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102 Terrifying Things You May Want To Consider Before Getting Pregnant And Having Kids
Interview With Author
The miracle of life is a beautiful thing. Well, the love between parents and their children is a beautiful thing. The actual act of childbirth? That’s pretty traumatic. But it’s important to know exactly what you’re getting yourself into before having kids, and that’s why reproductive rights activist Abigail Porter has created “The List.”
Over the last few years, Porter has dedicated her time to compiling over 100 “reasons not to have kids” on TikTok. From the overwhelming expenses to the havoc pregnancy can wreak on women’s bodies, we’ve gathered the full list below, as well as some of Abigail’s videos. I’ll warn you right now that this content is not for those with weak stomachs. But if you plan on having children, this is the reality! And keep reading to find conversations with Abigail and Therese Shechter, director and producer of the documentary My So-Called Selfish Life.
RELATED:
It’s important to know what you’re getting yourself into before deciding to start a family
Image credits: Anna Civolani / unsplash (not the actual photo)
So reproductive rights activist Abigail Porter has compiled a comprehensive list of “reasons not to have kids”
Part 1: Pregnancy
1. Morning sickness.
2. You can become allergic to your own skin. It’s called pemphigoid gestationis and it effects about 1 in 50,000 pregnancies.
3. You can’t choose how many babies you have. Imagine you finally decide you’re ready to have a kid and then BOOM, triplets. That’s triple the finances, triple the mouths to feed, and triple the stress!
4. MANY women lose their teeth during and after pregnancy. Babies need a lot of calcium to grow their skeletons, and if there isn’t enough calcium in the woman’s diet, the baby will take the calcium from the mother’s bones. They literally steal your bones to make their own.
5. Babies sometimes grind their gums together in the womb and you can HEAR THEM doing it.
6. Fetuses in the womb will grow hair called lanugo all over their bodies in order to help keep them warm. Eventually the fetus will shed that hair and eat it. For the first few days of their life, a babies poop is made out of mostly hair and amniotic fluid. Ew.
7. A woman grew warts and blisters all over her body because her pregnant body started to reject the years-old ink from her tattoos.
8. Babies kicking and moving around in the womb isn’t always “cute.” Sometimes it looks like an alien is trying to brutally claw their way out of the body. And apparently it HURTS.
9. You can become allergic to the baby’s pee when it’s inside you which makes your insides feel “itchy.”
10. One woman said the baby felt like a “bag of snakes” inside her.
11. You can grow pregnancy tumors in your mouth called pyogenic granulomas.
Image credits: Global_Ground1873
12. Your toenails can get really soft and break or even fall completely off.
13. It’s very common for the 2 muscles that run down the middle of your stomach to separate during pregnancy. It’s called diastasis recti and your can put your fingers into the separation.
14. You can develop an allergy to your pets while pregnant. This one is an absolute deal breaker for me, my 2 cats are my babies.
15. When babies “kick,” they can actually bruise you from the inside.
16. Pregnancy nose (due to hormone changes, the nose swells up pretty significantly).
17. It’s possible to become so constipated during pregnancy that the poop has to come out the other end. Pregnant people have literally puked their own poop.
18. One mom developed asthma from her baby kicking her lungs so often inside her.
19. Chromhidrosis is a rare condition commonly associated with pregnancy where your sweat can turn colors. This can dye your clothing, your bed sheets, and even your toilet seat blue, green, yellow, brown, or even black.
20. Preeclampsia and all of it’s symptoms (headaches that don’t go away, nausea, vomiting, dizziness, pain, sudden weight gain, trouble breathing, edemas, and more).
21. Stone Babies. Calcified fetuses that, if undetected, can stay in your body for your entire life. A woman was “pregnant” with a stone baby for over 40 years.
22. Baby kicks feel like diarrhea at first.
23. Your belly can stretch so far that your belly button completely disappears.
24. “Morning” sickness is not limited to mornings.
25. You can get pregnant… while you’re pregnant. It’s called a “superfetation” pregnancy. One surrogate mother was pregnant with someone else’s baby and then got pregnant with her own baby 6 months later!
