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Mom Raves How Great Abortion Ban Is, Daughter Snaps At Her Saying She Will Never Be A Grandma
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Mom Raves How Great Abortion Ban Is, Daughter Snaps At Her Saying She Will Never Be A Grandma

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It’s common for family members to disagree on a variety of topics — from fashion and lifestyle choices to politics. Yet, it becomes heartbreaking when it turns into a debate about something like basic human rights.

You guessed it, that’s what happened to today’s OP. This woman had a hysterectomy, so she couldn’t get pregnant, due to the risk related to it. At the same time, her mom kept rambling about how the abortion ban is a great idea, which made the woman lose her cool and cut contact with her right-wing mom. 

More info: Reddit

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    Family disputes over politics are common, but that doesn’t make them any less heartbreaking

    Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    This woman went off birth control and around half a year later, she was rushed to the emergency room due to ectopic pregnancy

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    Image credits: Anna Shvets / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    She lost a fallopian tube and later it was found that her other tube had a large but benign tumor

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    Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    That means if she were to get pregnant, it would be risky for her life, so she decided to get her uterus and possibility of high-risk pregnancy removed

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    Image credits: aloneandscaredd

    Some time after the operation, her right-wing mom called and starting yapping about how the new government’s abortion ban is a good thing, which angered her daughter

    Last summer, the OP came off her birth control because she had pretty bad side effects. Typically, side effects of birth control pills include such things as headaches, nausea, changes in one’s period, sore breasts, and so on. Mostly, they torment people who take them in the first 2-3 months, and then the body adapts and they usually go away. 

    Well, we don’t know what kind of side effects OP’s had, but we know that they made her choose to go off birth control. Both she and her partner were aware that it might result in pregnancy, but they felt pretty ambivalent about it—if it happens, it happens; if it doesn’t, it doesn’t.

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    Then, 6 months later, while the author was visiting her parents-in-law, she was rushed to the emergency room. Turns out she was internally bleeding from a ruptured ectopic pregnancy

    This kind of pregnancy happens when a fertilized egg gets stuck in the fallopian tubes on its way to the womb and plants itself there. There is no way for this egg to develop into a baby and it puts the pregnant person’s life at risk, especially if it ruptures.

    When it happened, the woman underwent emergency surgery to stop the bleeding, during which they had to remove one of her fallopian tubes. After such a procedure, it is still possible to get pregnant as long as the woman has another fallopian tube, ovulates, and has at least one functioning ovary.

    Unfortunately, soon after, the doctor found a large, benign tumor on the original poster’s other fallopian tube, along with uterine fibroids. This meant that if she were to get pregnant, it would be a high-risk pregnancy, which would be unlikely (but not impossible) to carry to full term.

    If anything went wrong during her pregnancy, she would need to get an abortion. In the state she lives in, legal team input is needed to go through when it comes to emergency abortion, which can extend the process to the point it is too late. 

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    Image credits: Drazen Zigic / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    So, given how dangerous her situation was, the OP decided to get a hysterectomy. It’s a major operation during which a woman’s uterus is removed and she no longer can get pregnant. 

    The author’s surgery was done the day after the United States elections, so on November 6th. While physically, she was recovering pretty well, the emotional side of things was a little more complicated. And her mom didn’t make it easier. 

    The mom didn’t know about the author’s operation, as she had only told her husband and best friend, as she wanted to come to terms with it before explaining it to the world. So, one day, her mom called her and started going on about how this new government would be great for families, how she couldn’t wait to be a grandma, and that the abortion ban would “save so many unborn babies.” 

    All of this made the OP lose her cool. She started screaming at her mom that she’d never be a grandma and that it is because the mentioned abortion restriction put her daughter’s life in danger, so she made sure it wouldn’t.

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    People online agreed that she wasn’t wrong here and that she shouldn’t apologize. The ban that her mom worships will put a lot of women’s lives in danger, not only the OP’s, if realized. Instead, the author’s mom should apologize or admit that she actually doesn’t really care about her daughter’s reproductive rights, which would be a heartbreaking revelation.

    Either way, with no update, we don’t know if any of that happened. We hope that the original poster’s mom will come to her senses and realize where she was wrong. But even if she does, there are plenty of people in the US and the world who don’t realize it, which makes it a scary place to be a woman.

    She exploded on her mom, saying that this new government is the reason why she won’t have kids, and later refused to apologize, which was a decision netizens approved of

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    Ugnė Bulotaitė

    Ugnė Bulotaitė

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

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    I am a writer at Bored Panda. I have loved creating and writing down stories about people and things since I was little and I think this passion led me to get degrees in sociology, communication, and journalism. These degrees opened various paths for me, and I got a chance to be a volunteer in the human rights field, and also try myself out in social research and journalism areas. Besides writing, my passions include pop culture: music, movies, TV shows; literature, and board games. In fact, I have been dubbed a board games devotee by some people in my life.

