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“I Screamed At My Husband Over His Hobbies And Now He’s Changed And I Don’t Know How To Fix This”
Sometimes couples get their wires crossed. In the heat of the moment, tempers can flare and things can be said that are almost immediately regretted. Depending on the strength of the relationship, amends can be made, or things can suddenly go south.
For one woman, she was filled with regret after she freaked out at her husband over his hobbies before unleashing a wave of verbal abuse. Nothing could have prepared her for her husband’s reaction, and now she’s wondering whether they’re headed for divorce.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
Even the healthiest romantic relationships can falter, but this wife fears she went too far
Image credits: SHVETS production / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Her introverted husband has a hobby room that he loves inviting her into, but one day she’d had enough
Image credits: Explain_Like_Im_3 / Reddit (not the actual photo)
She freaked out at him, calling his hobbies stupid, telling him he needs a social life, and, worst of all, questioning why she ever married him
Image credits: KATRIN BOLOVTSOVA / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Her husband didn’t react well, moving to sleeping on the couch, ignoring his hobbies, and picking up a workaholic habit made famous by his father
Image credits: ThrowRApineapplesp
The woman has apologized multiple times but, fearing divorce, turned to the web to ask for relationship advice
OP begins her story by asking the community for their advice on a situation with her husband. Apparently, the couple has been married for 4 years, and her husband has a room for all his hobbies – everything from sim racing to LEGO sets. It’s basically his sanctuary. She also shares that he’s on the spectrum and doesn’t have any close friends.
She goes on to say that he’s always inviting her to be a part of his interests and, while she loves him and appreciates that he wants to include her, sometimes she just needs some time to herself. Well, recently she snapped and told her husband that his interests bore her, he needs to get a social life and, perhaps most hurtfully, she even questioned why she married him.
Well, since the incident, OP says her husband has completely changed. He’s moved to sleeping on the couch, never goes into his man cave, and has started working at home, something the couple had agreed on not ever doing. He’s even ignored the couple’s longstanding tradition of watching their nation’s football games together.
OP says she’s apologized to him multiple times, but her husband remains unmoved. Now she’s terrified he’s going to divorce her but doesn’t know how to rebuild the trust between them. At her wits’ end, she turned to Reddit for advice on how to make things right.
From what she tells us in her post, OP definitely messed up. Her hurtful comments have forced her already neurodiverse husband to withdraw and, perhaps, question the marriage himself. If you’ve ever been in a meaningful relationship, you can probably relate. After all, everyone has their bad days and breaking points. But what’s the best next move for OP?
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
First, let’s consider that OP’s husband is an introvert. His hobbies are likely very important to him, since, according to this article for Introvert, Dear, hobbies are a kind of meditation. They can offer a sense of control amidst the chaos of life, they guarantee alone time, they’re good for your brain, and, well, they’re fun.
In her article for Positive Psychology, Nicole Celestine writes that, once considered a mere toy, LEGO therapy is now also being used by children and adults alike to overcome stress and behavioral issues.
The use of LEGO as a therapeutic intervention was discovered by accident by psychologist Daniel LeGoff in 2004.
LeGoff’s eureka moment arrived when he witnessed two of his socially withdrawn child patients playing together with LEGO in the waiting room. This sparked the idea of using the humble bricks, first invented in 1936, to encourage play therapy, teaching kids with ASD valuable lessons like turn-taking, sharing, conversing, and problem-solving.
Perhaps OP can try smoothing things over by going shopping for an extra-large LEGO set that the couple can work on together, because her words don’t appear to be rebuilding anything.
What would you do if you found yourself in OP’s shoes? Do you think the couple’s relationship is doomed? Let us know your opinion in the comments!
In the comments, readers doubted the woman could ever come back from this and criticized her for belittling her husband so harshly for just wanting to share his life with her
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What do you think ?
