miserably. This makes me utterly, utterly sick that women are more afraid of assault and rape than they were 25 years ago. Do the police stats bear this out?
Marnie what are you talking about? It is not scaremongering it is prevention. I am 50, and the encounter I posted about happened 32 years ago, being confronted by a strange man, at a rest stop. Not for one second did I think he wanted to chat, he was asking if I was alone, and it scared me, rightly so. I am strong and wise, wise enough to know to use all my wits to remove myself from that situation for my safety.
Load More Replies...If I get a door-to-door solicitor, I tell them I am just renting so they don't try to sell me windows or siding.
I put a sticker on the door, NO SOLICITORS. It worked. Now even Religious Salespeople don't come.
Load More Replies...Funny, when I was young, cute and single, lies like those just few out of my mouth whenever I felt threatened. I didn't need a life coach person to teach me self preservation.
The title of this article should be “Lies you can tell when an unattractive man tries to talk to you.”
Actually, the best response in most of these situations is to look blank/annoyed directly at the person and walk away without any reply AT ALL, while remaining aware of your surroundings. Responding in any way just spurs on many predators and smiling seems like an invitation. This is from 5 decades of watching and experiencing human interactions in many different settings, and also directly from Gavid deBecker, guru of personal safety.
You probably live in the States. In Europe arms are allowed if you have a permit to hunt otherwise no one has the right to be armed except the arm forces and police. Switzerland is an exception as military personnel keep the arms at home. It is totally illegal to take a military weapon out of your residence for your own use. Here we have a rather low rate of crimes related by arms or any other types of crimes.
Load More Replies...one, it takes a while to get a license to carry. two, telling a man to f!ck off while being a woman could cause a lot more trouble, especially if the man is bigger. Getting aggressive while being harassed like this could cause things to get 20x worse. its not that easy..
Load More Replies...What pizza delivery place asks for ID before relinquishing your pizza?
Load More Replies...some people don’t have that choice. it’s smart to have these tactics as you never know what kind of people are around you.
Load More Replies...Yeah, that what it's about...
Load More Replies...This makes me mad. You shouldn't Have to make up lies, you should be able to just say "not interested, leave me alone please" to all of those.
I agree, it's unfortunate that in this day and age, people still won't respect a person's (especially a woman's) privacy without you making up a lie of some sort.
Load More Replies...Once a drunk guy approched me on my way home, asked if i life alone and i just lied and said i have a very protective rottweiler named bonny at home. He was like: ok cool, bye!
I do have a very protective dog named Bonnie! She's the best!
Load More Replies...Not sure if just me, but I don't see anything wrong with placing a delivery for food and giving them my first name. They ask it for a reason, after all, and I am calling a restaurant, too.
When the food delivery arrives and it's not the right name the order probably won't be handed out to me(F) if I said it's for "Mario". I don't understand asking a male to register a message on your phone for you either, especially if you have a smartphone...
Load More Replies...Now that I am older and bolder, I have changed my strategy on this. When a man asks me an invasive question I ask, "Why would you ask me that?" and their answer is always either "I was just making small talk" to which I respond "Small talk isn't invasive, your question is" or "I was just trying to be friendly" to which I respond "Invasive isn't friendly". Listen to your gut when you feel uncomfortable. These people are not trying to be friendly. They are predators. Don't be prey.
i bet they r then calling you a bitch cause they were just "being friendly" *eyeroll*
Load More Replies..."Are you meeting friends?" No, I'm just waiting for my parole officer
I have a better way to make them stop. "Not trying to be rude, but I don't do small talk." If they keep at it... "Look...I have the police on speed dial and I have no problem yelling and screaming. So if you don't back off, I'm going to draw a whole bunch of unwanted attention your way." If they still insist, I start yelling something like "OMG! How many times do I have to say NO!! What kind of pervert are you anyway!!!" They usually run after that.....
I'm sorry, but just ignore guys like this and do not answer at all. If you wnat to get away from the creep, go and sit somewhere with other people if possible and keep ignoring him. I see no point in being polite unless you are meeting the guy alone in a dark alley at 1 am and then it might be better to start screaming.
I definitely see this solution working in certain cases, but sometimes, I think that ignoring them could piss them off. And if the creep is 6'4 and 260 pounds, and i don't have my mace on me, I'm not about to piss him off right off the bat like that. So personally, if the creepy has a huge upper hand over me, I might try some politeness first just to avoid any initial confrontation to see if it would work first, but sometimes, I agree this should be your first reaction.
