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What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear the word "satanism"? Is it the band Rammstein? A group of black-clothed youths gathering at the cemetery at the dawn of light? Or maybe it's a witch, throwing animals into a pot to make a possession potion?
The 1980s Satanic Panic saw Christian fundamentalists push the idea that evil cults were systematically abusing children in rituals and committing widespread murder, and successfully convince the general public through sensational news coverage.
While religion can be a beautiful thing, those Christian groups typically misrepresented the Church's beliefs and practices in order to fabricate a real-world villain behind the conspiracy for the media. And we can still see leftovers from this time.
They're especially evident in a recent Reddit post where the user Dreammare56 asked others, "What's the stupidest thing [you've] ever seen a religious person call 'satanic'?"
From Coca-Cola to a microscope, here are some of the most ridiculous answers.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
The same teacher who taught abstinence only sex-ED class took away my deck of Magic cards because they were satanic.
How am i supposed to keep my virginity without my Magic cards!?
RELATED:
#2
Rocks. I’m a rock hound, and collect rocks, gems, and stones. The link between crystals and spirituality has gotten me called a devil worshipper…for liking rocks. I don’t even use them spiritually, I just like shiny s**t.
Dreammare56 said the thought of making this post was quite a spontaneous one. "I was watching TV and the question came into my head when I saw something about the Satanic Panic," the Redditor told Bored Panda.
It was a time when preachers like Jerry Falwell and his Moral Majority, founded in 1979, gained prominence across the country, passing along a literal fire-and-brimstone style of Christianity.
Anti-occult crusaders like Pat Pulling, who believed her son's death by suicide was actually the result of a Dungeons and Dragons curse, campaigned against role-playing games as something dangerous and demonic, backed by occult fearmongering from Chick and his Chick Tracts.
#3
Being left handed...a church I visited wouldn't let me play music bc of it.
Jo Johannsen 2 years ago
"There are none so blind as those who will not see.” –attributed to John Heywood, 1546
#4
I was maybe 8 years old at most. Evangelical church my parents forced us to attend convinced my family that the following were satanic: Disney, dragons, music that wasn’t for God, Pokémon, Yu-Gi-Oh, all gaming consoles. Basically anything enjoyable for a kid.
My mom preceded to cut the tapes from our original cassette Disney collection. PlayStation was taken apart since the chip had the number “666” engraved in it. (It did not.) they tried driving over my gameboy with a truck and it didn’t break surprisingly. Then a lady from church flipped it open and she twisted it and bam there went my gameboy. Funny thing is the following week both her kids got gameboys.
To this day I’m still upset about that.
#5
Washing machine. Apparently if you watched the swirling motion for too long, you would get hypnotized and the devil could enter your head. So be warned.
Nothing made sense. But as Vox pointed out, even though the most damaging effects of Satanic Panic were felt within the legal system, there were broader ramifications, too — and many of them linger today.
Fans of Dungeons and Dragons and other allegedly "occult" games were demonized for years. Strange conspiracy theories flourished, including rumors of subliminal messages in rock music, a conspiracy about Procter & Gamble that won the company a $19.25 million settlement, the creepy clown hoax of 2016, and concern over one guy’s weird Airbnb decor.
"In my opinion, these people and their absurd claims do kinda bring down the reputation of religion as a whole, especially Christianity," Dreammare56 said.
#6
Back in the 90's my family had a home pc. We didn't have much so this computer was a big deal to my brothers and I. For school work and some good old fashioned DOS games. My dad managed to figure out how to get a screen saver with sound onto the computer, was quite proud of himself too. He failed to mention this screensaver to my mother who is VERY religious.
So one day I am sitting in highschool and get called to the principals office mid 2nd period. Now I am a darn near straight A student, who didn't get in trouble ever. So this isn't something that has ever happened to me. I get to the office, and I was told my mother called and was very very distraught and I needed to head home to be with her. I hear the secretary telling another office staff that she was losing her mind, and a few variations to that effect.
I rush home to find the pastor from church, performing an exorcism on our computer. My mother praying fervently through gasping sobs. The pastor and my mother prayed for sometime, before my dad came home. My dad gets home mad he was called home then he just starts laughing hysterically. Calls my mom a few variations of dumb, goes and wiggles the mouse to bring the computer up and plays the darth vader screen saver he added to the computer. "Give in to your anger. With each passing moment you make yourself more my servant" “I find your lack of faith disturbing.” "You underestimate the power of the Dark Side. If you will not fight, then you will meet your destiny." You know all the come to the darkside quotes. With a picture of darth vaders face. Of course my mother couldn't get the computer to do it again because she kept messing with it, and it never went back to sleep mode. So of course her first thought was we had a evil satanic computer possessed by the devil himself. The pastor just quietly snuck out with me during my dads laughing and my moms sobs.
#7
Tampons.
I'm not joking or lying. When I was a kid, early 90's, there was a "God Botherer" protesting outside a Superdrug (UK Pharmacy chain) screaming about the Satanism of feminine hygiene products corrupting women into sin. This God Botherer was a woman.
#8
So many things, but this one’s my favorite. Ready? Paleontologists. The idea is that the dinosaurs never actually existed and paleontologists just plant the fossils and bones to steer people away from “The Truth”. Clearly the work of the devil! Eek!
My eyes rolled so far back in my head they almost got stuck.
Angela Horak 2 years ago
Yes! My parents' church also taught that scientists sneak around in the dead of night planting fake bones in the ground to try to stop people from going to heaven.
#9
An injured bat. The person I knew smashed the poor thing to death because it was "satanic." F**king awful.
#10
My father was a Baptist pastor and had no issue with me playing D&D (3.5 at the time). When he married my step mother, she was a religious zealot and kept at my dad to stop me. One day I came home from school and they were both sitting in the living room and had all my D&D books in a plastic bag, SM having convinced my father they should trash them. I challenged them saying, how could they know they were bad. SM pulled out the players handbook and started reading the description of the cleric spell Chant. "If two clerics of the same religion are chanting, the bonuses are whatever (she didn't know the word cumulative)". I turned to my dad and said, how can you say these are bad if you don't even know what the words mean. He agreed and gave me my books back.
