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30 Hilariously Unfortunate Names Parents Actually Gave Their Children, As Shared In This Thread
Seven, Sunday Molly, Tu Morrow. What do these random words all have in common? Well, they’re inscribed into some baby’s passport and will follow them for the rest of their lives. Unless they decide their parents were a little bonkers and it’s better to change that name for good.
Celebrities are notorious for giving their babies weird names, like Kylie Jenner’s daughter Stormi and Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise’s daughter Suri. And they’re not alone. It seems like the weird name trend is not going anywhere, but you wonder when parents cross their line with their ingenuity.
“What horrible, ridiculous names have you heard parents choose to call their children?” asked someone on Ask Reddit, and the thread amassed 12.7k responses. Below we selected some of the weirdest ones that will make you like if not love your simple, not special, quite boring name.
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#1
I know a girl named Random. While at an Easter egg hunt years ago (eggs were labeled for each kid), I took the eggs labeled Random thinking they were up for grabs. Random’s parents were unamused to say the least.
RELATED:
#2
Nevaeh. It's heaven backwards. Anyone that tells you their daughter is named Nevaeh will also tell you that it's heaven spelled backwards. Every time.
#3
My neighbor was the 12th kid. His parents named him Twelver. That’s gotta be the worst I’ve ever seen.
Bored Panda spoke with Lynn How, the author of “Positive Young Mind,” an experienced educator and life coach who specializes in supporting educators, parents, and children with improving and preventing of mental health issues. Lynn also runs this Facebook teacher coaching group that offers support in either leaving, changing their mindset, changing their schools or setting healthy work/life boundaries.
Having been an educator for 20 years in 6 schools and in various roles, Lynn has seen a huge amount of various children’s names. “I'm from the UK so our most popular names differ slightly from those across the pond! There are certainly fads when it comes to popular names. A decade ago, for example, I taught 5 Matthews at the same time! Not so many about now in primary school,” Lynn said.
#4
An ex had friends who named their kids Haight and Rayge (hate and rage). Good luck kids.
Aussie panda 2 years ago
Don’t know why you’d name your kid after such negative emotions. Name them something positive!
#5
I went to high school with a guy named John John John. Yes, his first name, middle name and last name were all “John”.
Update:
This was not in Texas, BC or Ohio, so there are at least several parents who inflicted the same name on their kids.
He was a nice enough guy and owned it. He did sometimes sign his name John3.
#6
I work at a college and often go through the new applications to process them, I've seen all kinds.
Most ridiculous name I've seen thus far though:
Starscream Anakin as his first and middle names. He has a normal last name. When I first saw it, I was certain that it was a kid f**king with our application system. Then I met him in person, and he showed me his ID.
His name is legally Starscream Anakin. I get the Anakin part, but of all the Transformers to name your kid after, why on Earth make it Starscream? He was just awful.
“Different cultures have their own most popular list but I would say that in the UK, some traditional names are still very popular, such as Joshua and Jacob.” Moreover, Lynn argues that “for girls, many names that were reserved for the older generation are coming back into fashion, such as Molly and Elsa.”The professional educator added that she has worked in a number of schools and the type of name is very dependent on the demographic of the students.
#7
Heard a lady yell at her kid. “Graceland Tennessee stop running around!”
#9
A family friend named his son "Sir" and it's pretty cringe. Honorable mention goes to the former coworker who named his daughter Khaleesi.
Edit : also knew a stripper whose real name was Curiosity. Her parents doomed her.
Stephanie Did It 2 years ago
Would Bored Panda moderators please block the person (spamming) advertising her job in almost every one of these posts?
According to Lynn, names are coupled with identity so it is an important choice and very personal to individuals. “I remember being worried about people liking our chosen names for our children and not revealing them in case others we knew used them first! As a teacher, naming children is harder as there are so many students that you associate with certain names.”
#10
My favorite I saw while working as a banker was...
Subway Club Allah Is Supreme Middle Name (last name)
His parents named him this and he wanted a loan to open a weed store in a state where it is illegal.
To clarify his middle name is Middle Name, i forgot the last name, but it was just a normal last name
#11
My dad wanted to name my little brother My Kid, with his middle name as Rules.
So his full name would be my My Kid Rules [Our last name].
My mom stopped him though lol
“When naming my children, I considered whether it would look ok on a CV when they are older and whether it sounds ok screamed across a crowded playground,” Lynn recounted. “If you are undecided, use the scream test for your chosen name. For example, shout '*chosen name*, get back here now' at the top of your voice, and see how it sounds.”
#13
Wednesday Passion. That was a little girl i use to babysit.
#14
Well... let's just say that the state I live in doesn't have a significant english-speaking population, especially in the rural regions, despite the official language of the country ( India) being English and most of the urban population being educated. However; I have friends whose parents gave them names like "Benadryl", "Goodbye", "Very helpful" and the absolute worst "Dishwasher". This, however is because people from the rural regions ( especially in the North-East) come to the cities, and see words in ads and billboards that they find pretty and innocently name their children after a variety of brands. I don't always blame them, I had a family friend who came off as very posh and educated, spoke perfect English... but named his daughter Darth Vader. Some of them are just trolling. Do not underestimate people of the hills; they don't take your bullshit, educated or otherwise.
Ian Webling 2 years ago
Where I live, South Africa, it is common in the rural black population to be given a second name which is topical at the time of birth. That is why, in tiny places where nothing much happens, babies are often named Happy or Welcome. And some poor sods were named Hitler and Stalin.
#15
Real name, silly: Batman bin Suparman. He's a guy in Indonesia.
Real name, awful for other reasons: Null. Any kid with that name will have no end of trouble with databases.
