I'd love to see a tv series of Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy. They did their best with the movie, but limited animation techniques and time make it... not great

Noted. Cult joined.

I need extra upvotes. One is not enough for this post

Oh My God--this is frighteningly accurate

Love me some Hank wisdom.

No means no.

No, send them to school.

As a teacher I make a point of telling the student teachers that they should always ALWAYS make sure they are on the janitors’ good side. They will not make your life harder if you are not, but, my goodness, can they make your teacher life easier if they like you!

That’s hilarious!

5 hours of prepping, 2 hours of roasting, 20 minutes of plating... 10 minutes to eat said meal, 25 minutes of rinsing dishes 2 hours of dishwaser and 20 minutes of putting dishes away. Now it's time for breakfast! LOL!

It's the ones who didn't grow up with South Park and family guy who are offended by every little detail of their simple minded life.

The baby sure. But have you see the text messages between his dog and owner? I love those.

lol falcon payments

"It's not lost until your mom can't find it"

We weren’t expecting special forces

We don’t know how good we have it. At least almost 3 will get a good nap in later.

See, this is the kind of thing archaeologists mean when they say "ceremonial purposes."

I think I am hilarious in my head. 🤷🏻‍♀️Laughter is infectious. 😂

Still saves money. The parents and their furbaby get a nice home, and dogs don't need clothes or college funds.

No such thing as too much cheese.

I love you, my owly friend ❤️🥹

There wouldn’t be enough unsee juice in the world…

It is always helpful to learn some off-grid basic techniques. Since +/- 30 years more and more of our activities depend heavily on things circling the globe and can be switched off by the owner at any given time, without notice. Or fail, without the possibility to have a technician get it go within hours. Prepper craze is not necessary, but ask (grand)parents how they handled things before satnav and smartphone were a thing. And learn to read maps, understabd street signs giving directions and some basic navigation skills.

As a former wildlife hospital volunteer, I would take a goose over a squirrel any day. Squirrels are terrifying, and they go for your face.

Flour 🤣🤣

That isn’t dumb for a 4-5 year old; it’s just the way they reason until they learn otherwise. Unfortunately, some people never seem to outgrow this level of reasoning.

Then it burns your house down....and now you have another emergency.

Good job! Keep challenging yourself.

I scream, you scream, the police come, it's awkward...

I was at a friend’s house. He said “make yourself at home!” So I kicked his a*s out because I hate visitors. And that’s when the fight started…

My alcoholic chain smoking neighbor was the one most concerned with me buying myself a cup of coffee once a week or so.

Adulthood? Sounds like typical adulthood to me.

What sort of idiot parents call their boy "The Day"?

They don't really like you complimenting them on their pretty black dresses either.

I can't wait to pull that on my daughter when we are shopping tomorrow.

He ain't much of a looker himself...

Recessive, submissive, all the same. Those poor genes must want to be loved

This person has serious selective memory of what spending 40 hours week in schools was like, unless they peaked in high school and that is even sadder.

As a 34 year old with a driver's license and car title who is 4' 9'', I am deeply offended.

Aw! He’s just a real person with insecurities.

MatPat loves you. LOOOOOOOORE!

Meh. I preferred the one with the tiny chocolate cake in the corner.

To save embarrassing Google searches - A group of men covering another person with reproduction juice.

“We don’t want your titty money”

Also get to keep my sanity

I hope they were tears of joy because that joke is hilarious, particularly for a seven year old

This is my plastic fork

People believe that they win these because their story touched somebody's cold dead heart. No, they wrote well, and made it sound real, and that is what wins competitions, not the facts of the story. There are no prizes for whose life was the saddest.

I painted a friend a picture of The Last Supper using every comic cat I could think of in place of the people. Bill was Jesus & dressed as Elvis. I titled it “The Last Shrimp Cocktail”. - These things happen. And I would have bought that. I would have it hanging in my house.