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30 Unpleasant Things Very Smart People Have To Live With, As Shared By Folks In This Online Group
A lot of us are on a constant journey to improve our minds. We read books, watch films, study and otherwise educate and better ourselves so that we can become more intelligent in various ways. However, some people are just born smart and talented in some ways, requiring less effort to achieve certain things that others might struggle with. Contrary to what some might believe, being smart is not always a blessing.
Someone created a thread on the r/AskReddit subreddit, asking about the hardships smart people have to live with, exactly because of their high intelligence, and folks delivered plenty of observations, most of which are quite heavy. Scroll down to see the whole list of things people online shared and consider upvoting the entries you relate to the most, as well as leaving a comment.
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#1
Being smart enough to know you're right while dealing with people too stupid to know they're wrong is soul crushing.
RELATED:
#2
There are different types of intelligence. Being good at physics doesn't mean that you should manage people.
Nicola Doyle 2 years ago
So very true. You need emotional intelligence and ability to put yourself in others shoes to know how to motivate and support. Know this from being under terrible bosses, wonderful bosses and being a lead myself.
#3
They are full of doubt compared to people who are not smart
#4
Our school system (Australia) isn't built to deal with them. It crushes bright kids down to everyone else's level.
The usual solution is just to give them extra work to do on top of the assigned work, when they finish that too fast. But to a kid, that's a punishment. In this way achieving beyond a certain accepted parameter is quietly discouraged.
#5
Sad_But_Realistic said:
Expectations...
Sownd_Rum replied:
This is the killer. If you are "gifted", having an average life is seen as a failure.
Sky Render 2 years ago
The secret is to not let on that you're gifted. Play it off as a fluke, or fake a counterpoint weakness that makes it seem less impressive. The metagame of life is far deeper than most of us realize.
#6
Common sense is not a gift, it is a punishment. Because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.
#7
They have no effect on dumb people's opinions
#9
YourFatherHere1 said:
Intelligence doesn’t always mean wisdom.
Therandomfox replied:
Intelligence is knowing how to bring back dinosaurs from the dead.
Wisdom is knowing that that's a bad idea.
Eat Dirt Crow 2 years ago
Intelligence means knowing a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is knowing that you don't use it in a fruit salad.
#10
They are often miserable, and able to thoroughly understand their misery and failures.
#11
All the “smart kids” that turned into smart adults are severely burnt out and need a break for everything
#12
Hard to find other people who think and/or feel as deeply as you do.
#13
Not being inherently competitive but able to be crushed instantly by failure.
#14
It can be very lonely
Alexandra Nara 2 years ago
Some structures in behaviour, relationships and communications are just annoying repeating circles and far too shallow Hard to blend in, Very often you feel just like an alien trying to adapt to the joy of lightweighted conversations Often seems to be some kind of arrogance but from this side of the fence its just pure deep sadness and loneliness- and the wish to be more like other people Not easy to be happy here in my mind
#15
Expectations
Never learning to study until it is too late
Being forced to learn outside of your age related interests
Being terrified of failure
Not being able to balance ambition and said fear of failure
Once again, expectations. My mother put so much pressure on me at such a young age I couldn't handle it. I have done well for myself as an adult, but will never be able to live up to those expectations set by her and others. I should probably go back to therapy.
germs 2 years ago
"Never learning to study until it's too late." Yeppp. Cuz you can get perfect grades without reading the book or paying attention in class. Very related to the other list items about school not supporting smart students enough.
Albo alt 2 years ago
I had this one in spades. In primary school, I always knew stuff and tested well that I wouldn't have to study. Led to more Bs that I would have liked in college.
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Leo Domitrix 2 years ago
From experience: Parents of bright kids need to stop making the kids their proxy success in life.
