Experts consider a child’s formative years a critical development period. Parents are expected to be hands-on in providing guidance and support during this stage, especially since this is the age when sibling rivalry is most heated. 

Some people, however, aren’t fit to handle such obligations, so they pass them on to others. One woman experienced this from her sister, who wanted her to babysit her two children, who were at odds with each other. 

The author refused, causing drama. However, she later realized she may have been too harsh, so she asked the AITAH subreddit for answers. Scroll down to read the full story.

Sibling rivalry is at its most heated during a child’s formative years

Image credits: OlhaRomaniuk/Envato (not the actual photo)

A woman has two nephews where the older child has developed a strong dislike toward his younger brother

Image credits: mauriciotoro10/Envato (not the actual photo)

Her sister asked her to babysit the two boys, which she refused to do

Image credits: Orleighning

Several factors cause sibling rivalry among young children

Image credits:  wirestock/Envato (not the actual photo)

The sibling rivalry between the two boys in the story is nothing new, and experts deem it normal. According to an article by C.S. Mott’s Children’s Hospital of the University of Michigan, one possible factor is that children compete to define their individuality. 

During the developmental phase, they go on a path to discover their talents and interests. In doing so, they become keen on separating themselves from their siblings, which may cause a rift to develop. 

Jealousy is another common reason. Many children feel threatened by the arrival of their new brother or sister, causing an immediate dislike toward the younger sibling upon their birth.

The parents’ treatment of their children also plays a huge role. As the article points out, their reaction to the conflict greatly affects the sibling dynamic. 

According to the author, her sister seemingly avoided dealing with the ongoing issue between the two children. She then took action by rejecting the babysitting request, which only caused more problems. 

Parents must encourage healthy sibling relationships among their children

Image credits: melis82/Envato (not the actual photo)

According to early childhood education expert Dr. Susan Landry, a young child’s social-emotional development heavily depends on interactions with their parents. Therefore, parents need to ensure that their children develop healthy sibling relationships with one another. 

According to an article by The Center For Parenting Education, it begins with fair treatment. Avoid showing favoritism and make each child feel valued. 

Parents must also clearly define fairness. As the article states, “Fair does not mean equal; it means giving each person what they need.” 

Sibling rivalries often happen because parents take sides during an argument, which isn’t advisable. The article states, “Don’t referee a fight if you don’t know what happened.” 

Instead, parents must focus on getting to the bottom of the misdeed and invoke any established family rules. 

“Remember, you don’t have to worry about ‘who started it’; you did, by having more than one child!”

Ultimately, the mom in the story should have a more participatory role, especially when turmoil between her sons is at an all-time high. She may also need to pay close attention to the older child and have him undergo professional help if necessary. 

Letting her sister babysit does make her seem to be passing the obligation onto another person, which isn’t a good look.

Most people believe the author didn’t do anything wrong

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