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GF Breaks Off Relationship On Their Anniversary Because BF Of 3 Years Took Too Long To Propose
Interview With Expert
A proposal is a huge deal because it symbolizes couple’s commitment to one another. Some folks place a lot of importance on their engagement and even have an idea of how they want it to happen or when’s the right time for them.
The only problem is if their partner hesitates or takes too long to get down on one knee. That’s the exact predicament a woman found herself in because her boyfriend kept finding ways to delay proposing to her. In the end, she had to make a tough choice between staying with him and ending things.
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Love can only get you so far in a relationship because if both partners aren’t on the same page about important stuff, things can fall apart very easily
Image credits: Hrant Khachatryan / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The poster explained that she had been with her boyfriend for three years but fell out of love because he kept saying he would propose but still hadn’t made a move
Image credits: Gift Habeshaw / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Netizens advised the woman to tell her boyfriend about her feelings sooner rather than later so that he wouldn’t get hurt if he did end up proposing
Image credits: Feisty8799
Image credits: Drazen Zigic / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The woman also shared that she didn’t want to move in with someone unless she was engaged to them, but her boyfriend convinced her to do so by saying he would definitely propose
Image credits: Victoria Romulo / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The poster felt resentful of having broken her boundaries for her boyfriend while he still kept delaying the proposal
Image credits: Feisty8799
Eventually, the poster broke up with her hesitant partner before their anniversary
The problem with the woman’s situation is that her boyfriend convinced her to move in with him by saying that he would eventually propose. The OP then learned that he had bought a ring because he had asked her sister for advice. Eighteen months later, he still hadn’t got down on one knee, which ruined her excitement.
To understand this situation better, Bored Panda reached out to Dr. Zoe Shaw. She is a writer, therapist, author, and speaker. She works with the Grit and Grace Project to guide people in need of support.
Dr. Zoe explained that “men drag their feet for a variety of reasons. So many women get caught up and distracted by wanting to understand why he is not proposing, which just allows them to wait longer.”
“If your man isn’t proposing, it’s because he doesn’t want to marry you, and the sooner you accept this, the better.” Dr. Zoe mentioned some of the common reasons for men delaying proposals. She said that “men don’t have the same biological clock, and they are not as concerned about getting married in a specific time frame as women.”
A few of the other reasons she mentioned included men not seeing their partner as “wife material.” Maybe if she already “acts like a wife, moves in, shares household tasks, and even co-mingles assets, there is less of a drive for him to marry.” Even financial security plays an important role in their decision.
Whatever the reason this man delayed the proposal, his girlfriend felt like she couldn’t possibly wait any longer. She had also broken her boundary of having a live-in relationship all because of her partner’s certainty that they’d get hitched. Unfortunately, his hesitation and empty promises just made her feel all the more resentful.
Image credits: Anthony Tran / Unslash (not the actual photo)
One of the most stark things netizens noticed about the situation was that the woman’s love for her boyfriend was starting to lessen. She not only felt annoyed about having to live in with him, but also that he didn’t want to move to the next step yet. She did confront him about it a few times, but he kept giving her excuses.
Dr. Zoe Shaw explained that “women want to get married for the legal, social, and emotional protection that marriage provides. It’s biologically wired in women to seek out someone who can provide and protect them during their childbearing years.”
“I think women need to honor this desire instead of second-guessing it or allowing society (or the men they are dating) to gaslight them into thinking that this is not a valid desire,” she said.
The OP did eventually decide that she didn’t want to keep waiting around for her partner to make up his mind. She ended things with him just as they were nearing their anniversary. The man felt blindsided by her decision and told her that he was actually planning to propose soon, but knowing his empty promises, she didn’t waver.
Dr. Zoe said that if a man is taking too long to propose, it’s important to “have a hard conversation with him, where you lovingly outline your long-term goals and assess whether you two are on the same page. Believe him if he says he isn’t ready or needs more time. Decide how much more time you’re willing to give the relationship.”
