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Dad Spends Decades Raising Ungrateful Kids, They Vanish Without A Trace, He’s Filled With Regret
Parenting is like riding a rollercoaster with no safety bar. One moment, you’re on cloud nine, basking in the pure joy of your little angel’s giggles, and the next, you’re dodging flying Legos and dealing with teenage mood swings that would make a soap opera seem tame.
Sure, we all hear about the sunshine moments, but for some parents, like the dad in our story, the reality is a whole lot stormier. Turns out, his biggest regret in life is having kids. That’s a truth bomb no one sees coming at baby showers, right?
More info: Quora
RELATED:
Regretting having kids is something many parents never talk about, but it’s more common than you think
Image credits: Tima Miroshnichenko / Pexels (not the actual photo)
One father found himself grappling with this regret after dedicating his life to his children, only to feel completely abandoned
Image credits: Alan Dyson
Dad says he regrets ever having kids, feels like he was just an ATM for them, as they always had the best things in life, but now completely ignore him
This dad didn’t just dip his toe in the parenting pool – he dove in headfirst and gave his kids everything. We’re talking time, money, energy, even his dignity. Fancy clothes? Done. Top-notch education? Absolutely. He even stuck it out for 25 years in a loveless marriage that had all the passion of a board meeting because, you know, “for the kids.”
So, what does he have to show for all that sacrifice? Well, nothing. Absolutely zilch. For the past 9 years, he’s been treated to the sound of silence from his kids. Not a call, not a text, not even a meme-forward and he’s left wondering if he’s a dad or just a forgotten human ATM.
But before you start thinking this guy is alone in his feelings, hold up. Turns out, this isn’t as rare as you might think. Parental regret is real, people! Research shows that there’s a surprising number of parents out there who secretly (or not so secretly) regret having kids.
And it’s not just because they miss their Saturday sleep-ins. It’s the mental toll, the financial strain, and yeah, the feeling of being stuck in a loveless marriage that makes this whole parenting gig feel less like a dream and more like a nightmare.
This dad’s sob story is more than just a sad tale of parenting gone wrong—it’s a peek into the messy, complicated reality of modern parenthood. You spend years pouring your heart, soul, and paycheck into your kids, expecting a little gratitude in return. But instead of a heartwarming thank-you, you get ghosted. It’s a bitter pill to swallow when the people you raised and sacrificed for just disappear.
So why does this happen? Well, experts say it can be about unmet expectations. When you’ve spent years driving carpool, slapping PB&Js together, and giving up your Friday nights to chaperone middle school dances, a little appreciation doesn’t seem like too much to ask. But when the love tank is running on empty, regret starts creeping in faster than you can say “parent-teacher conference.”
Image credits: Andy Kuzma / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Netizens think there might be more to this story. Some folks speculated that maybe this dad did more of the ATM thing and less of the “actual dad” thing. Apparently, you can’t swipe your way to a loving relationship. Others weren’t shy about pointing out that growing up in a loveless marriage could’ve made his kids run for the hills.
One user hit the nail on the head, saying that while fancy clothes and a roof over your head are nice, what kids really want is a dad who shows up—not just at the bank, but at family dinners, for awkward life talks, and all the emotional baggage in between.
But beyond the personal drama, there’s a whole other layer to this story. We’ve been spoon-fed the idea that having kids is the ultimate life goal, like it’s going to unlock a secret level of happiness and fulfillment. Spoiler alert: sometimes, it doesn’t.
For some people, parenthood is more stress than snuggles, more sacrifice than satisfaction. And while it might feel taboo to admit, regretting parenthood doesn’t make you a villain, it just makes you human.
When you sacrifice everything for your kids, and even spend 25 years in a loveless marriage just to make sure they are ok, only to be rewarded with complete ignorance as adults, you end up regretting your life choices.
According to experts, that’s a fast track to resentment—both toward your spouse and the little humans you sacrificed it all for. Because when you give up your own happiness to play the role of “good parent,” it usually ends with everyone feeling miserable.
Regret, especially when it comes to having kids, is messy, complicated, and super personal. For this dad, those 9 years of silence have left a hole in his heart. He gave his all, but in return, he’s left with nothing but a crushing sense of loss. No happy family dinners, no grandkids on the horizon, just… emptiness.
