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37 Women Share What Things Spotted In A Man’s Apartment Were Instant Turn-Offs
Some men have the interior design preferences of a monk living in an isolated cave. This is all well and good if that is truly your goal, but if you are bringing someone home, it’s pretty important to remember that how you live is a pretty direct reflection of you.
Someone asked women “What would you consider a “red flag” when going to a guy’s apartment for the first time?” and people shared their thoughts. So get comfortable, if you are a man, perhaps take some notes, upvote your favorites and add your own ideas and experiences in the comments below.
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#1
A huge red flag is having your fridge full of alcohol with little to no food inside.
RELATED:
#2
No toilet skid marks plzzzz... Why is this too common :(
SmooshieFries 1 week ago
And no pee on the seat or floor and def no curly hairs either. Ugh, the bathroom where I work is all gender and gets nasty
#3
Make sure there aren’t condom wrappers or used condoms out. Wish I could say that this was common sense...
#4
Wash your sheets and towels.
I know a guy who believed (I hope it’s not still true) towels are clean because he uses them after the shower when he is clean. So he didn’t wash them. They smelled.
#5
Have food at your house. This is true for entertaining any people at your house in general, but especially on dates, a dude with an empty fridge, no snacks, no tea or coffee or beverages to offer just looks empty handed and unprepared.
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 1 week ago
And don't stock your fridge like Jeffrey Dahmer did, that is a definite red flag.
#6
Keep a trash can with a lid in the bathroom. In case she’s got her period, she won’t feel self-conscious throwing stuff away. Not really a red flag to not have one, just a nice touch.
#7
Idky but I hate seeing futons, dirty dishes, and the smell of old w**d, a*s, hot d**k and cocoa butter.
I also don’t wanna see Jergins next to any source of tissue.
#8
Clean your bathroom and don't just have the necessities in there (i.e. toilet paper and soap). Get a trash can and a nice(r) shower curtain. also, for the love of god, don't keep adding water to an empty soap bottle. go buy another one for $0.98.
#9
Open the windows! Get some fresh air while you check all of these boxes!
#10
I have seen The bachelor pad with no furniture too many times and *I hate it*. There is only one chair (So I can't sit down anywhere), there are no blankets, pillows or any other thing that could make the place comfy. The walls are bare and a lone tv/gaming console is all you'll find in the living room. If you're really lucky there's cutlery and plates for 2 people and it probably doesn't match. Kitchen appliances are generally non-existent as well.
It screams immaturity to me and means that I will not be comfortable in that space. It is not being "minimalistic" it's just not giving a f**k about your living space and comfort of guests.
Not sure I'd call it a red flag, but for sure something that wouldn't make me want to come back.
#11
Don’t hang framed pictures of you kissing your mom on the lips. I’m still skeeved about that one.
Original Kinkster 5 days ago
It was a thing when going to bed. Until I turned 9 or 10 or so ..
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Jonathan Setter 4 days ago
so the one her giving me a blowie should def come down then? Who knew....
Erik Hedenskog 1 week ago
A quick peck on the lips? That's wrong? It's not like there's tounge in there. You people are damaged.
#12
Put your mattress in a proper frame. Nothing screams bachelor hobo like a floor mattress.
#13
If people cant take 10 minutes to tidy up before they have company over that's a red flag for me. It doesn't have to be spotless but at least be respectful of the fact that other people may not want to hang out in your filth. If they have pets is there hair everywhere and are they being taken care of? Mainly if you're a tidy person it probably isn't a good match with someone that's fairly messy. Think about if that's how you want to live if things work out.
Obviously look for weird things like a sex dungeon (unless you're into that kind of stuff) or like secret rooms where serial killers would store their bodies. If there are any rooms that lock from the outside, get out.
The Doom Song 1 week ago
Yeah I definitely make sure the door is shut when it comes to my Serial killer room
#14
Two ply toilet paper and a clean towel to wipe my hands after washing up.
#15
Nothing wrong with having a bed on the floor but make sure ur pillows aren’t f****n yellow. Put some damn sheets and pillow cases on your bed! Get a comforter! Too many beds I’ve seen looking like they will give me an STD.
#16
Lots of great comments here. I think I would just add proper sheets, pillows and towels. It’s nice to go to a guys house and he has good bedding.
