29YO Just Assumes Her 19YO Sis Is A Pro-Bono Babysitter, Shocked To Receive A Flat-Out Refusal
It’s commonly agreed upon that family helps family, but there’s got to be some reasonable limits to these relationships, surely? After all, you can’t be expected to help out everyone in your family all the time – you won’t end up with any time for yourself and you’ll probably be exhausted.
For one woman, she was shocked after her sister expected her to ditch her plans for Halloween so she could take her niece trick or treating instead. Tired of feeling like a built-in babysitter, the woman refused and told her sister to make another plan, leading to family drama.
More info: Reddit
You’re pretty much obligated to go the extra mile for family, but this teen’s sister expects a bit too much from her
Image credits: Charles Parker / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The teen had long standing plans with her friends for Halloween, but her sister demanded she take her niece trick or treating instead
Image credits: Yaroslav Shuraev / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The teen refused, and told her sister to figure something out because she wasn’t available this time
Image credits: Liza Summer / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Fuming, her sister told her she was being selfish and that the teen’s niece would be heartbroken
Image credits: Embarrassed-Dot6610
Refusing to budge, the teen then took to the web to ask if she was being the jerk in the situation
OP begins her story by telling the community that she feels that she might be the jerk but needs some outside perspective because her family is blowing up about the situation.
She goes on to explain that her older sister has a 6-year-old daughter, Lily, and that, while she adores her, her sister has a habit of dumping the kid on her last-minute whenever she needs a break.
OP adds that her sister told her she couldn’t take Emily trick or treating this year because she and her boyfriend were attending an adult Halloween party. Her sister just assumed she’d be able to take over for her, but OP had already made prior arrangements with her friends, so she told her sister she’d need to make another plan.
Her sister promptly lost it, calling OP selfish and telling her that Lily would be heartbroken. OP’s mom then backed her sister up, telling her she had to “step up as an aunt”. OP tried explaining to them that she wasn’t a babysitting service, but her words fell on deaf ears. Now her whole family is treating her like some kind of monster for putting her needs first.
OP goes on to say that, while she feels a bit guilty because Lily was looking forward to the trick or treating, she doesn’t think it’s fair that she’s expected to drop everything every time her sister wants a break.
In an update to her original post, OP says she’s told her sister that it’s not right that she’s always expected to change her plans and be an automatic babysitter. She adds that the family had a sit-down about it, but things devolved into a huge argument.
OP concludes by thanking the Reddit community for opening her eyes to the fact that she was being pushed around and taken advantage of and promises another update.
It’s clear from OP’s post that her sister is highly entitled, bordering on toxic. If you’ve ever dealt with an entitled person, you’ll probably know just how infuriating it can be. So what’s the best way to deal with them, family or not? We went looking for answers.
Image credits: Timur Weber / Pexels (not the actual photo)
In her article for VeryWellMind, Arlin Cuncic writes that demanding special treatment, expecting other people to do things for them, not showing gratitude, and a need for constant admiration are a few characteristics of people with a sense of entitlement.
Cuncic goes on to list warning signs of a sense of entitlement. Some of these include having high demands, always prioritizing their own needs, being melodramatic, being entitled about money, material goods, and people, and adopting a victim mentality.
In her article for HubPages, Carola Finch puts forward a few tips on how best to deal with an entitled person. For starters, recognize the signs of entitled thinking, deescalate confrontations, and do not allow yourself to be manipulated into giving in to their demands. Next up, set boundaries and allow the entitled to suffer the consequences of their actions.
In his article for WebMD, Dan Brennan writes that, when you believe you’re entitled to better treatment than others or that the rules don’t apply to you, you’re more likely to suffer in the long term when it comes to conflict in relationships and career, unhappiness, disappointment, and even depression.
It seems that OP putting her foot down upset the status quo that she’d always be available to babysit at the drop of a hat. If she wasn’t so self-involved and had a bit of respect for OP’s time, the sister could have changed her plans or roped the grandma into trick or treating with the niece.
What would you do if you were in OP’s shoes? Does her family have a case, or should she use this as an opportunity to end the cycle of last-minute babysitting? Let us know your opinion in the comments!
In the comments, readers swiftly concluded that the teen aunt wasn’t being a jerk, with one even adding that parenting doesn’t pause for Halloween
Poll Question
Thanks! Check out the results:
I love the YTA who cares about your plans. But... why aren't the parents parenting? Why does OP have to cancel her plans? They get to go out? Would it be different if OP was working? Living at home does not make you a built in babysitter. Tired of the toxic bs of demanding.
F**k off to all the YTAs brigade! Nothing but trolls! Btw it wouldn't be an hour because they're going to a party ffs. YTAs fools are the same type of people who put on their families and make them feel bad when she already had plans herself. She's 19 and is entitled to enjoy her life. The sister made a choice to have children and you don't get to party when you're a parent! Also Halloween is about everyone (child/adult) enjoying it. This sister is talking advantage and then asks the family to message mean stuff when she's done nothing wrong!! DONT HAVE KIDS IF YOU WANT THIS SORT OF LIFESTYLE fools
The Mother and Sister commented on the post.
Load More Replies...That second-last YTA is laughably unhinged. Aunts do not have to make sacrifices for nieces and nephews. The only people who *have to* make sacrifices are the parents. Aunts and Uncles can *do favours* by taking care of the kids. That comment also thinks OP is a bad aunt (who will continue to be bad) because she refused to babysit at the last moment once. ONCE.
"I don't think it was me laying on my back getting raw dogged. So I don't think it's my problem."
Load More Replies...I love the YTA who cares about your plans. But... why aren't the parents parenting? Why does OP have to cancel her plans? They get to go out? Would it be different if OP was working? Living at home does not make you a built in babysitter. Tired of the toxic bs of demanding.
F**k off to all the YTAs brigade! Nothing but trolls! Btw it wouldn't be an hour because they're going to a party ffs. YTAs fools are the same type of people who put on their families and make them feel bad when she already had plans herself. She's 19 and is entitled to enjoy her life. The sister made a choice to have children and you don't get to party when you're a parent! Also Halloween is about everyone (child/adult) enjoying it. This sister is talking advantage and then asks the family to message mean stuff when she's done nothing wrong!! DONT HAVE KIDS IF YOU WANT THIS SORT OF LIFESTYLE fools
The Mother and Sister commented on the post.
Load More Replies...That second-last YTA is laughably unhinged. Aunts do not have to make sacrifices for nieces and nephews. The only people who *have to* make sacrifices are the parents. Aunts and Uncles can *do favours* by taking care of the kids. That comment also thinks OP is a bad aunt (who will continue to be bad) because she refused to babysit at the last moment once. ONCE.
"I don't think it was me laying on my back getting raw dogged. So I don't think it's my problem."
Load More Replies...
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