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Anxious Mom Worries If It’s OK To Send 16YOs To US From UK On Their Own, Seeks Advice Online
We all know the good old tale about how beneficial travel is. And it is, we don’t argue with that fact. At the same time, that doesn’t mean that it can’t make people anxious.
Like this mom, who got a proposition to let her 16-year-old twins go on a flight overseas alone. It wouldn’t be for no reason; they would be meeting their father at the other end. Yet, the woman can’t help but feel anxious about letting her teenagers fly alone, no matter how well-planned everything is.
More info: Mumsnet
RELATED:
Should a parent allow teenagers to fly overseas alone?
Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)
A woman’s ex-husband offered to have their two children fly to him in the United States from the United Kingdom
Image credits: Maxwell Pels (not the actual photo)
The kids are 16-year-old twins, so according to airline rules, it’s legal to let them travel alone
Image credits: benzoix (not the actual photo)
But the woman had a hard time imagining her kids going on such an adventure without her
Image credits: yanalya (not the actual photo)
She was worried that they wouldn’t be able to handle something that might come up, for example during the airport check-in process
Image credits: fabrikasimf (not the actual photo)
Her ex-husband told her she was limiting her kids’ growth, but it didn’t help her to shake off her fears
Image credits: Dreamholidaynot
She asked online whether not letting her children on this flight would make her unreasonable
This story’s protagonist is a woman who once was married to a man from the United States. They had kids together who recently turned 16. Unfortunately, the couple is no longer together. Now, the man lives in his home country, while the woman and their twins live in the United Kingdom.
The main issue of this story arose when the OP’s ex-husband decided that he wanted to celebrate his birthday with his kids. To be more specific, he wants the twins to come to the US for about 8 days. He even already has a whole itinerary for each day. But here’s the problem: The man wants the 16-year-olds to travel alone from London to JFK – the airport in New York.
The age of a child that can fly alone depends on the airline. But generally, with some airlines, kids between the ages of 5 and 12 can be assigned a chaperone if the company provides such a service, or they can fly with a responsible adult. Then, minors of 16 years old or older usually can fly alone.
So, technically, there isn’t an issue with the twins flying overseas alone. Well, with the airline. There’s an issue with their mother. She doesn’t want to let them go on such a difficult trip by themselves. After all, the flight overseas isn’t short, and there’s also the process of getting through the airport. She thinks it might be too stressful of an activity for them or that they won’t be able to deal with it.
At the same time, she worries about ruining their lives with her anxiety. In the updates provided in the comments, she mentioned that she hates flying, despite doing it pretty often. A fear of flying is one of the most common forms of travel anxiety. This agitation can be triggered by things like air turbulence, uneasy takeoffs, fear of crashing, and many others.
So, it’s normal for a mom to worry that she’s ruining her kids’ lives because she struggles with something mentally. It is proven that traveling while being young has many benefits. It helps a person to broaden their worldview and strengthen their intercultural skills. It also boosts confidence and drives personal growth.
Image credits: Ross Parmly (not the actual photo)
In fact, a best friend of one of the twins has traveled with another friend alone. So, it isn’t an unprecedented experience in the OP’s environment. Yet, she just can’t imagine letting her kids do that.
Her ex-husband feels the opposite. He even said that she is ‘restricting their growth.’ Back in the day, he traveled a lot himself and didn’t see this as an overly scary thing. So, the woman came onto the Mumsnet forum to ask whether it’s unreasonable not to let her kids travel alone.
There, people unanimously told her to let them go. As one person pointed out, allowing two 16-year-olds, who have traveled before, to take a direct flight where they’ll be met by their dad on the other side is completely OK. After all, the twins want to do that, and they trust themselves that they’ll be able to do it.
The response was so united that the OP addressed it herself in the comments. She pointed out that many parents saying the same thing likely can’t be wrong, which makes her wrong here. Well, at least she can admit she isn’t right. Yet, knowing her state with anxiety, it is likely not going to calm her down fully. After all, anxiety’s definition itself says that it is an excessive type of worrying.
But maybe this will work for her as a motivation to work on her travel-related fears. It’s starting to affect her life, and even more, her relationships. If she decides to let her sons on this adventure, perhaps, in a way, it’ll be like a step of worrying about it less in the future. After all, her kids don’t seem like the type who will give up traveling after turning 18.
