There’s no better fitting description of matrimony than Shakespeare’s “marriage is a leap of faith.” Knowing how most romantic unions end, it’s reassuring to see that people still sign up for the bumpy journey of shared mortgages, kids, health problems and cozy evenings. Of course, all done with the utmost trust in your significant other — no matter how bizarre or suspicious some of their ideas might be.

As u/ThrowRAissuesRA shares in her story, their marriage was rock solid until the moment her husband demanded to play a very unusual game involving a blindfold, a pen and some mysterious papers. For all the blindfolded author knew, she could be signing up for some funny business.

Feeling like her own husband was trying to gaslight her for not being able to trust him without any second thoughts, the author turned to the trusted ‘Am I The [Jerk]‘ community to see what people would have done in her place.

Marriage requires a leap of faith and complete trust no matter how your paths may have crossed

Image credits: Tima (not that actual photo)

Trust, like happiness, in our relationship isn’t set in stone. Which, in a way, helps to explain why a worrying 10% of married couples don’t trust their partners, giving “’till death do us part” a worrying ring to it.

Hoping to learn more about the role that trust and honesty plays in the happily ever after, Bored Panda reached out to Dr. Barton Goldsmith, an award-winning psychotherapist and writer based in sunny Los Angeles. “Most relationships go through a period of trust issues,” he told us. Although trust has many definitions — “a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something” (Oxford dictionary) or “feeling safe when vulnerable” — we all know when it’s lost. “It’s a feeling inside of you that makes you sick to your stomach and it makes you underperform.”

Barton also says that the way we trust (or, God help us, don’t trust) our partners directly correlates to surrounding relationships with friends and family. “If you don’t fully trust your relationship, which is your primary connection to other human beings — it’s going to be really difficult to trust other people,” Goldsmith explained. “Likewise, it’s very important to know that your partner is the one consistent being on the planet rooting and standing up for you.”

But when your partner selfishly tries to pressure you into doing things you don’t like, rising suspicion seems the only fitting response

Still, however stable and healthy your marriage is, chances are that you’ll have to ride out a couple of ugly rough patches in your shared journey. When we asked Dr. Barton about the one-time trust ‘hiccups’ — like the one the author of the story has experienced, and common catalyst for marital problems — he suggests a sincere confession. “You tell the whole story, and then you make an appointment with a therapist,” he advised.

Being in the industry for almost 40 years, Barton knows very well how long it takes to heal the wounds left by a partner’s lack of honesty. “The length of this journey is based on how much energy and sincerity a person is willing to put into it,” he said. Of course, lack of trust and being cheated by your loved one are two different extremes. But talking about the latter process, Barton says it can take up to two years of therapy to fully recover from damage.

A surprising 41% of American adults have admitted to hiding some ‘dirty laundry’ from their spouses (whereas, financial infidelity is the most common thing, studies have shown). So when we asked Barton if there are exceptions to things you can and should be completely honest with your significant other, he said the following: “If you trust someone more than you trust your partner, you belong in therapy. Otherwise, knowing that you can talk to someone about anything and they’re not going to come back and point their finger at you, or call you an idiot — that’s a real union. That’s marriage.”

People were unanimous in saying that no reasonable partner would do such things

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