Swearing is a common way for people to express their emotions and frustrations, but it can also be a source of conflict or discomfort in certain social and professional situations. For some individuals, swearing may be explicitly prohibited by their workplace, religious beliefs, or personal values. In these cases, finding alternative phrases or euphemisms can be a useful way to express oneself without risking offense or punishment.

I’m not allowed to swear so I say stuff like "freaking", "shoot" and most notably "fudgeknuckles" to avoid punishment. I’ve heard stuff like "frubida" and have recently adopted "shiitake" and I’m eager to hear what you say. I also wanted to find out what are the other alternatives people use, so I decided to ask the Bored Panda community: “What is the most ridiculous thing you say so you don’t swear?” Scroll down to see what the answers were.

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#1

30 Most Ridiculous Things You Say So You Don’t Swear, Shared By Our Community Sometimes, when I'm really pissed, I moo instead of swearing. Don't ask me why, I don't know either.

Claudio Schwarz Report

Final score:
120points
Markus Holstein
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#2

30 Most Ridiculous Things You Say So You Don’t Swear, Shared By Our Community 1. Mother-father
2. Dog farts
3. Got-dandruff-some-of-it-itches
4. Son of a biscuit

Joe Smith Report

Final score:
91points
Vanner
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#3

30 Most Ridiculous Things You Say So You Don’t Swear, Shared By Our Community I would imagine someone swearing in medieval languages, like thou art a cookie or something.

Henry Hustava Report

Final score:
69points
Andrei Marentette
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September
September
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I like using breakfast cereal names to insult people. You GrapeNut, You're being a total Fruitloop, etc...

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#4

30 Most Ridiculous Things You Say So You Don’t Swear, Shared By Our Community fudge nuggets, gosh dang nabbit and shiitaki mudhrooms.

Yuval Zukerman Report

Final score:
65points
Kira Zor-El
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#5

30 Most Ridiculous Things You Say So You Don’t Swear, Shared By Our Community Fekkin' is one of my favorites. That and "for the love of ballpoint pens".

Masjid MABA Report

Final score:
62points
becca
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#6

30 Most Ridiculous Things You Say So You Don’t Swear, Shared By Our Community One time I stubbed my toe in school and went "FFFFFF" and then slowly went "...fructose." The teacher was skeptical. I also really like bull-spit and just any medieval or creative curse, such as beaver dam and God Daniel it.

Erwan Hesry Report

Final score:
54points
Has sold soul for corn chip
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#7

30 Most Ridiculous Things You Say So You Don’t Swear, Shared By Our Community Idiotic brain-damaged booger pickin chicken butt! It’s one sentence.

sippakorn yamkasikorn Report

Final score:
53points
Georgia Hebert
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#8

30 Most Ridiculous Things You Say So You Don’t Swear, Shared By Our Community "Monkeyface". Do you want to hear the evolution of why I say that? If not, too bad.
So, when I was little, I liked Spy Kids. The main character, Carmen, says "Oh, shiitake mushrooms" bc she can't curse. So I started saying it until my mom told me it was an actual curse word (oops).
My mom says "shmonks" when she's trying not to curse, which is a derivative of "shiitake mushrooms". So I started saying "monkeyface".And now when I stub my toe I scream:
‘Holy goodness!’, but the ‘monkeyface’ thing was cool for a while.

Saketh Upadhya Report

Final score:
47points
Raven DeathShade
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#9

30 Most Ridiculous Things You Say So You Don’t Swear, Shared By Our Community Dirty poodles. Worked in an animal shelter for a spell and also am certified in pet grooming. Ever try to groom a very dirty poodle?

Arjan Stalpers Report

Final score:
44points
Terilee Bruyere
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#10

30 Most Ridiculous Things You Say So You Don’t Swear, Shared By Our Community This one was completed by accident... Wanted to say 'son of a b**ch' but it came out 'bunny snitches'. Now my go-to!

Pablo Martinez Report

Final score:
43points
Karen Root
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#11

30 Most Ridiculous Things You Say So You Don’t Swear, Shared By Our Community I just try to run out of momentum before I get to the swear words, so something like, "Dirty rotten lousy miserable pathetic excuse for a..." until I eventually give up.

Егор Камелев Report

Final score:
41points
Random Okapi
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#12

30 Most Ridiculous Things You Say So You Don’t Swear, Shared By Our Community I hug my dog instead of swearing. Don't ask why, I don't know.

Eric Ward Report

Final score:
41points
summer
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Samia Guled
Samia Guled
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

aww! wish i can do that with my fish, but he a hungry boi and can bite, and tries to eat my hands. yet he de size of my thumb

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#13

30 Most Ridiculous Things You Say So You Don’t Swear, Shared By Our Community Pants, shoes, and 'oh for the love of cheese and crackers'.