Also - make sure there is extra TP in the bathroom. And I would recommend buying some body wash/soap, shampoo and conditioner. Nothing too feminine (you don’t want her to think you have women over all the time) but it’s the worst when you shower at a guys house and they only have 3 in 1.
#17
I'm a man so I will share my point of view when going to a *woman*'s apartment. If there is a mess in the bathroom and generally in the rest of the apartment, it's a turn off. Also the smell of the apartment. Room fragrance is very cheap and can be found everywhere.
I still have PTSDs of my sister's bathroom. Don't ask.
Manic Mama 1 week ago
Room fragrance can also cause asthmatics to have asthma attacks. It's not a solution for everybody.
#18
Buckets full of syringes out in the open are sketchy, nobody likes that.
#19
I’m not the fanciest, most organized person, so I don’t judge too much based on how a man’s home looks. As long as the normal bases are covered, you pass in my eyes. I’d say just go through and make sure everything looks nice, like you would anytime you’re expecting new company. Clean out the toilet bowl, put away the dishes etc. I wouldn’t worry about changing your decor- your home is an extension of yourself, so you shouldn’t have to change things decoration-wise just because someone else might want you to, unless you’re planning on them moving in. Just be yourself and let your space reflect that :) If she’s really into you for you, she won’t be worried about whether or not your house has a pretty aesthetic.
#20
Keep it clean and hide pictures of your wife.
#21
We live and die by the bathroom.
- Fresh roll of toilet paper
- Empty trash can with a plastic bag liner
- Fresh towels
- Scrub toilet
- Scrub sink
- Do a quick swiffer to pick up dust/pubes
Other notes:
- Have a candle lit in the house at least one hour beforehand
- Fresh bedsheets in case she stays over
- Empty kitchen sink
- Ample snacks
EDIT: Formatting, and to add this: Chances are the girl probably has her mind made up about you before even coming over. Not having a certain drink/snack or the right candle isn't going to make or break your chances of f*****g. But keeping clean and having the fridge stocked are just normal practices of life, not "trying hard". It's an easy way to tell who has guests over and who doesn't.
#22
A mini trashcan in the bathroom is always nice to see. And a nice smell.
#23
No left over artifacts from past relationships still displayed.
#24
I literally dated a 34 year old man that didn’t have a couch. He told me he threw it out a month prior because his cat wouldn’t stop peeing on it. Instead of training the cat, he threw out the couch. So, have a fully furnished home and don’t be an idiot I would say (haha). I sat in a lawn chair and counted the minutes until I could GTFO.
Breadcrumb. 1 week ago
I could see myself using lawn chairs temporarily. No point in buying a new couch until your cat gets better. Cat probably was sick..
#25
Guys who don’t have enough pillows/have bad pillows. Why is it that F**k boys never have more than one pillow? Or if they do then they are lumpy and hard? And the bedding is invariably some sort of check blue/red pattern.
Also anything, ANYTHING, that is an obvious gift from an ex. Not saying bin it, but maybe wait to introduce it to your place. No woman wants to walk into a room and realise it’s been lovingly accessorised by her predecessor.
During my single days I quickly learned that guys who didn’t have nice bedding, usually weren’t the kind worth hanging around for. I wonder sometimes if it’s a subconscious reflection of their emotional unavailability, kind of a reverse feng shui - they weren’t ready for an intimate connection with a partner so they didn’t make space for one in their private space aka only one pillow.
#26
If he doesn’t have anything. I briefly dated someone who just didn’t have anything. No books, no furniture besides his bed and desk and a chair, no posters, no nothing. Minimalism is great and all, but it’s nice to see a somewhat personalized space. I don’t know if this has any correlation, but he was one of the weirdest dudes I’ve ever met.
Erla Zwingle 1 week ago
I think it has a very tight correlation, since you ask. Sounds like the next step is having some products for wiping fingerprints.
#27
Honestly really bare rooms, just having like one recliner and an xbox in your living room is meh. general mess, just try to make it clean and comfortable. i’d also like to note that sometimes guys who live in super barren apartments are very hot but also probably have a s**t personality so do with that what you will.