Maybe it’s time we start being real about this whole parenting thing. Not everyone’s journey is filled with Instagram-worthy moments, and that’s okay.
What did you think of this story? Drop your nuggets of wisdom in the comment section below.
Netizens suspect there must be something more to this story, agreeing that sometimes, even the biggest sacrifices aren’t enough to keep a family together
Image credits: Lukas / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
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What do you think ?
Ms.GB 2 months ago (edited)
He said he gave his kids everything and then went on to list a bunch of material things. It's no wonder that they also value material things on top of happy peaceful relationships. People need a certain amount of material possessions to survive but that doesn't nourish the soul. He basically raised them in a toxic household, demonstrating a loveless marriage and it's very telling that his list of "everything" only includes things that can be bought. I wonder if he ever gave them anything they REALLY needed. Children learn what's important in life by watching their parents, if he showed love by showering them with money is it any wonder that they think money=love and happiness?
Load More Replies...
lenka 2 months ago
If the children were entitled, rude and ungrateful then that is a result of bad parenting and you only have yourself to blame. Perhaps if it was one kid, you could claim they were a bad egg, but when both kids go no contact it says more about you than it does about them.
Cora Van der Gaag 2 months ago
They had two parents. So which one was the one why they left. I have personally seen what some spouse can do to ruine the pot.
Load More Replies...
Angrykitten 2 months ago
My experience kids raised in a happy healthy supportive home don't usually go no contact.
FreeTheUnicorn 2 months ago
Staying in a loveless marriage for 25 years is a big clue to home life not being great. You were miserable, so were they.
CatWoman1014 2 months ago
He probably was horrible to his wife and his kids saw that. They didn’t feel love with their dad so they only saw him as a provider
Load More Replies... TribbleThinking 2 months ago
"They complained every day of my life". It is a sad complaint indeed. The OP may well feel that way, but I do take issue with inaccurate complaints, and this simple sentence is physically impossible. His children did not exist for about the first two decades of his life, and haven't spoken to him for the last 9 years, all time they haven't been complaining. So the odds are that the OP has a very depressed and destructive view on things generally, should acknowledge it and should seek help.
can relate 2 months ago
He seems to blame to kids for his choice to stay in an unhappy relationship. I'm sure that household was a very uncomfortable place to grow up if he wanted to leave the wife for 25 years as he states
Load More Replies...
Pencil McGovern 2 months ago
Loveless marriages make loveless families. He may have thought he was doing what was best for his kids but the truth is he (and his wife) modeled resentment, disdain, apathy and cowardice. Because that's what loveless marriages are made of. I can pity him because there's no reason to believe he had any ill-intent but the bed he's lying in is of his own making.
Disgruntled Panda 2 months ago
If you look at the hundreds of answers he's given to other Quora questions, quite a few of them are "not very nice"
Thrillion 2 months ago
Having/Raising kids isn't an investment in the future. You get out of it what you put into it. If he was "suffering" through their time with him then so were they and he missed his opportunity. Also, kids don't need stuff to be happy, they can be happy with nothing but parent time and attention.
john doe 2 months ago
The things I remember about my dad aren't money or what he bought me, it was all of the awesome things he taught me to do and did with me, hunting fishing skiing just to name a few, I love my dad and money could never have anything to do with it. This guy seems to think you can buy love and happiness, he needs to re evaluate life.
IamMe 2 months ago
I think his biggest regret, should be staying in a marriage he didn't want to be in. His feelings about that, likely spilled over onto his children, because they were the reason he gave himself for staying. Not to mention, that kids aren't stupid. They just might act out, if they're living in an unhappy home.
varwenea 2 months ago
We're not hearing the full story here. While being a generous monetary provider ought to be commended, did he also provide time, care, and compassion to his children? He didn't mention their mother or his wife. If they had a troubling end of marriage, perhaps she spread lies about him. We'll never know.
