Never seen a more obvious nta before. No one should be forced to have kids - she was nta from the title alone and the post just made it more clear that she's nta

I have some experience with adoption and indigenous populations and OP is so much NTA. She might be the most stable one in the family, but that is not saying much. Yes, sister is in such active addiction that she used while pregnant, but look also at the grandparents -- at odds with their own community, badgering and pressuring their daughter, and living in unsafe hoarding condition. They are no position to demand anything. So, OP doesn't have the age/experience, the income, AND lacks helpful family support AND is estranged from community cultural supports thanks to her parents. If OP wanted to help in the name of ICWA, maybe she could be the member of her family to rebuild some connection to her cultural community so that someone there could start fostering the baby. (But the onus is still mostly on the social worker and community outreach workers, naturally.)

The normal age minimum to adopt a child is 25 years for a reason. The op shouldn't give in to the pressure. she's too young and her and the child would struggle financially for the foreseeable future.

Herartbreaking but NO. Again NO. If it is wrong for you, it is wrong for the child.

Babies in the foster system are the most likely to be adopted through a public adoption (if this is US). That's the best outcome for her. As you've seen private adoptions are often transactional and are less well regulated, so there are a lot of creepy people buying children. There are plenty of reputable and responsible agencies, but you have to rsearch. The state will be working with their own agency or with agencies that have been vetted. The younger the child the quicker they are usually adopted, and the state can make sure she's placed with someone ready for any medical issues from the addiction etc. Stalling this process just makes it more likely that she won't be in a stable home, either from family interference or because you'd have to research and vet agencies yourself. Don't complicate the life of this littlengirl whose life is already off to a difficult start.

To clarify: the young lady is Diné, I think, which is the endonym for Navajo. The Indian Child Welfare Act states, in part, that Native American children must be adopted by Native Americans, whenever possible. So, the folks who have been reaching out to the OP offering money for the baby, even if their intent is honestly to adopt her, are violating Federal Law. Since the ICWA is involved, I'm surprised that CPS hasn't already contacted the Navajo Nation Council. If they haven't, the OP should. The Navajo are justly known for their strong sense of family and tribe, and I'm sure she could find somebody to adopt her niece.

Registered Nurse here: I worked in a Navajo Hospital and understand. I also have a married relative that adopted the child of an addict and had a horrible time raising that child.That child is now an adult and is not able to keep a job or stay off substance abuse. You do not have a support system and will NOT be able to work AND care for this child at the same time. Do not destroy your future as your sister destroyed hers.

To YTA and family, just stop it. To a few others on here, she is not being selfish, she is thinking highly of the child. She doesn't feel she can give the child a great life especially a child that already has an addiction problem. That takes someone with a lot of training. She is showing a maturity that is lacking in today's world. I am an older woman (ok OLD boomer) and there is no way in hell that I would be able to something like that and I raised 3 kids plus plenty of neighbor kids. lol She isn't saying she doesn't want a child to revolve around, she is saying she is not ready and not equipped at this time for a special needs child. That is okay.

I wonder if there isn't a Dine go-between who could approach the family and community? Maybe, the family would be willing to be in contact with you if told about you by someone less directly involved?

NTA. Sounds like the parents are toxic and she needs to walk away. Should she give in now, they will never leave her alone.

NTS. Never take on other people's responsibilities or listen to the opinions of fools

OP is 21 years old and not responsible for her sister's mistakes. Her family is always going to be begging her for something, she should distance herself as soon as possible.

Wow!!! To EVERYONE saying this young, intelligent woman is an AH because she is telling people, on a random social media ANONYMOUS site, that she will not sell or adopt out her niece HERE?! Are you fkg serious? WTH is wrong with you? Do you really think that THIS is the proper place to make contact with random adoptive 'parents'? More like predators and pedophiles. Christ I hope NONE OF YOU ever have kids you are responsible for. She was looking for advice, NOT looking to adopt out or sell a baby. If you gave her grief, there's something seriously wrong with you.

I'm betting dollars to donuts that if she DID take the kid, this would be followed by endless relentless criticism about how she's not doing it right, etc etc. Her whole family sounds awful.

OP is too young for all that this will bring, and yes I know there are women who have their OWN babies at a younger age. This is her life, why should she give it up because her sister made a mess of hers. No parent has the right to demand another one of their children pick up the cr@p another made of their life. NTA.

NTA. She is too young; the baby is an addict baby and she already admits she doesn't even want kids and would feel resentful. The kid would grow up knowing it was unwanted by her and that would only make things worse for the kid. Do those YTA people believe that's a better situation than the foster system? No one should be demanded to care for a child that isn't theirs.

There are thousands upon thousands of couples waiting to adopt and would be thrilled to take this baby into their family. A family member of mine adopted a baby under very similar circumstances. There have been so many challenges that I cannot imagine how they would've done it without having two of them to share the load and support one another. The child is in school now and has tons of educational and medical support, but even navigating those systems takes alot of time, patience, and legwork. The parents are in their early 40s now and I honestly don't think they could've managed everything they have at age 21. Even with everything they've had to deal with, they would not trade that little girl for anything and they love her with all their hearts. The truth is, your family needs to let go of being selfish about what they feel is "the right thing to do" and instead, acknowledge what is best for the baby.