Captain Grump 2 months ago
One doesn't normally drop the "questioning the marriage" bomb out of nowhere, even in a flash of anger. And it's pretty hard to get that toothpaste back in the tube once it's out. Assuming OP just said something really stupid in anger, she still needs do a lot of work to figure out why she snapped at her husband who did absolutely nothing wrong but be himself and try to include her. (Maybe he's a bit clueless, and couldn't take polite "no thanks" cues, but even so her reaction was pretty needlessly nuclear.) While she works on herself, she needs to give her husband time to reengage on his own timeline. We don't get to hurt people then demand they accept our apology and move on. We can only show good faith atonement and be patient in the hope that things can be eventually discussed and moved past.
Jay Scales 2 months ago
This is the best analysis I've read on this. WHY was she so horribly angry? You need to deal with feelings/problems long BEFORE you get to the 'nuclear' stage! She's deeply hurt his whole being & whether this marriage can be fixed depends largely on his ability and will to move on. Being uber supportive and kind is her only option. The rest is up to him.
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Enlee Jones 2 months ago
***...and even questioned why I married him*** Now he's questioning why he married you, and you don't get to question why when he gives you the divorce papers.
Mad McQueen 2 months ago
Go buy him something for his collection. And also something that is interesting to you a would be to him to explore as a mutual hobby. Then tell him you are sorry but just want to try again an explore something together to make special that you can share. I'm sure he's hurting not enjoying his interests. You wounded someone that tried so hard to have hobbies an took the joy from him with whatever you said. It might work. You might be single soon. Words spoken cannot be unsaid.
TribbleThinking 2 months ago
I don't understand why you couldn't just have firmly told him that you wanted time to yourself. Those criticisms you threw at him are just beyond. They nullify any nice times he thought you were having together in that room or even within your marriage. Do you even like anything about him other than that he earns decently and is quite acquiescent?
Captain Grump 2 months ago
Some of us were raised in environments where the healthy expression of boundaries was not taught or practiced. Where angry outbursts were considered normal. Where as kids we were generally powerless. It can take a lot of time to overcome that and learn how to be assertive with sensitivity.
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ConstantlyJon 2 months ago
Gotta figure out why she was angry in the first place. WHY did she snap? If she didn't mean any of it, where did it all come from? Figure that out to get to the root issue and discuss that. Regular apologies don't work for this kind of hurt. OP can't "make it up to him." She's gonna have to be honest with herself about why she married him, what she wants from him, and how she wants their relationship to be. Then be vulnerable about that with him in a humble manner instead of in a fight. The way out of the situation is not to ignore what was said, it is to dig deeper into why OP was so hurtful in the first place. THEN rebuild from there.
roddy 2 months ago
He needs to be reassured that you care for him and respect him. That will take some doing, but is not impossible. I hope things work out for you both.
Featherking 2 weeks ago (edited)
It might be impossible, actually. She’d be out of my life the instant her tantrum was over. I’ve no time or patience to educate an entire grown αss human on how to be a functioning adult, and she went SO far overboard that it could not ever - EVER - be fixed. Nope. I don’t really care what kind of money divorce would cost; I wouldn’t keep living with a person who so clearly and aggressively explained how much she actually utterly despised me and everything I am. “I didn’t meeeean it!” Then don’t motherfυcking say it. If you said it, you meant it. Very few people who are not psychopaths make up dislikes on the spot - my αss she “didn’t mean it”. Yes - people mean it, it’s just their filter that gets knocked out when they’re unhinged like this. They mean it. And she’d be history. No regaining trust with me. My autistic bυtt would not ever trust her ever again. So I think it depends a little, is my point. For some people surely, for others - nope.
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Featherking 2 weeks ago
Depends on the person, I’m sure - if it had been me she’d be out on her àss as soon as she stopped screaming. That tantrum would mean an immediate eviction from my life forever. Bye. I’d just not ever be able to trust her ever again, since she obviously married me in spite of despising everything I am. And incapable of reasonable, adult communication too. Nope. But then I’m very autistic indeed, with a proper diagnose and everything. Trust can be an issue for us. Other, more flexible and emotionally intelligent people could maybe find a way, though.