Would you let your 16-year-old kids on an overseas flight alone? Share with us in the comments!
And people online told her that it did and encouraged the woman to overcome her fear and let the twins go
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What do you think ?
Sunny Day 4 months ago
It's a non-stop flight. Mom can escort them all the way to the gate and watch them board. Dad can meet them at the NY gate and watch them deplane. Barring Jodie Foster being a passenger, there is no way a kid could disappear en route. 16 is plenty old enough to fly this without a parent.
Did I say that out loud? (he/him)cis/het 4 months ago
*Somewhere, JodieFoster innocently books a London to JFK flight*
Load More Replies...
Traveling Lady Railfan 4 months ago
Sorry, "13 hour flight from London to New york?" Is she counting there and back? It's only like six and a half hours... You can't protect your kids against everything, but they're 16, they're together, they've flown before, it's a Non-Stop flight, you're dropping them off at one end, the father's picking them up at the other end, seriously, aside from an inflight disaster which there's nothing that anyone can do anything about, what on Earth do you think is going to happen? Let them go and give them an amazing experience. I flew all by myself from Canada to Europe to visit family members when I was 16. It was the most grown up thing I'd ever done at that point, and made me feel a lot more independent afterwards. I mean, I'd navigated through an airport, found my seat, found my luggage, arrived in a country in which everyone spoke and everything was written in a language I didn't know but I still managed to find the family that was picking me up. It was a great experience.
Susan Schlee 4 months ago
Unless they are just completely immature for their age, I agree there shouldn't be a problem. Besides, what's mom going to do other than drop them off, fly the plane? Lol
Load More Replies...
Ryan-James O'Driscoll 4 months ago
I do get the anxiety, but they are 16. At what age would that anxiety go away? Many 18 year olds go gallivanting the world on their own or with friends. This is a one way flight to New York where they will be met by a parent. There is very little that could go wrong that an adult could deal with that a 16 year old couldn't. Especially 16 year olds that are used to travelling and sensible. It's the lack of control that's scary. And I am not suggesting anything problematic there. It's a normal feeling for parents when their children grow older and start to do things they cannot handle for them. Planning with them would do a lot to alleviate those concerns while arming them for an unexpected problem.
Sunny Day 4 months ago
It's a non-stop flight. Mom can escort them all the way to the gate and watch them board. Dad can meet them at the NY gate and watch them deplane. Barring Jodie Foster being a passenger, there is no way a kid could disappear en route. 16 is plenty old enough to fly this without a parent.
Did I say that out loud? (he/him)cis/het 4 months ago
*Somewhere, JodieFoster innocently books a London to JFK flight*
Load More Replies... Traveling Lady Railfan 4 months ago
Sorry, "13 hour flight from London to New york?" Is she counting there and back? It's only like six and a half hours... You can't protect your kids against everything, but they're 16, they're together, they've flown before, it's a Non-Stop flight, you're dropping them off at one end, the father's picking them up at the other end, seriously, aside from an inflight disaster which there's nothing that anyone can do anything about, what on Earth do you think is going to happen? Let them go and give them an amazing experience. I flew all by myself from Canada to Europe to visit family members when I was 16. It was the most grown up thing I'd ever done at that point, and made me feel a lot more independent afterwards. I mean, I'd navigated through an airport, found my seat, found my luggage, arrived in a country in which everyone spoke and everything was written in a language I didn't know but I still managed to find the family that was picking me up. It was a great experience.
Susan Schlee 4 months ago
Unless they are just completely immature for their age, I agree there shouldn't be a problem. Besides, what's mom going to do other than drop them off, fly the plane? Lol
Load More Replies... Ryan-James O'Driscoll 4 months ago
I do get the anxiety, but they are 16. At what age would that anxiety go away? Many 18 year olds go gallivanting the world on their own or with friends. This is a one way flight to New York where they will be met by a parent. There is very little that could go wrong that an adult could deal with that a 16 year old couldn't. Especially 16 year olds that are used to travelling and sensible. It's the lack of control that's scary. And I am not suggesting anything problematic there. It's a normal feeling for parents when their children grow older and start to do things they cannot handle for them. Planning with them would do a lot to alleviate those concerns while arming them for an unexpected problem.
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