Ex-Homeowners Show Up To See Former House, Get A Reality Check When Woman Doesn’t Let Them In
I’m from a generation that loathes surprise social interactions. Even the thought of an unexpected phone call or unwanted guest makes me anxious. So if a stranger tried to force themselves inside my home, I probably wouldn’t have it.
This person had to deal with the previous owners of their house. Recently, she came to Reddit to tell the story of how two women who grew up in that house asked to be let in and see what it looks like now. Perhaps the author felt similarly to the way I do because she refused to let them in. After being branded as “mean,” she decided to ask people online: who was right in this situation?
We got in touch with the author of this story, u/No-Ask3051. She kindly agreed to tell Bored Panda more about the incident. Read our conversation with her below!
Once you sell a house, it belongs to the new owner, no matter how much sentimental value it holds for you
Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)
So this woman was shocked to find out some people think it’s okay to show up at somebody else’s house and demand they let you inside
Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: No-Ask3051
The author tells Bored Panda that this may have soured their relationship with the neighbor
Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)
While it’s understandable that the previous owners might want to see what their house looks like now, forcing themselves inside is certainly not it. What’s more interesting is the role of the neighbor in this situation. u/No-Ask3051 says that their relationship prior to this incident was quite neighborly.
“The neighbor is a lady of 68 years,” the author told Bored Panda in a message via Reddit. “She is, overall, a nice lady; always helping with something, always there for us. Although, like every other person, she has some thoughts about life in general and other things that we just can’t agree [on]. Maybe it is because of the age difference, maybe [it’s] just because people are different.”
The Redditor says she was a tad shocked when the neighbor reacted in such a hostile manner. “She was quite angry when I denied their request. I have never seen her like that. She tried to get answers [about] why I am not comfortable with letting strangers in my home. I said, ‘I am not comfortable and that is it for me.’ She told me I was rude.”
The most ridiculous part of the story is that the neighbor now continues to socialize with the owners as if nothing happened. “[She’s] chatting with us normally like nothing happened. [As if] she did not tell me that I am rude and weird,” u/No-Ask3051 says with obvious disbelief. “Everything is back to normal.”
In her post, u/No-Ask3051 mentions how the previous owners already did the same thing some years ago. But back then, her mother handled the unwelcome guests. “My mom told me she couldn’t believe that they came again,” the Redditor tells us.
She said her mom let them in, although she was confused. She did it to keep the peace between neighbors. “She complied with it,” the author says. “Her decision to let them in definitely sparked some thoughts, also because of making ‘peace’ with neighbors.”
The author believes she did the right thing; you don’t just show up at somebody’s house like that
Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)
“Privacy is something very important to me,” the Redditor admits. “My first reaction was really simple; it [has been] OUR house for the last 30 years. My mother, my father, and I can decide if we want someone in our house [and] yard.”
“Sometimes, you are not in a good mood, sometimes, your house is messy, or you have a lot to do that day. I thought, ‘I have every right to say no to visitors. Especially someone I personally don’t know.’
“I get it that people sometimes want to reminisce, they have memories, good or bad. But look at the house from the street, tell a story or two, and move on.”
“I posted on Reddit because [the] reaction from my neighbor surprised me and made me feel like an a**. So mixed emotions and thoughts led me to Reddit. And as far as I have seen, 98% of Redditors agreed with me. It is creepy and weird, especially after I found out they were here before.”
“I am from a small town in Croatia, where thoughts of other people matter,” the Redditor opens up. She says that might make her more inclined to people-pleasing. “Sometimes, we go really far to make other people satisfied just because we are scared to take action ourselves, and we are scared that other people are going to talk about us badly.”
The Redditor says that’s a whole other story — what people in small towns do to stay in their neighbors’ good graces. She thinks this is probably the reason the neighbor now smiles and chats with them as if nothing happened — to keep the ‘peace’ with the neighbors.
Most commenters backed the author for doing the right thing
In fact, many had similar stories
However, one person called the author a jerk; the women probably just felt nostalgic for their childhood home
I am mildly curious about the places I've lived. I'd enjoy seeing how other people decorate the same space. But I'd never ask!
Yeah that's kinda weird. I sometimes drive by the house I grew up in as a child just to wax nostalgic and check out the courtyard and the neighborhood but I would never ask to be let inside. That would be so awkward.
Load More Replies...We recently had a really large family revisit our home. It was a little weird, but the house has a lot historical meaning to their family (owned it for 100 years, lost family members there, was important in WWII). I didn't mind, because I knew who they are and what it meant for them, but I think it is entirely reasonable to refuse such a request. It is up to you to decide what you are comfortable with.
This is my stance. I really like doing the kind thing, and depending on the vibe I get from them. My own saftey comes first, I i think they aren't safe I'm not letting them in. If I don't feel unsafe however I be more than happy to.
Load More Replies...Nope. We bought our house in 2010. If the original owners came by to see it, I wouldn't feel comfortable letting them in. When were in our old house for three years and it's only a few minutes away. We still drive by it regularly. I have some great memories in that house as it was the first one we lived in after returning from abroad after a decade. And the kids were all little. I would LOVE to see inside of it. But while we do drive by it often, I'd never ask to go in. That would be weird, and intrusive.
That's it. I understand the impulse and I don't think they mean any harm but coming into people's personal space is ... personal.
Load More Replies...It's pretty rude to expect a tour of the house on the spot. If they were making introductions and trying to set a time later to see inside the house, that would have been more respectful. And even then, OP is not obligated to make an agreement.
I SWEAR, this happened to me today! I was on my porch and the new neighbor who moved in behind us said that she remembered my house from years ago (they've never lived in my house, only in the area years ago) and "I need to come over and see what you've done to the inside." Umm.... absolutely not. It's not your house and I don't know you. I'm still mad over the audacity and rudeness of that woman. I'm so glad that we have a fenced yard and 2 barking dogs.
Very suspicious. I would even report it to police. This is what some burglars do. I had a guy come up to my door, one day, at my old house. He was asking if my "husband" was home. I had split with my common-law bf about a year ago. So, it's not like this guy from down the street wouldn't have noticed. I kept this guy's face in mind. A week or 2 later I had open house. 1 week later my house got broken into. I mentioned the dude to the police and had already made a rough, but decent sketch she was impressed with. They found the culprit, who matched the description. He broken into a few houses on the street that had open-houses.
Load More Replies...We had to sell my father's seaside house after his death. It was heart-wrenching because the house was in the family since 1947, having belonged to my great-grand-mother, but we simple couldn't afford to keep it, the house prices in that now fashionable area being what they are. The people who bought it were very enthusiastic and they poured money into that pretty but somewhat ramshackle (for lack of funds, my parents had let it go some) house. After two years of construction, it was restored to its former glory and then some. Hubby and i decided to use our share of the sale to buy à small apartment in the same seaside town, because I was really attached to it, and we followed the progress of the house every time we came there. Last June, it was finally finished, and the new owners invited us in and proudly gave us à tour. I was so glad to see that house I loved start à new life.