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WonderWoman 2 months ago
I often wonder when people say that another is on the spectrum if they are just making that sh!t up - do you have a diagnosis or is their arrogant ignorant way of saying he has quirks. Because I think for the majority it is a bullsh!t diagnosis and that is degrading and damaging to those on the spectrum, or have adhd, or ocd.
Captain Grump 2 months ago
I'm the father of two autistic kids (young adults now), and I share your frustration. I agree that armchair diagnoses can undermine the reality of those who truly are on the spectrum. But I will say that OP doesn't sound completely out to lunch in her description.
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Anyone-for-tea? 2 months ago
At least she knows she messed up. And to be fair, they’re both very young, we all say stupid things when we haven’t had time to mature and grow as people. Even when we are older, we can still inadvertently hurt the people we love. Although attacks on people’s characters, and blaming anger are a bit much, she does seem genuinely remorseful.
Captain Grump 2 months ago
Well said. My wife and I were married very young, and it took us the better part of 10 years to learn how to be kind to each other. Not that we were raging a-holes, but each of us - in different ways - were far too self-centered, too quick to anger, and too stupid to understand how to be assertive with sensitivity. And OP should at least be commended for taking full ownership of her behaviour - not everyone is mature enough to do that.
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Wood Carver 2 months ago
It might get buried but the line "my anger got the best of me and I couldn't control it in that moment" bothers me. It is no more acceptable to lash out emotionally like this than it is for someone to punch holes in the wall and blame their anger for making them uncontrollable. You're an adult. Manage your emotions or remove yourself from a situation if it is making that difficult. You can't just be like I was angry so it doesn't count.
Captain Grump 2 months ago
100% agree. OP needs to do a lot of work and figure out where that came from. And it can't happen again. But some of us were not raised in environments that taught healthy and respectful ways to express stuff, so I think she deserves a chance to learn and improve.
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JD 2 months ago
Why does she even love this guy? Seriously. She just tore him a new one head to toe, so what is it you want? You just tried to drive him away, now you want him to stay. Which is it?
Surly Scot 2 months ago
"Words once spoken are like eggs once broken". OP isn't fit to be with someone on the spectrum and has poor emotional control, it would be right for him to leave her, I couldn't look the same way at my partner after they sh*t all over everything that makes up my personality and interests.
Hidalgo 2 months ago
Not evidence he’s on the spectrum. Just this evil woman’s opinions
Load More Replies... Tyranamar Suess 2 months ago
Couples therapy plus buy something you can both work on as a hobby.
Captain Grump 2 months ago
OP's post mentioned that they previously enjoyed watching soccer/football matches together. So the good news is they already share a common interest.
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Janelle Collard 2 months ago
You ARE the AH. You knew what he was like all this time + you explode on him? Don't be surprised if he divorces you + finds someone more understanding.
Rathoren 2 months ago
As someone on the spectrum, this broke my heart into pieces because I'm like the husband and have had jabs at things i loved or used to do and could never touch them again after the comments. My partner now is the most incredible person who accepts anything and everything from me and sometimes even encourages my stupid little loves. But im ALWAYS paranoid he will one day say something about how annoying i am or my hobbies are stupid (he wont) but history has made me fearful. This poor guy, he will never be able to be the same, everything (and literally everyone) he loved has become undesirable and hes gonna lose part of himself :'(
Matthew Barabas 2 months ago
OP, you deserve to be alone, after that stunt. you should divorce him so he can find someone who actually likes him.
Pittsburgh rare 2 months ago
"l said things l didn't mean" if you don't mean them don't.say.them. I'm so tired of people who can't control their impulses and expect grace afterwards
Scott Rackley 2 months ago
When emotion overwhelms reason, the truth comes out. I doubt she'll be able to fix this at all. Now they both get to be miserable until one of them has the sense to end it.