TL,DR: My step mother's limited vocabulary saved my D&D books
#11
Sporks.
I once heard someone say, "The spork is 'the devil's utensil' because it is the amalgamation of the masculine fork and the feminine spoon and is trying to blur gender lines in society."
#12
I knew this Christian lady that refused to eat deviled eggs.
Edit: my wife said her cousins weren't allowed to eat candy on Halloween when they were kids because their mom didn't want to celebrate the "devils birthday".
cybermerlin2000 2 years ago
That's rich coming from a religion that drinks the blood of Christ and eats the body of Christ
#13
That dog who got abandoned by his Christian owners bc he was ‘gay’.
(He was then adopted by a lesbian couple)
Bored Turtle Princess 2 years ago
How the hell do you know if your dog is gay? Were they the sexuality police or what?
#14
Dark brown eyes. There was this batshit lady at my old church who worked in the youth ministry. She accused my sister of devil worship saying that she had "shark eyes".
#15
"Godzilla" because god's name shouldn't be used like that. Told his kids there was a spelling error and it's actually called "Goodzilla".
#16
My grandma bought this cute bunny hat to wear. She loves hats because her head gets cold. This bunny ear hat was her favorite. She wore it to church and the pastor told her it was a demonic hat, grabbed it from her head, and threw it into the trash (so I'm told, i wasn't there).
She came home without her hat and was pissed. The church people came over to perform an EXORCISM because she was possessed by the devil.
I remember going upstairs hearing a group of church people sign hymns loudly while the pastor was forcing his hand on my grandma's head.
I was a kid when this happened and remembered feeling angry and confused. My mom told me to go downstairs. I wish those b***hes would come back and try that same shit. I'll personally throw them out the house.
#17
The Lord of the Rings works and The Chronicles of Narnia. Both Tolkien and Lewis were devout Christians.
#18
Frank Zappa's album "Jazz From Hell" was required to have an "Explicit lyrics" sticker.
It is instrumental.
Marco Hub-Dub 2 years ago
Thank you, Tipper (with full support from Al) Gore!!! This is specifically and solely why my uncles and dozens of their friends in Broward County, Florida voted for Nader. Yes, because of Tipper Gore & her PMRC, George W. Bush became president of the USA.
#19
Hard rock.
My idiot aunt thought that AC/DC stood for "Anti-Christ, Devil Child." F**kin' idiot.
She is also the most obviously in-the-closet person I've ever met in my life. I have a gaydar that barely functions, but she's super duper mega ultra gay. Perhaps she'd have had a happier life if she'd spent less time poring over "Balls to the Wall" like it was a Satanic verse and kissed a girl instead.
#20
Without a shred of sarcasm I once heard an evangelical describe hot cheetos as a product of the devil.
#21
I remember a lady saying she refused to eat mushrooms, they were satanic because they grew in the dark.
#22
Star Trek. Mostly, I think, because my racist uncle couldn't stomach a black woman and an asian dude being functional members of a spaceship crew.
#23
Unicorns. Their horns are the sign of satan. I wish I was making this up.
#24
Wifi. Because they didn't understand how it could work without wires.
#25
A microscope. An acquaintance of mine called a microscope a “gift from the devil” because it makes people question the divine plan.
jon gilbertson 2 years ago
ugh, crap like that burns me a*se. how many kids die because their parents chose prayer over ACTUAL medicine. sad
#26
A toothache. "The devil is trying to enter my body." Was the quote. Initially i thought they were making a weird joke. They were serious.
cybermerlin2000 2 years ago
Slap the person who says this and shout, "THE DEVIL IS MAKING YOU SPREAD HIS LIES TO CAUSE SUFFERING!" Sometimes you have to fight stupid with stupid
#27
My very religious aunt once referred to Hooters as “satan's snack shop”.
Her husband was a frequent visitor and she found the receipts in his truck lol
#28
Back in the 70s it was a lot of stupid: bar codes. The little symbol on Proctor & Gamble products. Yoga and/or meditation. Lots of different music by different artists. My small town Christian private school had a particular teacher who was absolutely dying mad about his students' fondness for Michael Jackson, AC/DC, and other bands of the time.
The funniest one of all was dancing. The joke around my (conservative Christian) college in the 80s was that sex was outlawed because it could lead to dancing... for some bizarre reason the administration thought dancing was totally evil.
#29
My mom called my art satanic because I drew dragons and wolves with horns when I was a kid.
#31
My mom was terrified I'd accidentally summon a demon playing yugioh.
rabbitsrabbit 2 years ago
Who cares about the devil? Does she realise how rich u will be if u manage to summon blue eyes white dragon into the world?
#32
I wanted to learn to play the violin as a child but was told I couldn’t because it was the devil’s instrument.
#33
“Masters of the Universe”. It was back in the 80’s. My crazy, over the top, religious aunt said ,” it’s satanic! There is only ONE master of the universe and it’s god!!!” 6 yo me rolled my eyes so hard, I’m sure you could hear the noise it made.
ChimeraBubbles 2 years ago (edited)
Wow! I haven't seen this film since I was 11yo when I re-watched it multiple times per day. I was going through some particularly awful medical crap and it got me through. Humans are weird. Maybe I'm now possessed by the devil.
#34
My mom called my pants satanic (there was a chain on them).
#35
My dad wouldn't let me watch anything that had magic or monsters because he thought it would let demons into the house. This included power rangers, Ben 10, H20 just add water, harry potter, scooby doo and more.
The most ridiculous one was not letting me watch Jessie on Disney channel. This had no magic or monsters but he thought that the pet lizard one of the characters had represented the snake that deceived Eve into eating the apple.