26. Blood volume during pregnancy increases by 45%. You have almost a gallon more blood in your body while pregnant.
Part 2: Childbirth
Image credits: Jonathan Borba
27. The longest recorded labor in history was 75 DAYS LONG.
28. Most people poop on themselves and the delivery table during childbirth.
29. One woman in my TikTok comment section died twice during childbirth. She died. Twice.
30. Ekane (a popular TikToker and mother) said she has been shot 3 times and she prefers getting shot to contractions.
31. It’s possible to push so hard during contractions that you detach your retinas.
32. It’s also possible for your entire eyeball to pop out during labor.
33. The size of an average uterus before vs after giving birth (forget about “bouncing back, it’s literally impossible):
Image credits: drjenniferlincoln
34. Episiotomies. They cut your vaginal hole opening with scissors to make it easier for the baby’s head to come through.
35. FORCEP. ASSISTED. DELIVERY. Also known as “The Salad Tongs”
36. Your bladder can be traumatized by the pressure of birth and it can cause your pee hole to swell shut. It can make peeing painful or, in extreme cases, impossible!
37. The blood vessels in your eyes can rupture if you push too hard during childbirth.
38. After you deliver the baby, you have to deliver the placenta. According to some, this feels like pushing a warm jellyfish the size of a handbag out of your vagina.
39. Cervical ripening balloons (used for mechanical dilation) .
40. Your vagina can fall out. It can fall out during birth or it can fall out years down the line.
41. Your butthole can rip open during childbirth.
42. This woman was billed over $50,000 for her postpartum hospital stay.
43. Human heads have evolved at an extremely rapid rate, which is why humans have a much higher childbirth mortality rate than other mammals. Baby heads are literally too big for our tiny bipedal pelvises!
44. When necessary, a nurse might shove their entire fist into your vagina to prevent you from hemorrhaging during childbirth.
45. Epidurals. Many people are under the impression that epidurals are an anesthetic shot you get in your back once before labor happens. Epidurals are actually a small catheter and TUBE that stays in your back for your entire labor, continuously pumping you with anesthesia. Which brings me to the next bullet point…
46. The epidural needle.
47. Your epidural is also plugged into the wall, which means it can be unplugged. One woman on TikTok said her husband unplugged her epidural during labor in order to charge his phone, then called her dramatic when she said she was in pain.
48. One woman’s nurse tripped over her epidural while it was in her back. She has lifelong back pain now.
49. Another woman’s epidural caused her to lose the urge to pee for 6 months after birth. She peed herself constantly. Yeah… that’s enough about epidurals.
Part 3: Postpartum & the Newborn Phase
Image credits: Isaac Taylor
50. Hemorrhoids.
@z00mie Replying to @👹 Sig 👹 BABY FEVER CURE #girlwiththelist ♬ som original – isa ✩
51. Nausea.
@z00mie Gather round for your daily dose of Free Birth Control 🫡 #freebirthcontrol #girlwiththelist #babyfevercure OG VID HERE: @Kylen Suttner #greenscreen ♬ Quirky Suspenseful Indie-Comedy(1115050) – Kenji Ueda
52. PINWORMS.
@z00mie Replying to @marlee did someone order a baby fever cure? because this is a new one 🫣🪱 OG VID HERE: @Justin #freebirthcontrol #babyfevercure #girlwiththelist #z00mie #babyfever ♬ Quirky Suspenseful Indie-Comedy(1115050) – Kenji Ueda
53. Postpartum stink. Apparently you stink BAD after childbirth. It’s been described to me as a sort of sweet rotting smell.
54. When babies get congested, they can’t blow their own noses. So you have to suck out their snot through a special straw and try your best not to accidentally swallow it. It’s disgusting.
55. Speaking of sucking things out… let’s talk mastitis. Mastitis is an inflammation or infection of breast tissue that can cause pain, redness, swelling, and warmth. It can also cause flu-like symptoms such as fever, chills, body aches, and headache. One woman had a strawberry-sized mastitis clot that her husband sucked out of her boob for her. How kind of him…
56. Tantrums.
57. Sometimes babies bite too hard when breastfeeding and turn your breast milk pink with blood. And then they drink it. Like tiny little vampires. Renesmee would love it.
58. You have to be the one to clean up their throw up. And they are going to throw up… a lot.
59. If you have emetophobia… just forget about it (it’s fear of vomiting).
60. Say goodbye to your bladder functionality. Many people who have given birth have to wear diapers for weeks and years, and some are unable to hold their pee when they sneeze or laugh for the REST OF THEIR LIVES.