Angela C 2 months ago
OP messed up BIG TIME. You should be able to trust your spouse to not hurt you and she betrayed that trust in a major way. If someone I loved talked to me that way... I don't think I could forgive it. What OP's husband does at this point is obviously up to him, but she shouldn't be surprised if he divorces her. She deserves it
Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 2 months ago
Wow.. you're poor hopefully ex husband. I hope he can go back to enjoying his hobbies
Laura A Ivett 3 weeks ago
Wow, what an absolute garbage wife. What on Earth made you so angry you passed to this level? This is all on you, you cant fix what you did but hopefully you will fix you. YOU need therapy. I wouldn't blame him for figuring you, saying sorry us pathetic, fidbyoh honestly think that would make it better? Stop badgering him, give him space, you have done enough damage
Chris Riccardino 3 weeks ago
You've broken his trust and his heart in a very cruel manner. There may be no fixing this.
Frances Wright-Mccalmont 2 weeks ago
Husband is obviously high functioning Asperges, and wife just disrespected the most inner core of his being. And now the husband has noped out in a very profound way. Even if they go to couples counseling, he is still going to be noped out. Typical normie behavior from the wife, inevitable Aspie behavior from the husband. In this day and age, the wife ought to be deeply ashamed. She needs to get counseling and work on herself, and maybe, maybe, her husband will find a way to relax a bit again. She broke that marriage hard.
Soleil SanMao 3 weeks ago
It sounds as if you don't fully understand your husband and his challenges and became overwhelmed. So the first thing to do is to educate yourself on understanding and communicating with your husband. And let him know that. Maybe talk to his parents for some insight. Moving forward get marriage counseling for yourself and then for the both of you. I hope you guys can get back on track. So sorry.
Bryn 2 months ago
It's okay to feel anger & frustration, you can't control that. What you can control is how you react to others & what you do because of those emotions. You could have excused yourself. But you didn't. These are your emotions that you've been hiding, and they finally had a chance to come out.
Paul Collucci 2 months ago
I have to ask, what would you do had this been the other way around? The anger, the degrading comments, the rejection and the most damaging one - questioning why you got married. Lady you are stupid and selfish. He wanted to and enjoyed sharing his little world with you, many guys don't do that, he was open to you, trusted you fully. Good job at destroying trust and love ... What do you do for encores?
Cassie Casey 2 months ago
Sounds like she was frustrated because her attempts to tell him no hadn't worked and he wasn't as social as she is. But instead of constructively venting, she chose the nuclear option. There isn't a way to come back from this without counseling. And even then, he'll always wonder if another nuclear option is coming.
Mushy “MushyWaffle” Waffles 2 months ago
Women bring this upon themselves. Stop trying to change a man into what you want and learn to accept and appreciate what you have. Stop being so narcissistic.
Mushy “MushyWaffle” Waffles 2 months ago
Women bring this upon themselves. Stop trying to make men what you want, and alter your expectations to what you have been dealt and learn to appreciate.
Liz The Biz 2 months ago
I think the question is why did you get so angry with him in the first place? He was just trying to be thoughtful and include you in the things he loves. You and his hobbies were his world and you've rubbished and everything he cares about in one fell swoop. Right now your hurtful words are still ringing in his ears and he will analyse the situation for months. Give him time and maybe suggest some things that you can do together, something that he enjoys, like build a lego set or something.
deletemyaccount 2 months ago
First he isn't slightly on the spectrum he is all the way on the spectrum. Second he would be better off without her. What a C yoU Next Tuesday.
CP 2 months ago
This is something only time can heal if time is allowed. She needs to give him some space, but let him know she was wrong and is there for him when he is ready. Another post saying she should buy him something for his collection is a really good idea. If he doesn't use the room anymore she could maybe go in and do what he was doing to see if he joins. But alas only time will heal these wounds if they even can at all.
BrownEyedPanda 2 months ago
I can't help but wonder if someone, a "friend" or family member, has been putting a bug in her ear. Telling her that she's unhappy, and that she can do better. Or someone is sidling up to her, with promises of endless bliss once she leaves her husband. Just a thought.
Miki 2 months ago
Actually when you mentioned, I think that's totally what happend.