Daniel Gómez 2 months ago (edited)
There's definitely a lot more to what he said, and it seems he's only telling his side of the story in a way that makes people sympathize with him. Sadly, I've this kind of behaviour from narcissistic parents, who claim they gave their children all they could and now ythey're "ungrateful". The reality is, they sucked as parents in many ways and can't come to terms with that, or won't even see it because they're incapable to do so.
can relate 2 months ago
There needs to be more information here. People don't just cut people out of their lives for no reason. If all his kids have gone low or no contact them I'd like to hear their side of the story
Sarah Léon 2 months ago
Who raised the children ? My parents were separated (never married) and my dad lived 800km from me but he managed to come to see me every 3 weeks and spend the week-end. Yes, he helped my mother, paid for my private school, my clothes and around a ton of games for my birthdays and Christmas presents. But what I remember are the stories he read me when he came, the way he woke me up in the morning with that delicious smell of hot coco even when I was 20 and in college, his calls every wednesdays and sundays (the sunday ones continued until he died, I was 34 and I still miss them every week 6 years later !). Material things are not what we, kids, keep in mind.
CatWoman1014 2 months ago (edited)
Giving them food and clothes is the bare minimum. A provider is not the same as being a father. Were you there for them when they were sad? Did you stick up for them if they were being wronged? Did you watch their games or plays? There’s more to this. People don’t cut off their parents without a reason.
tameson 2 months ago
I'm surprised at everyone assuming his kid's going no contact automatically means he was a bad parent. Those kids had two parents, and we know the marriage was "loveless". It is just as likely that it was the mom who was the "bad parent" and taught her kids that the only thing he was good for was money. And then encouraged them to cut him out of their lives.
Natasha Clark 2 months ago
How much you want to bet that OP cheated during that "loveless marriage", his wife found out & divorced him for ruining the family? As the saying goes there's a reason for everything so his kids didn't go NC for nothing I'm pretty sure.
Deborah B 2 months ago
He's all about what he did for his kids financially, and for their education, and all about what his kids aren't doing for him in terms of emotional support and attention. "I buy you things, so you have to love me." isn't a good basis for a relationship. Paying for "the finest education" but your kids never going to class says that either this guy was not listening to what they wanted to study, or not holding them accountable for passing their classes each semester. Either way it doesn't sound like good parenting.
Fox with a Dragon Tattoo 2 months ago
I party feel bad for the OP. But also feel like this is the classic money makes bad people situation. And seems like the importance he put on money lead to this. Rich people deserve so little of my pity I find it hard to care.. especially when he cant see the big picture even now he talks about it transactionally.
Ms.GB 2 months ago (edited)
He said he gave his kids everything and then went on to list a bunch of material things. It's no wonder that they also value material things on top of happy peaceful relationships. People need a certain amount of material possessions to survive but that doesn't nourish the soul. He basically raised them in a toxic household, demonstrating a loveless marriage and it's very telling that his list of "everything" only includes things that can be bought. I wonder if he ever gave them anything they REALLY needed. Children learn what's important in life by watching their parents, if he showed love by showering them with money is it any wonder that they think money=love and happiness?
Load More Replies... lenka 2 months ago
If the children were entitled, rude and ungrateful then that is a result of bad parenting and you only have yourself to blame. Perhaps if it was one kid, you could claim they were a bad egg, but when both kids go no contact it says more about you than it does about them.
Cora Van der Gaag 2 months ago
They had two parents. So which one was the one why they left. I have personally seen what some spouse can do to ruine the pot.
Load More Replies... Angrykitten 2 months ago
My experience kids raised in a happy healthy supportive home don't usually go no contact.
FreeTheUnicorn 2 months ago
Staying in a loveless marriage for 25 years is a big clue to home life not being great. You were miserable, so were they.
CatWoman1014 2 months ago
He probably was horrible to his wife and his kids saw that. They didn’t feel love with their dad so they only saw him as a provider
Load More Replies... TribbleThinking 2 months ago
"They complained every day of my life". It is a sad complaint indeed. The OP may well feel that way, but I do take issue with inaccurate complaints, and this simple sentence is physically impossible. His children did not exist for about the first two decades of his life, and haven't spoken to him for the last 9 years, all time they haven't been complaining. So the odds are that the OP has a very depressed and destructive view on things generally, should acknowledge it and should seek help.
can relate 2 months ago
He seems to blame to kids for his choice to stay in an unhappy relationship. I'm sure that household was a very uncomfortable place to grow up if he wanted to leave the wife for 25 years as he states
Load More Replies... Pencil McGovern 2 months ago
Loveless marriages make loveless families. He may have thought he was doing what was best for his kids but the truth is he (and his wife) modeled resentment, disdain, apathy and cowardice. Because that's what loveless marriages are made of. I can pity him because there's no reason to believe he had any ill-intent but the bed he's lying in is of his own making.