61. Milk doesn’t just come from your breasts while breastfeeding. It can come out of your armpits too.
62. There’s a formula shortage which makes formula extremely hard to find and EXTREMELY expensive.
63. Say goodbye to sleeping regularly for the rest of your life.
64. Babies can occasionally be born without the instinct to eat, which means they get hungry and cry for hours on end but still won’t eat.
65. Diaper blowouts. Any time, anywhere.
66. Breastfeeding mothers leak when they hear babies cry in public. And it’s not just a few drops. This video shows just how much milk can start pouring out.
67. You probably won’t be able to fit in your old clothes anymore, which means you have to replace all your entire closet which is EXPENSIVE.
68. Female babies can sometimes be born with milk inside their boobs, and you have to milk them. Sometimes they have periods too.
69. This TikTok comment:
70. Babies can be born with teeth. It’s as terrifying as it sounds. And don’t even think about the implications of breastfeeding a baby with teeth…
71. Postpartum hair loss.
72. This TikTok comment:
73. Sometimes during tantrums, newborns can forget to breathe which can cause them to pass out.
74. Cradle cap (it’s a skin condition that shows up as crusty or oily scaly patches on the baby’s head).
Part 4: The Toddler Phase
Image credits: 𝗗 𝗨 𝗬 𝗛 𝗢 𝗔 𝗡 𝗚
75. Babies turn into TODDLERS. And then toddlers turn into teenagers. And teenagers turn into adults.
76. This kid used the carpeted stairs as toilet paper.
77. Kids sometimes use their own poop as art supplies.
78. One kid stole her mom’s Vaseline and used it to sooth her sore butthole after she used the bathroom. Her mom continued to use that Vaseline as CHAPSTICK. She’d been breaking out for weeks and had no idea why…
79. You have to fill your days with activities with for your kids. Say goodbye to your hobbies and free time, because your kids want to go to the park.
80. This woman’s child eats the plaster off her walls and she has to constantly replaster them.
81. Kids are expensive. The hospital bills alone are too much to handle, not to mention it’s an extra mouth to feed for 18+ years, tuition payments, doctors appointments, an extra seat on a plane whenever you want to go somewhere, an extra room to rent, clothes to buy (which they’re constantly growing out of), etc.
82. One mom on TikTok had to replace her TV 3 times in 2 years
83. A human bite is the second most dangerous bite there is because of the unique bacteria in saliva. Toddlers like to bite things. In rare cases, without proper treatment, this can be fatal.
84. Kids stuff (toys, clothes, dishware, necessities) ruins your aesthetic. Who remembers the sad beige mom incident?
85. Kids will turn the backseat of your car into a scientific anomaly with their snack crumbs and puke and sticky fingers.
86. Tantrums in the grocery store are embarrassing.
87. Impetigo
@z00mie Daily dose of birth control 🫣🫣🫣 #pregnancylist #z00mie #thegirlwiththelist #reasonsnottogetpregnantlist #reasonsnottohavekids ♬ Quirky Suspenseful Indie-Comedy(1115050) – Kenji Ueda
88. You can never poop in peace ever again. Your kids will always follow you into the bathroom, or need something from you right when you get comfortable, or make a huge mess while you’re taking care of business in the other room.
89. Children get REALLY mad when anyone other than themselves gets to blow out birthday candles. Once you have kids you have to decide between blowing out your own birthday candles or dealing with a tantrum.
90. You’ll find their toys EVERYWHERE. This mom was literally attacked by her son’s toy car. And someone in the comments added this:
91. One brave soul shared in my Instagram DMs that once when they were a kid they peed inside the heating vents (which are very difficult to clean) and therefore their entire house smelled like pee for years.
92. Overstimulation. Dealing with the “mommy? mommy? mommy?” of it all… no thanks.
93. Kids on flights. Keeping them entertained, quiet, fed, and calm for who knows how many hours?
94. This kid got a mouse trap stuck in his hair with a dead mouse STILL IN IT.
95. In a now deleted video, a mom from TikTok explained that her kids had a “vomit party” which is exactly what it sounds like. They intentionally chugged water and threw it up, for fun.
96. This kid made her mother deaf by accidentally kissing her ear with too much suction.
97. Day care can cost hundreds of thousands of dollars per year. Essentially, you have to be earning well above the average American income for day care to be worth it and affordable.