You are 21, you should not be expected to take on a child ...especially if you don't want one. It's your choice absolutely. I can't even wrap my brain around anything or anyone that would suggest otherwise. This is sad but not your problem. This child should be given a good start and if that means an adoption through CPS, then so be it. Not to be pushed upon a 21 year old just starting out.

NTA. 21 straight out of college and working. It sounds like you are getting your life together, and doing a good job of it, but you need to be responsible for yourself first. Being stable alone doesn't mean you have the capacity to support a child as well. You are not ready to be a parent, especially to a child with additional needs, and you seem to be aware of that. Being a parent to this child would be a full time, very demanding job second job, and one you are not equipt to take on alone. If your family is unwilling to see the child in foster care, then an open adoption may be the best option.

You didn’t give birth and this is not on you. They will have to accept whatever choice you make. We are Indigenous as well. From what I understand they will have to try to place the baby in a safe home of a family safe family who is also DENE. If your parents are so concerned, then they should adopt her. I hate to be so blunt but, “Not your circus, not your monkey.”

That is not your problem. Tell parents to take the baby. Live your life.

NTA the child should be given to someone with experience of taking care of dr*g addicted children. Your parents have been cut off from their culture for unnamed reasons. Your older sister is unwed convicted addicted mother who had an addicted baby. If she cared she would have gotten treatment before now. You should be so proud of what You have done in your young life. Your life is just beginning. It is not your responsibility to take this child who needs more resources than you have. Your sister, if you kept this child will never get clean but she will break the child's heart, & break your heart with broken promises. And be in and out of your life. You have been very responsible at a young age. Go be a responsible for your life. It doesn't sound like you have had much support but against the odds You made your way out. Be very proud of what you have accomplished.

As a special ed. teacher,, a fetus introduced to d***s has their development affected for the rest of their lives. This won't be a 'lets get them off the d***s, and then they'll be fine' kind of thing. Even foster parents who specialize in 'd**g babies' have a very challenging time.

The ICWA doesn't apply in this situation. If they have been cut off from their native community and excommunicated then the druggie sister needs to deal with her own life, and baby. Just because a stranger deems someone to be the "safest" choice of caregiver means nothing if the person didn't asked to be evaluated AS A CAREGIVER! She should go live her life, just like I did. When I got away from all the "unsafe" lifestyle choices of my family members I found the damage they caused me mentally took over a decade to get over (hoarder, child molester, predatory, religious abuse, mental abuse, lying, chosen ignorance, conspiracy theorists, and narcissistic disorders)

NTA, please do not adopt unless you are willing 100% to care and give your time and life for the child, and provide a stable family, you are not, yes you are capable but then again that's not 100% your choice, with time you might end up resenting her for all the missed opportunities you will miss, either your parent adopt her, or she gets adopted by a loving caring family that want a child, yes you love her, but she is not your responsibility, if your niece ends up in foster care system and gets treated badly it is solely the mother's fault not yours, she choose d***s, she choose criminal life and she abandoned her infant, it's not the aunt's fault, besides you are still young you still have your life a head of you, do not bind yourself to a child you didn't choose to bring to their world, give her away for adoption for loving families

Don't take the baby just because you're family. Your resentment will be felt, even when you don't say anything. This is not your problem to solve. Tell them "No. Stop talking about it. I'm hanging up. If you continue I'm going to block you." And do it. Also, find a therapist to help you work through all of this. You will not make a good parent, doing this for all of the wrong reasons.

Non US here. What does DENE and ICWA mean?

NTA. You didn't put your sister on heroine, Your parents should have kept a better eye on her so it is their failure to prevent your sister from going off the rails that has caused this predicament. They need to step up take care of the baby, not you, as a sort of penance for losing the child's mother

If her parents gave a damn about THEIR Grandkid they would clean up their discusting house so that THEY could take her. Also tired of this BS Native American c**p that only they can raise their own. They are doing a wonderful job considering they have a very high rate of d**g and alcohol abuse!!! Maybe the best shot is someone else outside the tribe take the kid.

This screams fake to me. Why would parents not take the child? Oh they are hoarders. Why can't the father help? Oh he's done one. Why can't their tribe help out? Oh they fell out with them. Bullshittery of the highest order.

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You don't want to adopt the baby. You don't want it to go into the system. You don't want anybody else to adopt the baby. Wtf DO you want?

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OP seems only whining about the situation, but don't accept any opinion or solution. Even if their nation doesn't like her parents, since they are so caring, maybe they would take care of an innocent baby. And the baby have the best chance if she gets away from this family. Not TA, but definitely as the last comment says, she wants to be a martyr. Which is okay, you just should not b.tching about it this much.