Loved by some, hated by others, sarcasm is something that’s difficult to escape in our current society. It’s not only that one friend—who can’t seemingly answer a question with a simple yes or no—who uses it, it’s most of us; to some extent, at least.

The Smithsonian pointed out that nearly a quarter of people who’ve said ‘yeah, right’ while talking to someone on the phone were being sarcastic. As a matter of fact, many popular phrases were ruined by it, such as the good old ‘Bless your heart’ or ‘Lucky you’, which are rarely ever said in a sincere manner anymore.

A linguist at Macalester College in St. Paul, Minnesota, and the author of Talk is Cheap: Sarcasm, Alienation and the Evolution of Language, John Haiman, told The Smithsonian, “It’s practically the primary language,” referring to sarcasm in modern society.

Whether or not you consider sarcasm a primary language or find the habit of using such a form of ironic speech annoying, you probably can distinguish when a person is being sarcastic.

According to Haiman, there are many ways to show that what a person is saying is not direct or sincere; and they can be found in both spoken and written language, given away by a certain choice of pitch, tone, volume, pauses, duration, or punctuation.

A good example of this is a simple ‘Excuse me’, which in the context of a regular conversation would most likely be sincere. But when presented as “Excuuuuuse me”, it typically evokes a different emotion, suggesting that a person is not actually all that apologetic.

Even though it is possible to communicate sarcastic wit through texts and messages, many would likely agree that it is easier said than… written down. What I mean by that is that it’s arguably easier to understand when a person is being sarcastic when you can actually hear and see them. 

According to studies on expressing sarcastic sentiment, people tend to use heavy tonal stress and certain gestural clues, such as rolling their eyes or using certain hand movements, to show that they’re being sarcastic. “In the textual data, these tonal and gestural clues are missing, making sarcasm detection very difficult for an average human.”

But, thanks to emoticons, messages, too, can become quite clearly sarcastic. Just take the simplest smiley face—also known as :) for those who have grown up in the pre-emoji era—unless it’s your mother, an aunt, or someone representing the older generation messaging you, chances are they are being sarcastic. Though, research on emoticons as markers of intention suggests that the tongue-showing and winking emoticons are the principal indicators of sarcastic intent.

Whether written or spoken, sarcasm is not the best choice when it comes to conveying a message. “As a communication technique, sarcasm is really a poor choice,” the CEO of Kennetik Kommunications, Robert Kennedy III, suggests.

He pointed out that it often works for comedians on stage, but in personal communication, it can create barriers and even end relationships among people. That’s because, according to the expert, such a form of expressing oneself is often nothing more than hostility disguised as humor. Often used as a “power play for the gutless”, it might negatively affect those on the receiving end.

Licensed mental health counselor Anthony D. Smith seconds the idea that sarcasm—too much of it, to be specific—is not the best way to go about personal communication. That’s because, according to him, chronically sarcastic people often harbor passive-aggressive characteristics, which those around them can only handle so much of.

According to the expert, “A little sarcastic wit is like a spicy seasoning. A pinch of it can make food enjoyable, but a serving of the spice itself hurts.”

Despite sarcasm not being the gentlest form of communication, it can actually increase the creativity of both the sender and the person on the receiving end. Researchers from Harvard, Columbia, and INSEAD found that “Expressing or receiving sarcasm led individuals to perceive a higher sense of conflict but also increased creativity as compared to expressing or receiving sincerity or having a neutral conversation.”

The way a sarcastic message is received and whether the sender is considered more rude or creative might differ depending on the culture, too. A cross-cultural study of perceptions of sarcasm found that between the US, Mexico, and China, for instance, the former two reported more use of sarcasm than the latter. (Though all three seem to share the same main reasons for using sarcasm—"to be funny" and "to have fun with friends.")

When it comes to cultural differences in regards to perception of humor in general, Easterners reportedly don’t have as positive of an attitude towards it as Westerners do, making the latter more prone to using humor as a coping strategy, compared to their eastern counterparts.

If you’d like to continue exploring this sort of witty humor, continue to browse Bored Panda’s previous lists on ‘Sarcasm.og’, which you can find here or here, or check out this entire category dedicated to all sorts of memes and choose the list that interests you the most.