98. Children throw up everywhere. Including on your food. Hopefully you notice before you accidentally eat it unlike this mom.
99. This kid tried to serve her mom “tea”:
100. Kids ALWAYS cut their own hair and end up looking insane for a few months.
101. This mom’s kids used her makeup brushes to clean poop out of their shoes. And she didn’t notice. And then she USED THE BRUSHES.
102. This kid glued her mom’s Roku remote to a table with nail glue.
Abigail has also reacted to many videos she’s been tagged in that feature even more reasons not to have kids
@girlwiththelist1 Unruly kids are the worst. #childfreebychoice #girlwiththelist #childfreetok ♬ original sound – Girl with the list
@z00mie Replying to @Mash daily dose of free birth control thanks to @That Damn Tee🤪 😭 number 224 on the list of reasons not to have kids 📝📝📝 #girlwiththelist #freebirthcontrol #greenscreenvideo #greenscreen #reasonsnottogetpregnant #childfree #z00mie #babyfever ♬ Quirky Suspenseful Indie-Comedy(1115050) – Kenji Ueda
@z00mie Replying to @Kristina this is NOT the first time I’ve been tagged in one of @Tatum my dude ‘s videos like GIRL ARE YOU OK???? 😭🫣🤯 this story was SOMETHING ELSE 😮💨💀💩 here’s the video I mentioned at the end (watch at your own risk 🫣) ➡️ @zoomie #freebirthcontrol #babyfevercure #girlwiththelist #reasonsnottogetpregnantlist #reasonsnottohavekids #listgirl #z00mie ♬ 10 minutes ver Halloween haunted house(1156013) – Aruma
Many adults today enjoy the benefits of being childfree
According to the Pew Research Center, 47% of adults between the ages of 18 and 49 in the United States say they’re unlikely to ever have kids. Meanwhile, in 2018, only 37% of adults under 50 felt that way. And when it comes to why these adults aren’t interested in starting families of their own, 57% say that they simply don’t want to.
44% cite wanting to focus on other things, while 38% note concerns about the state of the world. And over a third admit that they can’t afford to take on the financial burden of having children. While some parents might assume that childfree adults are missing out by not having kids of their own, the reality is that many of them enjoy the benefits of not being parents.
80% of childfree adults under the age of 50 say that they have more time for their hobbies and interests, and 79% note that they’re able to afford the things they want. Three quarters of these adults without kids also say they’ve been able to save for the future, and 61% note that they’ve had success in their job or career that might have been more difficult to accomplish with kids in the picture.
And of course, there’s no getting around the financial burden if you choose to become a parent. According to Investopedia, the average American middle class family will spend about $310,605 raising a child up until the age of 17. And if they want to pay for that kid’s college education, well, they can expect to be saddled with another $100,000 bill. Considering the fact that over three quarters of Americans are living paycheck to paycheck, it’s no wonder that many have been turned off to the idea of having kids.
“Women deserve to know exactly what they’re choosing when they make the choice to have kids”
To find out more about “The List” and how it started in the first place, we got in touch with Abigail via email, who was kind enough to share more details about the project. “I was always blown away when I learned something new and shocking about pregnancy and childbirth on the internet,” the creator says. “And for years, I thought to myself: ‘How did I not know this? Why aren’t we talking about things like this, especially when so many women give birth every day?'”
“One day, I decided that we absolutely should be talking about these things, because women deserve to know exactly what they’re choosing when they make the choice to have kids. I had no idea this concept would resonate with so many women, but the first ever video I made about it got over 6 million views and is still one of my most-watched videos to date,” Abigail told Bored Panda. “From that day on, I’ve been ‘The Girl With The List.'”
We were also curious about Abigail’s favorite or top reasons not to have kids. “For me, the ability to be spontaneous and adventurous without having to worry about things like hiring a babysitter or getting a nanny is one of my top reasons for not having kids,” she shared.
“I love to travel, I love to go out with my friends, and I love spontaneous date nights with my boyfriend. The added stress of needing to schedule these types of things around nap time or soccer practice is not for me. Financial and physical freedom is very important to me,” the creator explained.
“Parenting is one of the most challenging experiences this life has to offer, and we should all be able to accept or decline that challenge without shame or judgement”
Image credits: Vidal Balielo Jr. / pexels (not the actual photo)
As for why it’s so important to discuss these issues, Abigail says she’s extremely passionate about informed consent. “I believe every woman should know exactly what she’s getting into before she gets pregnant. She should know the good and the bad. Parenting is one of the most challenging experiences this life has to offer, and we should all be able to accept or decline that challenge without shame or judgement,” she told Bored Panda.