Diphylleia Grayi 2 years ago
Or having a no so intelligent kid and treat her/him as a "mediocre by choice"
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similarly 2 years ago
I was lucky that I had learning disabilities and adhd and dyslexia as a child, because in early childhood, I really had to struggle to learn things. Then, I went through a period in my life, jr high and high school and university, where everything just suddenly popped, and was easy, and I was like an unstoppable freight train. Then, I got my first job, and was totally unprepared to not be a thriving success right away. I had to relearn (painfully) that anything worth knowing takes time. I often say now that the price for being good at something is that first you have to be bad at it for awhile. Hard lesson to learn.
Bonniebluebutler 2 years ago
Here's the dichotomy: you're smart enough to know how to beat "the system", but are too afraid of failing to challenge yourself beyond "the system".
#16
The sad truth is that being smart isn't even a particuarly good indicator in living a happy and fulfilling life. You could be extremely smart and intelectually capable, but if you got beat up as a kid, your parents died, you developed some personality disorder etc., you're way worse off than someone well adjusted with a below average intelligence
#17
There's different levels of "smartness" and different smart people go about life in different ways. But, i think universally young prodigies are typically isolated. They are at a level far above children their age, but are far younger than the people that match intellectually with (lacking life experience). Either way, a young prodigy can't connect with either group.
#18
Many very intelligent young people are poorly stimulated and challenged. Without the proper mental exercise they're unlikely to live up to their potential.
Leo Domitrix 2 years ago
Even with it, we may choose not to live up to what *others* expect. Maybe we'd like to have fun, not just live according to our "potential"/"intellect", etc.
#19
It's sad to see dumb people making a dumb decision in front of your eyes and not be able to do anything but only give them advice. Most helpful advice are a waste.
Most dumb people argue a lot instead of reflecting as well using critical thinking. So you will never win an arguement against a dump or bias person. So just walk away and tell them they are right.
#20
They don't always find ways of living up to their potential.
Uber Mensch 2 years ago
"You can do better - you're smarter than this!" - "If I'm smarter, why don't you listen to me?" - "Don't be a smart-@ss!"
#21
Mental illness rates are dramatically higher -_-
#22
We waste them. Our entirely social structure from schools to mortgages are design for people with very average intellectually abilities. Smart people have to deal with the daily stress of living in a system that isn’t built for them and loose a lot of their productivity and take a real hit to their mental health as a result. If we stopped subjecting them to standardised systems designed against them just imagine how much further we would have advanced as a species.
EDIT: Just a small edit to clear up some confusion. I’m not advocating for redesigning our social structure to suit only the smartest x percent of our population. For those who aren’t familiar with inclusive design (mostly talked about when talking about designing digital systems but the principle is cross applicable) the basic idea is to design systems that provide room for different people to be able to use/fit into the system equally well despite their differences. There is absolutely no reason why we all have to live the same way or why we should be forcing people to live in a world that doesn’t have room for people like them.
#23
Many are just suffering from the Dunning Kruger effect and don’t know it
UpQuarkDownQuark 2 years ago
We all do. In fact, brilliant people can be the worst about it. “I’m a Nobel Prize-winning physicist and a classically trained cellist…therefore I’m qualified to speak at length and with authority about literally everything else!”
#24
smart does not automatically mean:
- ethical
- empathic
- conscientious
- realistic
- creative
- prosocial
#25
A lot of the “smart kids” in high school are being forced by their parents to succeed. When they become adults they have all the academic skills but little life skills and they struggle to succeed.
#26
Lots of people will be jealous of them and resent them, including family members.
#27
I think truly smart people, those genuinely rare geniuses, are so smart that the rest of us can’t even comprehend it.
It must be a very strange feeling going through life knowing that most people just can’t see and understand the things you do.
germs 2 years ago (edited)
Not a genius-level example. I once had to explain in a business meeting for around 90 minutes why we couldn't add an inch to only one side of a square and have it still be a square. I assume this is what smart people in smart professions have to deal with all too often.