#28
A few people have mentioned photos, general rule is - Art/print on the wall, a couple of family/friend photos in a frame on shelf.
Lots of people have also mentioned smell, you sound very clean but I would warn against too many fake smells, eg too much febreze as it can become over powering. Opening the windows every so often to keep things fresh with the occasional spray in the toilet is all you need!
#29
A nice blanket would be good. And cleanliness. Also at least for me, smell is a huge thing.
Torben Møller-Nielsen 1 week ago
How can not displaying a "nice" blanket be a red flag? That would actually be a red flag for me, if someone made that a problem.
#30
Make sure the bathroom is clean. Sink and countertop should be neat and tidy. Toilet should have no remnants of use. Shower should have no pink marks or stains. Make sure you have fresh towels in case she decides to shower. CHANGE YOUR SHEETS. Make sure all your bedding is fresh. Clear off the couch and any chairs so that you don’t have to awkwardly move things around for her to sit down when she’s already there. No dishes in the sink. The place doesn’t have to be perfectly clean, but make it clean enough so that 1. She’s comfortable 2. She doesn’t think you can’t take care of yourself.
#31
Its a red flag if there is no person items. No personalized posters/wall hangings, no personal decor touches. It should be cozi and give me a good sense of who you are and what you enjoy. You walk into my bfs place and you see his video games and posters of games he loves. My room you see my books, craft supplies, stacks of notebooks, my instruments. You basically dont want a cold creepy bareny stinson crash pad. Also, dont have boxes of condoms laying out or any sex toys.
#32
I guess organization is always nice. A turn on for me is watching a hobbie displayed nicely, I think it shows passion. For example an area for playing music, or a good and nice place to watch movies with a good organization of movies, even a nice setup for working, or even playing games. Don't know it makes it interesting to me.
#33
It's really just preference, but here's my list, lots from memory:
- no sheets on the bed
- only one pillow on the bed
- no trash can in the bathroom
- sink hasn't been washed (drain is dirty, line of s**m around the sides, etc.)
- paper dishes, man, don't be wasteful!
- marijuana supplies just out in the open. like just keep your grinder somewhere other than your computer desk, please? and on that note, if your bong looks worse than a sewer, I'm out, and I don't even smoke w**d
- nowhere to put my shoes, or, even worse "just leave them on". please let me take off my shoes by having a shoe rack/boot tray and letting my feet touch a *clean* floor
- no vegetables in the fridge/freezer or the pantry. please eat vegetables.
Bones 1 week ago
1. Men don't really NEED a trashcan in the bathroom. I do, but how is not having one a Red Flag. 2. Only one pillow. I sleep with 4 pillows, if I only needed one to sleep with. That's all I'd have. 3. If you don't like marijuana, don't smoke it, but he can have out anything he wants. (If it smells that a different story. 4. What the hello is a "boot tray?" I don't have a shoe rack for guests, take your shoes off at the door and leave them there. 5. No Veg? Really If women are like OP, I'm happy I'm a gay man.
#34
Your place doesn't have to be perfect. A few decorations, some items that show your interest, a couple throw pillows would be nice. Don't try too hard. Just be yourself.
If your goal is to make someone want to F you, your apartment won't make a lot of a difference. You will. How you talk to her will be the deciding factor.
If you want a girl to start a relationship, then you want her to feel comfortable. A throw blanket on your couch is a nice idea. If your place has bare walls, it is less comfortable than with some pictures up. An easy idea is to frame pictures of things from your life, travel photos, pictures of fun times with friends, your family, and maybe some posters or art. This can help her see who you are.
Any questions?
Rinso The Red 1 week ago
"Your place doesn't have to be perfect. A few decorations, some items that show your interest, a couple throw pillows would be nice. Don't try too hard. Just be yourself." Being myself would involve never associating with "throw pillows".
#35
My boyfriends place was so clean when I met him I thought he must have been a serial killer. His clothes was folded perfectly. I think as long as the place is clean you are ok but to perfect and it raises eyebrows.
#36
Cleanliness, and tidiness: clean stacks of things are fine, the odd “thing without a home” in the corner is fine. Hide ratty coats and shoes, close doors to rooms you won’t need. The place doesn’t need to be freshly mopped and gleaming, and shouldn’t smell like cleaners, but shouldn’t look dusty and obvious marks on walls/glass/floors wiped.