#36
F**king Hello Kitty. Some religious f**ktards from my sister-in-law's family, took away all the Hello Kitty toys from my niece and burnt them because... sigh... there is a demon in the sumerian mythology who, just like the famous cartoon cat, has no mouth, so Hello Kitty is obviously daemonic.
XSpooky_Mint 2 years ago
Hello Kitty doesn't have a mouth because they wanted her to have the same emotion as the person looking at her. Like, if you're sad, then she's sad, if you're happy, then she's happy
#37
Oh man.
A paperback copy of Frankenstein's monster with an illustration of the monster on the front.
The experience of feeling desire for black men.
Pokémon.
Yoga.
Source: grew up in a fundamentalist Christian community rampant with ignorance and bigotry of all kinds.
#38
i was once wearing my hat backwards and got called a devil worshipper.
cybermerlin2000 2 years ago
People like that are dealt with by saying things like, "You're wearing nylon and polyester. They are artificial creations and not natural. You are wearing the devil's clothing as god provides natural materials for clothing" Yes, I have done this and caused a bit of an argument between a bunch of religious nutters. It was fun
#39
My wife's mother pulled her out of the carebears movie when she was a kid because the bears were casting satanic spells out of their stomachs. My wife still holds a grudge.
#40
I saw a sign yesterday that called fat people who eat excessively, satanic.
The guy holding the sign was at least 100lbs heavier than I am, and I'm 230lbs. Also, the sign didn't make any sense to begin with...
cybermerlin2000 2 years ago
Are you sure that was religious intolerance and not an advertisement?
#41
Acting - the entire profession.
Backwards satanic messages in the "Mr. Ed" theme song.
Liberalism - everything liberal is satanic.
I've heard all three.
#43
I've heard someone say black people were demons because their skin is burnt from being in hell so long.
#44
For awhile I wasn't allowed to use the word "weird" because it was associated with witchcraft. Apparently because Shakespeare wrote about the witches of "weird".
#45
Being born in March. My father's mother told my mom she was birthing the anti christ because my sister was due in March. Just so happened to also fall around my aunt's wedding. Which is probably why. Aside from her hating my mother. Jokes on her. My parents have been married for almost 30 years and are very happy.
What do you think ?
Swan 2 years ago
everything they don't like don't want to exist don't know don't WANT to know...
Helmut Kok 2 years ago
And those that say it can't explain what commuism is
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Kira Okah 2 years ago
My friend was called demon possessed because of her medical necklace - she had a caduceus pendant with her medical info on it. Not because of her having allergies or any of her medical issues, but because it was a caduceus. Apparently, the caduceus is the symbol of Enki, and Enki is apparently the leviathan, so carrying his symbol means he's possessing her or something such like that. It was weird.
Elleana Sky Lopez 2 years ago
In the Christian Bible, the book of Job, God talks about his great work making the Leviathan. He was incredibly proud of that creature and it was just that, a sea beast.
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Suzi Q 2 years ago
I want you to know that most Christians aren't like that. There's some Uber extreme "Christians" (think "Footloose" whacks,) that thinks everything is satanic that doesn't "glorify God." You hear about them more because it's outrageous. Most Christians focus on leading by example, not fire and brimstone. There's a woman at my church who makes the best deviled eggs and they all love Harry Potter. It makes me mad that those zealots ruin it for normal people.
Kandi Heiple 2 years ago
Tell the other Christians, not us. Ive had nothing but bad experiences with Christians
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KimB 2 years ago
I couldn't read these without hearing Kathy Bates saying "that's the devil" : D (The Waterboy)
Gonzalo Terán 2 years ago
The problem is that in almost every post here, the outcome was like Kathy Bates, but in Misery...
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Leo Domitrix 2 years ago
Epilepsy. My own grandmothers. One insisted on calling a priest, another gave us stuff ot "ward away the devil". Really? .... *sigh*
Loki’s Lil Butter Knife 2 years ago (edited)
The more I read about these truly horrible, racist, homophobic, fanatical idiots, the more I'm rooting for Satan.
You cant stop the truth 2 years ago
Christians in the posts above: "Life must be boring! Don't do anything except praise god and cover your body with long flowing clothes! No dancing! No movies! No tattoos! No bacon! No toys which look like something at all!" .... Muslim extremists: "YES! WE AGREE"... Christians in the posts above... "No, not like that. You guys are also satanic."
Commander OwO 2 years ago
Existing is satanic because then you are allowing devils to *possibly* possess you. Not existing prevents this, so let's stop existing!
Wintermute 2 years ago
Fun story: My mom bought in to the 80s Satanic Panic in a big way. I started playing DnD in high school and she hated it. Wouldn't let me play at home so I had to sneak off and lie about it like the cooler teenagers did about sex and drinking - which I very much did not do, though I get no credit for that, but I digress. Once I turned 18 she relented a bit and I had my crew come over for a session. It was summer so we were on the back patio when it started getting dark. There were mosquitos, so we lit citronella candles. No biggie. Next thing I see is my mom standing at the back window fuming like she'd caught us all railing cocaine off a crucifix. I couldn't figure out why, but then it hit me. The candles were surrounding us, there were five of them, they looked like a pentagram and all her worst fears were coming true like we were summoning Satan or something. Poor woman was apoplectic.
Rahmad Mulya 2 years ago
I'm muslim and we had this kind of problems too, those ultra conservative fanatics .....
T'Mar of Vulcan 2 years ago
This even got to Mzansi (South Africa) where the "happy clappies" (slang for the evangelical types who sing a lot and clap) picked up on all that nonsense from overseas. You couldn't have Smurfs because they used magic, and the blue meant they were dead. The Sara Moon paintings from the early '80s (I'll attach one) were painted by a devil-worshipper and their eyes followed you if you put one up in your room. My aunt 100% legit told me a story of how a child with these paintings couldn't sleep because "there were lights from the painting's eyes on the child's face". My uncle said I couldn't watch sci-fi because it showed the future and only God can know the future. (I responded by ignoring them and never attending their church ever again - they were frakking loopy.) bridgette_...c088aa.jpg 
Chich 2 years ago
"happy clappies" I shall have to remember that. I was in Uganda/Kenya and was suprised at how many evangelical types there were.