She also said: “I know it’s scary to end a relationship that is otherwise good. I know it feels easier to try to wait it out. Ultimately, if he intends to marry you, he won’t let you go that easily. If he never intended to marry you, he will let you go, and it’s a win/win, even though it hurts. You just saved yourself a bucketload of time.”
Although it might have been tough for the OP to end a 3-year-long relationship, hopefully, it leads to more happiness in the future. What do you think about her desire to get engaged and how it influenced her decision to breakup with her boyfriend? We’d love to know your thoughts.
People were divided about the poster’s decision; some felt she was being too rash, while others agreed that it was better she moved on with her life
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What do you think ?
Jane No Dough 4 days ago
Feel like there's a lot OP's not saying here, that living with this person was kind of a letdown in more ways than this one. Some of us are too "nice" for our own good, and partners put all kinds of "conditions" on their "ideal future". I grew up in a world where empty promises were the only promises. I am good at telling the difference and have planned and executed many escapes as soon as that red flag pops up.
iseefractals 4 days ago
Wanting to live together before you spend a sizable amount of money, and propose a lifelong commitment, isn't an unreasonable condition. Expecting that someone is going to do those things based off of limited, prearranged interactions in which both parties always have an "out" and are only presenting their "best, most curated self" is an insane expectation in 2025. She's literally the one who put conditions on the "ideal future" and he didn't live up to the manufactured ideal she concocted in her mind....which is why when presented with the reality that what she claimed to be depressed about was going to happen, she bolted. "It's not how i imagined it to be, he didn't do it fast enough" He dodged a big ol' bullet.
Load More Replies...
Daman dan 4 days ago
They both did really. I don't think they had the same expectations from this relationship.
Load More Replies...
Janelle Collard 4 days ago
OP's doing the right thing for her. Her ex-BF has been pushing her to do stuff she's not comfortable with, starting with, "Move in with me after 8 months of dating." He's not making her happy so why would she stay with him?
Pa 1 day ago
Yeah, move in after 8 months of dating. So outrageous! And then taking a year and a half to propose. Even more appalling! He wasted his time on her. She's a malcontent and can't get happy..Is her name Veruca Salt? (I want it nooooww. Oh wait. No I don't. We'll, when it comes to what I want, I Want It Noooooww) Veruca ended up on the trash heap.
Load More Replies...
Sara Frazer 4 days ago
I dunno, I'm for living together before moving on to something as serious as an engagement
Joey Jo Jo Shabadoo 4 days ago
The "acknowledging a problem but never changing anything" is a classic red flag. The men who do that a lot are always the ones who are "blindsided" by a break-up, too, because they never take anything their partner says seriously.
Orysha 3 days ago
From what I've read, OP needs to be engaged before living with someone and fell out of love with her partner because he didn't propose soon enough? The dude was right by asking they tried living together to find out if they were compatible. Why did she move in with him if engagement was a non-negotiable option? Stand your ground for yourself because no one else will.
Agat 4 days ago (edited)
Ridiculous. She blames him for moving in with him, blames him for not proposing after 1.5 year of being together... But nevermind that, what the hell is with her obsession to get married? This childish agreement that he "will propose" on this or that day. Proposing means asking a certain question - which simply means that she behaves like all children do when they are playing. "Now you say this and do that, and I will say that and do this". This is so incredibly absurd that I have no words. Let's agree that you'll ask me a question tomorrow - one that I know - and then I will pretend to be surprised and moved, and then I'll say yes, and you will give me the ring that I saw. And we will pretend that it changes anything. How idiotic, all of it.
FreeTheUnicorn 3 days ago
There's no controversy, if you are t excited to marry someone, you shouldn't marry them. Sounds like living together was the right thing to do because it showed how incompatible they are.
David 3 days ago (edited)
Tl;dr: "I wanted him to propose before we moved in together. He wanted to make sure we could live under the same roof peacefully before he proposed to me. This is when we should have broken up but didn't."