Load More Replies... Captain Grump 2 months ago
One doesn't normally drop the "questioning the marriage" bomb out of nowhere, even in a flash of anger. And it's pretty hard to get that toothpaste back in the tube once it's out. Assuming OP just said something really stupid in anger, she still needs do a lot of work to figure out why she snapped at her husband who did absolutely nothing wrong but be himself and try to include her. (Maybe he's a bit clueless, and couldn't take polite "no thanks" cues, but even so her reaction was pretty needlessly nuclear.) While she works on herself, she needs to give her husband time to reengage on his own timeline. We don't get to hurt people then demand they accept our apology and move on. We can only show good faith atonement and be patient in the hope that things can be eventually discussed and moved past.
Jay Scales 2 months ago
This is the best analysis I've read on this. WHY was she so horribly angry? You need to deal with feelings/problems long BEFORE you get to the 'nuclear' stage! She's deeply hurt his whole being & whether this marriage can be fixed depends largely on his ability and will to move on. Being uber supportive and kind is her only option. The rest is up to him.
Load More Replies... Enlee Jones 2 months ago
***...and even questioned why I married him*** Now he's questioning why he married you, and you don't get to question why when he gives you the divorce papers.
Mad McQueen 2 months ago
Go buy him something for his collection. And also something that is interesting to you a would be to him to explore as a mutual hobby. Then tell him you are sorry but just want to try again an explore something together to make special that you can share. I'm sure he's hurting not enjoying his interests. You wounded someone that tried so hard to have hobbies an took the joy from him with whatever you said. It might work. You might be single soon. Words spoken cannot be unsaid.
TribbleThinking 2 months ago
I don't understand why you couldn't just have firmly told him that you wanted time to yourself. Those criticisms you threw at him are just beyond. They nullify any nice times he thought you were having together in that room or even within your marriage. Do you even like anything about him other than that he earns decently and is quite acquiescent?
Captain Grump 2 months ago
Some of us were raised in environments where the healthy expression of boundaries was not taught or practiced. Where angry outbursts were considered normal. Where as kids we were generally powerless. It can take a lot of time to overcome that and learn how to be assertive with sensitivity.
Load More Replies... ConstantlyJon 2 months ago
Gotta figure out why she was angry in the first place. WHY did she snap? If she didn't mean any of it, where did it all come from? Figure that out to get to the root issue and discuss that. Regular apologies don't work for this kind of hurt. OP can't "make it up to him." She's gonna have to be honest with herself about why she married him, what she wants from him, and how she wants their relationship to be. Then be vulnerable about that with him in a humble manner instead of in a fight. The way out of the situation is not to ignore what was said, it is to dig deeper into why OP was so hurtful in the first place. THEN rebuild from there.
roddy 2 months ago
He needs to be reassured that you care for him and respect him. That will take some doing, but is not impossible. I hope things work out for you both.
Featherking 2 weeks ago (edited)
It might be impossible, actually. She’d be out of my life the instant her tantrum was over. I’ve no time or patience to educate an entire grown αss human on how to be a functioning adult, and she went SO far overboard that it could not ever - EVER - be fixed. Nope. I don’t really care what kind of money divorce would cost; I wouldn’t keep living with a person who so clearly and aggressively explained how much she actually utterly despised me and everything I am. “I didn’t meeeean it!” Then don’t motherfυcking say it. If you said it, you meant it. Very few people who are not psychopaths make up dislikes on the spot - my αss she “didn’t mean it”. Yes - people mean it, it’s just their filter that gets knocked out when they’re unhinged like this. They mean it. And she’d be history. No regaining trust with me. My autistic bυtt would not ever trust her ever again. So I think it depends a little, is my point. For some people surely, for others - nope.
Load More Replies... Featherking 2 weeks ago
Depends on the person, I’m sure - if it had been me she’d be out on her àss as soon as she stopped screaming. That tantrum would mean an immediate eviction from my life forever. Bye. I’d just not ever be able to trust her ever again, since she obviously married me in spite of despising everything I am. And incapable of reasonable, adult communication too. Nope. But then I’m very autistic indeed, with a proper diagnose and everything. Trust can be an issue for us. Other, more flexible and emotionally intelligent people could maybe find a way, though.