#28
Intelligent people can't state that they're intelligent because people view that as a sign of not being intelligent. But also if you lord yourself around for being intelligent, there's the implication that you're belittling everyone around you by saying you're better than them. And people don't like that. If other people recognize a person as intelligent and respect that then there are no problems, but a lot of the times people won't do that because it gets in the way of their own pride (and if they do, then I find they're more likely to have more insecurities/less self-esteem). Then there's also the fact that intelligence is often conflated with success. Basically, people suck at gauging other people's intelligence, and that causes problems.
#29
Feel they cant have fun because they analyze everything
Lilly Parker 2 years ago
Like the fact that the previous post says loose not lose but if I point it out I’m a jerk but I can’t not see it and get annoyed when I’m just trying to read BP for fun?
#30
Plenty of smart people will live their whole lives never realizing they're smart.
What do you think ?
Piet Puk 2 years ago
I hate finding instant solutions to problems, being ignored and then hearing the same solution a half year later from a team of highly paid 'experts'.
Trevor Nicholson 2 years ago
So true. Years ago, I told my old boss that we should have an Instagram account. He, who thought he was so much smarter than I am, gave me a list of all the reasons why that was a bad idea. Cue six months later and we're having a company meeting where he says we're going to start an Instagram account and he wants me to run it because I know it more than anyone else. Some social media expert told him it was a good idea. He didn't even acknowledge that I had already suggested it.
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Evil Little Thing 2 years ago
Because it's a b******t thread created by miserable people who aren't as smart as they think they are. Smart people are less likely to have mental health problems and more likely to be happy and satisfied with their lives, not angst-ridden overachievers with imposter syndrome.
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madbakes 2 years ago
This was frustrating with all the misspellings about the lives of intelligent people.
T. D. Bostick 2 years ago
Here's another perspective from someone of above average intelligence. Don't take yourself so seriously and enjoy the stupid people like you're at a zoo. This post was unnecessarily morbid.
Erik Ivan 2 years ago
Thing is everyone is stupid in some fields, or know nothing about some things. We humans are usually only good at a fairly narrow and specific field. Trick is to acknowledge that and realise that in some cases we don't know enough to know how little we know. Example, a space engineer may be rubbish as a nurse. Or a banker may not be the brightest around when it comes to nurse a sick cow back to health. And the dude nursing said cow may be rubbish in economics Yet, in some proffessions it seems that people think they are the smartest in the room no matter what the topic is.
YHZ 2 years ago
"Intelligence" and "education" are not mutually inclusive--it is possible to be smart and not have gotten certain skills, so let's back down on that as a judgment on the ideas in this list. What bothers me more is the number of the people who comment on every post: smart people know that it is better to keep your mouth shut and have people think you are stupid, than to open your mouth and confirm their suspicions.
similarly 2 years ago
There really are a LOT of different kinds of intelligence. Some people are good are remembering stuff and repeating stuff they read. Some people are good at puzzles and figuring stuff out. Some people are brilliant with machines, or fixing things, or building things. Some people are innovators and creators. Some aren't good at inventing stuff, but are very good at understanding it and explaining it to others. One of the smartest people I ever knew had the simplest vocabulary, but he could explain complex math in a way that even I could understand it. Some people are wise, make good decisions, have a good way of interacting with others. There are so many ways to be "smart". Even though Einstein actually probably never really said this, it's not any less a good quote: Everybody is a genius, but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid.
Commander OwO 2 years ago
Sometimes stupid people make me realize how intelligent I am, to the point I started doubting my intelligence due to the possibility of me overestimating it. Doubting it made me even more confident in my intelligence, in fact I am so confident in my intelligence now, that I must be stupid.
Fiona Parky 2 years ago
I’m privileged to know a lot of people with a lot of letters after their name. The first thing you will notice about them is that they are self effacing and very aware of their own limitations. The second thing you notice is that those limits include knowing how to cook anything more complicated than cornflakes, knowing what year it is and how to wear more than one set of clothing. They will all tell you that book smart doesn’t mean life smart.
Yugan Talovich 2 years ago
I knew a couple, both professors at a top university, always at the top of their classes in school. They adamantly refused to allow their daughters to be put into "advanced" or "gifted" classes. For her sixth grade science project, the bigger daughter explored the role of the Mongolian pony in the conquests of Genghis Khan. Smart kids will find their own way.