JoyfulZebra 2 years ago (edited)
Since "bin" means "son of", his name literally means "Batman son of Superman"
Lynn also said that it's lovely for children to have interesting names but added that “sometimes calling them names that are associated with other things can be problematic.” She recounted: “I knew a Gabriel who was far from an angel, for example. I also knew a very unoriginal William Williams. Just consider whether your child will be happy with their name at 25.”
Having said that, the educator concluded that “nothing is set in stone and if children wish to legally change their names, then they can.”
#16
One of my co worker's last name is Rising.
Please welcome to the world his baby daughter Valkyrie Rising!
I'll admit, it's f**king cool. I don't recall the middle name but it was normal like Renee or something.
#17
My sister met some kids in an international airport named Yellow, Flash, and No Exit. My sister asked No Exit why his mom picked that name; he said when she couldn’t think of anything else she saw a no exit sign from her maternity bed and settled on that.
Went to school with a guy named Dude. He was named after his grandad.
There was a college football quarterback in Missouri whose first name was Kokaine; named after his Grandad.
I worked with a lady named Crystal Wineglass.
#18
Some friends of mine in high school knew a girl named Cash Money. Met her once and she said her name with some made up accent.
One recently I ran into was Kaideynse.
#19
Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii. Yes that really was her name - her parents lost custody of her (yes way!) so her name could be legally changed. In NZ we are not allowed to name children after royalty (e.g. no King, Count, Earl etc) but sure go ahead and name your kid Number 16 Bus Shelter.
#20
Did data entry at an amusement park. One pass holder was named “Asthma.” That was her first name. Asthma, as in the breathing condition.
ThePanInPanda 2 years ago
And of course, everyone who ever wants to flirt with her will say she takes their breath away...
#21
I had a good friend when growing up whose name was Gaylord. I have lost count of the fights I got into beating off bullies at school. I've lost count of the beatings I took defending him. They eventually moved to another country and we lost touch. However, the fights and beatings continued as I have a girl's name... (yes I'm a guy)... To this day (I'm 61)... I'm still putting a**holes in their place... Yup still dealing with adolescent adults.
#22
Candida. Which, if you're not up on your medical terminology, is the name of a fungus. Specifically yeast. As in a yeast infection.
Aussie panda 2 years ago
We have a Candida at my work! So it must be popular in another country.
#23
Had a little boy in my program named Rowdy. Eh... kind of rednecky but, whatever.
Then I found out his older brother is named Howdy! WTF?
Found out later that the older boys legal name is Howard. That's less ridiculous, at least.
Official_Blink 2 years ago
Sounds like something a main character from an aussie movie would say... " hOwDy RoWdY MaTe... WaNt SoMe ShRiMp On ThE BaRbie?"
#24
Graduated with a girl named Bodacious
Edit: As a side note: when I was in basic training I met a native American fella whose name was "Knows His Gun". Just thought that was a bada** name and I've never forgotten it.
#25
Okay Arthur Doak. We called him Okay. He was the youngest of 5 kids.
Fancy (named after the Reba song) and her sister Truly (named after Truly Scrumptious from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang)
Secretlove. She was a kid my mom met when my mom worked at a pediatrician’s office. Secretlove’s mom laid out the whole story to my mom about the name.
#26
My mom's class had a 5 year old girl named Trinket. What kind of s**tty parent do you have to be to name your child after a "small item of little to no value"
Virgil Blue 2 years ago
It would have been a cute name for a cartoon mouse. For a human? Just no.
#27
Christgift, Christwill and Christgood all siblings. Bless their hearts.
#28
I once encountered a plump young woman whose name, according to her ID, was Rotunda.
#29
My sister works with a girl by the name, Tyranny. And according to my sister, it sounds like the name suits her lol.
#30
This will probably get lost in the comments but one time I saw a post that was making fun of the name Brynlee (for being a white name that a Karen would give their child) and... that’s my name.
What do you think ?
karla Meixnerová 2 years ago
I'm so glad I live in a country where there are certain rules when it comes to naming a child. Yes, some might say it's restrictive, but at least there is some "defense" against parental originality...
Cherries and Lace 2 years ago
Restrictions in defense of a child are on the books in most places. This should not be any different
Load More Replies...
Not A Panda 2 years ago (edited)
Really glad I live in a country where this s**t just wouldn't fly. Registering civil officer has the power to refuse names he or she believes would impede the child's future, or would embarrass the child, or would set the child up for bullying.
Becky Daniels 2 years ago (edited)
My sister worked with a lady who wanted to name her twins “Bagina’ (pronounced Bah-Gina) and ‘Vagina’ (pronounced Vah-Gina). I feel bad for this kids.
Aroha 2 years ago
Vagina is also a last name. I know because I accidentally saw another patient's file... At the ob/gyn!!! 🙈😅
Load More Replies...
karla Meixnerová 2 years ago
I'm so glad I live in a country where there are certain rules when it comes to naming a child. Yes, some might say it's restrictive, but at least there is some "defense" against parental originality...
Cherries and Lace 2 years ago
Restrictions in defense of a child are on the books in most places. This should not be any different
Load More Replies... Not A Panda 2 years ago (edited)
Really glad I live in a country where this s**t just wouldn't fly. Registering civil officer has the power to refuse names he or she believes would impede the child's future, or would embarrass the child, or would set the child up for bullying.
Becky Daniels 2 years ago (edited)
My sister worked with a lady who wanted to name her twins “Bagina’ (pronounced Bah-Gina) and ‘Vagina’ (pronounced Vah-Gina). I feel bad for this kids.
Aroha 2 years ago
Vagina is also a last name. I know because I accidentally saw another patient's file... At the ob/gyn!!! 🙈😅
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