Unless you are Scrooge McDuck, one of the wonderful side-perks of having money is the ability to treat your friends and family. It’s no wonder that athletes from poor backgrounds will buy their folks a car or house when their career takes off. However, it’s also important to remember that just because your friend can pay for something doesn’t mean you are suddenly entitled to their income.

A woman asked if she was wrong for refusing to pay for her friend’s lavish birthday party after they discovered she was pretty well-off. Netizens debated both sides of the argument and later, the woman shared a series of updates.

Paying for your friend is a normal part of many platonic relationships

Image credits: SHVETS production (not the actual photo)

But one woman was offended that her friends demanded she fund their birthday party

Image credits: Adrienn (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)

The young woman also shared a series of updates

Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)

Image source: Anonymous

“Friends” going through your documents is not normal behavior

Image credits: Mikhail Nilov (not the actual photo)

As some commenters noted, her “friends” going through her stuff and finding bank statements is already a pretty clear sign that these people do not have your best interests in mind. She states that they were just curious to learn more about her income, which is the sort of thing you ask about in person, not start rummaging through someone’s papers.

After all, if you were really curious about your buddies’ dealings and, even by accident, you stumbled across some of their documents, most folks would simply put them away and not start browsing. At the very least, you wouldn’t then tell them what you found and start making financial demands. It’s not easy to be poor, but the solution isn’t to turn your friends into ATM machines.

Setting that aside for now, there were a variety of comments that also questioned why she would go online to discuss this issue. Some speculated that it was just to brag about her wealth or that she already knew she was right and wanted validation. However, if we put ourselves in her shoes, a different image emerges.

For example, when most of us want some advice or a second opinion, we tend to turn to friends and family. This story perfectly illustrates why she can’t do that in this case. After all, the internet isn’t perfect, but posting an anonymous question costs nothing and can still be a helpful way to gauge a situation.

The people who have your best interest at heart don’t generally make demands of your money

Image credits: Mikhail Nilov (not the actual photo)

It’s also a tad strange that some commenters started discussing her views on marriage, even though it’s completely tangential to the story. Everyone can and will have their own marriage preferences, that’s just how it is. Unfortunately, this is the sort of topic that can spark pretty heated debates, since money and obligations are a constant. The question of “who pays?” is one that every group asks itself.

There are people who would be perfectly willing to pay for their friends. This is normal, perhaps even encouraged. After all, if you have the money, why not spend it on people you love. Can’t take it with you in the end. However, there is an important distinction between being willing to spend your own money and wanting to spend someone else’s money.

This is particularly true if you have just learned your friends are all too interested in where you get your income and immediately make plans for it. In other words, perhaps this woman would have been willing to spend some on her friends, but their actions now make her second guess. This, again, is perhaps why she went to the internet in the first place.

At the end of the day, you aren’t entitled to your friends’ money. There is some argument to be made about things like debt and hospital bills, but ultimately, if your friends are trying to pressure you into paying for luxuries, they are not actually your friends. This is just entitlement at worst and plain old greed at its best, neither of which are things anyone wants to find in a friend.

Many people thought she was in the right

Others thought she was being selfish

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