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Elleana Sky Lopez 2 years ago
When I was a kid I had dark nail polish on and my dad took me to church where a few people pointed out that my nail polish was of the devil and if I keep wearing nail polish I was allowing myself to be possessed by him.
Zedrapazia 2 years ago
I remember some crazy woman saying Asian people were satanic because of their "gibberish devil language" and their "small eyes" that were "squinting because they were looking mean at other people" all day. I guess she was just racist against my Chinese buddy though.
John Baker 2 years ago
Most Christians, fortunately, aren't idiots, but hard-core Bible thumpers like the ones in this post are invariably dumber than a sack of anvils.
Ellie Vanille 2 years ago (edited)
This reminds me of Seth Andrew's conference "The satanic panic". :) I didn't grow up in the US, but somehow a lot of things from american evangelists were repeated and followed here in Europe. My parents being very religious believed it all (and still do). We were not allowed to cut our hair, to put on make-up, or to wear modern clothing. And I'm not even going to speak about tattoos or piercings. My parents would have had a heart attack. We were not even authorized earrings. Of course we wouldn't go to the theater, own a tv, watch movies, listen to non-religious music, and so on. If my parents had ever known I was reading the Harry Potter series they would have freaked out. Pokemon was of course bad. So were video games (yes even Mario), playing cards, karate, yoga, meditation, etc. We never celebrated Halloween or carnival... Ah yes and the symbols. The peace symbol is supposedly an upside down cross which sides have been bent. Aaand of course the svastika (obviously a broken cross)...
Stephanie LeFae 2 years ago
My Mom said I was satanic when I was a kid because I could read words that appeared backwards. I think is was something printed on the other side of a glass door or the back side of a piece of paper held up to the light. I was pretty young so I don't remember exactly. I remember thinking how stupid she was for it though.
Toujin C'Thlu 2 years ago
Banning all this innocent stuff sounds very much like something a cult would do to cut off its followers from the outside world, not a mainstream church.
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
Yeah, it definitely wasn't in any of the churches of different denominations I attended. I know of only one Christian family who believed this and their church was not a mainstream one.
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Bernd Herbert 2 years ago
Damn, (some) Christians are stupid beyond believe. Luckily in Germany Christianity doesn’t play any role in our everyday lives so I never ever heard something like that
ShareMusic 2 years ago
Just goes to show that there have always been crazy, really dumb, or gullible people. Unfortunately the "crazies" have turned a lot of people off of organized religion. I'm deeply religious, belong to a great church and can say unequivocally that not all of us speak or act this way!
Carol Emory 2 years ago
All of this stupidity. Now I firmly believe there are parts of the Bible that should be followed to a T (Ten Commandments comes to mind) but some of it I believe is made up horse manure. The anti-LGBT messages. What you can wear, eat...ideas of divorce...anything that contradicts the basic message of Love one another and be good to each other. If you are restricting how people live their life based on what you unfoundedly call a sin...then you are being judgmental...and I thought God was the only one allowed to pass judgment?
KimB 2 years ago
I always took the 10 commandments as a guide on how to not be an a**hole by killing and stealing, ect...
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Anjelika 2 years ago
What about anything containing apples since the whole satan tempted Eve with an apple ?🤔 Harry Potter was banned in a few states at school right? I can imagine the reactions of charmed or bewitched
Seabeast 2 years ago
The bible doesn't actually say what the forbidden fruit was. European artists drew it as an apple, but apples didn't exist in the middle east at the time the story was first told. A pomegranite might have been closer to what they had in mind.
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Selina Ali 2 years ago
No mention of Harry Potter? That’s the first thing religious nutjobs like to attack imo
Rachel Spidalette 2 years ago
You wouldn't believe how much they considered it a "banned book".
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leah 2 years ago (edited)
I just...my parents are fairly conservative christians and we were raised to follow the 10 commandments and things along those lines, but this is crazy. I was taught to question everything religious growing up and was told at the age of 6 or 7 (nearly 40 years ago now) that Christmas and Easter were actually pagan holidays that christians steamrolled over. For our sect of christianity our church itself is very liberal. We even had a **gasp** democrat preacher for over 20 years while I was growing up.
Bi-Polar Express 2 years ago
I used a Magic 8 ball in class sometimes when we were making decisions. Another teacher told on me for using black magic in class.
Shay Tracy 2 years ago
I remember being at some teen sleepaway church weekend thing and the pastor was explaining to us about how satan hides in pop music, and we could check it because when you play "I Just Called To Say I Love You" backward...you'll hear a voice saying "Satan Is Lord"
Lucas Cain 2 years ago
I got my wedding ring tattooed on my finger and when my mum saw it she told me that it will let the devil in. "All tattoos let the devil in but finger tattoos are the worst". Where did she even hear that from! Is there a guide for worst tattoo placement!!!
JayWantsACat 2 years ago
Its funny how so many Christians' faith can be so tenuous and easily tested. You can't be around bad words...because your faith is so weak that hearing F**K would being you over to the darkside? lolok
Jill Bussey 2 years ago
All of these posts just make me ask why. What is their reasoning? Is it possible to change their minds?
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
I would say it is unlikely they will change their mind. Not impossible, but in my experience, people that are indoctrinated into these type of churches go by what their leader says and that's it. Even if it doesn't match with what the bible says (hint- none of these are supported by the bible, except maybe the tattoo one, but that is because of the practices of the time, not because God has a problem with tattoos). More importantly, most Christians do NOT believe these things, at least not in my country. It is usually very extreme exclusive churches that do.