Disgruntled Panda 2 months ago
If you look at the hundreds of answers he's given to other Quora questions, quite a few of them are "not very nice"
Thrillion 2 months ago
Having/Raising kids isn't an investment in the future. You get out of it what you put into it. If he was "suffering" through their time with him then so were they and he missed his opportunity. Also, kids don't need stuff to be happy, they can be happy with nothing but parent time and attention.
john doe 2 months ago
The things I remember about my dad aren't money or what he bought me, it was all of the awesome things he taught me to do and did with me, hunting fishing skiing just to name a few, I love my dad and money could never have anything to do with it. This guy seems to think you can buy love and happiness, he needs to re evaluate life.
IamMe 2 months ago
I think his biggest regret, should be staying in a marriage he didn't want to be in. His feelings about that, likely spilled over onto his children, because they were the reason he gave himself for staying. Not to mention, that kids aren't stupid. They just might act out, if they're living in an unhappy home.
varwenea 2 months ago
We're not hearing the full story here. While being a generous monetary provider ought to be commended, did he also provide time, care, and compassion to his children? He didn't mention their mother or his wife. If they had a troubling end of marriage, perhaps she spread lies about him. We'll never know.
Daniel Gómez 2 months ago (edited)
There's definitely a lot more to what he said, and it seems he's only telling his side of the story in a way that makes people sympathize with him. Sadly, I've this kind of behaviour from narcissistic parents, who claim they gave their children all they could and now ythey're "ungrateful". The reality is, they sucked as parents in many ways and can't come to terms with that, or won't even see it because they're incapable to do so.
can relate 2 months ago
There needs to be more information here. People don't just cut people out of their lives for no reason. If all his kids have gone low or no contact them I'd like to hear their side of the story
Sarah Léon 2 months ago
Who raised the children ? My parents were separated (never married) and my dad lived 800km from me but he managed to come to see me every 3 weeks and spend the week-end. Yes, he helped my mother, paid for my private school, my clothes and around a ton of games for my birthdays and Christmas presents. But what I remember are the stories he read me when he came, the way he woke me up in the morning with that delicious smell of hot coco even when I was 20 and in college, his calls every wednesdays and sundays (the sunday ones continued until he died, I was 34 and I still miss them every week 6 years later !). Material things are not what we, kids, keep in mind.
CatWoman1014 2 months ago (edited)
Giving them food and clothes is the bare minimum. A provider is not the same as being a father. Were you there for them when they were sad? Did you stick up for them if they were being wronged? Did you watch their games or plays? There’s more to this. People don’t cut off their parents without a reason.
tameson 2 months ago
I'm surprised at everyone assuming his kid's going no contact automatically means he was a bad parent. Those kids had two parents, and we know the marriage was "loveless". It is just as likely that it was the mom who was the "bad parent" and taught her kids that the only thing he was good for was money. And then encouraged them to cut him out of their lives.
Natasha Clark 2 months ago
How much you want to bet that OP cheated during that "loveless marriage", his wife found out & divorced him for ruining the family? As the saying goes there's a reason for everything so his kids didn't go NC for nothing I'm pretty sure.
Deborah B 2 months ago
He's all about what he did for his kids financially, and for their education, and all about what his kids aren't doing for him in terms of emotional support and attention. "I buy you things, so you have to love me." isn't a good basis for a relationship. Paying for "the finest education" but your kids never going to class says that either this guy was not listening to what they wanted to study, or not holding them accountable for passing their classes each semester. Either way it doesn't sound like good parenting.
Fox with a Dragon Tattoo 2 months ago
I party feel bad for the OP. But also feel like this is the classic money makes bad people situation. And seems like the importance he put on money lead to this. Rich people deserve so little of my pity I find it hard to care.. especially when he cant see the big picture even now he talks about it transactionally.
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