“I think a lot of people have kids without realizing how challenging it is, because it’s treated as a natural next step in life that ‘everyone takes at some point.’ But that’s not the truth, 20% of women in the US between the ages 40-44 don’t have children, and many never will,” Abigail noted.
But of course, not everyone is supportive of Abigail’s message. So we wanted to know how she feels about viewers who assume that she’s anti-children just because she’s childfree. “I think it’s very silly when people assume I hate children just because I don’t want my own,” she shared. “I have many friends and family who are parents, and I love hanging out with their children from time to time.”
“People who get offended by my videos clearly haven’t seen enough of them, because I am very clear on my stance. I can’t wait for the day I have nieces and nephews, because I am going to be an AMAZING ‘cool aunt,'” she added.
“You don’t owe anyone a baby”
We also got in touch with award-winning filmmaker Therese Shechter to hear her thoughts on being childfree. Therese’s most recent project was the documentary My So-Called Selfish Life, which addresses one of our greatest social taboos: choosing not to become a mother.
“I always knew I didn’t want to have kids,” the filmmaker shared. “My mother tells this story in my film: When I was in high school, I told her that if she wanted grandchildren, she’d have to speak to my sister and not me. She took it in stride. Happily for everyone, my sister, who always wanted to be a mother, had two great kids, and my parents are the coolest grandparents.”
We were also curious about Therese’s favorite parts of being childfree. “Being childfree and mostly single in my 20s and 30s gave me the freedom to make big bold decisions about my future, like moving to a different country and totally changing careers,” she told Bored Panda.
“The media often uses the term ‘childfree lifestyle,’ which makes it sound like I’m drinking champagne on my solid gold yacht. But for me, this choice is no frivolous thing. It’s the precious ability to live the life that’s best for me,” Therese continued. “I’d like to think most everyone would want this, to live authentically and joyfully, whether they want children or not.”
“When women have control over their reproductive lives and futures, powerful things happen”
As for what the filmmaker recommends people consider before deciding to have kids, she says, “Ask yourself whether this is something you personally want. Or is it something you are doing because your partner or friends or family or culture or religion want you to do it? There is so much social pressure on women to have children, but it should always be a freely-made choice, not a duty. You don’t owe anyone a baby.”
And if you’re on the fence about having kids, Therese shared that, “Ambivalence is a perfectly fine place to be for a while, because bringing a new human into this world is such a huge and profound thing. You need to be sure it’s what you want. The ‘regretting motherhood’ groups on Reddit and Facebook are real eye-openers. Children can bring a great deal of joy, and they deserve parents who plan for them and truly want them.”
Finally, the filmmaker added, “When women have control over their reproductive lives and futures, powerful things happen.”
We would love to hear your thoughts on “The List” in the comments below, pandas. Then, if you’re interested in checking out another Bored Panda piece discussing similar issues, we recommend reading this one next!
Many viewers appreciate Abigail’s dedication to “The List,” and some contribute “reasons not to have kids” of their own
However, not all viewers appreciate Abigail’s videos
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What do you think ?
lwolf1952 4 months ago
There are already 8 billion people on the planet. 7 billion was too many.
Anony Mouse 4 months ago
How to make a tiktok post even worse? Jam a dozen low quality tiktoks into a single post. Turn the site into total garbage. Downvote from me.
rorschach-penguin 4 months ago (edited)
Okay, I don't want kids either, but this person desperately needs therapy. This list is right up there with "you can get murdered by a rabid serial killer on a plane that's falling out of the sky all at the same time and the food they're serving on the plane is also contaminated with crutzefeldt-jakob and there's anthrax on board!!" Also, really? Don't have kids because the kid will want to blow out your birthday candles and you won't get to? Changing my mind about my life trajectory now, thanks for the tip!
Nitka Tsar 4 months ago
That one has to be bad parenting in my opinion. I never met a kid that was like that.
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H Daven 4 months ago
This is a comprehensive list detailing exactly why it should be the uterus owners right to choose if they do or don't want to endure the risks of pregnancy. I wanted to and deliberately got pregnant. I endured a miserable pregnancy that completely changed my mind and it is now my choice to never be pregnant again. Ever.
