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Guy Decides Not To Give Up A Kidney For Best Friend’s Sister As She Intentionally Disrespects Him
Having a best friend is a big privilege and responsibility. It’s a unique bond that binds you ethically to do your best to care for them and vice versa. But what about your best friend’s family? Are their interests your responsibility too?
Today’s story covers a sensitive and complex topic – organ donation. A man was asked to donate his kidney to his best friend’s sister, but he didn’t want to go under the knife, especially not for her. Therefore, he reached out for advice online.
More Info: Reddit
RELATED:
Being best friends with someone is great, but sometimes you can run into challenging ethical decisions
Image credits: DC Studio (not the actual photo)
A man recently approached Reddit for advice, as he was asked by his friend to donate his kidney to his sister
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
They have known each other for 15 years, and the man knew the sister for the same time too, however she was never friendly to him
Image credits: Robina Weermeijer (not the actual photo)
Instead, she was always quite cold and rude to him, even when she matured into adulthood
Image credits: FingerVonBang
Therefore, the man didn’t feel like he wanted to donate his kidney to the sister but didn’t know how to tell his friend without coming across as insensitive
Recently, a man approached Reddit with a very serious question – how should one communicate not wanting to donate his kidney without coming across as insensitive?
The OP (Original Poster) has known his best friend for over 15 years and his sister for just as long. However, the sister has always been rude to the OP since she was a kid, and even when she matured into adulthood.
The man didn’t really care about her rudeness though, as she was just a kid, although it’s a bit weird that she continued her behavior into adulthood. He also specified that he was never rude to her or any of the family members.
He loves his best friend and his sister, but her treating him like a stranger doesn’t sit right. Even though the OP doesn’t even have any animosity towards the woman, donating his kidney to her just isn’t something he wants to do.
Having all of this context in mind, it’s not weird that he doesn’t want to go under the knife. The man is filled with doubts, after all, it’s a lifelong commitment and he isn’t even sure if the woman would be grateful for it.
Redditors say that the OP would be disqualified from the operation anyway as the medical team needs to make sure there’s consent. If there’s hesitation, the donor does not qualify for the procedure.
Image credits: Mike Greer (not the actual photo)
Others advise that he can go to the test if he’s a fit donor, and then confidentially tell the doctors that he doesn’t want to do this, and is just being pestered. Although this is a more convenient way if the man wants to avoid confrontation, it would mean that he’s lying to his best friend.
However, the man later added in the comments that he told his friend the truth. The OP’s stance on this wasn’t a last minute decision as he had been asked about it over the years. The friend took it well and even joked with him, but the OP still felt awful.
The man even regretted that he told him the truth and that he should’ve lied for their friendship’s sake. But it would’ve been terrible to live in a lie. Fortunately, another friend stepped in and offered to donate his kidney to the sister. It’s good that this story worked out for the best for all parties included, but we mustn’t forget that giving up a part of your body for someone is never an easy or trivial choice to make.
As per statistics covered in Health of Human services, 28000 kidney transplant operations were done in 2023. That’s a hefty amount, but over 90k people were on the waiting list for a donation.
Talking about the transplant procedure itself, all organs have specific timeframes after being taken out of a body and when they can be still transplanted. Kidneys last the longest, for 24-36 hours.
The reason why organs quickly become unfit for the operation is lack of blood flow. Kidneys are extremely resilient and can be cooled for over a day and still be fully functional after the transplant.
What do you think about the story? Would you donate a kidney to your best friend’s sister? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditors suggest that he could potentially lie to his best friend, or tell the truth as it’s his own body
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What do you think ?
Ni Na 4 months ago
Why not include the update? I took this advice and told him that I love him and his family but I have to opt out. It’s something that’s been brought up a few times over the years, so saying “no” wasn’t a last minute decision, I’ve had thought about it for awhile, and I told him this. Also explained that I do plan on having a family of my own one day, and my own Mother is currently battling cancer, so I am just not in the mind set to donate and feel comfortable doing so. I didn’t want to lie, and tell the screener to lie for me, because I’d have to live with knowing I pretended to help him. He took it well, he joked with me, said it’s okay and he understands, but I still feel awful. Especially since one of our friends in the group chat (that we only recently got close with) offered to donate to his sister, but not me, his best friend of 15 years. I just cant and won’t do it, and now he knows that about me. I really should’ve lied, for his and for our friendship’s sake, but living a lie
Ni Na 4 months ago
so I don’t look like a s****y friend doesn’t feel right..but neither did telling the truth 😔
Load More Replies...