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Angie Chan 2 years ago
Snakes were one in my household growing up for obvious reasons. However, I really like them with their dry, cool, sometimes shiny scales and little flicking tongues. As a result, I have saved several that got themselves into bad positions where everyone else would freak out because "danger noodle."
Na Schi 2 years ago
Shockingly sad, how low the faith in their "God" is for a lot of people. If I wouldn't know better I would say they are scared to shīt, illiterate and insecure. But i tend to think that a lot of them simply enjoy to be petty and righteous. Otherwise they would stand up and bring meaning into and made sense of the fictional tale they so strongly believe in. Turning the world into a better place instead making other lifes miserable.
TrD 2 years ago
Completely true but that’s no reason to call an entire religion a “fictional tale”, just the made up rules. Ur entitled to ur opinion ig.
Load More Replies... Rachel Spidalette 2 years ago
Want to know something more absurd? Apparently, when I was newly diagnosed as autistic as a child, the Latter-Fay church at my old hometown wouldn't take me in for daycare, because they "didn't know how to deal with a child like that". Can you believe the ableism???
Red 2 years ago
So, my neighbor is one an egoistical holier than thou type. Me, a goth, was of course, satanic and all sorts of evil. She had a dog, good pup but awfully mistreated, neglected and super reactive. For all that he had some aggression problems. She usually said he only barked and disliked satanic or demonic people. Guess who her dog loved? Yours truly. I was the only person he allowed into their apartment when the humans weren't home and because she knew I love dogs, she took advantage of it whenever she and her daughter went out of town or were going to be out for long periods. He was a nice and sweet dog really, very intelligent, deserved a better life.
Uber Mensch 2 years ago
For anyone that wants a good laugh about religions, try reading the book "Job" by Robert Heinlein. Satire at its finest.
LH25 2 years ago
I think Satan is pleased by all this. People focusing on stupid things like listed above and not the true evils in the world.
KimB 2 years ago
"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing man he doesn't exist"
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Liu Woods 2 years ago
A bit of a tangent, but I kind of wish people didn’t say religion when they meant Christianity. Not many religions out there yelling about everything being satanic, it’s just one of the biggest and loudest ones.
Seabeast 2 years ago
Some of the extreme orthodox Jewish and Muslim sects are also pretty bad for this.
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Pete Nosal 8 months ago
Laugh, but people who believe this inanity are voting their faith into law.
Nicole Normand 2 years ago
My first husband wouldn't French kiss me because that came from the devil. Good thing too; who wants to kiss him anyways? Another one he had was a rocking chair giving you ideas from the devil or something like that. So I rocked at his mother's house.
LynzCatastrophe 2 years ago
Me. I married a man raised Jehovas Witness and while my hubby isn't religious (more scientific and logical, almost like Spock with a few emotions thrown in), his father is. I have a decent relationship with my in-laws to a point. I'm the temptress who led the whole family astray, none of his siblings are religious and I'm the one who is blamed since my hubby was the first one who got married so I must have influenced his brother and sisters as well by *gasp* Halloween and Christmas. Just for fun, my bookcase has an entire shelf of books and such dedicated to Paganism. My father-in-law is hard-core JW, just try to avoid religious talk.... which is hard because he manages to turn every conversation into religion and God.
Louie Cooper 2 years ago
I have so many of these from growing up in churches. The colour purple (for some reason), being interested in true crime/crime drama shows, the name Margaret, anything even remotely related to fantasy, ripped jeans, tampons (because they take away your virginity), women wearing shorts, women with short hair, women not liking cooking, women being interested in trades, tattoos and piercings, alcohol, any job where you may have to work on a Sunday...
Gogubaci 2 years ago
religion is dumb. period. hasn't brought any sort of benefit to humanity, it only caused misery along the centuries and we'd be exploring other galaxies by now with human crews if it weren't for religion. should just dissapear. every single one of them.
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
You do realise most religious people understand and believe in science right? Religion has not impacted us being able to explore space. Some fanaticals may be against it but most people aren't.
Load More Replies... whodunnitfan2013 2 years ago
My mom thought Five Nights At Freddy's was evil. The creator is a devout Christian.
marianne eliza 2 years ago (edited)
Have to wonder how many generations this level of stupidity goes back. (Dis)Organized religions have been the cause of, or at least the excuse for, most of humankind's troubles since prehistory.
Frying Pan 2 years ago
I think if any of the people calling these things satanic listened to my playlist, they would perform an exorcism on my computer
Manu 2 years ago (edited)
So, I was expelled from my high-school because I found it boring and behaved very bad... yeah. But I was very good at math, history, English (as second language), so despite my bad behavior, I had good grades. I did something like writing a menacing letter to the principal during computing class, that gave them a reason to expell me from school. During my, let's call it "excommunication trial" I was accused of having a deal with the devil, which would explain my good grades and my taste for rock music. Truth is, I would spend hours on the library learning by myself because regular clases and teachers were frankly lame as heck. So yeah, being self taught, curious and prone to get bored is a clear signal of demonic possession. During a gathering with friends from that school years after that , I learned that a couple of years later some girl I had no idea about, was expelled from the same school for similar reasons, and they claimed she belonged to my satanic sect (I had none)
kath morgan 2 years ago
Our local church had reservations about letting a karate class rent the hall.
Annette Easton 2 years ago
I gave someone a ride home once, I turned the car on and Ozzy Osborne happened to be on the radio so I was immediately questioned about whether I was a satanist or not. Because of something on the radio. The same person was at my house once and saw some hanging candle lanterns I have that are star shaped and was then convinced that I must be a witch.
Rodney Bowie 2 years ago
I have this thing where I can make my eyeballs vibrate slightly. As I got older, I learned it's not that rare, but in high school I got called a devil worshipper cuz I could do that.
Michelle Vaughan 2 years ago
Also, any numbers associate with a person (Social Security ,then credit cards) back in the 80s/early 90s. Pretty sure this was part of some sort of 700 club/Focus on the Family message (parents tried to refuse to use both until it became inconvenient). Of course, they had no issue with writing checks, which had account numbers as well.