Susie Elle 4 days ago
Where I live, getting married after only three years together is hella quick.
JD 2 days ago
I would never marry someone without living with them for at least a full calendar year. Gotta see them in every season. My husband is a different animal in the summer than the winter. I'd also want to take a least one trip, because not everyone travels the same. You see someone in enough real situations, you see the real them. I don't think I could get that without living together.
Gwyn 3 days ago
It seems like he just didn't feel the same way she did. I think if I felt that my BF was only proposing because I wanted him to and he kept delaying doing it, I would lose my excitement for it too. I was lucky enough to be proposed to after just a couple months of dating, my husband was absolutely certain I was the one and there was no reason to wait. I never had doubt about how he felt about me. I can understand why she would!
Mary Allan 3 days ago
I think she did the right for her. Wether or not her expectations of marriage before cohabiting are a reasonable thing or not, if she feels they are no longer compatible and she no longer loves him as a potentail spouse, leaving is the right thing to do. It may also be that it would have happened anyway. It sounds like she wasn't happy living with him and the shine wore off. Maybe better to find that out before marriage.
Pa 1 day ago
OP is a control freak weirdo. Nothing he did is unreasonable for people who want to plan their lives together forever. She may have an agenda that even she is unaware of but, either way, she's playing games and who wants that crappee? Maybe she would do best with an arranged marriage where everything is wrapped up so she'll have nothing to freak out about (although something tells me she's the type who will always find something...) He dodged the bullet and hopefully every other guy will too. She's built to play by herself. I Do eVerYthinG and NBoDy comPRomiSes!! Waaaaahhhhh. We've all heard that and know it's bs. If there was no compromise she would have been on the pavement a long time ago. Good riddance.
FluffButt Central 2 days ago (edited)
I think some are missing the other things she mentioned. He never compromised. She's done all the giving in. If he had suggested renting a new place together, it may have been different. Instead she moved into his place and it never "felt like home." Sounds like there were others things he didn't compromise on. Another point is that he bought the ring a long time ago, yet he kept dangle the proposal. He waited. One doesn't just fall out of love because of a delayed proposal. There were more issues at hand. The OP is putting this on the proposal but they've had problems for sometime. She's just opening her eyes to it now.
Jane No Dough 4 days ago
Feel like there's a lot OP's not saying here, that living with this person was kind of a letdown in more ways than this one. Some of us are too "nice" for our own good, and partners put all kinds of "conditions" on their "ideal future". I grew up in a world where empty promises were the only promises. I am good at telling the difference and have planned and executed many escapes as soon as that red flag pops up.
iseefractals 4 days ago
Wanting to live together before you spend a sizable amount of money, and propose a lifelong commitment, isn't an unreasonable condition. Expecting that someone is going to do those things based off of limited, prearranged interactions in which both parties always have an "out" and are only presenting their "best, most curated self" is an insane expectation in 2025. She's literally the one who put conditions on the "ideal future" and he didn't live up to the manufactured ideal she concocted in her mind....which is why when presented with the reality that what she claimed to be depressed about was going to happen, she bolted. "It's not how i imagined it to be, he didn't do it fast enough" He dodged a big ol' bullet.
Load More Replies... Daman dan 4 days ago
They both did really. I don't think they had the same expectations from this relationship.
Load More Replies... Janelle Collard 4 days ago
OP's doing the right thing for her. Her ex-BF has been pushing her to do stuff she's not comfortable with, starting with, "Move in with me after 8 months of dating." He's not making her happy so why would she stay with him?
Pa 1 day ago
Yeah, move in after 8 months of dating. So outrageous! And then taking a year and a half to propose. Even more appalling! He wasted his time on her. She's a malcontent and can't get happy..Is her name Veruca Salt? (I want it nooooww. Oh wait. No I don't. We'll, when it comes to what I want, I Want It Noooooww) Veruca ended up on the trash heap.