Load More Replies... WonderWoman 2 months ago
I often wonder when people say that another is on the spectrum if they are just making that sh!t up - do you have a diagnosis or is their arrogant ignorant way of saying he has quirks. Because I think for the majority it is a bullsh!t diagnosis and that is degrading and damaging to those on the spectrum, or have adhd, or ocd.
Captain Grump 2 months ago
I'm the father of two autistic kids (young adults now), and I share your frustration. I agree that armchair diagnoses can undermine the reality of those who truly are on the spectrum. But I will say that OP doesn't sound completely out to lunch in her description.
Load More Replies... Anyone-for-tea? 2 months ago
At least she knows she messed up. And to be fair, they’re both very young, we all say stupid things when we haven’t had time to mature and grow as people. Even when we are older, we can still inadvertently hurt the people we love. Although attacks on people’s characters, and blaming anger are a bit much, she does seem genuinely remorseful.
Captain Grump 2 months ago
Well said. My wife and I were married very young, and it took us the better part of 10 years to learn how to be kind to each other. Not that we were raging a-holes, but each of us - in different ways - were far too self-centered, too quick to anger, and too stupid to understand how to be assertive with sensitivity. And OP should at least be commended for taking full ownership of her behaviour - not everyone is mature enough to do that.
Load More Replies... Wood Carver 2 months ago
It might get buried but the line "my anger got the best of me and I couldn't control it in that moment" bothers me. It is no more acceptable to lash out emotionally like this than it is for someone to punch holes in the wall and blame their anger for making them uncontrollable. You're an adult. Manage your emotions or remove yourself from a situation if it is making that difficult. You can't just be like I was angry so it doesn't count.
Captain Grump 2 months ago
100% agree. OP needs to do a lot of work and figure out where that came from. And it can't happen again. But some of us were not raised in environments that taught healthy and respectful ways to express stuff, so I think she deserves a chance to learn and improve.
Load More Replies... JD 2 months ago
Why does she even love this guy? Seriously. She just tore him a new one head to toe, so what is it you want? You just tried to drive him away, now you want him to stay. Which is it?
Surly Scot 2 months ago
"Words once spoken are like eggs once broken". OP isn't fit to be with someone on the spectrum and has poor emotional control, it would be right for him to leave her, I couldn't look the same way at my partner after they sh*t all over everything that makes up my personality and interests.
Hidalgo 2 months ago
Not evidence he’s on the spectrum. Just this evil woman’s opinions
Load More Replies... Tyranamar Suess 2 months ago
Couples therapy plus buy something you can both work on as a hobby.
Captain Grump 2 months ago
OP's post mentioned that they previously enjoyed watching soccer/football matches together. So the good news is they already share a common interest.
Load More Replies... Janelle Collard 2 months ago
You ARE the AH. You knew what he was like all this time + you explode on him? Don't be surprised if he divorces you + finds someone more understanding.
Rathoren 2 months ago
As someone on the spectrum, this broke my heart into pieces because I'm like the husband and have had jabs at things i loved or used to do and could never touch them again after the comments. My partner now is the most incredible person who accepts anything and everything from me and sometimes even encourages my stupid little loves. But im ALWAYS paranoid he will one day say something about how annoying i am or my hobbies are stupid (he wont) but history has made me fearful. This poor guy, he will never be able to be the same, everything (and literally everyone) he loved has become undesirable and hes gonna lose part of himself :'(
Matthew Barabas 2 months ago
OP, you deserve to be alone, after that stunt. you should divorce him so he can find someone who actually likes him.
Pittsburgh rare 2 months ago
"l said things l didn't mean" if you don't mean them don't.say.them. I'm so tired of people who can't control their impulses and expect grace afterwards
Scott Rackley 2 months ago
When emotion overwhelms reason, the truth comes out. I doubt she'll be able to fix this at all. Now they both get to be miserable until one of them has the sense to end it.