Dre Mosley 2 years ago
My mom made me stop watching He-Man as a kid because of the character, Evil-Lyn, since she was a witch and witchcraft is bad.
Helmut Kok 2 years ago
I would add Atheism. Because obvious not believing in a God that created an agee that later rebelled against the god I don't think exist. Is the same as I believe in something that god created!
Q B F T 2 years ago
Christians are such weirdos.... Especially in the US. A Brit friend told me: "Yanks are so mental about Christianity because the country is founded on religious extremists. All the people who were too nuts for England - the puritans - settled the US." How's much truth is there to that? They also said Australians were (stereotypically) so obnoxious because they were convicts. "Australia and America, the UK's prison and asylum, respectively."
You cant stop the truth 2 years ago
Seems legit. Even here africa where we have HUGE numbers of christians, they are not this batshit.
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You cant stop the truth 2 years ago
It's from hinduism. See commandment #1.
Load More Replies... Swan 2 years ago
everything they don't like don't want to exist don't know don't WANT to know...
Helmut Kok 2 years ago
And those that say it can't explain what commuism is
Load More Replies... Kira Okah 2 years ago
My friend was called demon possessed because of her medical necklace - she had a caduceus pendant with her medical info on it. Not because of her having allergies or any of her medical issues, but because it was a caduceus. Apparently, the caduceus is the symbol of Enki, and Enki is apparently the leviathan, so carrying his symbol means he's possessing her or something such like that. It was weird.
Elleana Sky Lopez 2 years ago
In the Christian Bible, the book of Job, God talks about his great work making the Leviathan. He was incredibly proud of that creature and it was just that, a sea beast.
Load More Replies... Suzi Q 2 years ago
I want you to know that most Christians aren't like that. There's some Uber extreme "Christians" (think "Footloose" whacks,) that thinks everything is satanic that doesn't "glorify God." You hear about them more because it's outrageous. Most Christians focus on leading by example, not fire and brimstone. There's a woman at my church who makes the best deviled eggs and they all love Harry Potter. It makes me mad that those zealots ruin it for normal people.
Kandi Heiple 2 years ago
Tell the other Christians, not us. Ive had nothing but bad experiences with Christians
Load More Replies... KimB 2 years ago
I couldn't read these without hearing Kathy Bates saying "that's the devil" : D (The Waterboy)
Gonzalo Terán 2 years ago
The problem is that in almost every post here, the outcome was like Kathy Bates, but in Misery...
Load More Replies... Leo Domitrix 2 years ago
Epilepsy. My own grandmothers. One insisted on calling a priest, another gave us stuff ot "ward away the devil". Really? .... *sigh*
Loki’s Lil Butter Knife 2 years ago (edited)
The more I read about these truly horrible, racist, homophobic, fanatical idiots, the more I'm rooting for Satan.
You cant stop the truth 2 years ago
Christians in the posts above: "Life must be boring! Don't do anything except praise god and cover your body with long flowing clothes! No dancing! No movies! No tattoos! No bacon! No toys which look like something at all!" .... Muslim extremists: "YES! WE AGREE"... Christians in the posts above... "No, not like that. You guys are also satanic."
Commander OwO 2 years ago
Existing is satanic because then you are allowing devils to *possibly* possess you. Not existing prevents this, so let's stop existing!
Wintermute 2 years ago
Fun story: My mom bought in to the 80s Satanic Panic in a big way. I started playing DnD in high school and she hated it. Wouldn't let me play at home so I had to sneak off and lie about it like the cooler teenagers did about sex and drinking - which I very much did not do, though I get no credit for that, but I digress. Once I turned 18 she relented a bit and I had my crew come over for a session. It was summer so we were on the back patio when it started getting dark. There were mosquitos, so we lit citronella candles. No biggie. Next thing I see is my mom standing at the back window fuming like she'd caught us all railing cocaine off a crucifix. I couldn't figure out why, but then it hit me. The candles were surrounding us, there were five of them, they looked like a pentagram and all her worst fears were coming true like we were summoning Satan or something. Poor woman was apoplectic.
Rahmad Mulya 2 years ago
I'm muslim and we had this kind of problems too, those ultra conservative fanatics .....
T'Mar of Vulcan 2 years ago
This even got to Mzansi (South Africa) where the "happy clappies" (slang for the evangelical types who sing a lot and clap) picked up on all that nonsense from overseas. You couldn't have Smurfs because they used magic, and the blue meant they were dead. The Sara Moon paintings from the early '80s (I'll attach one) were painted by a devil-worshipper and their eyes followed you if you put one up in your room. My aunt 100% legit told me a story of how a child with these paintings couldn't sleep because "there were lights from the painting's eyes on the child's face". My uncle said I couldn't watch sci-fi because it showed the future and only God can know the future. (I responded by ignoring them and never attending their church ever again - they were frakking loopy.) bridgette_...c088aa.jpg
Chich 2 years ago
"happy clappies" I shall have to remember that. I was in Uganda/Kenya and was suprised at how many evangelical types there were.
Load More Replies... Elleana Sky Lopez 2 years ago
When I was a kid I had dark nail polish on and my dad took me to church where a few people pointed out that my nail polish was of the devil and if I keep wearing nail polish I was allowing myself to be possessed by him.
Zedrapazia 2 years ago
I remember some crazy woman saying Asian people were satanic because of their "gibberish devil language" and their "small eyes" that were "squinting because they were looking mean at other people" all day. I guess she was just racist against my Chinese buddy though.
John Baker 2 years ago
Most Christians, fortunately, aren't idiots, but hard-core Bible thumpers like the ones in this post are invariably dumber than a sack of anvils.
