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Woman Refuses To Babysit Nephews Until Their Mom Addresses The Serious Problem They Have
Woman Refuses To Babysit Nephews Until Their Mom Addresses The Serious Problem They Have
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Woman Refuses To Babysit Nephews Until Their Mom Addresses The Serious Problem They Have

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Experts consider a child’s formative years a critical development period. Parents are expected to be hands-on in providing guidance and support during this stage, especially since this is the age when sibling rivalry is most heated. 

Some people, however, aren’t fit to handle such obligations, so they pass them on to others. One woman experienced this from her sister, who wanted her to babysit her two children, who were at odds with each other. 

The author refused, causing drama. However, she later realized she may have been too harsh, so she asked the AITAH subreddit for answers. Scroll down to read the full story.

RELATED:

    Sibling rivalry is at its most heated during a child’s formative years

    Image credits: OlhaRomaniuk/Envato (not the actual photo)

    A woman has two nephews where the older child has developed a strong dislike toward his younger brother

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    Image credits: mauriciotoro10/Envato (not the actual photo)

    Her sister asked her to babysit the two boys, which she refused to do

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    Image credits: Orleighning

    Several factors cause sibling rivalry among young children

    Image credits:  wirestock/Envato (not the actual photo)

    The sibling rivalry between the two boys in the story is nothing new, and experts deem it normal. According to an article by C.S. Mott’s Children’s Hospital of the University of Michigan, one possible factor is that children compete to define their individuality. 

    During the developmental phase, they go on a path to discover their talents and interests. In doing so, they become keen on separating themselves from their siblings, which may cause a rift to develop. 

    Jealousy is another common reason. Many children feel threatened by the arrival of their new brother or sister, causing an immediate dislike toward the younger sibling upon their birth.

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    The parents’ treatment of their children also plays a huge role. As the article points out, their reaction to the conflict greatly affects the sibling dynamic. 

    According to the author, her sister seemingly avoided dealing with the ongoing issue between the two children. She then took action by rejecting the babysitting request, which only caused more problems. 

    Parents must encourage healthy sibling relationships among their children

    Image credits: melis82/Envato (not the actual photo)

    According to early childhood education expert Dr. Susan Landry, a young child’s social-emotional development heavily depends on interactions with their parents. Therefore, parents need to ensure that their children develop healthy sibling relationships with one another. 

    According to an article by The Center For Parenting Education, it begins with fair treatment. Avoid showing favoritism and make each child feel valued. 

    Parents must also clearly define fairness. As the article states, “Fair does not mean equal; it means giving each person what they need.” 

    Sibling rivalries often happen because parents take sides during an argument, which isn’t advisable. The article states, “Don’t referee a fight if you don’t know what happened.” 

    Instead, parents must focus on getting to the bottom of the misdeed and invoke any established family rules. 

    “Remember, you don’t have to worry about ‘who started it’; you did, by having more than one child!”

    Ultimately, the mom in the story should have a more participatory role, especially when turmoil between her sons is at an all-time high. She may also need to pay close attention to the older child and have him undergo professional help if necessary. 

    Letting her sister babysit does make her seem to be passing the obligation onto another person, which isn’t a good look.

    Most people believe the author didn’t do anything wrong

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    Miguel Ordoñez

    Miguel Ordoñez

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Struggling writer by day. Frustrated jazz drummer by night. Space Cowboy 24/7.

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    Miguel Ordoñez

    Miguel Ordoñez

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Struggling writer by day. Frustrated jazz drummer by night. Space Cowboy 24/7.

    What do you think ?
    Nina
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As comedian Steve Hofstetter said: 'I have never flown a helicopter, but if I saw one in a tree, I'd still know 'dude messed up' '. So OP might not have children and still be young, she can see it's messed up what's going with her nephews.

    BrownEyedPanda
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Harley is a ticking time bomb, which can go off when anyone least expects it. If OP'S sister insists on downplaying the situation, eventually she'll end up with one boy in a mental hospital, and one six feet under.

    StumblingThroughLife
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Big, Giant NTA. That 'dislike' of a younger sibling is a whole new level. I'd fear for the younger kid's health & safety, tbh, and the OP should stay well away from baby sitting her sister's kids.

    Skogsrået
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ugh, they should handle this ASAP before something really bad happens. I should know, my older sister always hated me for being born and our parents never seeked professional help. She tried to kill me several times and almost succseded. What did my parents do? They beat the living s**t out of her wich traumatised her and made it worse but then again they abused us all.

    KatSaidWhat
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not a single YTA in sight for once. That family is going to self implode and my gut feeling is Harley is going to do something really harmful if his behaviour keeps being ignored. It will only escalate.

