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37 Women Are Sharing Things They’ve Seen In Guys’ Apartments That Instantly Set Off ‘Red Flags’
Some men have the interior design preferences of a monk living in an isolated cave. This is all well and good if that is truly your goal, but if you are bringing someone home, it’s pretty important to remember that how you live is a pretty direct reflection of you.
Someone asked women “What would you consider a “red flag” when going to a guy’s apartment for the first time?” and people shared their thoughts. So get comfortable, if you are a man, perhaps take some notes, upvote your favorites and add your own ideas and experiences in the comments below.
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#1
A huge red flag is having your fridge full of alcohol with little to no food inside.
RELATED:
#2
Idky but I hate seeing futons, dirty dishes, and the smell of old w**d, a*s, hot d**k and cocoa butter.
I also don’t wanna see Jergins next to any source of tissue.
#3
Have food at your house. This is true for entertaining any people at your house in general, but especially on dates, a dude with an empty fridge, no snacks, no tea or coffee or beverages to offer just looks empty handed and unprepared.
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 8 hours ago
And don't stock your fridge like Jeffrey Dahmer did, that is a definite red flag.
#4
Make sure there aren’t condom wrappers or used condoms out. Wish I could say that this was common sense...
#5
Don’t hang framed pictures of you kissing your mom on the lips. I’m still skeeved about that one.
#6
Wash your sheets and towels.
I know a guy who believed (I hope it’s not still true) towels are clean because he uses them after the shower when he is clean. So he didn’t wash them. They smelled.
#7
No toilet skid marks plzzzz... Why is this too common :(
SmooshieFries 5 hours ago
And no pee on the seat or floor and def no curly hairs either. Ugh, the bathroom where I work is all gender and gets nasty
#8
Keep it clean and hide pictures of your wife.
#9
Clean your bathroom and don't just have the necessities in there (i.e. toilet paper and soap). Get a trash can and a nice(r) shower curtain. also, for the love of god, don't keep adding water to an empty soap bottle. go buy another one for $0.98.
#10
Keep a trash can with a lid in the bathroom. In case she’s got her period, she won’t feel self-conscious throwing stuff away. Not really a red flag to not have one, just a nice touch.
#11
If people cant take 10 minutes to tidy up before they have company over that's a red flag for me. It doesn't have to be spotless but at least be respectful of the fact that other people may not want to hang out in your filth. If they have pets is there hair everywhere and are they being taken care of? Mainly if you're a tidy person it probably isn't a good match with someone that's fairly messy. Think about if that's how you want to live if things work out.
Obviously look for weird things like a sex dungeon (unless you're into that kind of stuff) or like secret rooms where serial killers would store their bodies. If there are any rooms that lock from the outside, get out.
The Doom Song 6 hours ago
Yeah I definitely make sure the door is shut when it comes to my Serial killer room
#12
Put your mattress in a proper frame. Nothing screams bachelor hobo like a floor mattress.
#13
Open the windows! Get some fresh air while you check all of these boxes!
#14
Lots of great comments here. I think I would just add proper sheets, pillows and towels. It’s nice to go to a guys house and he has good bedding.
Also - make sure there is extra TP in the bathroom. And I would recommend buying some body wash/soap, shampoo and conditioner. Nothing too feminine (you don’t want her to think you have women over all the time) but it’s the worst when you shower at a guys house and they only have 3 in 1.
#15
I'm a man so I will share my point of view when going to a *woman*'s apartment. If there is a mess in the bathroom and generally in the rest of the apartment, it's a turn off. Also the smell of the apartment. Room fragrance is very cheap and can be found everywhere.
I still have PTSDs of my sister's bathroom. Don't ask.
Manic Mama 8 hours ago
Room fragrance can also cause asthmatics to have asthma attacks. It's not a solution for everybody.
#16
A mini trashcan in the bathroom is always nice to see. And a nice smell.
Howl's sleeping castle 7 hours ago
Here we use bidets commonly. I have seen people keep toilet paper but no trash can. What are I supposed to do with the used paper? Take it home
#17
I literally dated a 34 year old man that didn’t have a couch. He told me he threw it out a month prior because his cat wouldn’t stop peeing on it. Instead of training the cat, he threw out the couch. So, have a fully furnished home and don’t be an idiot I would say (haha). I sat in a lawn chair and counted the minutes until I could GTFO.
Breadcrumb. 8 hours ago
I could see myself using lawn chairs temporarily. No point in buying a new couch until your cat gets better. Cat probably was sick..
#18
Buckets full of syringes out in the open are sketchy, nobody likes that.
#19
A few people have mentioned photos, general rule is - Art/print on the wall, a couple of family/friend photos in a frame on shelf.
Lots of people have also mentioned smell, you sound very clean but I would warn against too many fake smells, eg too much febreze as it can become over powering. Opening the windows every so often to keep things fresh with the occasional spray in the toilet is all you need!
#20
Two ply toilet paper and a clean towel to wipe my hands after washing up.
#21
We live and die by the bathroom.