When my sister, who lives in Athens, Greece, was over with us in the Netherlands, we walked through our old neighborhood. It was our house where we moved away from when we were 6 and 8 years old, so for me (6) the memories were vague. So we just stood in front of the house for a little while talking, and the owner came out to ask who we were and we started talking about how we lived there and the next moment she invited us in! But we felt embarrassed, like an intruder, and we kindly declined. It was 40 years ago, and it's hers now.
No! It is BEYOND rude to show up at someone's house without prior agreement and expect to be accommodated.
Upvoting you from -1. Someone must think owners have no right to say no.
Load More Replies...They might have head a better chance if they had called the neighbor well in advance to ask for a quick tour at the owner's convenience.
Totally!!! Would have let the Mother communicate and decide as a family and would allow tidy up time if they were willing. No one in this current society likes unexpected visitors. It would have made a massive difference.
Load More Replies..."Sure, but you should know tours cost $50, per person, payable in advance."
"By the way, just ignore the ghost!"
Load More Replies...Some weeks ago, I visited my hometown and came across the house my family moved out of 11 years ago and the house we lived in in the mid-80s. I sure would have loved to see the inside. Especially with the older house, I always try to remember the layout, I don't want to lose memory of my childhood home. But I'd never ask a stranger to show me THEIR house. It's not mine/ours anymore.
Same thing happened to our family. Funny enough my mother also bought our (her) house in 1993. Shortly after a couple showed up, 2 very friendly men who said they were former owners and wanted to see inside the house. They approached us apprehensively like they knew they were asking a big favor and were totally expecting us to say no. We let them in and gave them a quick tour. The house was still pretty new to us and not that lived in yet. I doubt my mom would allow that now. It was cool though seeing their excitement about the house and hearing some of their memories and stories/knowledge about the house (it was built in 1908). And that was it. They were satisfied. Never came back again. Which would've been weird.
In the book “Anne of the Island” Anne visits the home she was born in and live in before her parents died. It’s a lovely scene where she’s able to connect with her past, but I have always thought the home owner was extremely kind to welcome her in and show her around when she was a total stranger out interrupting her days. But, that’s fiction. Of course OP is not obligated to show them around and of course neighbour is a total AH for expecting it and for not taking no as an answer and the name calling. But it would have been a nice thing, nonetheless. (Personally, I’d avoid visiting my childhood home like the plague - it would break my heart to see other people living in it).
"Anne of the Island" is a story set in the 19th century, in a small community where everybody knows everybody. I guess those were simpler times. Nowadays, I wouldn't let anybody (except close friends and family members) in.
Load More Replies...F**k that s**t. NOPE. NTA. I don't even feel comfortable with open-houses and prospective tenants scoping my suite. Not after getting broken into and robbed a week after an open-house. You just don't know people. Not even the people you've been acquainted with for years. The neighbour doesn't sound like a friend. More like the neighbourhood "ruler". I've lived many places my whole life. Sometimes I'll look at it if I'm passing by. Sometimes I'll check it out on Google maps. Never would it occur to me to actually go up to the house and demand to be shown the inside. It wouldn't look like how I remember it, anyways. None of my stuff would be in there.
My upvote didnt get rid of the negative, but hope others upvote you, too. Honestly, is it someone downvoting, who thinks its ok for peeps to unexpectedly turn up at your house and also get angry when you decline?
Load More Replies...Getting worked up over it is uncalled for, but where I grew up this is pretty normal, going back and seeing your former house or a parent/granparent's former house. You usually knock and they invite you in. I've never heard of someone not inviting the family in. Especially if she already said they could see the house. Why would they ask permission to see the outside? You can just look at the outside. But the neighbour sounds over the top.
Yep, where I live it wouldn't be considered especially strange or rude to ask for a look, but of course if the person said no for any reason (or no reason!) you would immediately accept that answer, you definitely wouldn't tell THEM off for being rude by refusing your request. Like most things, asking politely is fine, but you do need to graciously accept whatever response you receive.
Load More Replies...I live in a fairly historic old house - it's attached a former bank that we own and the house used to be where the bank manager lived. We had one of the former bank managers come by and basically apologised for disturbing me and explaining who he was. He was delighted I invited him to look around some of it. I was more than happy to show him the old bank and the downstairs of my house and he was utterly delighted and grateful, telling us some of the history of the place as well. He also made it very clear he understood if I didn't want to invite him in. We also had some Americans who were descended from a family who built the property. We were happy to shown them parts of the old bank and the outside of the hosue but not to take them in and they were prefectly polite, asking us permission to take some photos of the outside of the property. The OPs neighbour and the owner's daughters were absolutely rude as hell. They had no right to expect you to allow them on to your property.
Trust me, "you can't go home again". Revisiting a house you used to live in that someone else lives in now for years, and has decorated differently, furnished differently, you're going to feel more sad than happy and nostalgic. People think they want to see and then they do and they feel disappointed. Besides, it's inappropriate in this situation. Not to ask, but to be entitledly expecting that you should have admittance. This is not a public tour. This is not a museum.
Google Earth lets you see the outside and the top. Leave it at that.
Sometimes I check out my childhood home on Google maps, and once it went on the market I got to see photos of the remodelled inside on Zillow. But I would never insert myself into the lives of the people who live in it currently, just observe from a distance. (And judge them for cutting down the trees we planted.)
The very fact that they got angry when the OPs declined is a red flag in itself - and they'd already had a mooch, allowed by their mother, who felt 'pressured' to do so. NTA. The daughters & the neighbour were the AHs. #Entitlement also showed in their angry reactions. YTAers are AHs, too.
You can't just go knocking on people's doors because we've grown scared of strangers, but if the neighbour asked in advanced and explained why it's important for that people l wouldn't mind letting them in for 5 minutes. If you read BP comments section or (way worse) Reddit, you realise how dehumanised we're becoming. Nobody does anything for anyone but then they're shocked when people won't show any kindness. If you think of how dystopian society is already, we're only making it worse.
There's a big difference between "never doing anything for anyone" and "not trying to do things that anyone in any saftey advisory highly reccomends you don't for your own physical saftey." Many city boards advise that its not safe to OPEN THE DOOR for strangers, because people HAVE been killed like that. You are free to make your own choices regarding your saftey, but negativpey judging someone for avoiding what is considered by many people a "common sense saftey risk." Is just plain ridiculous. Many people call out ANYONE, not even just on reddit, who let's a stranger in.
Load More Replies...When we (hubs and I) went back to the states for my dad's funeral, I took him on a tour of the place (very small hamlet) I grew up. We stopped by the house my dad built and looked at it from the road. Even though it was my sister's friend who bought it, I had no desire to knock on the door and ask to look around. That's just weird!
Wth is wrong with the person who said YTA. Those people don't own the house anymore. Sure anyone has rights to feel nostalgic, but the inside of someone else's house is a private space. If I'm feeling nostalgic about my ex, I'm not gonna try to get in his pants.