Ellie Vanille 2 years ago (edited)
This reminds me of Seth Andrew's conference "The satanic panic". :) I didn't grow up in the US, but somehow a lot of things from american evangelists were repeated and followed here in Europe. My parents being very religious believed it all (and still do). We were not allowed to cut our hair, to put on make-up, or to wear modern clothing. And I'm not even going to speak about tattoos or piercings. My parents would have had a heart attack. We were not even authorized earrings. Of course we wouldn't go to the theater, own a tv, watch movies, listen to non-religious music, and so on. If my parents had ever known I was reading the Harry Potter series they would have freaked out. Pokemon was of course bad. So were video games (yes even Mario), playing cards, karate, yoga, meditation, etc. We never celebrated Halloween or carnival... Ah yes and the symbols. The peace symbol is supposedly an upside down cross which sides have been bent. Aaand of course the svastika (obviously a broken cross)...
Stephanie LeFae 2 years ago
My Mom said I was satanic when I was a kid because I could read words that appeared backwards. I think is was something printed on the other side of a glass door or the back side of a piece of paper held up to the light. I was pretty young so I don't remember exactly. I remember thinking how stupid she was for it though.
Toujin C'Thlu 2 years ago
Banning all this innocent stuff sounds very much like something a cult would do to cut off its followers from the outside world, not a mainstream church.
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
Yeah, it definitely wasn't in any of the churches of different denominations I attended. I know of only one Christian family who believed this and their church was not a mainstream one.
Load More Replies... Bernd Herbert 2 years ago
Damn, (some) Christians are stupid beyond believe. Luckily in Germany Christianity doesn’t play any role in our everyday lives so I never ever heard something like that
ShareMusic 2 years ago
Just goes to show that there have always been crazy, really dumb, or gullible people. Unfortunately the "crazies" have turned a lot of people off of organized religion. I'm deeply religious, belong to a great church and can say unequivocally that not all of us speak or act this way!
Carol Emory 2 years ago
All of this stupidity. Now I firmly believe there are parts of the Bible that should be followed to a T (Ten Commandments comes to mind) but some of it I believe is made up horse manure. The anti-LGBT messages. What you can wear, eat...ideas of divorce...anything that contradicts the basic message of Love one another and be good to each other. If you are restricting how people live their life based on what you unfoundedly call a sin...then you are being judgmental...and I thought God was the only one allowed to pass judgment?
KimB 2 years ago
I always took the 10 commandments as a guide on how to not be an a**hole by killing and stealing, ect...
Load More Replies... Anjelika 2 years ago
What about anything containing apples since the whole satan tempted Eve with an apple ?🤔 Harry Potter was banned in a few states at school right? I can imagine the reactions of charmed or bewitched
Seabeast 2 years ago
The bible doesn't actually say what the forbidden fruit was. European artists drew it as an apple, but apples didn't exist in the middle east at the time the story was first told. A pomegranite might have been closer to what they had in mind.
Load More Replies... Selina Ali 2 years ago
No mention of Harry Potter? That’s the first thing religious nutjobs like to attack imo
Rachel Spidalette 2 years ago
You wouldn't believe how much they considered it a "banned book".
Load More Replies... leah 2 years ago (edited)
I just...my parents are fairly conservative christians and we were raised to follow the 10 commandments and things along those lines, but this is crazy. I was taught to question everything religious growing up and was told at the age of 6 or 7 (nearly 40 years ago now) that Christmas and Easter were actually pagan holidays that christians steamrolled over. For our sect of christianity our church itself is very liberal. We even had a **gasp** democrat preacher for over 20 years while I was growing up.
Bi-Polar Express 2 years ago
I used a Magic 8 ball in class sometimes when we were making decisions. Another teacher told on me for using black magic in class.
Shay Tracy 2 years ago
I remember being at some teen sleepaway church weekend thing and the pastor was explaining to us about how satan hides in pop music, and we could check it because when you play "I Just Called To Say I Love You" backward...you'll hear a voice saying "Satan Is Lord"
Lucas Cain 2 years ago
I got my wedding ring tattooed on my finger and when my mum saw it she told me that it will let the devil in. "All tattoos let the devil in but finger tattoos are the worst". Where did she even hear that from! Is there a guide for worst tattoo placement!!!
JayWantsACat 2 years ago
Its funny how so many Christians' faith can be so tenuous and easily tested. You can't be around bad words...because your faith is so weak that hearing F**K would being you over to the darkside? lolok
Jill Bussey 2 years ago
All of these posts just make me ask why. What is their reasoning? Is it possible to change their minds?
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
I would say it is unlikely they will change their mind. Not impossible, but in my experience, people that are indoctrinated into these type of churches go by what their leader says and that's it. Even if it doesn't match with what the bible says (hint- none of these are supported by the bible, except maybe the tattoo one, but that is because of the practices of the time, not because God has a problem with tattoos). More importantly, most Christians do NOT believe these things, at least not in my country. It is usually very extreme exclusive churches that do.
Load More Replies... Angie Chan 2 years ago
Snakes were one in my household growing up for obvious reasons. However, I really like them with their dry, cool, sometimes shiny scales and little flicking tongues. As a result, I have saved several that got themselves into bad positions where everyone else would freak out because "danger noodle."
Na Schi 2 years ago
Shockingly sad, how low the faith in their "God" is for a lot of people. If I wouldn't know better I would say they are scared to shīt, illiterate and insecure. But i tend to think that a lot of them simply enjoy to be petty and righteous. Otherwise they would stand up and bring meaning into and made sense of the fictional tale they so strongly believe in. Turning the world into a better place instead making other lifes miserable.
TrD 2 years ago
Completely true but that’s no reason to call an entire religion a “fictional tale”, just the made up rules. Ur entitled to ur opinion ig.
Load More Replies... Rachel Spidalette 2 years ago
Want to know something more absurd? Apparently, when I was newly diagnosed as autistic as a child, the Latter-Fay church at my old hometown wouldn't take me in for daycare, because they "didn't know how to deal with a child like that". Can you believe the ableism???
