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30 Unwritten Rules Among Women That They Secretly Agree On Without Having To Talk About, As Shared Online
Having someone who you can rely on can enrich your existence in so many ways; good friends can bring out the best in you, and they're always ready to give you a hand whenever you feel like your life may start to crumble apart.
However, it’s important to give back and remember that every connection has its do’s and don'ts, and there are certain ethics that nobody communicates yet everyone always follows, even if the person in question is a random passer-by:
"Girls of Reddit, what is an unspoken rule of 'Girl Code?’" – this online user took to one of Reddit’s most thought-provoking communities to ask about the unwritten rules that women tend to live by. The question has managed to receive over 30K upvotes and 7.8K worth of comments discussing the most important rules of girlhood.
More info: Reddit
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#1
You help other women who seem to be in trouble. When I was a teenager my mom and I went to Walmart to get groceries. We split up to save time and a man started stalking me through the aisles. I finally got out to a main area and saw a lady with two kids. Walked right up to her and stood as close as possible. She was confused but when I made a motion at the guy, she understood. She loudly thanked me for getting the milk and called me honey. Also referred to her son as my brother. Once the guy left she stayed with me until I saw my mom, and then stayed where she was until I got to my mom and motioned that I was okay. That lady deserves an award for helping me that day.
Emerald Ocean 2 years ago
Everyone should help people in this scary predicament. This needs to be at the top!
Katinka Min 2 years ago (edited)
I dream, that one day men will stop being predators and stop stalking, raping and killing women.
Wilko Lunenburg 2 years ago
Almost all things mentioned here also apply to men. Okay, I do not have any tampons with me, but come to me for protection and I'm your brother / dad / friend.
propgamer XL 2 years ago
When I was young a guy was bothering me at the bus station and then I saw my roommate. He accidentally had to take the same bus home. ERIC!!! You big best friend and roommate from me! Was so happy to see him. Guy left immediately.
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AustrianGirl 2 years ago
I'm six years older than my sister, when she started going to parties she had to have someone to drive her and her friends (I'm from Austria, drinking at 16, driving at 17). A lot of times she asked me to come with her so they had a diver. Somehow I often ended up with a couple of drunk girls (I didn't know most of them), which I pretended to be my sisters or cousins...just to get rid of some really annoying guys. I always tried to get them to either call their parents or talk them out of their phone to call the parents or siblings myself - because no way I would let a drunk girl go with a guy she didn't know before being drunk, or go with a drunk driver. Some girls were really mad at me because the parents were not happy how drunk they were, but I will never forget that one mom thanking me in tears for looking out for her daughter. (Turned out she lost her older daughter because she got in a car with a drunk driver.)
Priscilla Reshell 2 years ago
If anyone comes up to and acts like they know me and there's a creepy man behind them I'll gladly act like I know them ❤️
Tigerpacingthecage 2 years ago
This is heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time. When I was younger (I'm 34 and more invisible to that now - not as easy as a target) and considered a "prey" many older (to me) women have helped me, especially at bus stops. I'm grateful but SO sad it's needed. I'm happy to help now. These type of "men" are usually going after kids and young women - like 12-20yrs. It's disgusting. And most other men just ignore (accept) it.
Elizabeth Rose 2 years ago (edited)
this is exactly what I would do for any woman in this position! Pro tip: be fat. it's like I don't even exist to men or women or people since gaining 100lbs.Thanks Prednisone! You're the best! 🤣
Gail Peterson 2 years ago
Sad, but true fact. My weight has fluctuated from size 4 to 20+ multiple times during my adult years, and when I'm heavy it's like I'm almost invisible. No eye contact now vs much eye contact when I was thin. Since I have experienced it several times I try to make sure I'm not perpetuating that with others.
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WordWeaver 2 years ago
It's so wrong that this should EVER be necessary. Men need to stop seeing females as prey animals! But well done to all those who protect the endangered!
Gypsy Lee 2 years ago
If you notice someone acting off, tell people. A man was stalking my 9 year old daughter in the store. I kept her close & aggressively glared direct eye contact & shook my head no. Another mother happened by with an even younger daughter so I told her what was going on.. loudly, in front of him. He scurried away after that, but at least that woman knew to watch for him.
Leesha Coons 2 years ago
I would hope someone would do this for my daughter if this ever happened to her! And I would do the same for someone else’s hold as well!
Autistic apricot 2 years ago
Replying to IAmSomeone hoping they will read it. If women do all those things to men, it’s just showing that it’s ok to repeat and it’s really not. 2 wrongs don’t make a right.
Amy Stone-Chandler 2 years ago
My daughter is 16. A gorgeous blonde. She goes through the same s**t I did when I was younger. Although, USUALLY men are less "grabby/touchy" now. I have taught both my kids that if they are ever in trouble or are uncomfortable in public(when I'm not there) walk up to any woman. One with kids IF possible. It takes a village folks!
