As per Yoda - Presumptuous gold digger the stepsister is. Heirloom gifts should be freely given. The Keeper of the heirloom decides. Leave the elderly gentleman alone. Shame on you. It says a lot about a person who would happily prance around with the ring after pressuring an elderly person to part with it. Each flash of it on her finger would just shout "I'm filthy and unprincipled".

When my mom went back to school, she took some genealogy courses. She ended up tracing the family tree (Dad's side, too), back for a few hundred years. Over the years, Mom took the basic genealogy and personalized it for everyone in the family. One year for Christmas, she gave everyone their personal genealogy, made in a folder with stories and pictures. My dad's family had a family Bible, which came with the branch of his family that emigrated to the U.S. Grandpa had it, and when he died, I found it and kept it in my parents' house. The same year she gave the genealogies, Mom gave that Bible to my oldest male cousin with children, to pass on our heritage for the next generation. Why my cousin? Because his wife took his name, the family name. Could Mom have given it to his older sister, who also had kids? Yes, but his sister took her husband's name. It was about the name. I get this grandpa. It's about the genes. It's the genes tying Grandpa's lost family and his granddaughter. It's not meant as a brush-off to the step, or that he doesn't love her. She just doesn't have the genes.

coming from a family of holocaust survivors, I understand the mentality of the grandfather when it comes to the few precious family things that survived.

Today, most family are "mixed". There is nothing wrong with that. Sometimes the strongest family bonds are not blood related. However, older traditions pay tribute to blood ties. Reading between the lines, I am assuming that the lost family members fell victim to the Holocaust. It gives this situation greater meaning. In keeping with the old ways, the diamond should be given the oldest female of that generation. I know that diamonds are not cheap. Perhaps another stone might be found and a new family tradition can begin. Besides, Grandpa has had this plan to honor his loved ones for many years. Let him follow his heart and make peace with the past.

King Solomon's wisdom is not needed here. The young Lady has spoken wisely. The Diamond is his only Family Stone for all he lost. He can not and will not be pushed around by the greed , stupidity and frankly the G.D. audacity to even ask.! How dare they even suppose,? And than to pressure the one who it is originally intended for? The Father is a weakling of a man. The two Step Sisters are just greedy dogs plain out. I hope neither GrandPa nor the real Granddaughter get pushed into those thieving dogs will. The very thought of it! What colossal gall they have!

Maybe because I am older like this Grandpa but I understand his feelings. I have stepsiblings who I love dearly and am close to but would not pass down family heirlooms to them, even after 50 plus years together. They are my family items. They have their own family items which I would never covet. I'll bet Laura and Katie haven't asked for that ugly cookie jar that belonged to old aunt Betty. It's not about family or being accepted as family, it's about the ring. The beautiful old ring.

The diamond is yours and your gift to ensure your grandfather has his last wishes. No matter what anyone else thinks. It will bring your grandparents joy and they aren't young. It's not kindness here it's following tradition and a heartfelt meaning. Just get guilted into doing something you'll regret. This isn't the place to compromise.

It comes down to whatever Grandpa wants to do regardless of past or present history. The diamond is a treasured heirloom and it's his to do what he feels he needs to do to keep it in his bloodline. What happens to it if the step sister/stepdaughter gets a divorce and somewhere along the way it is lost to the family? S**t happens people! Stop gaslighting him and leave him alone! Let the perspective bride's fiance buy her a ring, which will someday become her own family heirloom for crying out loud!

The ring belonged to the OPs great grandmother, who never knew Katie. Granted, she never knew OP, either, but there is the actual lineage aspect to consider here; no one knows all their ancestors, yet we have things passed to us simply because of our birth into a family. The OPs father has accepted his stepdaughters as his own, equal in every way, and that's fine. The OP doesn't seem to have a problem with it, either; the only problem she mentions is what Katie's doing now. But dad needs to understand that he doesn't get to make this decision for his father, or anyone else. I do think that the grandfather's words and probably tone were unnecessary when Katie asked him. All he needed to say was "no". Unless there was more to that conversation that we don't know about, he was unnecessarily rude and hurtful. He can't give it to Katie, he's already promised it to the OP. Her choice decline it for her engagement ring does not equate to refusing it forever.

Definitely NTA. It's a sad thing yes, that if you are not blood it doesn't get you on the family tree. Descendancy, and Family, are two different states of being. Not necessarily the same.

I sadly went through something relayed to this a few years ago. My grandmother passed away in 2022 three days before Christmas. My mother was adopted at 6 weeks old. The ring was passed down a long time and is maybe 130 years old (estimated) people begged my grandmother for it they wanted it they were her neices or great neices. Who cared that I was her only granddaughter. She told all the greedy turds that it was rightfully going to her own only granddaughter. Now their all mad I put it in a safe because I'm terrible with jewelry. Now im the only one with a great grandchild (she did meet him and was absolutely in love with him.) And it will remain there until he is old enough and aware enough of its history and then will be his. Making it a myth to the rest lol.

Totally understandable. A family heirloom should stay 'in' the family. ie with blood related family. Step children should not get family heirlooms. They don't have the same historic or emotional connection.

Very strange by my cultural standards. The engagement ring represents the man’s initial promise and commitment and should be gotten by him through purchase or family. What is the meaning of an engagement ring provided by someone else???

it's not her decision to make - it's the grandfather's. The step daughter has no say, whatsoever.

Grandpa's rock, Grandpa's rules. Periodt.

It's the grandfather's ring. He can do with it what he wants. They don't have to like his decision, but they should respect his wishes. Period. Sorry they are butt hurt about it. But he has emotional reasons that should be respected.

NTA, and Ill something that may not have been considered. Being this diamond is all he has left, and there is a full tragic story behind it, keeping it as a blood heirloom also means the story will pass down with it; a story non-blood family is unlikely to care about.

Ok hot take here, but OP is the AH for not getting it set in her ring to begin with. This stone obviously means a great deal to the family history but it doesn't fit her style? She should be honored to get to wear it, styles fluctuate and it's a fricking diamond! How bad could it be

With the necklace, the granddaughter can pass it on to her daughter

Strange your Dad couldn't ask his OWN Dad to give his stepdaughter the ring. That's interesting.

What happens is OP has a daughter that gets married, and loves the style of the diamond? I almost think that if the gem means so much to the grandfather, he should be buried with it.

Nope, don't belive this.