Bathroom should be spotless though, so shake out your bath mat, rinse your tub & sink, empty your bin, close/open your shower curtain depending on whether your curtain or shower are dirtier. I also appreciate when counters are clear, with nothing out but soap, since I’m not seeing your toiletries (your toothbrush, what meds you use, how old your facial cleanser bottle is, the brand of your cologne, etc).
Depending on the guy, lack of decor isn’t always surprising, and shouldn’t be a deal breaker. The things that you have should look purposeful and reflect you: throwing in some bright cushions when that isn’t your style looks off and inauthentic. Take some time to look at where you have things (furniture, decor) and rearrange them to see what looks better, move trinkets around, stack some favourite books near your sofa, etc. You’re not staging so much as you’re just making this space obviously “yours”.
Depending on what you’re planning to do, you’ll want to do a quick inventory of useful items: if you’re watching movies, do you have a blanket if she finds your place chilly, do you have a nice clean bowl for popcorn, do you have clean glasses for drinks, etc. If you’re eating: do you have enough clean dishes of the right type/size, flatware, ingredients, condiments (& are they in date?!).
Janissary35680 1 week ago
Reads like it was written by a chatbot imitating the style of Martha Stewart.😄
#37
Take your lotion and Kleenex off of the nightstand you filthy animal.
What do you think ?
Alex Schneider 1 week ago
The way they appreciate and take care for themselves and their surroundings is the way they care for and appreciate you. Even at a ONS,never let someone get the feeling of you still would need a mommy for common sense ,like a clean bath and bed.
Susie Elle 1 week ago (edited)
Guys: if you plan on having women over, whether they be friends, hookups, or anything else - CLEAN YOUR TOILET and HAVE MORE THAN ONE TOILET ROLL! Women need to sit down, and as much as I wish guys would also wipe after peeing, women really need to. Toilet paper runs out way faster than you might think. I was once at a guy friend's place and he had invited another friend together with his girlfriend, and he asked me if one roll of toilet paper would be enough for the entire evening. Hard no.
Je souhaite 1 week ago
Or bring them back to your place where they can drown in toilet paper rolls assuming you have a place of YOUR own
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ElfVibratorGlitter 1 week ago
Biggest thing is the actual toilet. Come on, it takes very little effort to get the turd streaks off the bowl. 🤮
Je souhaite 1 week ago
Now they need to be fair and do a section on the women Red Flags when you go to her place like for example 101 cats and no job LOL
Fellfromthemoon 1 week ago
Too many pets are always a red flag. Too many pets=more than the owner can reasonably take care of.
Load More Replies... Becky Samuel 1 week ago
It sounds like most of these people just want to date women or gay men. No wonder so mny are complaining they can't find a partner. Realistic expectations seem to be in short supply. Just because a man doesn't care for soft furnishings, pictures, and ornaments doesn't make him unworthy of a relationship.
Breadcrumb. 1 week ago
Well, some men make there homes uncomfortable for women so they never spend a second night. They just want the one night stand they don't care what the woman thinks of them after they get them home. It's f**k boy 101.
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Jaeger (Jaeger) 1 week ago
Also, for some reason people don’t think men can have a fashionable house if they’re straight, only if there gay or have gay friends! Not to mention with the raising prices they may not be able to afford the luxury lifestyle you expect! That goes for both genders. (I really hope someone reads this, my thumbs hurt)
sofacushionfort 1 week ago
I’d be amazed at some of the judementality these women inflict on men, but that would pale in comparison with how they judge other women’s homes.
Je souhaite 1 week ago
A lot of these are not even red flags just happy guys living their happy SINGLE lives without someone moving in and controlling every aspect of their lives
Load More Replies... Tyranamar Suess 6 days ago
I once dated a man who was obsessed with a certain Disney female character. He kept talking about her. I went to his apartment and he had drawn cartoons of her and had them all pasted to one wall. He was a pediatrician so I said, aw, your kids drew these for you! Nope. All him. I had to nope outta there.