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    Ugnė Bulotaitė

    Ugnė Bulotaitė

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    I am a writer at Bored Panda. I have loved creating and writing down stories about people and things since I was little and I think this passion led me to get degrees in sociology, communication, and journalism. These degrees opened various paths for me, and I got a chance to be a volunteer in the human rights field, and also try myself out in social research and journalism areas. Besides writing, my passions include pop culture: music, movies, TV shows; literature, and board games. In fact, I have been dubbed a board games devotee by some people in my life.

    Rūta Zumbrickaitė

    Rūta Zumbrickaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

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    Hi! Nice to meet you~ I'm very passionate about animals, especially cats, photography, small DIY projects, music and so much more! Could say I am the TV show The Office connoisseur since I have seen it at least a dozen times~

    Read less »

    Rūta Zumbrickaitė

    Rūta Zumbrickaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Hi! Nice to meet you~ I'm very passionate about animals, especially cats, photography, small DIY projects, music and so much more! Could say I am the TV show The Office connoisseur since I have seen it at least a dozen times~

    What do you think ?
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    POST
    Surly Scot
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a total hysterectomy a few months ago for medical reasons (even the surgeon was surprised at the sh*tshow going on inside me when she cut into me), before the surgery and since, women will not stop commenting to me that I've made the worst decision, that i'll regret it when I can't have kids, that my life won't be complete or matter without kids, that men won't date me anymore as "a man won't be with a woman who can't give him a legacy". I AM NOT BREEDING CATTLE, myself and every other woman's life and value does not come from popping sardines out of our can. Am so sick of this mentality being perpetuated.

    Kate Johnson
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some women are limited and want to limit all other women to their level of achievement.

    Load More Replies...
    TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    MAGA is why you had to make that heartrending decision. You can absolutely talk to her like that. Make no mistake, your dad is totally a MAGA enabler.

    Nikole
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Right? No way in hell I’d apologize. I’d probably bring it up every time I spoke to her.

    Load More Replies...
    Kate Johnson
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What's to apologize for? Holding her mother accountable for her vote?

    Sarah Matsoukis
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Those unwanted kids will be born but that doesn't mean they're be fine, many of them will be miserable.

    Gozer LeGozerian
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm not above telling my mum to go f herself if she voted for that r@pist

    Dave In MD
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Never apologize to a MAGA. They would never apologize to you or anyone.

    Darthest Starfish
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd tell dad that i love him but to p**s off. He doesn't get to dictate or demand anything as you're an adult. Don't budge on this.

    Tams21
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What the op said was simply the truth and the way she said it came from the fact that she was effectively forced into having her uterus removed because of the vote of people like her mother. Her anger is more than justified. Nta.

    Tiger
    Community Member
    2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It’s so heartbreaking and terrifying - and frankly inhumane - what American women are being forced to endure now. I didn’t find out I was pregnant until 8 weeks. I’m Canadian so a free abortion and care was readily available to me, but I can’t stop thinking of the 6-week bans some US women are forced into. I genuinely had NO IDEA until 8 weeks, I had been on birth control and I even still got my period. It was the sudden morning sickness that clued me in. If I was in the US, my life would have been completely ruined by that government. I might even be dead (there’s a medical reason I had an abortion). I’m so scared for my American sisters ❤️🥺 MAGA republican men need to stop using their positions to kill innocent women.

    n75mk9nk2n
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nope, absolutely NTA. Choices have consequences. Your mother made a choice and now faces the consequence of that choice. Hate is always self-destructive, and destroys the hater. She did that to herself.

    Space Invader
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tell them that if they don't change their attitude, their future won't just be devoid of grandchildren but of a daughter as well!

    Terry B
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA Restricting abortion is one thing, but restricting birth control, and necessary surgery to save a woman's life is another. When my daughter was 16 months old, I was 10 weeks into my second pregnancy. I miscarried, and wound up the next morning bleeding uncontrollably. An ambulance ride later, at the hospital an ultrasound revealed that my miscarriage was incomplete. In order to keep me from bleeding to death the doctors performed a D & C. I survived to help raise my daughter, and her brother born 2 1/2 years later. MAGA would rather I had died....my husband and children are of a different opinion Each woman should have the right to survive. Refusing to allow life saving procedures when pregnancy goes wrong is murder no matter what, self righteous wrapping they present it in.