Sometimes I drive by the house I grew up in, when I visit my parents in another town. I even feel creepy parking in front and looking at it for a minute :D
That's because you have respect for other people's privacy, which apparently is becoming less and less common.
Load More Replies...It would be one thing if they'd perhaps written a letter in advance asking if the current owners would mind a quick visit (they obviously know the address), with a willingness to accept either answer. But as far as I'm concerned, it is strange and rude to show up on anyone's doorstep unexpected and assuming you will be let in, unless it is a close friend or family member who explicitly has invited drop-ins (and even then, they should still be able to say, "I'm sorry, this isn't a good time," with no hard feelings. Also, I'd never want to go back inside my own childhood home. I want to remember it the way it was and not be disappointed by changes.
what a ghastly neighbour - getting angry at you , shows that she is really a person without boundaries.
I had a guy show up saying he owned my house way back when and kind of look like he expected me to let him in to tour the place. I was home alone. I ended the conversation quickly and shut the door, he looked irritated. Being a former inhabitant of a home does not grant you a permanent right of easement.
I still live near one of the houses I grew up in. Lots of great memories. But I'd never stop and ask for someone to let me in. Nor would I be cool with some random stranger asking to come inside my own house.
I used to live in an old house on the countryside with my parents, one day this little old lady came by with her daughter. She was born and raised in that house and wanted to see how it looked now. She talked about the history of the house, people had died in every room of that house. My parents weren't happy but i wasn't suprised, me and my sisters had already experienced things we couldn't explain but the worst was yet to come and i didn't know that yet. That house wad haunted as hell and i had some of the worst experiences in my life there were i still think i was close to die 2 times. I usually don't like talking about it cause it makes me feel so uneasy and still have nightmares about the things i experienced in that haunted old house.
Since the OP mentioned his mom, he's probably either a minor or an adult living at home with a parent/parents. Either way he doesn't have the authority to allow strangers into a property that doesn't belong to him, without permission. And, if you ask to view a stranger's home out of the blue, and they say no, the only polite response is "okay, thank you anyway. I respect your decision." Getting mad about it would only confirm to me the wisdom of my choice to say no.
My dad did this. We'd bought an old church to try and convert it into a house, but ran out of money and had to sell it. 15 years later, he decided to confidently storm down the hill and ask the new owners to see the inside. I tried to warn him not to and fully expected them to tell us to f**k off, but unexpectedly, they immediately hit it off over the drive dad had put in and ended up giving us both a full tour! They even exchanged phone numbers. That said, I wouldn't ever expect this is to happen normally. If people aren't comfortable with the idea, leave them alone. It's their home at the end of the day. We just got lucky.
Here we go again. What the hell makes people believe you owe anything to your neighbours? Jesus Christ! They are just people that happen to live next door! Somebody up there said OP should have let the daughters visit the house because the neighbour knew them! So? I don't care who the neighbour knows! I wouldn't even let my neighbours in, unless I knew them very well and I had a great relationship with them. It's not because of the risk, but privacy. I don't want strangers in my house, judging my stuff and my decoration! Why should I open the door to let visitors in out of the blue?
One: Yeah, this is creepy. Drive-by is the only acceptable way to check out an old house you used to live in. - Two: that one commenter is wrong about people forgetting what their home looked like. I'm sure some people do but some people remember. I remember the layout of every place I've ever lived since being able to have memories, and I've moved around a lot ... and I'm older. Not saying the ladies should have gone inside, just saying not everyone's memory works the same
Look man, I have nothing against it if you want to ask. Just accept the no without question.
Load More Replies...Awesome. Hopefully if that does ever happen to you it is actually the owners... and you don't end up on TV being mocked after being assaulted/murdered/kidnapped because "who in their right mind would let a stranger into their home?! You arent even supposed to open the door for them!" I'm not being sarcastic. Genuinely hoping that never happens to you.
Load More Replies...I don't get the big deal show them the house we have lived in lots of places in US and Germany - our fave was my nanas while she sold it during her lifetime it was the house my father lived in as a teen, it was the house that no matter where we lived we always saw her for 20 plus years even with us moving every 3-4yrs that was address of record our mainstay we have gone back twice to visit with the new owners (it's been sold twice since my nana sold it) each new owner made changes to the inside and outside but the nostalgia remains it brings back great memories and latest owner even passed along the fire place mantle to my dad when my dad mentioned that his father had handcarved it (it was in the garage they were renovating the home taking it from 60s colonial to more farm house vibe) we also have had the knock on the door asking for a tour of course we let them in - as a military fam rarely were our homes owned by us - a home is owned by many thru the memories it contains
They knew the address, why not ask first instead of turning up out of the blue? That's just rude.
Load More Replies...My uncle and his wife ended up buying my childhood home when my mother downsized as my sister and I had moved out. 10 years later it is sad to go back and see it as they completely gutted the place and changed everything. Knocked down walls, built extensions. It is no longer the house I grew up in and any sign of my deceased fathers work is long gone.
Nowadays you can often look on Zillow to see what a house looks like if it's been sold in the last few years
The three daughters visit every so often to see if the basement has been remodeled. There used to be four daughters...
My father did that. He sold house, the new owner sold it later to another person. My father asked that person if he could come and see. Also offered to bring pictures how it looked when he lived there (He documented all changes he has done there). They said yes and spend whole Saturday going through whole house and yard and comparing the pictures and changes. It is not creepy if you offer something (pictures how it looked long time ago) and let the owner find the best time for visit.
When it's been a loving family home that was there for all your childhood we always have memories of it and want to reminise. My mother recently sold her dad's home which he had been in since 1956, she had many happy positive memories there and often says she would love to see what the new owners do with the place. Now me I would not advise going to visit old family homes as I actually feel it will 1) devalue your memories to an extent, its not the same place it was in your family, 2) it can actually cause rage if something that you hold key to your family life there has been dramatically changed. I put it to you this way, imagine an Artist painting on Canvas. If he paints over an old painting is it the same painting?
i like how the YTA said if they can make peoples day better by doing nothing then they will, yet they went ahead and ruined my day with that comment.
I understand if you want to see your old house from the outside. But intruding someone else's home sounds weird. That's somebody else's HOME now. It's like the difference between seeing your ex on the street and waving at them, or asking their current partner for a free ride with them for the sake of nostalgy. For me it just sounds crazy.
I had a great chance to see my childhood home but the difference is that the day I drove by, it was having an open house on sale! So it was great because it was set up for strangers to look at. It was surreal and a great moment, but I think people need to realize that once it's not your house any longer, you're not entitled to be let inside. The neighbor is super nosy and entitled for offering it without permission.
So rude to just show up and expect people to let you into their private home just because you lived there once upon a time. It would be one thing to go and ask if you could see it at a set time and day ahead of time, but not expect it that moment. And if people say no, just accept it. Not everyone likes strangers in their private area.
