Being kind is more than just putting on a smile. It’s also about understanding other people’s boundaries and treating them with respect. And a post from the subreddit r/BoomersBeingFools by platform user OinkiePig_ shows what happens if you don’t—you make things so much harder for yourself. In it, the guy recalled a time when he was approached by a lady asking for directions, and he would have happily helped her if she wouldn’t have been so rude to him. Instead, she had to stew in her own frustration.

In everyday situations with strangers, just a few words can determine if it’s a peaceful exchange or a heated argument

Image credits: Teona Swift / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Something this guy has experienced when he was approached for help to navigate the city

Image credits: MART PRODUCTION / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: OinkiePig_

When dealing with rude strangers, we can and should stand up for ourselves, but we shouldn’t expect an apology

Image credits: Budgeron Bach / Pexels (not the actual photo)

“Everyone deserves respect. When a stranger is rude to you, it can be infuriating as this person, who does not even know you, is treating you in a … judgmental way,” says psychologist Maria Faustino.

Oftentimes, it’s not entirely clear how to react in these situations. Especially when you’re in them and everything is happening so fast.

“It is important to express how you feel when you have the opportunity,” Faustino highlights, but “you don’t have to be rude or aggressive to the stranger to get your point across.”

If you don’t give a response and the problem of that stranger’s rudeness remains unaddressed, it can haunt you.

“While not saying anything alleviates anxiety in the short-term, it can increase anxiety in the long-term as it is a form of avoidance, and you were not able to truly express how you were feeling at the time,” Maria warns.

Image credits: Freepik (not the actual photo)

The key, according to the psychologist, is to focus your response on the person’s behavior and not make into an attack on them.

When calling out someone’s rudeness, we have to also keep in mind that they might not apologize, and because that is out of our control, it shouldn’t be the main goal.

“Don’t expect them to understand your perspective,” Faustino adds. “The purpose of the exercise is to be assertive and allow you to stand up for yourself, not to get an apology, which is out of our hands.”

But if you didn’t think of that perfect comeback until hours later (which to me often happens when I least expect it), that’s also okay. Be kind to yourself.

“Don’t beat yourself up if you were unable to express yourself in the moment. Often times when a stranger is rude to us, we can be so shocked that we freeze,” explains Maria.

So it’s pretty hard to judge the author of the post for his reaction. After all, he didn’t fire back at the lady. At least not directly.

As the post went viral, other people immediately started reacting to it and sharing their own encounters

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But some thought the man could’ve been kinder

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