Load More Replies... Sara Frazer 4 days ago
I dunno, I'm for living together before moving on to something as serious as an engagement
Joey Jo Jo Shabadoo 4 days ago
The "acknowledging a problem but never changing anything" is a classic red flag. The men who do that a lot are always the ones who are "blindsided" by a break-up, too, because they never take anything their partner says seriously.
Orysha 3 days ago
From what I've read, OP needs to be engaged before living with someone and fell out of love with her partner because he didn't propose soon enough? The dude was right by asking they tried living together to find out if they were compatible. Why did she move in with him if engagement was a non-negotiable option? Stand your ground for yourself because no one else will.
Agat 4 days ago (edited)
Ridiculous. She blames him for moving in with him, blames him for not proposing after 1.5 year of being together... But nevermind that, what the hell is with her obsession to get married? This childish agreement that he "will propose" on this or that day. Proposing means asking a certain question - which simply means that she behaves like all children do when they are playing. "Now you say this and do that, and I will say that and do this". This is so incredibly absurd that I have no words. Let's agree that you'll ask me a question tomorrow - one that I know - and then I will pretend to be surprised and moved, and then I'll say yes, and you will give me the ring that I saw. And we will pretend that it changes anything. How idiotic, all of it.
FreeTheUnicorn 3 days ago
There's no controversy, if you are t excited to marry someone, you shouldn't marry them. Sounds like living together was the right thing to do because it showed how incompatible they are.
David 3 days ago (edited)
Tl;dr: "I wanted him to propose before we moved in together. He wanted to make sure we could live under the same roof peacefully before he proposed to me. This is when we should have broken up but didn't."
Susie Elle 4 days ago
Where I live, getting married after only three years together is hella quick.
JD 2 days ago
I would never marry someone without living with them for at least a full calendar year. Gotta see them in every season. My husband is a different animal in the summer than the winter. I'd also want to take a least one trip, because not everyone travels the same. You see someone in enough real situations, you see the real them. I don't think I could get that without living together.
Gwyn 3 days ago
It seems like he just didn't feel the same way she did. I think if I felt that my BF was only proposing because I wanted him to and he kept delaying doing it, I would lose my excitement for it too. I was lucky enough to be proposed to after just a couple months of dating, my husband was absolutely certain I was the one and there was no reason to wait. I never had doubt about how he felt about me. I can understand why she would!
Mary Allan 3 days ago
I think she did the right for her. Wether or not her expectations of marriage before cohabiting are a reasonable thing or not, if she feels they are no longer compatible and she no longer loves him as a potentail spouse, leaving is the right thing to do. It may also be that it would have happened anyway. It sounds like she wasn't happy living with him and the shine wore off. Maybe better to find that out before marriage.
Pa 1 day ago
OP is a control freak weirdo. Nothing he did is unreasonable for people who want to plan their lives together forever. She may have an agenda that even she is unaware of but, either way, she's playing games and who wants that crappee? Maybe she would do best with an arranged marriage where everything is wrapped up so she'll have nothing to freak out about (although something tells me she's the type who will always find something...) He dodged the bullet and hopefully every other guy will too. She's built to play by herself. I Do eVerYthinG and NBoDy comPRomiSes!! Waaaaahhhhh. We've all heard that and know it's bs. If there was no compromise she would have been on the pavement a long time ago. Good riddance.
FluffButt Central 2 days ago (edited)
I think some are missing the other things she mentioned. He never compromised. She's done all the giving in. If he had suggested renting a new place together, it may have been different. Instead she moved into his place and it never "felt like home." Sounds like there were others things he didn't compromise on. Another point is that he bought the ring a long time ago, yet he kept dangle the proposal. He waited. One doesn't just fall out of love because of a delayed proposal. There were more issues at hand. The OP is putting this on the proposal but they've had problems for sometime. She's just opening her eyes to it now.
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