Angela C 2 months ago
OP messed up BIG TIME. You should be able to trust your spouse to not hurt you and she betrayed that trust in a major way. If someone I loved talked to me that way... I don't think I could forgive it. What OP's husband does at this point is obviously up to him, but she shouldn't be surprised if he divorces her. She deserves it
Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 2 months ago
Wow.. you're poor hopefully ex husband. I hope he can go back to enjoying his hobbies
Laura A Ivett 3 weeks ago
Wow, what an absolute garbage wife. What on Earth made you so angry you passed to this level? This is all on you, you cant fix what you did but hopefully you will fix you. YOU need therapy. I wouldn't blame him for figuring you, saying sorry us pathetic, fidbyoh honestly think that would make it better? Stop badgering him, give him space, you have done enough damage
Chris Riccardino 3 weeks ago
You've broken his trust and his heart in a very cruel manner. There may be no fixing this.
Frances Wright-Mccalmont 2 weeks ago
Husband is obviously high functioning Asperges, and wife just disrespected the most inner core of his being. And now the husband has noped out in a very profound way. Even if they go to couples counseling, he is still going to be noped out. Typical normie behavior from the wife, inevitable Aspie behavior from the husband. In this day and age, the wife ought to be deeply ashamed. She needs to get counseling and work on herself, and maybe, maybe, her husband will find a way to relax a bit again. She broke that marriage hard.
Soleil SanMao 3 weeks ago
It sounds as if you don't fully understand your husband and his challenges and became overwhelmed. So the first thing to do is to educate yourself on understanding and communicating with your husband. And let him know that. Maybe talk to his parents for some insight. Moving forward get marriage counseling for yourself and then for the both of you. I hope you guys can get back on track. So sorry.
Bryn 2 months ago
It's okay to feel anger & frustration, you can't control that. What you can control is how you react to others & what you do because of those emotions. You could have excused yourself. But you didn't. These are your emotions that you've been hiding, and they finally had a chance to come out.
Paul Collucci 2 months ago
I have to ask, what would you do had this been the other way around? The anger, the degrading comments, the rejection and the most damaging one - questioning why you got married. Lady you are stupid and selfish. He wanted to and enjoyed sharing his little world with you, many guys don't do that, he was open to you, trusted you fully. Good job at destroying trust and love ... What do you do for encores?
Cassie Casey 2 months ago
Sounds like she was frustrated because her attempts to tell him no hadn't worked and he wasn't as social as she is. But instead of constructively venting, she chose the nuclear option. There isn't a way to come back from this without counseling. And even then, he'll always wonder if another nuclear option is coming.
Mushy “MushyWaffle” Waffles 2 months ago
Women bring this upon themselves. Stop trying to change a man into what you want and learn to accept and appreciate what you have. Stop being so narcissistic.
Mushy “MushyWaffle” Waffles 2 months ago
Women bring this upon themselves. Stop trying to make men what you want, and alter your expectations to what you have been dealt and learn to appreciate.
Liz The Biz 2 months ago
I think the question is why did you get so angry with him in the first place? He was just trying to be thoughtful and include you in the things he loves. You and his hobbies were his world and you've rubbished and everything he cares about in one fell swoop. Right now your hurtful words are still ringing in his ears and he will analyse the situation for months. Give him time and maybe suggest some things that you can do together, something that he enjoys, like build a lego set or something.
deletemyaccount 2 months ago
First he isn't slightly on the spectrum he is all the way on the spectrum. Second he would be better off without her. What a C yoU Next Tuesday.
CP 2 months ago
This is something only time can heal if time is allowed. She needs to give him some space, but let him know she was wrong and is there for him when he is ready. Another post saying she should buy him something for his collection is a really good idea. If he doesn't use the room anymore she could maybe go in and do what he was doing to see if he joins. But alas only time will heal these wounds if they even can at all.
BrownEyedPanda 2 months ago
I can't help but wonder if someone, a "friend" or family member, has been putting a bug in her ear. Telling her that she's unhappy, and that she can do better. Or someone is sidling up to her, with promises of endless bliss once she leaves her husband. Just a thought.
Miki 2 months ago
Actually when you mentioned, I think that's totally what happend.
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