Anita Peeples Report

Final score:
40points
Amberleigh Mysts
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#14

30 Most Ridiculous Things You Say So You Don’t Swear, Shared By Our Community Holy guacamole!

Tessa Rampersad Report

Final score:
39points
I like donuts
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I like donuts (Submission author)
I like donuts
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I Also say "you! You foul loathsome evil little cockroach!" when someone makes me mad To quote Hermione granger

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#15

30 Most Ridiculous Things You Say So You Don’t Swear, Shared By Our Community Shirt, like from The Good Place.

Nimble Made Report

Final score:
35points
Amber.exe
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#16

30 Most Ridiculous Things You Say So You Don’t Swear, Shared By Our Community What in Cthulhu's name and H-E-Single Asgardian Hockey Stick.

Markus Spiske Report

Final score:
34points
Me Oh My (He/They)
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#17

30 Most Ridiculous Things You Say So You Don’t Swear, Shared By Our Community Grasshole and fudge.

Siora Photography Report

Final score:
32points
DUN DUN
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#18

30 Most Ridiculous Things You Say So You Don’t Swear, Shared By Our Community Sweet Baby Pancakes is my "holy s**t." Also, "son of a motherless goat," which is from the Three Amigos.

Ray Aucott Report

Final score:
32points
dvelata
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#19

30 Most Ridiculous Things You Say So You Don’t Swear, Shared By Our Community You absolute- followed by any word you want. Examples are you absolute dishwasher, you absolute fridge, you absolute chicken-headed dog water. If you want actual swearwords substitutes I’m not that helpful since almost everyone just uses the actual word here.

Obi - @pixel7propix Report

Final score:
32points
Firefly1617
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#20

30 Most Ridiculous Things You Say So You Don’t Swear, Shared By Our Community Not really bizarre, but I say ‘What the Fred’ and ‘Holy Sharon’.

Priscilla Du Preez Report

Final score:
29points
LILYANDPEARL
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#21

30 Most Ridiculous Things You Say So You Don’t Swear, Shared By Our Community "Frickadoodle"

Samuel Regan-Asante Report

Final score:
28points
𝙽𝚘𝚝 𝚊 𝚘𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚜𝚞𝚖 !
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#22

30 Most Ridiculous Things You Say So You Don’t Swear, Shared By Our Community One time I stubbed my toe in school and went "FFFFFF" and then slowly went "...fructose." The teacher was skeptical. I also really like bull-spit and just any medieval or creative curse, such as beaver dam and God Daniel it.

Tamara Malaniy Report

Final score:
28points
thatdisasterpanda
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#23

30 Most Ridiculous Things You Say So You Don’t Swear, Shared By Our Community I growl deeply. I dunno why, but I do it all the time. They aren't quiet little growls either.
My poor throat. . .

Jeroen Bosch Report

Final score:
25points
KoffeeRune
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Sarcastic Cow
Sarcastic Cow
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I´m doing this since my childhood - since my parents banned swearing :D

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#24

Oh balderdash!

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Mistralok
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#25

30 Most Ridiculous Things You Say So You Don’t Swear, Shared By Our Community "Puppies and kittens!!!" and when that's not enough, "Puppies and kittens everywhere!".

Krista Mangulsone Report

Final score:
23points
Scarlett O'Hara's Ghost
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Sara Marie
Sara Marie
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I do this! Was always food but then stared watching A Nation an that's their word for zombies and it works well for just about any situation where cussing may be warranted lol. Confuses people too

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#26

30 Most Ridiculous Things You Say So You Don’t Swear, Shared By Our Community Holy crepe

Jason King Report

Final score:
22points
Freddy M. (He/Him)
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Freddy Martin (Submission author)
Freddy Martin
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Came from my neighbors a few years ago, was friends with their kid and they didn't like it when I said c**p around them, so it became carp and then eventually crepe

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#27

Well Spit
Fluff
Where didn't you learn how to drive
Go cuddle a cactus

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Susan Reid Smith
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KiwiBubbles
KiwiBubbles
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"WHERE *DIDN'T* YOU LEARN HOW TO DRIVE" OHMY LORD THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER

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#28

30 Most Ridiculous Things You Say So You Don’t Swear, Shared By Our Community Ahh, Fudgesicles, and Lollipops!

Not sure how my brain came up with it but it works.

Brecht Deboosere Report

Final score:
21points
The Mom
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#29

30 Most Ridiculous Things You Say So You Don’t Swear, Shared By Our Community MotherHell

Chris Barbalis Report

Final score:
15points
Moezzzz
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Note: this post originally had 149 images. It’s been shortened to the top 29 images based on user votes.

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