Joey Jo Jo Shabadoo 4 months ago
Are people seriously just texting people they know asking them to donate organs to their relatives? Thats wild. At least he did it in a group text so op can just not respond
Sunny Day 4 months ago
It's common, and sometimes creates a chain. Say OP got tested. He doesn't match Sister, but he does match Guy2, a complete stranger. Guy2 asks all his friends/family to get tested. One of them matches Guy3. Guy3's family gets tested, and one of them match OP's best friends sister. So you have 3 people getting a kidney, including OP's friends sister, all because OP was willing to donate.
Load More Replies...
Ge Po 4 months ago
The hospital won't even lie when they call 'no match,' even if the genetics or blood-type or whatever it is that has to match adds up. A real match means the donor knows that there is a realistic, in some situations even larger risk to their health than to the receiver's health, that the heavy surgery and recovery may be in vain, because the kidney will be rejected after all (for whatever reason). The hospital also knows that a donor who is not fully in to this will suffer even more severely psychologically, causing more stress on the body and therefore more risk while recovering, especially when that kidney does get rejected. There are even more factors which may call for 'not a match' than that. Basically, a donor has to be willing to risk dying or becoming chronically ill for life, for the chance that the receiver will have a better life.
Insomniac 4 months ago
Does nobody else see it? The sister has a crush on him, which is super common for the friends of an older sibling. She's acting antagonistic and deliberately dismissive because she doesn't want him to know. That being said, it's pretty ballsy to ask a friend to donate an organ to your sibling. Donating a kidney has major health ramifications on the donor, and it's not something to be done lightly.
Jennifer Checki 4 months ago
I would buy that if this situation had not endured for 15 years! That’s too long for a crush, and certainly too long to believe this act is the right way to cope. (This is unrelated to the donation issue, in my opinion- I just wanted that to be clear.)
Load More Replies...
Roberta Surprenant 4 months ago
On top of all the other comments, who is going to pay for this surgery IF he matched and chose to go through it? His insurance won't cover it, is the sister going to pay?
Panflute 4 months ago
In the US, the recipient's insurance also covers the donor's costs.
Load More Replies...
Guess Undheit 4 months ago
If they ask once and the OP said no, that is it, end of discussion. The OP has a RIGHT to bodily autonomy, and NOBODY gets to violate it. If they ask a second time (or more) it is harassment and they are ash soles.
Nina 4 months ago
This is just wildly inappropriate. You don't just ask randoms to give up organs and significantly change their own lives for a stranger. Just say no.
kool mudkips 4 months ago
Your best friend is hardly a random. Have you ever had a bff?
Load More Replies... Ashley 4 months ago
I believe you can go in and tell the nurse or whomever that you do not want to donate. They will tell the people they need to that “this person is not a match.” Just because someone is the same blood type does not mean they will match everything else that needs to match for donation. They will not tell the patient or their family the reason for it not matching for a donation. That would violate laws. You would NOT be TAH if you chose to keep your organs. Your body, your choice.
Don 4 months ago
Bored Panda should be remaned as S****y Panda. Down voting this content as it's another of the many negative content on Bored Panda, which is far from what their mission states, "The mission is to spread good news and highlight top artists from around the world." Case in point is this post and many more which are about deception, personal problems, grudges arguments, cheating, divorce, getting back at others. In general it's becoming increasingly negative. SAD
John Robinson 4 months ago
It's something I wouldn't do I'm not going to put my well being at risk for anyone it's proven with 1 kidney it can be really bad for you in later years
WFH Forever 4 months ago
20+ years and counting and no health effects since I donated. Did you know your remaining kidney grows bigger to pick up the load?
Load More Replies...
michele mbennett101044@yahoo.c 4 months ago
Ask yourself this, would she offer to be tested or donate her kidney if the situation were reversed? Most likely not, hells bells she can't or won't acknowledge you even after all those years and you being her brother's best friend! Sorry, NOPE!
Patricia Wheat 4 months ago
Increased anxiety over having one kidney for the years left of his life --maybe up to 60? --could definitely affect his mental status regarding fears of becoming a husband, a father--and in the presence a son, THAT should be alone a reason for Dr to reject.
Julia Griffin 4 months ago
I would ask the sister what she had against me. Then go from there depending on what she had to say.