    BrownEyedPanda
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A family I knew had a kid just like this one. If ever the description "unholy terror" applied, it was with him. He was nearly out of control. The only time I saw him act like he was part of the human race, I had to look twice to see if it was the same kid. It turns out that his father, who was in the army, was home that weekend. When the kid grew up, he ended up in a mental hospital. Sometime later, he faced a murder charge for killing his roommate.

    Load More Replies...
    TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I should stay out of someone else's parenting". Well DOH, that's what you said. So, it's agreed by BOTH of you, you're NOT babysitting. 🤣🤣🤣. P. S. Your sister's a moron.

    Jean Grey
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Big red flags there. Harley sounds like he's dangerously close to a 'narcissistic sociopath' or even a 'callous unemotional (CU)' diagnosis. What he's showing isn't just simple sibling rivalry -- it is a fundamental dislike of having their unique power and position of entitlement usurped by another. Harley's jealousy is extreme and unwarranted, and he sounds as if you can never trust him with Everest. I would get that child checked out by a special therapist dealing with this sort of pathology, because if Harley is what I suspect he is, that is called 'psychopathy' and it is non-rehabilitative, recidivist, and escalating behavior. The OP is right not to get involved in that scenario until Mom and Dad take it more seriously and get Harley help. He's volatile and if he's CU, he could seriously hurt her as well.

    Orysha
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This kid needs therapy like yesterday.

    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If this is how much sister freaks out when you don't babysit, I can't imagine how much drama she's stir up if you do. You won't be able to report bad behaviour, raise concerns etc. Since she's willing to pay someone, she will be able to find someone with references to watch them. Stay out of that minefield, it will only ruin your relationship with your sister and make you dislike your nephews.

    María Hermida
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP has no right to judge. True. Kind of... But she doesn't have any obligation either to put up with a problem the kids parents don't seem to be willing to solve, or even address. Absolutely NTA.

    Load More Comments
    Nina
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As comedian Steve Hofstetter said: 'I have never flown a helicopter, but if I saw one in a tree, I'd still know 'dude messed up' '. So OP might not have children and still be young, she can see it's messed up what's going with her nephews.

    BrownEyedPanda
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Harley is a ticking time bomb, which can go off when anyone least expects it. If OP'S sister insists on downplaying the situation, eventually she'll end up with one boy in a mental hospital, and one six feet under.

    StumblingThroughLife
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Big, Giant NTA. That 'dislike' of a younger sibling is a whole new level. I'd fear for the younger kid's health & safety, tbh, and the OP should stay well away from baby sitting her sister's kids.

    Skogsrået
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ugh, they should handle this ASAP before something really bad happens. I should know, my older sister always hated me for being born and our parents never seeked professional help. She tried to kill me several times and almost succseded. What did my parents do? They beat the living s**t out of her wich traumatised her and made it worse but then again they abused us all.

    KatSaidWhat
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not a single YTA in sight for once. That family is going to self implode and my gut feeling is Harley is going to do something really harmful if his behaviour keeps being ignored. It will only escalate.

    BrownEyedPanda
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A family I knew had a kid just like this one. If ever the description "unholy terror" applied, it was with him. He was nearly out of control. The only time I saw him act like he was part of the human race, I had to look twice to see if it was the same kid. It turns out that his father, who was in the army, was home that weekend. When the kid grew up, he ended up in a mental hospital. Sometime later, he faced a murder charge for killing his roommate.

    Load More Replies...
    TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I should stay out of someone else's parenting". Well DOH, that's what you said. So, it's agreed by BOTH of you, you're NOT babysitting. 🤣🤣🤣. P. S. Your sister's a moron.

    Jean Grey
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Big red flags there. Harley sounds like he's dangerously close to a 'narcissistic sociopath' or even a 'callous unemotional (CU)' diagnosis. What he's showing isn't just simple sibling rivalry -- it is a fundamental dislike of having their unique power and position of entitlement usurped by another. Harley's jealousy is extreme and unwarranted, and he sounds as if you can never trust him with Everest. I would get that child checked out by a special therapist dealing with this sort of pathology, because if Harley is what I suspect he is, that is called 'psychopathy' and it is non-rehabilitative, recidivist, and escalating behavior. The OP is right not to get involved in that scenario until Mom and Dad take it more seriously and get Harley help. He's volatile and if he's CU, he could seriously hurt her as well.

    Orysha
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This kid needs therapy like yesterday.

    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If this is how much sister freaks out when you don't babysit, I can't imagine how much drama she's stir up if you do. You won't be able to report bad behaviour, raise concerns etc. Since she's willing to pay someone, she will be able to find someone with references to watch them. Stay out of that minefield, it will only ruin your relationship with your sister and make you dislike your nephews.

    María Hermida
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP has no right to judge. True. Kind of... But she doesn't have any obligation either to put up with a problem the kids parents don't seem to be willing to solve, or even address. Absolutely NTA.

    Load More Comments
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