- Fresh roll of toilet paper
- Empty trash can with a plastic bag liner
- Fresh towels
- Scrub toilet
- Scrub sink
- Do a quick swiffer to pick up dust/pubes
Other notes:
- Have a candle lit in the house at least one hour beforehand
- Fresh bedsheets in case she stays over
- Empty kitchen sink
- Ample snacks
EDIT: Formatting, and to add this: Chances are the girl probably has her mind made up about you before even coming over. Not having a certain drink/snack or the right candle isn't going to make or break your chances of f*****g. But keeping clean and having the fridge stocked are just normal practices of life, not "trying hard". It's an easy way to tell who has guests over and who doesn't.
#22
I have seen The bachelor pad with no furniture too many times and *I hate it*. There is only one chair (So I can't sit down anywhere), there are no blankets, pillows or any other thing that could make the place comfy. The walls are bare and a lone tv/gaming console is all you'll find in the living room. If you're really lucky there's cutlery and plates for 2 people and it probably doesn't match. Kitchen appliances are generally non-existent as well.
It screams immaturity to me and means that I will not be comfortable in that space. It is not being "minimalistic" it's just not giving a f**k about your living space and comfort of guests.
Not sure I'd call it a red flag, but for sure something that wouldn't make me want to come back.
Breadcrumb. 8 hours ago
Sorta says "I wanna die alone" when you don't create a inviting space.
#23
Nothing wrong with having a bed on the floor but make sure ur pillows aren’t f****n yellow. Put some damn sheets and pillow cases on your bed! Get a comforter! Too many beds I’ve seen looking like they will give me an STD.
#24
I’m not the fanciest, most organized person, so I don’t judge too much based on how a man’s home looks. As long as the normal bases are covered, you pass in my eyes. I’d say just go through and make sure everything looks nice, like you would anytime you’re expecting new company. Clean out the toilet bowl, put away the dishes etc. I wouldn’t worry about changing your decor- your home is an extension of yourself, so you shouldn’t have to change things decoration-wise just because someone else might want you to, unless you’re planning on them moving in. Just be yourself and let your space reflect that :) If she’s really into you for you, she won’t be worried about whether or not your house has a pretty aesthetic.
#25
A nice blanket would be good. And cleanliness. Also at least for me, smell is a huge thing.
Torben Møller-Nielsen 7 hours ago
How can not displaying a "nice" blanket be a red flag? That would actually be a red flag for me, if someone made that a problem.
#26
Honestly really bare rooms, just having like one recliner and an xbox in your living room is meh. general mess, just try to make it clean and comfortable. i’d also like to note that sometimes guys who live in super barren apartments are very hot but also probably have a s**t personality so do with that what you will.
#27
No left over artifacts from past relationships still displayed.
#28
Guys who don’t have enough pillows/have bad pillows. Why is it that F**k boys never have more than one pillow? Or if they do then they are lumpy and hard? And the bedding is invariably some sort of check blue/red pattern.
Also anything, ANYTHING, that is an obvious gift from an ex. Not saying bin it, but maybe wait to introduce it to your place. No woman wants to walk into a room and realise it’s been lovingly accessorised by her predecessor.
During my single days I quickly learned that guys who didn’t have nice bedding, usually weren’t the kind worth hanging around for. I wonder sometimes if it’s a subconscious reflection of their emotional unavailability, kind of a reverse feng shui - they weren’t ready for an intimate connection with a partner so they didn’t make space for one in their private space aka only one pillow.
#29
My boyfriends place was so clean when I met him I thought he must have been a serial killer. His clothes was folded perfectly. I think as long as the place is clean you are ok but to perfect and it raises eyebrows.
#30
Cleanliness, and tidiness: clean stacks of things are fine, the odd “thing without a home” in the corner is fine. Hide ratty coats and shoes, close doors to rooms you won’t need. The place doesn’t need to be freshly mopped and gleaming, and shouldn’t smell like cleaners, but shouldn’t look dusty and obvious marks on walls/glass/floors wiped.
Bathroom should be spotless though, so shake out your bath mat, rinse your tub & sink, empty your bin, close/open your shower curtain depending on whether your curtain or shower are dirtier. I also appreciate when counters are clear, with nothing out but soap, since I’m not seeing your toiletries (your toothbrush, what meds you use, how old your facial cleanser bottle is, the brand of your cologne, etc).
Depending on the guy, lack of decor isn’t always surprising, and shouldn’t be a deal breaker. The things that you have should look purposeful and reflect you: throwing in some bright cushions when that isn’t your style looks off and inauthentic. Take some time to look at where you have things (furniture, decor) and rearrange them to see what looks better, move trinkets around, stack some favourite books near your sofa, etc. You’re not staging so much as you’re just making this space obviously “yours”.
Depending on what you’re planning to do, you’ll want to do a quick inventory of useful items: if you’re watching movies, do you have a blanket if she finds your place chilly, do you have a nice clean bowl for popcorn, do you have clean glasses for drinks, etc. If you’re eating: do you have enough clean dishes of the right type/size, flatware, ingredients, condiments (& are they in date?!).