Vincent Philippart 2 years ago
A main one is missing: therapy doesn't work for them most of the time. Shrinks are not trained adequately or the connection just doesn't happen.
Piet Puk 2 years ago
I hate finding instant solutions to problems, being ignored and then hearing the same solution a half year later from a team of highly paid 'experts'.
Trevor Nicholson 2 years ago
So true. Years ago, I told my old boss that we should have an Instagram account. He, who thought he was so much smarter than I am, gave me a list of all the reasons why that was a bad idea. Cue six months later and we're having a company meeting where he says we're going to start an Instagram account and he wants me to run it because I know it more than anyone else. Some social media expert told him it was a good idea. He didn't even acknowledge that I had already suggested it.
Load More Replies... Evil Little Thing 2 years ago
Because it's a b******t thread created by miserable people who aren't as smart as they think they are. Smart people are less likely to have mental health problems and more likely to be happy and satisfied with their lives, not angst-ridden overachievers with imposter syndrome.
Load More Replies... madbakes 2 years ago
This was frustrating with all the misspellings about the lives of intelligent people.
T. D. Bostick 2 years ago
Here's another perspective from someone of above average intelligence. Don't take yourself so seriously and enjoy the stupid people like you're at a zoo. This post was unnecessarily morbid.
Erik Ivan 2 years ago
Thing is everyone is stupid in some fields, or know nothing about some things. We humans are usually only good at a fairly narrow and specific field. Trick is to acknowledge that and realise that in some cases we don't know enough to know how little we know. Example, a space engineer may be rubbish as a nurse. Or a banker may not be the brightest around when it comes to nurse a sick cow back to health. And the dude nursing said cow may be rubbish in economics Yet, in some proffessions it seems that people think they are the smartest in the room no matter what the topic is.
YHZ 2 years ago
"Intelligence" and "education" are not mutually inclusive--it is possible to be smart and not have gotten certain skills, so let's back down on that as a judgment on the ideas in this list. What bothers me more is the number of the people who comment on every post: smart people know that it is better to keep your mouth shut and have people think you are stupid, than to open your mouth and confirm their suspicions.
similarly 2 years ago
There really are a LOT of different kinds of intelligence. Some people are good are remembering stuff and repeating stuff they read. Some people are good at puzzles and figuring stuff out. Some people are brilliant with machines, or fixing things, or building things. Some people are innovators and creators. Some aren't good at inventing stuff, but are very good at understanding it and explaining it to others. One of the smartest people I ever knew had the simplest vocabulary, but he could explain complex math in a way that even I could understand it. Some people are wise, make good decisions, have a good way of interacting with others. There are so many ways to be "smart". Even though Einstein actually probably never really said this, it's not any less a good quote: Everybody is a genius, but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid.
Commander OwO 2 years ago
Sometimes stupid people make me realize how intelligent I am, to the point I started doubting my intelligence due to the possibility of me overestimating it. Doubting it made me even more confident in my intelligence, in fact I am so confident in my intelligence now, that I must be stupid.
Fiona Parky 2 years ago
I’m privileged to know a lot of people with a lot of letters after their name. The first thing you will notice about them is that they are self effacing and very aware of their own limitations. The second thing you notice is that those limits include knowing how to cook anything more complicated than cornflakes, knowing what year it is and how to wear more than one set of clothing. They will all tell you that book smart doesn’t mean life smart.
Yugan Talovich 2 years ago
I knew a couple, both professors at a top university, always at the top of their classes in school. They adamantly refused to allow their daughters to be put into "advanced" or "gifted" classes. For her sixth grade science project, the bigger daughter explored the role of the Mongolian pony in the conquests of Genghis Khan. Smart kids will find their own way.
Vincent Philippart 2 years ago
A main one is missing: therapy doesn't work for them most of the time. Shrinks are not trained adequately or the connection just doesn't happen.
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