Load More Replies...I spent 4 months backpacking through India three years ago. I stayed in hostels and would routinely come across young women from western cultures traveling alone. I was shocked at how honest they would be to others and tell them they were traveling alone. NO!!!!!!!!!! I told them if someone asked if they were alone (because they were on a bus or train alone) ... tell the inquisitive person, "I'm meeting my boyfriend at the next stop. He traveled a couple days ago and we're rendezvousing in the next city." Some women even gave out their phone numbers! One was getting harassing texts from a guy she met traveling and I said, "Just block his number. Why do you want to see these harassing texts?"
the argument for not blocking texts/whatever is so you can see what they're saying. If it escalates, you can respond, where as if it's blocked, you don't see it... and you don't know if you should take out a restraining order or something. Can't say what's appropriate, but that's the argument.
Load More Replies...When leaving my house to go away for a few days in a taxi to the airport I'd always pretend to be saying bye to someone in the empty house so the driver wouldn't think that's an empty house. There was a suspicion local taxi drivers would inform 'friends' who would burgle homes they knew were empty. I never got broken into.
Correlation does not mean causation. But it couldn't hurt to do that anyway.
Load More Replies...Thank you for the advice. I discussed all the tips with my wife, daughter, and daughter-in-law. I am mad that they need the advice and very grateful that you provided it.
Live alone ? " I wish! three dogs and two older brothers with no boundaries" might be more believable than the military part
Yes, I think it’s important for the lies to be 1. Believable and 2. Coming across as lighthearted banter. You don’t want to come across as feeling threatened, because that might raise a red flag that you are probably lying. So sad we have to resort to this s**t.
Load More Replies...I have not had many of these inquiries but one did stand out. When I was 18 I was traveling from NY to NJ and stopped at a rest stop to use the facilities. When I exited the restroom ad big burly trucker was standing there and asked if I was traveling alone. I lied... "Nope" I said and exited quickly...scared me. So yes, lie to strangers, it avoids all kinds of problems.
The tragedy is the necessity for a long list of lies and being on high alert all the time because (mostly) males do not know how to control themselves or behave around diverse people. Abusive males need to change their behaviour. I'm sick of adapting mine to a constant threat of danger. It's like prison.
This seems to be an American thing. Most taxi drivers, delivery people, etc, wouldn't dream of asking such personal questions in the UK.
Same here in Lausanne, Switzerland, never had a taxi driver ask me personal questions. Taxi drivers must have a clean slate with justice and take at their cost classes delivered by the police department.
Load More Replies...We have to lie. If a potential perpetrator wishes to harm me and I anwer his questions honestly and he finds out I'm alone, I might be in serious trouble. In my experience, they go away when they find out I'm waiting for a friend. Some people here don't seem to understand that it could be a life or death situation. Being assertive might trigger aggression. The most important thing is that we keep ourselves safe.
Actually, no, we don't have to lie. It's perfectly acceptable to tell a stranger you're not interested in talking to them, or ignore them, or tell them their questions are rude.
Load More Replies...Oh don't say your roommate is in the military, A) They don't live off post and B) even if they do saying they are in the military basically tells them they are rarely home so completely defeats the purpose.
not all military lives on base. national guardsmen almost never live on base, and are very much 'military'. Just military with day jobs.
Load More Replies...I was born and live in NYC but Polish is my first language. Long communist story. Taking the subway to BK from Queens, have a Polish dictionary. I was teaching myself to read and write Polish. Old guy was standing and looking at what I am reading. Asks me if I would like a tour of NYC with him. He would take me to places in NYC that I've never seen(I was in my twenties and making 80k a year and had my own apt. And I did hang out at high end places bc if the friends I have). Well, I laid into him in Polish and English(I only curse in English) and we were on an express metro... he had no where to go while I verbally castrated him. FU assholes for trying to manipulate and abuse young women. Unfortunately, one of many instances..... Be kind to one another. It's not hard!!!
I dont get the one with the umbrella. People dont just vanish because you open an umbrella.
You can put it behind your head and hiss at them like frilled lizard ;)
Load More Replies...If a stranger walks up and starts asking me stuff out of the blue, I tell them to mind their own business. I did this when I was young and single, too. If it sounds too rude and aggressive, then that's a good thing. I'd rather have a person who has innocent intent think I'm rude than to have a person with bad intent think I'm a pushover.
If anyone asks me if I live alone: "No, I have two sons at home, their grandpa lives with us." (Technically not lying since I own two baby boy cats :,) )
I live in Germany Köln and never felt so unsafe to use any of this. Of course I use common sense like every one on the world, but just that. Dates in public, i go by myself not pick me or drop me,at dinner go to toilet in begin or end of date to don't leave my drink alone, say I live in city north, instead of city south. Don't go out in the night alone to desert places. Just normal common sense.
It's very sad that we even have to do this, but alas, people will be people, and those people won't change any time soon.
