Most of us spend the entire year looking forward to an upcoming vacation. Whether you’re in desperate need of a break from work or school, there’s nothing better than finally being able to relax without responsibilities and spend some quality time with loved ones. 

But the entire purpose of going on a trip can quickly be ruined if there’s someone in attendance who won’t let you experience peace. Below, you’ll find a story that a concerned father recently posted on Reddit, explaining why he is refusing to go on an upcoming family trip if his daughter’s bully will be in attendance. Keep reading to find all of the details, as well as a conversation with the father who shared this post. 

This man goes on an annual vacation with his family every December

Image credits: Oleksandr P/Pexels (not the actual photo)

But when he found out that his daughter’s bully was invited, he decided that the two of them would be skipping this year

Image credits: Keira Burton/Pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels (not the actual photo)

Natural-Mountain-641

“I have a lot more people in my corner than I initially thought”

To find out more about this situation, we got in touch with the father who made this post, Reddit user Natural-Mountain-641. He was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and share what’s happened since he reached out for advice online.

“I wouldn’t exactly say there’s a full update, and I have not spoken to my sister since this conversation happened,” he revealed. “Her husband, who has been in my life for 25 or so years and I truly consider a brother, sent me a message that said that they’re figuring something out and left it at that. He always doted on my daughter, and he and I have had extensive conversations about disliking Jeff, so I was finding it hard to believe that he just went along with this with no complaints.”

We also wanted to know if the dad was still feeling pressure to attend the trip. “My entire family wants me to go, though some are more willing to disinvite Jeff than others,” he shared. “I do want to make it clear; everyone found out about Jeff going when I put in the group chat that I would no longer attend because of his presence. Most of my family was just concerned with me still attending, at first, and it wasn’t until the initial conversation cooled down that people started making their opinions known.”

“My mother and my sister in law are the only people who think that we should come without complaint to keep the peace, and are still trying to convince me to do so,” the dad continued. “My father, brother, and my other sister and her husband have made it abundantly clear that they think it’s abhorrent that anyone would consider bringing Jeff along, for no other reason than the issues my daughter has been having with him. I have a lot more people in my corner than I initially thought.”

Next, we were curious what Emily’s cousin thinks of Jeff’s behavior. “It’s really difficult to tell,” the father noted. “He speaks out against it, just not hard. It’s usually something like ‘come on bro, that’s not cool’ or ‘dude chill’ or some other casual way to mildly condemn him.”

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“He and Emily are close in age and grew up like siblings, and they generally treat each other as such,” the author added. “He knows how Jeff acts, and he’s apologized to Emily on his behalf, though it was sort of a half-[hearted] apology. He has known Jeff since they were probably 8 or so, and the bullying didn’t start until a year and a half ago.”

“I’m really thankful for the different perspectives I received”

As far as what he thought of the replies to his post, the father said that they were surprising. “Most of them were helpful, giving me ideas that I hadn’t thought of or helping me realizing certain things,” he shared. “I’m really thankful for the different perspectives I received when I was so high-strung that I could barely think.”

“When I made this post, I really thought I was taking away from a kid in a terrible circumstance just to protect my daughter from something that my sister had told me was ‘made up danger,’ that Jeff wouldn’t act that way in front of us. I realized pretty soon after that that wasn’t the case,” the dad added.

But, unfortunately, not all of the comments were kind. “There was one in particular that said something like, ‘What kind of father even needs to ask? You’re a failure.’ And that really got to me,” the author shared. “Another comment I got a lot was about involving a lawyer or the police. I stopped replying to these comments because I wasn’t sure what I was able to divulge given that I have reached out to a lawyer (who was called a dud in another comment because I mentioned he was getting his ducks in a row) and did not want to mess anything up there.”

The father noted that he also tried going to the police, but they were “less than helpful.”

“I keep seeing comments that say I haven’t done enough at the school, as if they can base that on my Reddit post where I purposely withheld information so that it wasn’t possible for anyone to tell it was me,” the father continued. “It was a bit frustrating to feel like I couldn’t defend myself because I wanted to keep some semblance of privacy.”

“Also, on a less serious note, I was surprised by the amount of people that thought this was AI. Their reasoning was that I was getting constant messages and my family was split, which is so cliché, and that I used too many big words,” the dad added. “Also, somebody said ‘disinvite‘ wasn’t a word and that uninvite was the word I should have used. It threw me off.”

It’s a parent’s job to ensure that their children feel safe

It’s no secret that bullying is a prevalent issue in schools today. According to the National Center for Educational Statistics, over 20% of kids report being bullied in school, and 41% of those students believe that being targeted by bullies was not a one-time thing.

While bullying primarily does occur in school hallways, classrooms, cafeterias and outside on school grounds, that doesn’t mean that kids are immune to it everywhere else. And it’s perfectly reasonable for a victim of bullying to be concerned about their bully targeting them anywhere, including on a family vacation.

Some people might assume that bullying is a rite of passage or builds character, but that’s simply not the case. It can be traumatic and cause lifelong damage to a person’s mental health. According to McLean Hospital, bullying often causes a loss of self-confidence, increased self-criticism and increased self-isolation.

The National Child Traumatic Stress Network also notes on their site that victims of bullies often experience stress, anxiety and depression, anger or frustration, feelings of rejection, changes in sleeping or eating patterns, health complaints and poor relational skills. Their academic performance might also start to suffer, and they may even consider hurting themselves or ending their own life.

Bullying is something that should always be taken seriously, and it’s a parent’s responsibility to ensure that their child is protected and safe. In fact, feeling safe and secure is extremely important for children and teens. 

Psychotherapist Tina Payne Bryson, PhD, told Fatherly that some of the best ways to ensure that your kids feel safe is to pay plenty of attention to them. Listen to what they have to say and take their concerns seriously. 

Dr. Bryson also recommends that parents look at what is behind their child’s behavior, what’s going on inside the kid’s mind. And, of course, if your child expresses that they have been bullied or feel unsafe around a particular person, it’s probably a good idea to keep them away from that person at all times.

We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this father made the right choice by pulling out of his family’s vacation? Feel free to weigh in. Then, if you’d like to check out another Bored Panda article discussing bully drama, we recommend reading this one next! 

Many readers left supportive comments for the father, and he joined in on the conversation

However, some thought that the father should have done more to stand up for his daughter

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