We've seen this twice; Landlady showed up at the little cabin that our family of five rented expecting to stay with us. 2) The guy next door had sold his house but showed up still thinking he owned it. The renters called my husband to come 'fix it'
Been there. The previous owners of my house called the real estate agent that handled the sale. Their son, then 22, and mentally very handicapped, wanted to video the inside of his childhood home for a project. I said no.
Nope. Not even family is invited into my home. If you don't actually live here, you may not come in unexpectedly. Thank goodness hubby is fine with that restriction too especially since it's his family that lives nearby while mine are on the other side of the planet. This is our private messy little refuge from the big bad world where we don't have to "put on appearances" like the big outside world expects.
The YTA comments are wild. You are not required too let ANYONE for ANY REASON into your home, least of all someone YOU, the current owner, do not know. Nor are you required to justify yourself. If a neighbor starts offering entry to YOUR home, they are automatically the a*****e, and more so if they start giving you s**t for not allowing them to dictate what you do with your home. Almost every house sold in the past 30 odd years has interior photos posted online anyway. I understand the inclination to nostalgia and curiosity, but getting pissed off that a stranger won't permit you to go touring YOUR home is batshit insane.
There’s nothing wrong with asking to see the house but op has every right to refuse and it should have been accepted with good grace. My sister has an old Victorian and gets requests occasionally. One time, it was a 90 year old man and his daughter. He had grown up in the house and his family lived there for about seventy years from the 1920s. He had great stories that explained some of the eccentricities of the house and a tie in to a local scandal about the owners before his family. Another time, four mennonites in hats and beards knocked on the door because they wanted to check out the workmanship of the shelving one of their sons just built. Fun stuff.
Being "nice" about your home is overrated. Absolutely be "mean" because you own it and NO ONE has a RIGHT to enter, and they were being mean for getting mad. I would have asked the neighbor if they would take the sisters of a tour of their own home, since as a neighbor house they would have just as much nostalgia about that place.
These days I would not let anyone in that I don't know. If and when we sell our home, I won't allow any open houses unless it's empty at the time because I've read too many stories of undesirables using open house days to see what's worth stealing.
If the neighbour has a key to your house ask for it back, I wouldn't be surprised if she told them to come back when she knows you're out to show them around without your permission.
I’m kind of on the other side of this, but with a twist. Several years ago I visited the town where I was born, and the townhouse we lived in there (we owned the whole row of three, lived in one and rented out the other two). The row of houses was at the beginning of the residential area around the corner from the small downtown square, convenient for my father, who was a pharmacist and owned the local drugstore on the square, and the first floor had been converted into offices, with apartments on the second and third floors and storage for the office in the basement. The first floor was a law office, and I asked if I could have a look inside because I used to live there. Since it was an office and not a home, it was a less intrusive request. Anyway, the configuration of rooms was the same, though they were now a front office/reception area and both of the lawyers’ offices instead of a living room, dining room, and kitchen. They were actually quite interested in hearing some of the history of the house. A lot was changed, but they had converted a section of what used to be the kitchen (it was a BIG eat-in kitchen) into a coffee station—-and hadn’t changed the flooring, so I told them that red and gray linoleum tiles were already in the house from when we moved in back in 1967 (and are the reason I really prefer old fashioned linoleum tiles to the modern version). They were actually kind of tickled that an older feature of the house had been preserved. So I did revisit an old home of mine, but because it was now an office instead of a home, I feel it was more acceptable than trying to get inside someone’s house.
I live five blocks from my old house and walk by every now and then: never would I walk up the steps and ask to see inside! I don't let strangers into my house (which used to be a rental, so imagine the potential traffic!)
We took a trip two years ago so my wife could see where I grew up. We went by my old home and pulled off the street so we could check it out from across the street. I couldn't imagine knocking on the door and asking to go inside.
Well, my mother sold the house I grew up in about eight years ago, and it was sad for all our family. She had that house for almost 50 years, so lots of memories! But anyway, even though I still live in town, very close to that house, it would never occur to me to knock on the current owners’s door and ask to look inside! That would just feel weird! Likewise, I would find it very off-putting if some total stranger showed up at my house asking to look inside. No. And that OP’s neighbor sounds really presumptuous and inconsiderate!
If I wanted to see the inside of my childhood homes, I would at least write to the current owners letting them know when I would be around and asking politely to look inside. But just showing up at the door isn't good manners.
Soon, I’ll have to sell my house - which I love - because I’ve been an expat who’s going back to my original country. I am sure that, if I ever come back to my expat country, I will think about asking to see it again. I believe I wouldn’t even see their decoration. I would see my decoration back then…
The original owners of our home (and we are the 3rd family to have lived here since) has done this several times to us, over the past 25 yrs. that we've owned the house. The 1st time, I relented and let them have a look inside, but never more (and they've tried a couple of more times to "see how things are now"). Frankly, I am not comfortable having strangers in my home questioning why my husband made renovations, etc. They are taking being "entitled" to an awful, uncomfortable level, IMO. My husband & I have lived in 4 different states and have never attempted to barge in our former homes to have a lookaround.
There are three homes from my childhood (mine and both of my grandparents - 50 years ago) where if the house went on the market, I would do the 600 mile round trip to go to an open house.
I want to do this very thing when I go next summer to the city I lived in for 25 years. I lived in the house for 20 years selling it in 2000. I won't be accompanied by an old neighbor but I have some good stories about the houses history. I'm 75 and don't look like serial killer....I'll knock on the door and see what happens. I have to agree with a couple of the remarks here...especially the one where reddit commentors won't do anything unless there's something in it for them....
My brother and I went by our parents old house. The new owner saw us looking at his house and opened the door and asked if we needed anything. We said our parents used to live there. He was very gracious and invited us in to see the renovations. He had done some lovely renovations and we were very happy to see the place looking so good. I was also able to answer some gardening questions for him.
Hmm. Well, here's a counterpoint: my family lived in a house in Brooklyn, an old Victorian that my dad had bought in the 1950s and lovingly restored. We sold it in 1978. In 2003, my mom and my sister were visiting me (I'd moved back to NYC years earlier) and we went out there to see the house. No one was home, so we were just looking at it from the outside. But then the person who owned it came home - she had bought it from the person we'd sold it to in like 1981 or something (the guy we sold it to didn't have it for very long) and she *immediately* invited us in to look around. My mom and my older sister were both incredibly touched about seeing their old home - my mom had lived there as a newlywed up until 14 years of marriage, and my older sister had lived there from birth to age 13 (I was only 7 when we left so was less nostalgic). The kicker was that apparently my dad used to come around YEARLY to see his house and she always let him in. So it's not the craziest ask IMHO...
NTA. I finally found the home my baby sitter lived when she was watching me in the late sixties. I remember her peonies, raspberries and this cool ravine that ran down to a creek. I was probably 3-5yo. I've driven by it a couple times and toyed with sending a letter asking if I could visit. No, just no. It's creepy. Now if it went up for sale, heck yeah I'm going to the open house.