Mandy Delaforce (PC Girl) 2 years ago
She should have reported it to security. This person got away to do it to another child.
RELATED:
#2
Person 1: I like your dress!
Person 2: Thanks! It has pockets! <displays said pockets>
If your dress has pockets, you let them know.
Fiona Parky 2 years ago
You also have to put your hands in the pockets as you say this. It’s a thing
#3
If there's a red spot on her pants you tell her discreetly and immediately.
EDIT: A lot of guys are asking what to do if they see a woman with a blood stain. You have two options. You could tell her yourself which may or may not be appreciated depending on the woman. Or you could simply ask another woman to tell her. I love how many guys wanna help look out for the ladies who end up in this predicament! :D
Dippin Dot 2 years ago
My son is almost 14 and I have told him if he sees this in school he immediately hands the girl his sweatshirt to tie around her waste - and just needs to say “you’ll want to tie this around your waste. You can bring it back to me tomorrow.” If he doesn’t have a sweatshirt he needs to just be polite and say “I don’t want you to get embarrassed but I thought you should know you have something on your pants” and point to his own butt…
#4
My personal unspoken rule is keep an eye on other girls drinks when you are at the bar. Even if I don't know them. I have asked random strangers to keep an eye on mine and they are always like, "GIRL YES we have to look out for each other!"
#5
If another girl comes over to you and pretends to know you, no questions asked we've been friends for 30 years and haven't seen each other in 5.
And always give a tampon if you have one, and someone needs one.
Edit: never lend tampons, always give.
#6
As far as I've ever seen, every girl knows 'the look'. 'The look' is a look a girl gets on her face when she is in a situation that she doesn't want to be in, it's part 'help me' and part 'get me out of here'.
When you see this look, you step in. Doesn't matter if you know the girl or not.
GirlFriday 2 years ago
I will be anyone's aunt. ANYONE'S. AUNT. ANY. TIME. I just have to see the look or have them look my way for too long, and BOOM, I swoop in with Auntie check-in. I will also call any female (or male), no matter age, color, nationality, or religion "Sugar Pop" if I think they need help because that is the nickname I call my nieces.
#7
No women left behind at the club. You look out for and take care of your girls and don’t let random men drag them away without their explicit permission.
Joely King 2 years ago
Literally any girl who looks alone or uncomfortable with someone. Always watch out for your girls no matter what.
#9
If their strap is twisted, untwist it. Always carry extra feminine products, and extra hair Ties. And if she’s being harassed, you just link up and walk with her, no questions asked.
Also, my daughters have a literal code... if they ever text me the secret code, I will drop everything I’m doing and call them immediately, make up a major crisis and demand to come get them immediately. Make it 100% my fault, but give them an immediate out to any situation they don’t feel able to simply walk away from.
#10
If she's dating a known abuser, take turns getting her out of the house. Play cards, shop for shoes, ask her to help you lay out the garden, make pie. Never broach the subject yourself - just make sure she knows she's welcome any time, day or night, with or without advance notice.
Hill Branda 2 years ago
Ummm...what do reusable shopping bags have to do with this topic? You have the wrong picture to go with "If She's Dating an Abuser..."
#11
Do not post group pictures on social media with friends unless everyone involved knows & approves of said pic.
#12
If you walk into the bathroom and the girl in there is being quiet, you do your business and leave as quickly as you can. Girl is trying to poop!
#13
Tell her when you see him cheating, snap a pic for proof if you can. I've lost friends for this but I'll still do it every time.
#14
This could be a trend across genders too but when a girl says they love something you are wearing you always tell her where you bought it and how much it was and ESPECIALLY if you got it for a discount.
flutterbyy 2 years ago
What if they are the spoils I collected from a robbery, should I tell them the address?
#15
Everyone is friends in the bar bathroom after 11, no matter what.
Joely King 2 years ago
Best friends foreverrrrrr! Until the bar closes and you never see them again.
#16
- Protect each other. Don't care if it's your sister or a complete stranger.
- text your friends to check if they got home safe
- stay with them while their uber or taxi etc comes
- Check over that message she is going to send to the guy she likes to see if it sounds okay. Some communications require a group effort
- Sanitary items to all vaginal having humans who need.
#17
Do not....f**k your friends boyfriend or ex-boyfriend
#18
Lipstick on their teeth, eyeliner in the corner of their eye, skirt tucked into pantyhose. You let them know without making a huge deal about it.
GirlFriday 2 years ago
The universal sign for lipstick on someone's teeth is to touch (or come close to) your own front teeth with your index finger while looking at the other woman. Every woman knows what mean.