WFH Forever 4 months ago
I donated a kidney in 2003 to my own brother. That was a no brainer for me, but that brother and my parents tried to talk me out of it initially because every surgery is a risk and it would indeed impact the rest of my life. Turned out I was a perfect match (as close as could be without being identical twins) as well as 16 years younger so it was a go on the day after my parents' 53 wedding anniversary. 20+ years later, I have a surprise daughter that shares that brother's birthday and is named after his wife (they were never able to have children) and I have no health issues related to the donation either. Really the only thing is no alcohol and no NSAIDs.
Bernie j. Janinsky 4 months ago
NTA: NO ONE had the right to demand an organ from you or shame pressure you if you say no. YOUR BODY! Go take the test, tell the doctors the truth (you're being pressured to donate when you really don't want to) & they will simply say you're not a match. By the by, the picture with this story is DECEITFUL! This is not for an 8YO girl - SHE'S A 21YO ENTITLED BRAT!
Shoshana Sherrington 4 months ago
There are a lot of good reasons to not feel comfortable with donating an organ but none of them were what OP posted. Getting serious feeling rejected by a girl vibes. Literally nothing he said was a big deal he just doesn't want to own up to the fact that he's too scared to undergo a donation surgery so it's easier to say it's BC she's a bad person
Vira 4 months ago
I don't think honesty is best here. I know people want to believe the best in others, but people facing a crisis will do and say things that they shouldn't, and it has long lasting consequences. They may pressure out of desperation, and regret it. They may feel deeply hurt, by your refusal, even if rationally they know it's unfair of them to feel that way. I think the suggestions to tell nurses/doctors you're being pressured, and have them declare not a match is the best way *IF* YOU KNOW you won't carry guilt for lying. I don't think it's always good to lie, but I do think people need to stop pressuring that lying is always bad, because people are way more complex than that kind of black and white thinking.
Ni Na 4 months ago
Why not include the update? I took this advice and told him that I love him and his family but I have to opt out. It’s something that’s been brought up a few times over the years, so saying “no” wasn’t a last minute decision, I’ve had thought about it for awhile, and I told him this. Also explained that I do plan on having a family of my own one day, and my own Mother is currently battling cancer, so I am just not in the mind set to donate and feel comfortable doing so. I didn’t want to lie, and tell the screener to lie for me, because I’d have to live with knowing I pretended to help him. He took it well, he joked with me, said it’s okay and he understands, but I still feel awful. Especially since one of our friends in the group chat (that we only recently got close with) offered to donate to his sister, but not me, his best friend of 15 years. I just cant and won’t do it, and now he knows that about me. I really should’ve lied, for his and for our friendship’s sake, but living a lie
Ni Na 4 months ago
so I don’t look like a s****y friend doesn’t feel right..but neither did telling the truth 😔
Load More Replies... Joey Jo Jo Shabadoo 4 months ago
Are people seriously just texting people they know asking them to donate organs to their relatives? Thats wild. At least he did it in a group text so op can just not respond
Sunny Day 4 months ago
It's common, and sometimes creates a chain. Say OP got tested. He doesn't match Sister, but he does match Guy2, a complete stranger. Guy2 asks all his friends/family to get tested. One of them matches Guy3. Guy3's family gets tested, and one of them match OP's best friends sister. So you have 3 people getting a kidney, including OP's friends sister, all because OP was willing to donate.
Load More Replies... Ge Po 4 months ago
The hospital won't even lie when they call 'no match,' even if the genetics or blood-type or whatever it is that has to match adds up. A real match means the donor knows that there is a realistic, in some situations even larger risk to their health than to the receiver's health, that the heavy surgery and recovery may be in vain, because the kidney will be rejected after all (for whatever reason). The hospital also knows that a donor who is not fully in to this will suffer even more severely psychologically, causing more stress on the body and therefore more risk while recovering, especially when that kidney does get rejected. There are even more factors which may call for 'not a match' than that. Basically, a donor has to be willing to risk dying or becoming chronically ill for life, for the chance that the receiver will have a better life.
Insomniac 4 months ago
Does nobody else see it? The sister has a crush on him, which is super common for the friends of an older sibling. She's acting antagonistic and deliberately dismissive because she doesn't want him to know. That being said, it's pretty ballsy to ask a friend to donate an organ to your sibling. Donating a kidney has major health ramifications on the donor, and it's not something to be done lightly.