Never been refused a tour. Couple of times as former occupant and a couple of times as enthusiastically interested in design and layout. People used to stop for hitch hikers and vehicle breakdowns too and some still do. Yes is yes and no is no; both are good.
NTA. I did something like that when I was maybe 18. We moved from my childhood semi-detached home when I was 13, we had lived there since I was 2. I don't remember now why I did it, or how I got the guts to do it. I'm usually very shy and rather scared of strangers. I went by it 5-10 years after we moved away and was let in to walk around. I have always looked younger than I am, and probably looked shy and harmless, so it probably felt like low-risk to let me in. If they had said No, I would of course have said "OK, thank you anyway. Bye." I'd never push or demand.
When the previous owners of our house died within a few weeks of each other, the family called and asked to visit the house. Since several of the grandchildren had recently been students of mine, it didn't feel strange letting them in.
Many years ago some friends of mine owned part of a fifteenth-century castle and it happened that a relative of the old owner showed up to see it again. They let him in. When, for reasons of age, they were forced to sell it, one of their nieces years later showed up to the new owner to see an important place from her childhood again, and they let her in. My mother also asked to see an old family home again with the new owner and he let her in. Sometimes, some places have a great sentimental value for those who had to sell them for various reasons, or for their family members, and I think it is polite to allow them to be seen again.
I think people used to do this more in years past. Nowadays people aren't as open to letting strangers in their house. I stopped by my grandma's old house that I hadn't been in since I was a child. I knocked on the door & explained it was my grandma's and I hadn't seen it since I was a child. I hoped she would invite me in but I could see she was uncomfortable so I asked if I could take a few outdoor pics. She said she was just renting & I needed to go down the street &ask the owners. I said OK but took a couple of pics as I retirement to the car. Didn't see what that would hurt.
I mean it's within their right to not let strangers within their home. However, I have personal attachments to childhood homes and my grandparent's house. Not being allowed into a space I have so many memories in would be upsetting.
I am mildly curious about the places I've lived. I'd enjoy seeing how other people decorate the same space. But I'd never ask!
Yeah that's kinda weird. I sometimes drive by the house I grew up in as a child just to wax nostalgic and check out the courtyard and the neighborhood but I would never ask to be let inside. That would be so awkward.
Load More Replies...We recently had a really large family revisit our home. It was a little weird, but the house has a lot historical meaning to their family (owned it for 100 years, lost family members there, was important in WWII). I didn't mind, because I knew who they are and what it meant for them, but I think it is entirely reasonable to refuse such a request. It is up to you to decide what you are comfortable with.
This is my stance. I really like doing the kind thing, and depending on the vibe I get from them. My own saftey comes first, I i think they aren't safe I'm not letting them in. If I don't feel unsafe however I be more than happy to.
Load More Replies...Nope. We bought our house in 2010. If the original owners came by to see it, I wouldn't feel comfortable letting them in. When were in our old house for three years and it's only a few minutes away. We still drive by it regularly. I have some great memories in that house as it was the first one we lived in after returning from abroad after a decade. And the kids were all little. I would LOVE to see inside of it. But while we do drive by it often, I'd never ask to go in. That would be weird, and intrusive.
That's it. I understand the impulse and I don't think they mean any harm but coming into people's personal space is ... personal.
Load More Replies...It's pretty rude to expect a tour of the house on the spot. If they were making introductions and trying to set a time later to see inside the house, that would have been more respectful. And even then, OP is not obligated to make an agreement.
I SWEAR, this happened to me today! I was on my porch and the new neighbor who moved in behind us said that she remembered my house from years ago (they've never lived in my house, only in the area years ago) and "I need to come over and see what you've done to the inside." Umm.... absolutely not. It's not your house and I don't know you. I'm still mad over the audacity and rudeness of that woman. I'm so glad that we have a fenced yard and 2 barking dogs.
Very suspicious. I would even report it to police. This is what some burglars do. I had a guy come up to my door, one day, at my old house. He was asking if my "husband" was home. I had split with my common-law bf about a year ago. So, it's not like this guy from down the street wouldn't have noticed. I kept this guy's face in mind. A week or 2 later I had open house. 1 week later my house got broken into. I mentioned the dude to the police and had already made a rough, but decent sketch she was impressed with. They found the culprit, who matched the description. He broken into a few houses on the street that had open-houses.
Load More Replies...We had to sell my father's seaside house after his death. It was heart-wrenching because the house was in the family since 1947, having belonged to my great-grand-mother, but we simple couldn't afford to keep it, the house prices in that now fashionable area being what they are. The people who bought it were very enthusiastic and they poured money into that pretty but somewhat ramshackle (for lack of funds, my parents had let it go some) house. After two years of construction, it was restored to its former glory and then some. Hubby and i decided to use our share of the sale to buy à small apartment in the same seaside town, because I was really attached to it, and we followed the progress of the house every time we came there. Last June, it was finally finished, and the new owners invited us in and proudly gave us à tour. I was so glad to see that house I loved start à new life.
When my sister, who lives in Athens, Greece, was over with us in the Netherlands, we walked through our old neighborhood. It was our house where we moved away from when we were 6 and 8 years old, so for me (6) the memories were vague. So we just stood in front of the house for a little while talking, and the owner came out to ask who we were and we started talking about how we lived there and the next moment she invited us in! But we felt embarrassed, like an intruder, and we kindly declined. It was 40 years ago, and it's hers now.
No! It is BEYOND rude to show up at someone's house without prior agreement and expect to be accommodated.
Upvoting you from -1. Someone must think owners have no right to say no.
Load More Replies...They might have head a better chance if they had called the neighbor well in advance to ask for a quick tour at the owner's convenience.
Totally!!! Would have let the Mother communicate and decide as a family and would allow tidy up time if they were willing. No one in this current society likes unexpected visitors. It would have made a massive difference.
Load More Replies..."Sure, but you should know tours cost $50, per person, payable in advance."
"By the way, just ignore the ghost!"
Load More Replies...Some weeks ago, I visited my hometown and came across the house my family moved out of 11 years ago and the house we lived in in the mid-80s. I sure would have loved to see the inside. Especially with the older house, I always try to remember the layout, I don't want to lose memory of my childhood home. But I'd never ask a stranger to show me THEIR house. It's not mine/ours anymore.
Same thing happened to our family. Funny enough my mother also bought our (her) house in 1993. Shortly after a couple showed up, 2 very friendly men who said they were former owners and wanted to see inside the house. They approached us apprehensively like they knew they were asking a big favor and were totally expecting us to say no. We let them in and gave them a quick tour. The house was still pretty new to us and not that lived in yet. I doubt my mom would allow that now. It was cool though seeing their excitement about the house and hearing some of their memories and stories/knowledge about the house (it was built in 1908). And that was it. They were satisfied. Never came back again. Which would've been weird.