#19
If you get breast cancer, let as many people as possible feel your lump so they know what they are looking for! Before my mastectomy, my breast made a lot of new friends—early detection can mean the difference between life and death.
Emerald Ocean 2 years ago
Eh this one is a little weird for me tho it may just be my introverted self talking
#20
Human wall any girl if the only option is to pee in public
Emma Starr 2 years ago
Yeah, I was on a trip to Poland with a school group and there were no places to go at all...we found a field that seemed to have cover. Nope. Caught pants down peeing on the ground in Poland.
#21
if friend drinks too much and starts to puke, always hold her hair back for her
ace axolotl (she/her) 2 years ago
or tie it up. that brings me to another rule: you ALWAYS lend or give hair ties when another girl asks for one! (this is not just for girls of course)
#22
If your friend gets back with her s***ty ex you always support your friend but you also tell her the truth and say if the relationship is toxic.
#23
This one especially applies to college girls. If you're at a party and you see a girl doing something she might regret the next day due to drinking WAY too much, you go over there and make sure shes okay.
#24
You always pretend that you know each other when a guy is being a jerk and you (or they) need a way out of a conversation.
BonnyDK 2 years ago
I had a high school friend help me out this way. There was a tall guy in one of my classes that was hitting on me in Jr. college. Would not leave me alone. Followed me across campus. Kept asking me out and I kept turning him down. He was getting particularly aggressive when I turned a corner and my friend from HS grabbed me close and kissed me well! Acted like he was my boyfriend. The guy had been saying I wouldn't date him cause he was black. My high school friend was black. The guy left in shock and did not bother me again. My friend told me to stay away from him because he was bad news. Very thankful he was there when I needed him.
#25
Console the crying one
flutterbyy 2 years ago
Or offer them water (I'm really awkward at consoling people, so offering water seems to do the trick).
#26
if you're wearing a hair tie on your wrist and someone asks for a hair tie, you give it to them (and accept that you likely will never see it again)
Disgruntled Pelican 2 years ago
I always carry extra hair ties, tampons/pads, ibuprofen/tylenol, and a nail kit. You never know when someone will need it!
#27
Also added to sanitary products, pain killers!! If you got em handy, help a b***h out!
What's In Your Head? 2 years ago (edited)
You know, those actually look like fantastic painkillers. I could definitely use a dose of stars, colours and glitter (in other words, new life energy!) now and then. If only it'd work that way.
#28
Stupid or not, the original Girl Code is that once you have any sort of sexual/romantic link to a guy (even just saying you like him) he is 100% off-limits to all friends.
(This rule is more nuanced when the object of desire is another woman.)
Deutschland Mädchen 2 years ago
Unless it's a celebrity crush then by all means gush over the cuteness together
#29
The 5-minute rule. If it can be fixed in 5 minutes or less tell her!
If it can't (bloat situation etc..) then there's no need to say anything because it will literally only make her feel bad.
#30
There is an almost imperceptible line between intrusive prurience and interest in the sex lives of your friends that's defined by their inclination to share rather than you inquiring or making insinuations. Many friends will discuss sex candidly, others will use discretion, and some will resent the intrusion; always wait to be confided in rather than commit an indiscretion.
There are weird assumptions about the 'sisterhood' that we talk about penis sizes etc without reserve. This is untrue.
What do you think ?
Sky Render 2 years ago (edited)
I hate how so much of our code is centered around protecting ourselves and each other from men of ill intent. It shouldn't have to be like that!
Fiona Parky 2 years ago
I was the recipient of a “girls together”. I was being followed down the road by a gang of lads calling out about my legs and wolf whistling etc. It was about 10pm and a busy city centre. They got very aggressive and I took refuge in a coffee shop. The girls there literally smuggled me out the back into a taxi they’d called. That’s proper support.
Mimi M 2 years ago
If your friend even expresses interest in a guy (hasn't yet acted on it), he's off limits.
Kim Vargas 2 years ago
Adorable how most of women's code is trying not to get murdered, and most of guy code is toilet etiquette and food. 😄😄😫😭 https://www.boredpanda.com/men-share-unwritten-rules-reddit/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic
Christopher Metzinger 2 years ago
That is mostly driven by social constructs, not all men and not all women, based on percieved gain. Ive watched women flirt excessively in provacative attire in a club then deny any and all contact after she gets her drink.. Now I dont go to clubs as a rule, nor do I acknowledge those kinds of women as Real, but, you are not 'dressing up for other women' as they say.
Load More Replies...
AsexualShrimp 2 years ago
This was perfect for me. I was recently harassed in public and I didn’t know what the f to do. These tips are helpful for the next time. Thanks!
Kosmap Gul 2 years ago
And lastly, learn and accept when you are being protective or you are just cockblocking her out of jelousy.