Jennifer Checki 4 months ago
I would buy that if this situation had not endured for 15 years! That’s too long for a crush, and certainly too long to believe this act is the right way to cope. (This is unrelated to the donation issue, in my opinion- I just wanted that to be clear.)
Load More Replies... Roberta Surprenant 4 months ago
On top of all the other comments, who is going to pay for this surgery IF he matched and chose to go through it? His insurance won't cover it, is the sister going to pay?
Panflute 4 months ago
In the US, the recipient's insurance also covers the donor's costs.
Load More Replies... Guess Undheit 4 months ago
If they ask once and the OP said no, that is it, end of discussion. The OP has a RIGHT to bodily autonomy, and NOBODY gets to violate it. If they ask a second time (or more) it is harassment and they are ash soles.
Nina 4 months ago
This is just wildly inappropriate. You don't just ask randoms to give up organs and significantly change their own lives for a stranger. Just say no.
kool mudkips 4 months ago
Your best friend is hardly a random. Have you ever had a bff?
Load More Replies... Ashley 4 months ago
I believe you can go in and tell the nurse or whomever that you do not want to donate. They will tell the people they need to that “this person is not a match.” Just because someone is the same blood type does not mean they will match everything else that needs to match for donation. They will not tell the patient or their family the reason for it not matching for a donation. That would violate laws. You would NOT be TAH if you chose to keep your organs. Your body, your choice.
Don 4 months ago
Bored Panda should be remaned as S****y Panda. Down voting this content as it's another of the many negative content on Bored Panda, which is far from what their mission states, "The mission is to spread good news and highlight top artists from around the world." Case in point is this post and many more which are about deception, personal problems, grudges arguments, cheating, divorce, getting back at others. In general it's becoming increasingly negative. SAD
John Robinson 4 months ago
It's something I wouldn't do I'm not going to put my well being at risk for anyone it's proven with 1 kidney it can be really bad for you in later years
WFH Forever 4 months ago
20+ years and counting and no health effects since I donated. Did you know your remaining kidney grows bigger to pick up the load?
Load More Replies... michele mbennett101044@yahoo.c 4 months ago
Ask yourself this, would she offer to be tested or donate her kidney if the situation were reversed? Most likely not, hells bells she can't or won't acknowledge you even after all those years and you being her brother's best friend! Sorry, NOPE!
Patricia Wheat 4 months ago
Increased anxiety over having one kidney for the years left of his life --maybe up to 60? --could definitely affect his mental status regarding fears of becoming a husband, a father--and in the presence a son, THAT should be alone a reason for Dr to reject.
Julia Griffin 4 months ago
I would ask the sister what she had against me. Then go from there depending on what she had to say.
WFH Forever 4 months ago
I donated a kidney in 2003 to my own brother. That was a no brainer for me, but that brother and my parents tried to talk me out of it initially because every surgery is a risk and it would indeed impact the rest of my life. Turned out I was a perfect match (as close as could be without being identical twins) as well as 16 years younger so it was a go on the day after my parents' 53 wedding anniversary. 20+ years later, I have a surprise daughter that shares that brother's birthday and is named after his wife (they were never able to have children) and I have no health issues related to the donation either. Really the only thing is no alcohol and no NSAIDs.
Bernie j. Janinsky 4 months ago
NTA: NO ONE had the right to demand an organ from you or shame pressure you if you say no. YOUR BODY! Go take the test, tell the doctors the truth (you're being pressured to donate when you really don't want to) & they will simply say you're not a match. By the by, the picture with this story is DECEITFUL! This is not for an 8YO girl - SHE'S A 21YO ENTITLED BRAT!
Shoshana Sherrington 4 months ago
There are a lot of good reasons to not feel comfortable with donating an organ but none of them were what OP posted. Getting serious feeling rejected by a girl vibes. Literally nothing he said was a big deal he just doesn't want to own up to the fact that he's too scared to undergo a donation surgery so it's easier to say it's BC she's a bad person
Vira 4 months ago
I don't think honesty is best here. I know people want to believe the best in others, but people facing a crisis will do and say things that they shouldn't, and it has long lasting consequences. They may pressure out of desperation, and regret it. They may feel deeply hurt, by your refusal, even if rationally they know it's unfair of them to feel that way. I think the suggestions to tell nurses/doctors you're being pressured, and have them declare not a match is the best way *IF* YOU KNOW you won't carry guilt for lying. I don't think it's always good to lie, but I do think people need to stop pressuring that lying is always bad, because people are way more complex than that kind of black and white thinking.
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