Veronica Scoggins 1 week ago
If you are a woman looking for a partner, you need someone who has a place to live that says he too is looking for a partner and has taken the time to consider what a partner might like. One chair shows zero consideration. No food or snacks before you come over shows zero consideration. No pillow for you shows zero consideration. If he isn't showing you consideration in the beginning, he damn sure won't two years in. I was in the dating world until my 30s and I am now happily married. Trust me when I say you should pay attention to these red flags from the beginning.
Je souhaite 1 week ago
Or maybe he does not want just any woman moving into his place so he keeps it the way HE likes it ....I mean LOL
Load More Replies... Jaeger (Jaeger) 1 week ago
This whole post is possibly the most Sexist piece of c**p I’ve ever seen. Realistic expectations people! Neither gender has to adhere perfectly to your expectations or your standards! If I have a 3-1 soap, what’s your issue? If I have MY HOME how I like it, if you constantly critique everything. Get the hell out, this is why it’s so hard for men to find a partner, this is what encourages toxic masculinity! I’m a man and my dad was/is like that, it’s horrible. Every day of my life I try to break free of this horrible stereotype! Trying to prove that not all men are bad, and gross… Not to mention no one gives a s**t if a man gets R*ped they just tell them to grow up! Posts like this is what’s wrong with humanity.
Je souhaite 1 week ago
BP staff must be the angriest bunch of fem nazis around
Load More Replies...
Orysha 1 week ago
What's this rubbish poll Justin? Any kind of collection is a concern for women? What I find most concerning in this thread is that these women seem to hate minimalism and think it's a way to spot serial killers. What's all the rage with pillows too?
Je souhaite 1 week ago
Minimalism is a sure sign that you are good with your money and not spending it on every tik tok product ad placement
Load More Replies...
Parmer Engineering 4 days ago
So much social media sickness with all these people. Terms and phrases get thrown around so needlessly that they lose all meaning. Your hang-up, OCD, level of self importance is not another persons red flag. The posts are so absurdly funny.
Lori Beauchamp 1 week ago
How low are people's standards that this thread is actually a thing?
Arcady Royzen 1 week ago
I said this before and will say it again. Any grown up man is the product of his mother or both parents. If you don't teach your boys how to take care of themselves, they never will. On the other hand, anyone who thinks that all women are super clean, great cooks and interior decorators, you must be smoking something very strong. Stop playing stereotypes and start teaching basics from the childhood to both genders
Aurora 6 days ago
So men are entirely incapable of learning things on their own? An adult man has no accountability for the way he is, because he was "just raised that way"? That's a very, very sad way of looking at it.
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Bones 1 week ago
So happy I'm a gay man and don't have to put up with these. If the place is clean (doesn't need to be neat) that's about all I would ask for. (Though a clean towel should be there too, for the clean up afterwards).
XenoMurph 3 days ago
Stereotyping yourself. I've known some guys who had dirty, untidy houses, who just happened to be gay.
Load More Replies... Alex Schneider 1 week ago
The way they appreciate and take care for themselves and their surroundings is the way they care for and appreciate you. Even at a ONS,never let someone get the feeling of you still would need a mommy for common sense ,like a clean bath and bed.
Susie Elle 1 week ago (edited)
Guys: if you plan on having women over, whether they be friends, hookups, or anything else - CLEAN YOUR TOILET and HAVE MORE THAN ONE TOILET ROLL! Women need to sit down, and as much as I wish guys would also wipe after peeing, women really need to. Toilet paper runs out way faster than you might think. I was once at a guy friend's place and he had invited another friend together with his girlfriend, and he asked me if one roll of toilet paper would be enough for the entire evening. Hard no.
Je souhaite 1 week ago
Or bring them back to your place where they can drown in toilet paper rolls assuming you have a place of YOUR own
Load More Replies... ElfVibratorGlitter 1 week ago
Biggest thing is the actual toilet. Come on, it takes very little effort to get the turd streaks off the bowl. 🤮
Je souhaite 1 week ago
Now they need to be fair and do a section on the women Red Flags when you go to her place like for example 101 cats and no job LOL
Fellfromthemoon 1 week ago
Too many pets are always a red flag. Too many pets=more than the owner can reasonably take care of.
Load More Replies... Becky Samuel 1 week ago
It sounds like most of these people just want to date women or gay men. No wonder so mny are complaining they can't find a partner. Realistic expectations seem to be in short supply. Just because a man doesn't care for soft furnishings, pictures, and ornaments doesn't make him unworthy of a relationship.