    Kathrin Pukowsky
    Community Member
    2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP mentioned that she ONLY told her spouse and best friend about the procedure. So when the mother gave her MAGA speech - while no doubt delusional drivel - she was clueless about what OP had just gone through. She was bigotry-fangirling and just so happened to hit a fresh wound. OP's approach of NOT apologising for WHAT she said, but for HOW she said it sounds appropriate to me, IF the mother apologises for unintentionally hurting OP with her choice of topic. I mean, it would be nice if she had a moment of clarity regarding her political views, but I wouldn't try holding my breath waiting for that to happen.

    Matthew Barabas
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    dopnt apologize. if your mom refuses to apologize, then never talk to her again. ever.

    Elmina
    Community Member
    9 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm so sorry for the experience that OP had and for the extremely difficult decision that she had to make. I've had to make a vaguely similar decision 9 years ago (terminate a pregnancy at 20 weeks, OR, wait for my unborn son to die in the womb and then have an induction to deliver his little body). My take-away from that experience was the following: "If you have not experienced something, you don't get to have an opinion on it. If you feel like you are entitled to an opinion, you'd better not expect me to hear you out". Simple as that. I'm 100% behind OP and her decision and her reaction - I've wanted to slap so many people for their uninformed and stupid comments and opinions. To OP: Honey, you will heal and it will get a little easier. Hang in there!

    Mariotevez
    Community Member
    2 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    I fail to believe a healthy democracy can withstand scenarios where one side shames the other for simply voting. This is a symptom of end stage political hyper polarization.

    meeeeeeeeeeee
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    voting to take people's rights, it's not the same as voting for lower taxes. Not sure why you're glossing over the context

    Load More Replies...
    Aline
    Community Member
    2 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Doc gave OP bad info, or she didn't want to hear it. Removing tubes/tying them off is more than enough to prevent pregnancy. Hysterectomy wasn't tondo with pregnancy but because of the fibroids, it's pain management. A close friend had the procedure and we are safely in a country where abortion is not an issue. If they told you it was to prevent pregnancy, take them to court.

    Earonn -
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, that might be what some forced breeders told you but the DOCTOR who TIED MY TUBES told me that even that isn't 100% safe. I could handle that, because for me it just means abortion and I don't live in forced-breeder-country, but when it's life threatening, why taking the risk?

    Load More Replies...
    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    2 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Why wouldn't you opt for a vaeectomy? Far fewer side effects than hysterectomy. Doesn't involve hormone therapy, which is also under threat in conservative states. With a vesectomy and no working filopian tubes, pregnancy is near impossible. If it had to do with the fibroids, stop blaming abortion laws, they are awful, but many women with similar issues have hysterectomies to manage pain and general health. It sounds like you just want to argue with MAGA relatives and go ahead, but be honest about why the hysterectomy.

    KatSaidWhat
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like someone doesn't understand that this is not just about having a kid, it's about all the other health elements involved. Sincerely, someone who also had an ectopic pregnancy miscarriage.

    Load More Replies...
    Surly Scot
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a total hysterectomy a few months ago for medical reasons (even the surgeon was surprised at the sh*tshow going on inside me when she cut into me), before the surgery and since, women will not stop commenting to me that I've made the worst decision, that i'll regret it when I can't have kids, that my life won't be complete or matter without kids, that men won't date me anymore as "a man won't be with a woman who can't give him a legacy". I AM NOT BREEDING CATTLE, myself and every other woman's life and value does not come from popping sardines out of our can. Am so sick of this mentality being perpetuated.

    Kate Johnson
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some women are limited and want to limit all other women to their level of achievement.

    Load More Replies...
    TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    MAGA is why you had to make that heartrending decision. You can absolutely talk to her like that. Make no mistake, your dad is totally a MAGA enabler.

    Nikole
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Right? No way in hell I’d apologize. I’d probably bring it up every time I spoke to her.

    Load More Replies...
    Kate Johnson
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What's to apologize for? Holding her mother accountable for her vote?

    Sarah Matsoukis
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Those unwanted kids will be born but that doesn't mean they're be fine, many of them will be miserable.

    Gozer LeGozerian
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm not above telling my mum to go f herself if she voted for that r@pist

    Dave In MD
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Never apologize to a MAGA. They would never apologize to you or anyone.

    Darthest Starfish
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd tell dad that i love him but to p**s off. He doesn't get to dictate or demand anything as you're an adult. Don't budge on this.

    Tams21
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What the op said was simply the truth and the way she said it came from the fact that she was effectively forced into having her uterus removed because of the vote of people like her mother. Her anger is more than justified. Nta.