In the book “Anne of the Island” Anne visits the home she was born in and live in before her parents died. It’s a lovely scene where she’s able to connect with her past, but I have always thought the home owner was extremely kind to welcome her in and show her around when she was a total stranger out interrupting her days. But, that’s fiction. Of course OP is not obligated to show them around and of course neighbour is a total AH for expecting it and for not taking no as an answer and the name calling. But it would have been a nice thing, nonetheless. (Personally, I’d avoid visiting my childhood home like the plague - it would break my heart to see other people living in it).
"Anne of the Island" is a story set in the 19th century, in a small community where everybody knows everybody. I guess those were simpler times. Nowadays, I wouldn't let anybody (except close friends and family members) in.
Load More Replies...F**k that s**t. NOPE. NTA. I don't even feel comfortable with open-houses and prospective tenants scoping my suite. Not after getting broken into and robbed a week after an open-house. You just don't know people. Not even the people you've been acquainted with for years. The neighbour doesn't sound like a friend. More like the neighbourhood "ruler". I've lived many places my whole life. Sometimes I'll look at it if I'm passing by. Sometimes I'll check it out on Google maps. Never would it occur to me to actually go up to the house and demand to be shown the inside. It wouldn't look like how I remember it, anyways. None of my stuff would be in there.
My upvote didnt get rid of the negative, but hope others upvote you, too. Honestly, is it someone downvoting, who thinks its ok for peeps to unexpectedly turn up at your house and also get angry when you decline?
Load More Replies...Getting worked up over it is uncalled for, but where I grew up this is pretty normal, going back and seeing your former house or a parent/granparent's former house. You usually knock and they invite you in. I've never heard of someone not inviting the family in. Especially if she already said they could see the house. Why would they ask permission to see the outside? You can just look at the outside. But the neighbour sounds over the top.
Yep, where I live it wouldn't be considered especially strange or rude to ask for a look, but of course if the person said no for any reason (or no reason!) you would immediately accept that answer, you definitely wouldn't tell THEM off for being rude by refusing your request. Like most things, asking politely is fine, but you do need to graciously accept whatever response you receive.
Load More Replies...I live in a fairly historic old house - it's attached a former bank that we own and the house used to be where the bank manager lived. We had one of the former bank managers come by and basically apologised for disturbing me and explaining who he was. He was delighted I invited him to look around some of it. I was more than happy to show him the old bank and the downstairs of my house and he was utterly delighted and grateful, telling us some of the history of the place as well. He also made it very clear he understood if I didn't want to invite him in. We also had some Americans who were descended from a family who built the property. We were happy to shown them parts of the old bank and the outside of the hosue but not to take them in and they were prefectly polite, asking us permission to take some photos of the outside of the property. The OPs neighbour and the owner's daughters were absolutely rude as hell. They had no right to expect you to allow them on to your property.
Trust me, "you can't go home again". Revisiting a house you used to live in that someone else lives in now for years, and has decorated differently, furnished differently, you're going to feel more sad than happy and nostalgic. People think they want to see and then they do and they feel disappointed. Besides, it's inappropriate in this situation. Not to ask, but to be entitledly expecting that you should have admittance. This is not a public tour. This is not a museum.
Google Earth lets you see the outside and the top. Leave it at that.
Sometimes I check out my childhood home on Google maps, and once it went on the market I got to see photos of the remodelled inside on Zillow. But I would never insert myself into the lives of the people who live in it currently, just observe from a distance. (And judge them for cutting down the trees we planted.)
The very fact that they got angry when the OPs declined is a red flag in itself - and they'd already had a mooch, allowed by their mother, who felt 'pressured' to do so. NTA. The daughters & the neighbour were the AHs. #Entitlement also showed in their angry reactions. YTAers are AHs, too.
You can't just go knocking on people's doors because we've grown scared of strangers, but if the neighbour asked in advanced and explained why it's important for that people l wouldn't mind letting them in for 5 minutes. If you read BP comments section or (way worse) Reddit, you realise how dehumanised we're becoming. Nobody does anything for anyone but then they're shocked when people won't show any kindness. If you think of how dystopian society is already, we're only making it worse.
There's a big difference between "never doing anything for anyone" and "not trying to do things that anyone in any saftey advisory highly reccomends you don't for your own physical saftey." Many city boards advise that its not safe to OPEN THE DOOR for strangers, because people HAVE been killed like that. You are free to make your own choices regarding your saftey, but negativpey judging someone for avoiding what is considered by many people a "common sense saftey risk." Is just plain ridiculous. Many people call out ANYONE, not even just on reddit, who let's a stranger in.
Load More Replies...When we (hubs and I) went back to the states for my dad's funeral, I took him on a tour of the place (very small hamlet) I grew up. We stopped by the house my dad built and looked at it from the road. Even though it was my sister's friend who bought it, I had no desire to knock on the door and ask to look around. That's just weird!
Wth is wrong with the person who said YTA. Those people don't own the house anymore. Sure anyone has rights to feel nostalgic, but the inside of someone else's house is a private space. If I'm feeling nostalgic about my ex, I'm not gonna try to get in his pants.
Sometimes I drive by the house I grew up in, when I visit my parents in another town. I even feel creepy parking in front and looking at it for a minute :D
That's because you have respect for other people's privacy, which apparently is becoming less and less common.
Load More Replies...It would be one thing if they'd perhaps written a letter in advance asking if the current owners would mind a quick visit (they obviously know the address), with a willingness to accept either answer. But as far as I'm concerned, it is strange and rude to show up on anyone's doorstep unexpected and assuming you will be let in, unless it is a close friend or family member who explicitly has invited drop-ins (and even then, they should still be able to say, "I'm sorry, this isn't a good time," with no hard feelings. Also, I'd never want to go back inside my own childhood home. I want to remember it the way it was and not be disappointed by changes.
what a ghastly neighbour - getting angry at you , shows that she is really a person without boundaries.
I had a guy show up saying he owned my house way back when and kind of look like he expected me to let him in to tour the place. I was home alone. I ended the conversation quickly and shut the door, he looked irritated. Being a former inhabitant of a home does not grant you a permanent right of easement.
I still live near one of the houses I grew up in. Lots of great memories. But I'd never stop and ask for someone to let me in. Nor would I be cool with some random stranger asking to come inside my own house.
I used to live in an old house on the countryside with my parents, one day this little old lady came by with her daughter. She was born and raised in that house and wanted to see how it looked now. She talked about the history of the house, people had died in every room of that house. My parents weren't happy but i wasn't suprised, me and my sisters had already experienced things we couldn't explain but the worst was yet to come and i didn't know that yet. That house wad haunted as hell and i had some of the worst experiences in my life there were i still think i was close to die 2 times. I usually don't like talking about it cause it makes me feel so uneasy and still have nightmares about the things i experienced in that haunted old house.