I regularly get cast as the girlfriend if someone is creeping on one of my more petite female friends. Not that I'm huge and intimidating, but men definitely show me more respect when they learn I'm in the military. :/ (because just being a person wasn't enough, apparently)
I have totally pretended that my cat, dog, and hermit crab are human members of my household. “Do you live alone?” “No, I live with three others.” Technically not lying.
The repairman one hits home. A girl was murdered in our city by the plumber a couple years back. She was found in the bathtub after a few days. The guy was caught using his semen sample. Never say you’re alone.
A blank stare and walking away, or not even acknowledging them sadly isn't enough for them to understand....
For 99% of these I'd just answer "none of your business". Having said that, I've never felt unsafe travelling alone or going about my business.
Wear a fake moustache beneath the mask. So you can pull your mask down and ask "Pardon?" in your manliest voice.
In Germany, if a rando asks a woman something, she will answer back, "Do we know each other?" and turn her back on the person. Or she will answer, "That's none of your business.". These are considered perfectly acceptable responses. Why all this emphasis on being pleasant?
Because when you're dealing with someone potentially crazy and dangerous, being so cutting might only piss them off and put you in even more danger. See it as trying to escape a lion, you move slow and try to be as gentle as possible... if you make any sudden movements or loud noises, that's your jugular.
Load More Replies...Knowing how to say “I don’t speak English. I’m sorry I can’t help you” in another language is an easy way to get people to leave you alone. Preferably in a language other than Spanish here in the US.
Yeah, there's a high possibility you meet someone who DOES speak Spanish. I wouldn't get away with it where I live. I look too much like my people.
Load More Replies...For all of these reasons I make an extra effort to leave people alone yet people always call me arrogant.
Clever answers. But you need to be prepared for follow-up questions. And it also matters if he's been observing you, and *knows* something is an obvious lie. And take a *good* women's self-defense course. Because "no" STILL means 'yes' to some folks. Even after all these years.
Why do people feel obligate to answer? You do not have to! When someone asks me too many questions I always ask back: why do you want to know, do you want something from me? Or simpe words like explain/be specific. I am also extremply malicious when asked not exactly precise questions.
Screw that. Tell creeps to back off and leave you alone. Take physical action if they don't. NO FEAR!
For a lot of these "Non of your effing business" is a valid response too
I read once that phone listings that have just the first initial and last name are usually assumed to be women. I had my phone number listed in that format and for awhile I got junk mail for Ms. "my name". I didn't think about it until now but I probably contributed to that by using the built in robo voice message on my answering machine instead of recording my own.
These would not always work though, what if the "person" hung around and/or followed you?
I've read a few articles and seen a few videos of people who randomly had women come up to them and talk to them like they were friends because someone was following them. The person actually caught on and helped them.
Load More Replies...honestly, I feel like these could work(in my opinion) but of course not in every situation but when let's say a random dude shows up and is hitting on u but u say "not interested" and he won't take no as an answer, just lie and sound like its true, so then the man leaves u alone. also when u say these like "u don't need to know this" or "that's private" it can lead them to an answer without u telling them so, i think these can work..
if a person is good enough to cold read a stranger saying 'mind your own business' or 'that's private' and figuring out an accurate answer... it's a very likely possibility they can also spot your tell. every situation is different, but, if they decide to call the bluff, it may make it seem as though you might be pressured or bullied. Keep in mind that a 'helpful stranger' isn't going to do anything until you're alone in the car with them. Especially at an airport that's almost always busy.
Load More Replies...Also note: This is true for any gender or single person in an uncomfortable situation. And, while it is important to feel and stay safe, the majority of people are sincere in the world, and mean you no harm. "Striking up" a conversation is not easy in this world and awkward moments are not always coming from "creepers and weirdos."
Actually, the stakes are much higher for women in these situations, and you know that. The reality for women is, many men DO mean us harm, and they don't come with a sign. If a man is so hard up for conversation in public, I'm sure there are many strange men they could approach for a chat. But they don't, do they? They approach women, because physically they have the upper hand and can easily intimidate a woman. Also, consider this--You are not owed the attention of a woman you do not know, and yes, it IS creepy and more than a little socially awkward to demand that a woman start talking to you out of the blue and share her personal business. It isn't a woman's job to engage with your awkwardness. You know, and I know, that it isn't about conversation, anyway. It's about trying to hit on her. But how nice to be a man--you don't have to worry about getting stalked or raped or harassed by women, or being made to feel vulnerable or physically unsafe by a woman.
Load More Replies...So my complaint is the salesman one. I’m a teenager and do door to door sales for residential cleaning. A sales man will most likely treat you kindly and respect your privacy. If you would like a salesman to leave just ask them. Also if they don’t obey just call the police.
What happened to "why do you want to know" or "its none of your business".