Janissary35680 3 hours ago
Reads like it was written by a chatbot imitating the style of Martha Stewart.😄
#31
It's really just preference, but here's my list, lots from memory:
- no sheets on the bed
- only one pillow on the bed
- no trash can in the bathroom
- sink hasn't been washed (drain is dirty, line of s**m around the sides, etc.)
- paper dishes, man, don't be wasteful!
- marijuana supplies just out in the open. like just keep your grinder somewhere other than your computer desk, please? and on that note, if your bong looks worse than a sewer, I'm out, and I don't even smoke w**d
- nowhere to put my shoes, or, even worse "just leave them on". please let me take off my shoes by having a shoe rack/boot tray and letting my feet touch a *clean* floor
- no vegetables in the fridge/freezer or the pantry. please eat vegetables.
Bones 4 hours ago
1. Men don't really NEED a trashcan in the bathroom. I do, but how is not having one a Red Flag. 2. Only one pillow. I sleep with 4 pillows, if I only needed one to sleep with. That's all I'd have. 3. If you don't like marijuana, don't smoke it, but he can have out anything he wants. (If it smells that a different story. 4. What the hello is a "boot tray?" I don't have a shoe rack for guests, take your shoes off at the door and leave them there. 5. No Veg? Really If women are like OP, I'm happy I'm a gay man.
#32
If he doesn’t have anything. I briefly dated someone who just didn’t have anything. No books, no furniture besides his bed and desk and a chair, no posters, no nothing. Minimalism is great and all, but it’s nice to see a somewhat personalized space. I don’t know if this has any correlation, but he was one of the weirdest dudes I’ve ever met.
Erla Zwingle 6 hours ago
I think it has a very tight correlation, since you ask. Sounds like the next step is having some products for wiping fingerprints.
#33
I guess organization is always nice. A turn on for me is watching a hobbie displayed nicely, I think it shows passion. For example an area for playing music, or a good and nice place to watch movies with a good organization of movies, even a nice setup for working, or even playing games. Don't know it makes it interesting to me.
#34
Its a red flag if there is no person items. No personalized posters/wall hangings, no personal decor touches. It should be cozi and give me a good sense of who you are and what you enjoy. You walk into my bfs place and you see his video games and posters of games he loves. My room you see my books, craft supplies, stacks of notebooks, my instruments. You basically dont want a cold creepy bareny stinson crash pad. Also, dont have boxes of condoms laying out or any sex toys.
#35
Your place doesn't have to be perfect. A few decorations, some items that show your interest, a couple throw pillows would be nice. Don't try too hard. Just be yourself.
If your goal is to make someone want to F you, your apartment won't make a lot of a difference. You will. How you talk to her will be the deciding factor.
If you want a girl to start a relationship, then you want her to feel comfortable. A throw blanket on your couch is a nice idea. If your place has bare walls, it is less comfortable than with some pictures up. An easy idea is to frame pictures of things from your life, travel photos, pictures of fun times with friends, your family, and maybe some posters or art. This can help her see who you are.
Any questions?
#36
Make sure the bathroom is clean. Sink and countertop should be neat and tidy. Toilet should have no remnants of use. Shower should have no pink marks or stains. Make sure you have fresh towels in case she decides to shower. CHANGE YOUR SHEETS. Make sure all your bedding is fresh. Clear off the couch and any chairs so that you don’t have to awkwardly move things around for her to sit down when she’s already there. No dishes in the sink. The place doesn’t have to be perfectly clean, but make it clean enough so that 1. She’s comfortable 2. She doesn’t think you can’t take care of yourself.
#37
Take your lotion and Kleenex off of the nightstand you filthy animal.
What do you think ?
Alex Schneider 7 hours ago
The way they appreciate and take care for themselves and their surroundings is the way they care for and appreciate you. Even at a ONS,never let someone get the feeling of you still would need a mommy for common sense ,like a clean bath and bed.
Susie Elle 5 hours ago (edited)
Guys: if you plan on having women over, whether they be friends, hookups, or anything else - CLEAN YOUR TOILET and HAVE MORE THAN ONE TOILET ROLL! Women need to sit down, and as much as I wish guys would also wipe after peeing, women really need to. Toilet paper runs out way faster than you might think. I was once at a guy friend's place and he had invited another friend together with his girlfriend, and he asked me if one roll of toilet paper would be enough for the entire evening. Hard no.
Alex Schneider 7 hours ago
The way they appreciate and take care for themselves and their surroundings is the way they care for and appreciate you. Even at a ONS,never let someone get the feeling of you still would need a mommy for common sense ,like a clean bath and bed.
Susie Elle 5 hours ago (edited)
Guys: if you plan on having women over, whether they be friends, hookups, or anything else - CLEAN YOUR TOILET and HAVE MORE THAN ONE TOILET ROLL! Women need to sit down, and as much as I wish guys would also wipe after peeing, women really need to. Toilet paper runs out way faster than you might think. I was once at a guy friend's place and he had invited another friend together with his girlfriend, and he asked me if one roll of toilet paper would be enough for the entire evening. Hard no.
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