Since the OP mentioned his mom, he's probably either a minor or an adult living at home with a parent/parents. Either way he doesn't have the authority to allow strangers into a property that doesn't belong to him, without permission. And, if you ask to view a stranger's home out of the blue, and they say no, the only polite response is "okay, thank you anyway. I respect your decision." Getting mad about it would only confirm to me the wisdom of my choice to say no.
My dad did this. We'd bought an old church to try and convert it into a house, but ran out of money and had to sell it. 15 years later, he decided to confidently storm down the hill and ask the new owners to see the inside. I tried to warn him not to and fully expected them to tell us to f**k off, but unexpectedly, they immediately hit it off over the drive dad had put in and ended up giving us both a full tour! They even exchanged phone numbers. That said, I wouldn't ever expect this is to happen normally. If people aren't comfortable with the idea, leave them alone. It's their home at the end of the day. We just got lucky.
Here we go again. What the hell makes people believe you owe anything to your neighbours? Jesus Christ! They are just people that happen to live next door! Somebody up there said OP should have let the daughters visit the house because the neighbour knew them! So? I don't care who the neighbour knows! I wouldn't even let my neighbours in, unless I knew them very well and I had a great relationship with them. It's not because of the risk, but privacy. I don't want strangers in my house, judging my stuff and my decoration! Why should I open the door to let visitors in out of the blue?
One: Yeah, this is creepy. Drive-by is the only acceptable way to check out an old house you used to live in. - Two: that one commenter is wrong about people forgetting what their home looked like. I'm sure some people do but some people remember. I remember the layout of every place I've ever lived since being able to have memories, and I've moved around a lot ... and I'm older. Not saying the ladies should have gone inside, just saying not everyone's memory works the same
Look man, I have nothing against it if you want to ask. Just accept the no without question.
Load More Replies...Awesome. Hopefully if that does ever happen to you it is actually the owners... and you don't end up on TV being mocked after being assaulted/murdered/kidnapped because "who in their right mind would let a stranger into their home?! You arent even supposed to open the door for them!" I'm not being sarcastic. Genuinely hoping that never happens to you.
Load More Replies...I don't get the big deal show them the house we have lived in lots of places in US and Germany - our fave was my nanas while she sold it during her lifetime it was the house my father lived in as a teen, it was the house that no matter where we lived we always saw her for 20 plus years even with us moving every 3-4yrs that was address of record our mainstay we have gone back twice to visit with the new owners (it's been sold twice since my nana sold it) each new owner made changes to the inside and outside but the nostalgia remains it brings back great memories and latest owner even passed along the fire place mantle to my dad when my dad mentioned that his father had handcarved it (it was in the garage they were renovating the home taking it from 60s colonial to more farm house vibe) we also have had the knock on the door asking for a tour of course we let them in - as a military fam rarely were our homes owned by us - a home is owned by many thru the memories it contains
They knew the address, why not ask first instead of turning up out of the blue? That's just rude.
Load More Replies...My uncle and his wife ended up buying my childhood home when my mother downsized as my sister and I had moved out. 10 years later it is sad to go back and see it as they completely gutted the place and changed everything. Knocked down walls, built extensions. It is no longer the house I grew up in and any sign of my deceased fathers work is long gone.
Nowadays you can often look on Zillow to see what a house looks like if it's been sold in the last few years
The three daughters visit every so often to see if the basement has been remodeled. There used to be four daughters...
My father did that. He sold house, the new owner sold it later to another person. My father asked that person if he could come and see. Also offered to bring pictures how it looked when he lived there (He documented all changes he has done there). They said yes and spend whole Saturday going through whole house and yard and comparing the pictures and changes. It is not creepy if you offer something (pictures how it looked long time ago) and let the owner find the best time for visit.
When it's been a loving family home that was there for all your childhood we always have memories of it and want to reminise. My mother recently sold her dad's home which he had been in since 1956, she had many happy positive memories there and often says she would love to see what the new owners do with the place. Now me I would not advise going to visit old family homes as I actually feel it will 1) devalue your memories to an extent, its not the same place it was in your family, 2) it can actually cause rage if something that you hold key to your family life there has been dramatically changed. I put it to you this way, imagine an Artist painting on Canvas. If he paints over an old painting is it the same painting?
i like how the YTA said if they can make peoples day better by doing nothing then they will, yet they went ahead and ruined my day with that comment.
I understand if you want to see your old house from the outside. But intruding someone else's home sounds weird. That's somebody else's HOME now. It's like the difference between seeing your ex on the street and waving at them, or asking their current partner for a free ride with them for the sake of nostalgy. For me it just sounds crazy.
I had a great chance to see my childhood home but the difference is that the day I drove by, it was having an open house on sale! So it was great because it was set up for strangers to look at. It was surreal and a great moment, but I think people need to realize that once it's not your house any longer, you're not entitled to be let inside. The neighbor is super nosy and entitled for offering it without permission.
So rude to just show up and expect people to let you into their private home just because you lived there once upon a time. It would be one thing to go and ask if you could see it at a set time and day ahead of time, but not expect it that moment. And if people say no, just accept it. Not everyone likes strangers in their private area.
We've seen this twice; Landlady showed up at the little cabin that our family of five rented expecting to stay with us. 2) The guy next door had sold his house but showed up still thinking he owned it. The renters called my husband to come 'fix it'
Been there. The previous owners of my house called the real estate agent that handled the sale. Their son, then 22, and mentally very handicapped, wanted to video the inside of his childhood home for a project. I said no.
Nope. Not even family is invited into my home. If you don't actually live here, you may not come in unexpectedly. Thank goodness hubby is fine with that restriction too especially since it's his family that lives nearby while mine are on the other side of the planet. This is our private messy little refuge from the big bad world where we don't have to "put on appearances" like the big outside world expects.
The YTA comments are wild. You are not required too let ANYONE for ANY REASON into your home, least of all someone YOU, the current owner, do not know. Nor are you required to justify yourself. If a neighbor starts offering entry to YOUR home, they are automatically the a*****e, and more so if they start giving you s**t for not allowing them to dictate what you do with your home. Almost every house sold in the past 30 odd years has interior photos posted online anyway. I understand the inclination to nostalgia and curiosity, but getting pissed off that a stranger won't permit you to go touring YOUR home is batshit insane.
There’s nothing wrong with asking to see the house but op has every right to refuse and it should have been accepted with good grace. My sister has an old Victorian and gets requests occasionally. One time, it was a 90 year old man and his daughter. He had grown up in the house and his family lived there for about seventy years from the 1920s. He had great stories that explained some of the eccentricities of the house and a tie in to a local scandal about the owners before his family. Another time, four mennonites in hats and beards knocked on the door because they wanted to check out the workmanship of the shelving one of their sons just built. Fun stuff.
Being "nice" about your home is overrated. Absolutely be "mean" because you own it and NO ONE has a RIGHT to enter, and they were being mean for getting mad. I would have asked the neighbor if they would take the sisters of a tour of their own home, since as a neighbor house they would have just as much nostalgia about that place.