Red 2 years ago
So, my neighbor is one an egoistical holier than thou type. Me, a goth, was of course, satanic and all sorts of evil. She had a dog, good pup but awfully mistreated, neglected and super reactive. For all that he had some aggression problems. She usually said he only barked and disliked satanic or demonic people. Guess who her dog loved? Yours truly. I was the only person he allowed into their apartment when the humans weren't home and because she knew I love dogs, she took advantage of it whenever she and her daughter went out of town or were going to be out for long periods. He was a nice and sweet dog really, very intelligent, deserved a better life.
Uber Mensch 2 years ago
For anyone that wants a good laugh about religions, try reading the book "Job" by Robert Heinlein. Satire at its finest.
LH25 2 years ago
I think Satan is pleased by all this. People focusing on stupid things like listed above and not the true evils in the world.
KimB 2 years ago
"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing man he doesn't exist"
Load More Replies... Liu Woods 2 years ago
A bit of a tangent, but I kind of wish people didn’t say religion when they meant Christianity. Not many religions out there yelling about everything being satanic, it’s just one of the biggest and loudest ones.
Seabeast 2 years ago
Some of the extreme orthodox Jewish and Muslim sects are also pretty bad for this.
Load More Replies... Pete Nosal 8 months ago
Laugh, but people who believe this inanity are voting their faith into law.
Nicole Normand 2 years ago
My first husband wouldn't French kiss me because that came from the devil. Good thing too; who wants to kiss him anyways? Another one he had was a rocking chair giving you ideas from the devil or something like that. So I rocked at his mother's house.
LynzCatastrophe 2 years ago
Me. I married a man raised Jehovas Witness and while my hubby isn't religious (more scientific and logical, almost like Spock with a few emotions thrown in), his father is. I have a decent relationship with my in-laws to a point. I'm the temptress who led the whole family astray, none of his siblings are religious and I'm the one who is blamed since my hubby was the first one who got married so I must have influenced his brother and sisters as well by *gasp* Halloween and Christmas. Just for fun, my bookcase has an entire shelf of books and such dedicated to Paganism. My father-in-law is hard-core JW, just try to avoid religious talk.... which is hard because he manages to turn every conversation into religion and God.
Louie Cooper 2 years ago
I have so many of these from growing up in churches. The colour purple (for some reason), being interested in true crime/crime drama shows, the name Margaret, anything even remotely related to fantasy, ripped jeans, tampons (because they take away your virginity), women wearing shorts, women with short hair, women not liking cooking, women being interested in trades, tattoos and piercings, alcohol, any job where you may have to work on a Sunday...
Gogubaci 2 years ago
religion is dumb. period. hasn't brought any sort of benefit to humanity, it only caused misery along the centuries and we'd be exploring other galaxies by now with human crews if it weren't for religion. should just dissapear. every single one of them.
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
You do realise most religious people understand and believe in science right? Religion has not impacted us being able to explore space. Some fanaticals may be against it but most people aren't.
Load More Replies... whodunnitfan2013 2 years ago
My mom thought Five Nights At Freddy's was evil. The creator is a devout Christian.
marianne eliza 2 years ago (edited)
Have to wonder how many generations this level of stupidity goes back. (Dis)Organized religions have been the cause of, or at least the excuse for, most of humankind's troubles since prehistory.
Frying Pan 2 years ago
I think if any of the people calling these things satanic listened to my playlist, they would perform an exorcism on my computer
Manu 2 years ago (edited)
So, I was expelled from my high-school because I found it boring and behaved very bad... yeah. But I was very good at math, history, English (as second language), so despite my bad behavior, I had good grades. I did something like writing a menacing letter to the principal during computing class, that gave them a reason to expell me from school. During my, let's call it "excommunication trial" I was accused of having a deal with the devil, which would explain my good grades and my taste for rock music. Truth is, I would spend hours on the library learning by myself because regular clases and teachers were frankly lame as heck. So yeah, being self taught, curious and prone to get bored is a clear signal of demonic possession. During a gathering with friends from that school years after that , I learned that a couple of years later some girl I had no idea about, was expelled from the same school for similar reasons, and they claimed she belonged to my satanic sect (I had none)
kath morgan 2 years ago
Our local church had reservations about letting a karate class rent the hall.
Annette Easton 2 years ago
I gave someone a ride home once, I turned the car on and Ozzy Osborne happened to be on the radio so I was immediately questioned about whether I was a satanist or not. Because of something on the radio. The same person was at my house once and saw some hanging candle lanterns I have that are star shaped and was then convinced that I must be a witch.
Rodney Bowie 2 years ago
I have this thing where I can make my eyeballs vibrate slightly. As I got older, I learned it's not that rare, but in high school I got called a devil worshipper cuz I could do that.
Michelle Vaughan 2 years ago
Also, any numbers associate with a person (Social Security ,then credit cards) back in the 80s/early 90s. Pretty sure this was part of some sort of 700 club/Focus on the Family message (parents tried to refuse to use both until it became inconvenient). Of course, they had no issue with writing checks, which had account numbers as well.
Dre Mosley 2 years ago
My mom made me stop watching He-Man as a kid because of the character, Evil-Lyn, since she was a witch and witchcraft is bad.
Helmut Kok 2 years ago
I would add Atheism. Because obvious not believing in a God that created an agee that later rebelled against the god I don't think exist. Is the same as I believe in something that god created!
Q B F T 2 years ago
Christians are such weirdos.... Especially in the US. A Brit friend told me: "Yanks are so mental about Christianity because the country is founded on religious extremists. All the people who were too nuts for England - the puritans - settled the US." How's much truth is there to that? They also said Australians were (stereotypically) so obnoxious because they were convicts. "Australia and America, the UK's prison and asylum, respectively."
You cant stop the truth 2 years ago
Seems legit. Even here africa where we have HUGE numbers of christians, they are not this batshit.
Load More Replies... You cant stop the truth 2 years ago
It's from hinduism. See commandment #1.
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