Breadcrumb. 1 week ago
Well, some men make there homes uncomfortable for women so they never spend a second night. They just want the one night stand they don't care what the woman thinks of them after they get them home. It's f**k boy 101.
Load More Replies... Jaeger (Jaeger) 1 week ago
Also, for some reason people don’t think men can have a fashionable house if they’re straight, only if there gay or have gay friends! Not to mention with the raising prices they may not be able to afford the luxury lifestyle you expect! That goes for both genders. (I really hope someone reads this, my thumbs hurt)
sofacushionfort 1 week ago
I’d be amazed at some of the judementality these women inflict on men, but that would pale in comparison with how they judge other women’s homes.
Je souhaite 1 week ago
A lot of these are not even red flags just happy guys living their happy SINGLE lives without someone moving in and controlling every aspect of their lives
Load More Replies... Tyranamar Suess 6 days ago
I once dated a man who was obsessed with a certain Disney female character. He kept talking about her. I went to his apartment and he had drawn cartoons of her and had them all pasted to one wall. He was a pediatrician so I said, aw, your kids drew these for you! Nope. All him. I had to nope outta there.
Veronica Scoggins 1 week ago
If you are a woman looking for a partner, you need someone who has a place to live that says he too is looking for a partner and has taken the time to consider what a partner might like. One chair shows zero consideration. No food or snacks before you come over shows zero consideration. No pillow for you shows zero consideration. If he isn't showing you consideration in the beginning, he damn sure won't two years in. I was in the dating world until my 30s and I am now happily married. Trust me when I say you should pay attention to these red flags from the beginning.
Je souhaite 1 week ago
Or maybe he does not want just any woman moving into his place so he keeps it the way HE likes it ....I mean LOL
Load More Replies... Jaeger (Jaeger) 1 week ago
This whole post is possibly the most Sexist piece of c**p I’ve ever seen. Realistic expectations people! Neither gender has to adhere perfectly to your expectations or your standards! If I have a 3-1 soap, what’s your issue? If I have MY HOME how I like it, if you constantly critique everything. Get the hell out, this is why it’s so hard for men to find a partner, this is what encourages toxic masculinity! I’m a man and my dad was/is like that, it’s horrible. Every day of my life I try to break free of this horrible stereotype! Trying to prove that not all men are bad, and gross… Not to mention no one gives a s**t if a man gets R*ped they just tell them to grow up! Posts like this is what’s wrong with humanity.
Je souhaite 1 week ago
BP staff must be the angriest bunch of fem nazis around
Load More Replies... Orysha 1 week ago
What's this rubbish poll Justin? Any kind of collection is a concern for women? What I find most concerning in this thread is that these women seem to hate minimalism and think it's a way to spot serial killers. What's all the rage with pillows too?
Je souhaite 1 week ago
Minimalism is a sure sign that you are good with your money and not spending it on every tik tok product ad placement
Load More Replies... Parmer Engineering 4 days ago
So much social media sickness with all these people. Terms and phrases get thrown around so needlessly that they lose all meaning. Your hang-up, OCD, level of self importance is not another persons red flag. The posts are so absurdly funny.
Lori Beauchamp 1 week ago
How low are people's standards that this thread is actually a thing?
Arcady Royzen 1 week ago
I said this before and will say it again. Any grown up man is the product of his mother or both parents. If you don't teach your boys how to take care of themselves, they never will. On the other hand, anyone who thinks that all women are super clean, great cooks and interior decorators, you must be smoking something very strong. Stop playing stereotypes and start teaching basics from the childhood to both genders
Aurora 6 days ago
So men are entirely incapable of learning things on their own? An adult man has no accountability for the way he is, because he was "just raised that way"? That's a very, very sad way of looking at it.
Load More Replies... Bones 1 week ago
So happy I'm a gay man and don't have to put up with these. If the place is clean (doesn't need to be neat) that's about all I would ask for. (Though a clean towel should be there too, for the clean up afterwards).
XenoMurph 3 days ago
Stereotyping yourself. I've known some guys who had dirty, untidy houses, who just happened to be gay.
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