These days I would not let anyone in that I don't know. If and when we sell our home, I won't allow any open houses unless it's empty at the time because I've read too many stories of undesirables using open house days to see what's worth stealing.
If the neighbour has a key to your house ask for it back, I wouldn't be surprised if she told them to come back when she knows you're out to show them around without your permission.
I’m kind of on the other side of this, but with a twist. Several years ago I visited the town where I was born, and the townhouse we lived in there (we owned the whole row of three, lived in one and rented out the other two). The row of houses was at the beginning of the residential area around the corner from the small downtown square, convenient for my father, who was a pharmacist and owned the local drugstore on the square, and the first floor had been converted into offices, with apartments on the second and third floors and storage for the office in the basement. The first floor was a law office, and I asked if I could have a look inside because I used to live there. Since it was an office and not a home, it was a less intrusive request. Anyway, the configuration of rooms was the same, though they were now a front office/reception area and both of the lawyers’ offices instead of a living room, dining room, and kitchen. They were actually quite interested in hearing some of the history of the house. A lot was changed, but they had converted a section of what used to be the kitchen (it was a BIG eat-in kitchen) into a coffee station—-and hadn’t changed the flooring, so I told them that red and gray linoleum tiles were already in the house from when we moved in back in 1967 (and are the reason I really prefer old fashioned linoleum tiles to the modern version). They were actually kind of tickled that an older feature of the house had been preserved. So I did revisit an old home of mine, but because it was now an office instead of a home, I feel it was more acceptable than trying to get inside someone’s house.
I live five blocks from my old house and walk by every now and then: never would I walk up the steps and ask to see inside! I don't let strangers into my house (which used to be a rental, so imagine the potential traffic!)
We took a trip two years ago so my wife could see where I grew up. We went by my old home and pulled off the street so we could check it out from across the street. I couldn't imagine knocking on the door and asking to go inside.
Well, my mother sold the house I grew up in about eight years ago, and it was sad for all our family. She had that house for almost 50 years, so lots of memories! But anyway, even though I still live in town, very close to that house, it would never occur to me to knock on the current owners’s door and ask to look inside! That would just feel weird! Likewise, I would find it very off-putting if some total stranger showed up at my house asking to look inside. No. And that OP’s neighbor sounds really presumptuous and inconsiderate!
If I wanted to see the inside of my childhood homes, I would at least write to the current owners letting them know when I would be around and asking politely to look inside. But just showing up at the door isn't good manners.
Soon, I’ll have to sell my house - which I love - because I’ve been an expat who’s going back to my original country. I am sure that, if I ever come back to my expat country, I will think about asking to see it again. I believe I wouldn’t even see their decoration. I would see my decoration back then…
The original owners of our home (and we are the 3rd family to have lived here since) has done this several times to us, over the past 25 yrs. that we've owned the house. The 1st time, I relented and let them have a look inside, but never more (and they've tried a couple of more times to "see how things are now"). Frankly, I am not comfortable having strangers in my home questioning why my husband made renovations, etc. They are taking being "entitled" to an awful, uncomfortable level, IMO. My husband & I have lived in 4 different states and have never attempted to barge in our former homes to have a lookaround.
There are three homes from my childhood (mine and both of my grandparents - 50 years ago) where if the house went on the market, I would do the 600 mile round trip to go to an open house.
I want to do this very thing when I go next summer to the city I lived in for 25 years. I lived in the house for 20 years selling it in 2000. I won't be accompanied by an old neighbor but I have some good stories about the houses history. I'm 75 and don't look like serial killer....I'll knock on the door and see what happens. I have to agree with a couple of the remarks here...especially the one where reddit commentors won't do anything unless there's something in it for them....
My brother and I went by our parents old house. The new owner saw us looking at his house and opened the door and asked if we needed anything. We said our parents used to live there. He was very gracious and invited us in to see the renovations. He had done some lovely renovations and we were very happy to see the place looking so good. I was also able to answer some gardening questions for him.
Hmm. Well, here's a counterpoint: my family lived in a house in Brooklyn, an old Victorian that my dad had bought in the 1950s and lovingly restored. We sold it in 1978. In 2003, my mom and my sister were visiting me (I'd moved back to NYC years earlier) and we went out there to see the house. No one was home, so we were just looking at it from the outside. But then the person who owned it came home - she had bought it from the person we'd sold it to in like 1981 or something (the guy we sold it to didn't have it for very long) and she *immediately* invited us in to look around. My mom and my older sister were both incredibly touched about seeing their old home - my mom had lived there as a newlywed up until 14 years of marriage, and my older sister had lived there from birth to age 13 (I was only 7 when we left so was less nostalgic). The kicker was that apparently my dad used to come around YEARLY to see his house and she always let him in. So it's not the craziest ask IMHO...
NTA. I finally found the home my baby sitter lived when she was watching me in the late sixties. I remember her peonies, raspberries and this cool ravine that ran down to a creek. I was probably 3-5yo. I've driven by it a couple times and toyed with sending a letter asking if I could visit. No, just no. It's creepy. Now if it went up for sale, heck yeah I'm going to the open house.
Never been refused a tour. Couple of times as former occupant and a couple of times as enthusiastically interested in design and layout. People used to stop for hitch hikers and vehicle breakdowns too and some still do. Yes is yes and no is no; both are good.
NTA. I did something like that when I was maybe 18. We moved from my childhood semi-detached home when I was 13, we had lived there since I was 2. I don't remember now why I did it, or how I got the guts to do it. I'm usually very shy and rather scared of strangers. I went by it 5-10 years after we moved away and was let in to walk around. I have always looked younger than I am, and probably looked shy and harmless, so it probably felt like low-risk to let me in. If they had said No, I would of course have said "OK, thank you anyway. Bye." I'd never push or demand.
When the previous owners of our house died within a few weeks of each other, the family called and asked to visit the house. Since several of the grandchildren had recently been students of mine, it didn't feel strange letting them in.
Many years ago some friends of mine owned part of a fifteenth-century castle and it happened that a relative of the old owner showed up to see it again. They let him in. When, for reasons of age, they were forced to sell it, one of their nieces years later showed up to the new owner to see an important place from her childhood again, and they let her in. My mother also asked to see an old family home again with the new owner and he let her in. Sometimes, some places have a great sentimental value for those who had to sell them for various reasons, or for their family members, and I think it is polite to allow them to be seen again.
I think people used to do this more in years past. Nowadays people aren't as open to letting strangers in their house. I stopped by my grandma's old house that I hadn't been in since I was a child. I knocked on the door & explained it was my grandma's and I hadn't seen it since I was a child. I hoped she would invite me in but I could see she was uncomfortable so I asked if I could take a few outdoor pics. She said she was just renting & I needed to go down the street &ask the owners. I said OK but took a couple of pics as I retirement to the car. Didn't see what that would hurt.
I mean it's within their right to not let strangers within their home. However, I have personal attachments to childhood homes and my grandparent's house. Not being allowed into a space I have so many memories in would be upsetting.
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