Unnamed Hooman 2 years ago
If a girl says something bad about how she looks, ALWAYS REASSURE HER THAT SHE LOOKS LIKE A QUEEN BECAUSE EVERYONE IS BEAUTIFUL
Christopher Metzinger 2 years ago
Or help her work on her self esteem, instead of using her mality asxa tool.
Load More Replies... Christine Brennan 2 years ago
She is always ALWAYS prettier than the new broad no matter what she looks like... probably already feels like dung, there's no need to make it worse, even if it's true, man...
Liz-ard 2 years ago
Well, I can definitely say I will not carrying around a small pharmacy just in case someone else suddenly need something! Neither will I put myself in predicament - find myself alone at night for instance - because a “silent code” says I have to see that someone else gets home!
Jill 2 years ago
There is sort of unspoken help we teachers give to one another as well. Remember, women make up most of the teaching workforce in most subjects (except for math and science). Things like telling each other when there is a tag hanging out, a smudge or toothpaste on your face or something else that can be potentially embarrasing. Students will pick these things out immediately and giggle throughout the entire day but never say anything.
Ashley Andrews 2 years ago
Really...😒 The title states 30 unwritten rules When Soooooooo many were basically repeated over and over😞 ... I'm pretty sure we could come up with an actual 30 😉 with out any being repeated...✌🙉🙈🙊
AustrianGirl 2 years ago
Please only do that if you know the person or asked before. I would not be okay if someone came up to me and did that.
Load More Replies...
Kristal 2 years ago
I have come to the conclusion that I am not a typical female. I had no idea about some of these
Lyone Fein 2 years ago
Another girl rule I have is about beggars. I will almost always give money to women who are asking for help.
Sky Render 2 years ago (edited)
I hate how so much of our code is centered around protecting ourselves and each other from men of ill intent. It shouldn't have to be like that!
Fiona Parky 2 years ago
I was the recipient of a “girls together”. I was being followed down the road by a gang of lads calling out about my legs and wolf whistling etc. It was about 10pm and a busy city centre. They got very aggressive and I took refuge in a coffee shop. The girls there literally smuggled me out the back into a taxi they’d called. That’s proper support.
Mimi M 2 years ago
If your friend even expresses interest in a guy (hasn't yet acted on it), he's off limits.
Kim Vargas 2 years ago
Adorable how most of women's code is trying not to get murdered, and most of guy code is toilet etiquette and food. 😄😄😫😭 https://www.boredpanda.com/men-share-unwritten-rules-reddit/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic
Christopher Metzinger 2 years ago
That is mostly driven by social constructs, not all men and not all women, based on percieved gain. Ive watched women flirt excessively in provacative attire in a club then deny any and all contact after she gets her drink.. Now I dont go to clubs as a rule, nor do I acknowledge those kinds of women as Real, but, you are not 'dressing up for other women' as they say.
Load More Replies... AsexualShrimp 2 years ago
This was perfect for me. I was recently harassed in public and I didn’t know what the f to do. These tips are helpful for the next time. Thanks!
Kosmap Gul 2 years ago
And lastly, learn and accept when you are being protective or you are just cockblocking her out of jelousy.
Unnamed Hooman 2 years ago
If a girl says something bad about how she looks, ALWAYS REASSURE HER THAT SHE LOOKS LIKE A QUEEN BECAUSE EVERYONE IS BEAUTIFUL
Christopher Metzinger 2 years ago
Or help her work on her self esteem, instead of using her mality asxa tool.
Load More Replies... Christine Brennan 2 years ago
She is always ALWAYS prettier than the new broad no matter what she looks like... probably already feels like dung, there's no need to make it worse, even if it's true, man...
Liz-ard 2 years ago
Well, I can definitely say I will not carrying around a small pharmacy just in case someone else suddenly need something! Neither will I put myself in predicament - find myself alone at night for instance - because a “silent code” says I have to see that someone else gets home!
Jill 2 years ago
There is sort of unspoken help we teachers give to one another as well. Remember, women make up most of the teaching workforce in most subjects (except for math and science). Things like telling each other when there is a tag hanging out, a smudge or toothpaste on your face or something else that can be potentially embarrasing. Students will pick these things out immediately and giggle throughout the entire day but never say anything.
Ashley Andrews 2 years ago
Really...😒 The title states 30 unwritten rules When Soooooooo many were basically repeated over and over😞 ... I'm pretty sure we could come up with an actual 30 😉 with out any being repeated...✌🙉🙈🙊
AustrianGirl 2 years ago
Please only do that if you know the person or asked before. I would not be okay if someone came up to me and did that.
Load More Replies... Kristal 2 years ago
I have come to the conclusion that I am not a typical female. I had no idea about some of these
Lyone Fein 2 years ago
Another girl rule I have is about beggars. I will almost always give money to women who are asking for help.
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