Alert: TikTok collects a metric sh*t ton of your data. (https://www.boredpanda.com/tik-tok-reverse-engineered-data-information-collecting/)
reminds me of my party time in the usa... guys would always stick to your hips in the club, no matter how often you said you werent interested. so i got myself a fake 10 dollar engagementring that i went out with - just a show of that was enough to get the guys off... so freakin sad
Women traveling alone have to be defensive, and it is tiring and exhausting. This is just one of the ways that sexism makes it harder to be female.
Most of these answers seem like flirting to me. I tactfully say 'no thank you and goodbye' to any question. Even if they ask my name. If you do not want a man's attention, make it clear and be firm. He gets the point and moves on.
I saved a bunch of voice messages from my husband, just random things like "can you bring more bread?", "Are you coming home soon? I'm almost done with dinner" or "I'm on my way, meet you there in 10!" and whenever I feel uncomfortable around a creep I just play the voice messages and pretend I'm responding to them.
Load More Replies...Pff. These people should know this is NOT ok and a woman should be taught how to state and defend her borders. So how about - It's non of your business or I don't answer to personal questions asked by total strangers or that's getting into my private space and I don't like it. I prefer to not share/ tell you. I'm not interested in having a conversation right now, have a good day, and so on.
How stupid do you have to be to not understand it isn't about being hit on and rather being careful because you don't know if the person talking to you is trying to rob you, rape you, kill you, kidnap you, is a human trafficker, wants to cut you open and sell your organs, etc.? Go have a look at how many people go missing every single day, it will shock you, how many of them are women, and how many of them have been missing for years, decades, etc.
Load More Replies...Why the f**k do you need to lie when someone wants to make small talk? How do these people function in public? Geez.
Gonna use some of these. And yes, TO THE MALES: WE HAVE TO DO THIS TYPE OF S**T. Leave us ALONE
I find these questions so weird... I wouldn’t bother coming up with a lie, I would say sorry I am not in the mood for talking. Or I would say sorry, I am not telling you that, please leave me alone or I will call the police. (European)
Him: Can I walk with you? Me: Sure! On my way to the police station to see my father, the chief of police. Him: Gone. Was a lie, works every time though.
so depressing this is necessary, men should do better so this isn't necessary (some women do this too, but it's primarily men)
I'm really sorry for all women in the world that feels that unsafe or even unsafer. That is just sad. Most be so stressful to be in constant fear.
No. I reject this. What sort of world did we of my generation leave our daughters that they are so fearful - FAR MORESO THAN MY GENERATION - THE GENERATION OF THE PEPOLE ON FRIENDS?! Either the world is worse, or we have created more fear than is needed. Either way, my generation has failed miserably. This makes me utterly, utterly sick that women are more afraid of assault and rape than they were 25 years ago. Do the police stats bear this out?
Marnie what are you talking about? It is not scaremongering it is prevention. I am 50, and the encounter I posted about happened 32 years ago, being confronted by a strange man, at a rest stop. Not for one second did I think he wanted to chat, he was asking if I was alone, and it scared me, rightly so. I am strong and wise, wise enough to know to use all my wits to remove myself from that situation for my safety.
Load More Replies...If I get a door-to-door solicitor, I tell them I am just renting so they don't try to sell me windows or siding.
I put a sticker on the door, NO SOLICITORS. It worked. Now even Religious Salespeople don't come.
Load More Replies...Funny, when I was young, cute and single, lies like those just few out of my mouth whenever I felt threatened. I didn't need a life coach person to teach me self preservation.
The title of this article should be “Lies you can tell when an unattractive man tries to talk to you.”
Actually, the best response in most of these situations is to look blank/annoyed directly at the person and walk away without any reply AT ALL, while remaining aware of your surroundings. Responding in any way just spurs on many predators and smiling seems like an invitation. This is from 5 decades of watching and experiencing human interactions in many different settings, and also directly from Gavid deBecker, guru of personal safety.
You probably live in the States. In Europe arms are allowed if you have a permit to hunt otherwise no one has the right to be armed except the arm forces and police. Switzerland is an exception as military personnel keep the arms at home. It is totally illegal to take a military weapon out of your residence for your own use. Here we have a rather low rate of crimes related by arms or any other types of crimes.
Load More Replies...one, it takes a while to get a license to carry. two, telling a man to f!ck off while being a woman could cause a lot more trouble, especially if the man is bigger. Getting aggressive while being harassed like this could cause things to get 20x worse. its not that easy..
Load More Replies...What pizza delivery place asks for ID before relinquishing your pizza?
Load More Replies...some people don’t have that choice. it’s smart to have these tactics as you never know what kind of people are around you.
Load More Replies...Yeah, that what it's about...
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