    Tiger
    Community Member
    2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It’s so heartbreaking and terrifying - and frankly inhumane - what American women are being forced to endure now. I didn’t find out I was pregnant until 8 weeks. I’m Canadian so a free abortion and care was readily available to me, but I can’t stop thinking of the 6-week bans some US women are forced into. I genuinely had NO IDEA until 8 weeks, I had been on birth control and I even still got my period. It was the sudden morning sickness that clued me in. If I was in the US, my life would have been completely ruined by that government. I might even be dead (there’s a medical reason I had an abortion). I’m so scared for my American sisters ❤️🥺 MAGA republican men need to stop using their positions to kill innocent women.

    n75mk9nk2n
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nope, absolutely NTA. Choices have consequences. Your mother made a choice and now faces the consequence of that choice. Hate is always self-destructive, and destroys the hater. She did that to herself.

    Space Invader
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tell them that if they don't change their attitude, their future won't just be devoid of grandchildren but of a daughter as well!

    Terry B
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA Restricting abortion is one thing, but restricting birth control, and necessary surgery to save a woman's life is another. When my daughter was 16 months old, I was 10 weeks into my second pregnancy. I miscarried, and wound up the next morning bleeding uncontrollably. An ambulance ride later, at the hospital an ultrasound revealed that my miscarriage was incomplete. In order to keep me from bleeding to death the doctors performed a D & C. I survived to help raise my daughter, and her brother born 2 1/2 years later. MAGA would rather I had died....my husband and children are of a different opinion Each woman should have the right to survive. Refusing to allow life saving procedures when pregnancy goes wrong is murder no matter what, self righteous wrapping they present it in.

    Kathrin Pukowsky
    Community Member
    2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP mentioned that she ONLY told her spouse and best friend about the procedure. So when the mother gave her MAGA speech - while no doubt delusional drivel - she was clueless about what OP had just gone through. She was bigotry-fangirling and just so happened to hit a fresh wound. OP's approach of NOT apologising for WHAT she said, but for HOW she said it sounds appropriate to me, IF the mother apologises for unintentionally hurting OP with her choice of topic. I mean, it would be nice if she had a moment of clarity regarding her political views, but I wouldn't try holding my breath waiting for that to happen.

    Matthew Barabas
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    dopnt apologize. if your mom refuses to apologize, then never talk to her again. ever.

    Elmina
    Community Member
    9 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm so sorry for the experience that OP had and for the extremely difficult decision that she had to make. I've had to make a vaguely similar decision 9 years ago (terminate a pregnancy at 20 weeks, OR, wait for my unborn son to die in the womb and then have an induction to deliver his little body). My take-away from that experience was the following: "If you have not experienced something, you don't get to have an opinion on it. If you feel like you are entitled to an opinion, you'd better not expect me to hear you out". Simple as that. I'm 100% behind OP and her decision and her reaction - I've wanted to slap so many people for their uninformed and stupid comments and opinions. To OP: Honey, you will heal and it will get a little easier. Hang in there!

    Mariotevez
    Community Member
    2 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    I fail to believe a healthy democracy can withstand scenarios where one side shames the other for simply voting. This is a symptom of end stage political hyper polarization.

    meeeeeeeeeeee
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    voting to take people's rights, it's not the same as voting for lower taxes. Not sure why you're glossing over the context

    Load More Replies...
    Aline
    Community Member
    2 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Doc gave OP bad info, or she didn't want to hear it. Removing tubes/tying them off is more than enough to prevent pregnancy. Hysterectomy wasn't tondo with pregnancy but because of the fibroids, it's pain management. A close friend had the procedure and we are safely in a country where abortion is not an issue. If they told you it was to prevent pregnancy, take them to court.

    Earonn -
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, that might be what some forced breeders told you but the DOCTOR who TIED MY TUBES told me that even that isn't 100% safe. I could handle that, because for me it just means abortion and I don't live in forced-breeder-country, but when it's life threatening, why taking the risk?

    Load More Replies...
    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    2 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Why wouldn't you opt for a vaeectomy? Far fewer side effects than hysterectomy. Doesn't involve hormone therapy, which is also under threat in conservative states. With a vesectomy and no working filopian tubes, pregnancy is near impossible. If it had to do with the fibroids, stop blaming abortion laws, they are awful, but many women with similar issues have hysterectomies to manage pain and general health. It sounds like you just want to argue with MAGA relatives and go ahead, but be honest about why the hysterectomy.

    KatSaidWhat
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like someone doesn't understand that this is not just about having a kid, it's about all the other health elements involved. Sincerely, someone who also had an ectopic pregnancy miscarriage.

    Load More Replies...
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