Helena 4 months ago
Ya'll seem to think this stuff is rare and why worry about it. This is not rare. Loss of bladder control is super common, tooth loss is common, episiotomy is common, a lot of this is super common. No one is saying don't have kids, but come on, it is ok to read a list of possible life-long hazards to your body. if you are up for dealing with the complications and implications, then get pregnant. If you don't want to roll those dice, don't get pregnant or go through with a pregnancy. I'm glad ya'll like your kids, but I have 10 aunts that can't hold their bladder on a bumpy road, and all lost at least a tooth, and a handful of cousins are dealing with variety of much much scarier after math.
Tamra 4 months ago (edited)
Some of these are considered somewhat common, but a great majority of these are unusual, rare, hyperbolic, or sensationalized to the point of ridicule. This person wants clicks, so she is publishing the most shocking things she can. I worked with obstetricians for a decade, and this woman is absolutely fear-mongering.
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Edgar Rops 4 months ago
If you don't want kids - just don't. No need to preach, no need to scare anyone. Unless, OP is unsure about her choices and tries to reason herself out of anxiety over them. Also, since "medical bills" was mentioned twice, that might be a true reason. US is not the whole world... 3/4 of "toddler" section are either bad parenting (e.g. eating plaster = calcium deficiency, age old problem, safe to Google), or falls under "so what" category (and being stressed out so much over it counts as bad parenting). We have four kids, teen to newborn, sometimes it's difficult, sometimes it's really difficult - last pregnancy wasn't the best case scenario previous ones were, but I gave my wife all possible help and we got through. In the end, at least to us, positives cancel out negatives and then some. Again, if it's not your choice, good for you and let's leave it at that.
Becca not Becky 4 months ago
A lot of the these are grossly exaggerated, extremely rare, or not exclusive to pregnancy. #17 for example (the severe constipation) is just describing a really bad bowel blockage, and can happen to anyone for a number of reasons. If you don't want to have kids, that's fine, but man this post is nuts.
Ellinor 4 months ago
I think that even if lists like that can scare or disgust people, they are important. Pregnancies are what they are and trying to hide the bad sides to encourage people to have children is a bad thing.
PrettyJoyBird 4 months ago
Whose trying to hide the bad sides? Conversations are important yes. This crazy list is not for informative purposes. Some of her reasons are outrageous. I think she stockpiled a list she googled. For clickbait. I didnt read it bc it was horrid but im guessing shes never been pregnant to term had a birth or raised a child.
Load More Replies... Flopsy 4 months ago
What a bunch of 🐂 💩! Some of them are true but some are just dumb: vomiting your poop? Bruising from inside?
Tyranamar Seuss 4 months ago
Yeah, no one vomits their poop. There was at least one other one on here the was totally medically ridiculous but I can't remember it.
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pug nose curly tail 4 months ago
Oh geez. If you want kids, have kids. If you don't, don't. I've have 4 children- all worth it. But that's just me.
Rose the Cook 4 months ago
Many of the possible complications listed are extremely rare so should not be an excuse. If you don't want children that is your right, no horror stories required.
Curry on... 4 months ago (edited)
People can decide for themselves without being drowned in tons of information for or against. For the record, I had two kids. No problems with my pregnancies. Big healthy babies, relatively 'easy' deliveries. A little problem with teeth afterward. Nothing else. I like kids and I'm glad I had my own.
rorschach-penguin 4 months ago
People should be drowned in the facts rather than be permitted to swim in a sea of ignorance. The problem is that these aren't the facts.
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Nicole 4 months ago
Got to number 12 on the list before I nope’d right outta there, goodbye. 👋🏻
Kitty Jordan 4 months ago (edited)
The "Say goodbye to your bladder function"... yes, it happens, and it's not rare, but it's not inevitable either. I don't have any bladder problems after giving birth via c-section, and for those who do, you can look into pelvic floor therapy, which should be standard care after any birth. Also, my baby started sleeping through the night at 4 months and still does other than when she's sick or something. So the whole "YOU'LL NEVER SLEEP NORMALLY EVER AGAIN" is a bit of hyperbole (again, not for everybody, but).
nana theater 4 months ago
I don't want to reproduce and I want people to respect that as well as I respect others that want to have children. Why is it necessary to spread fear, disgust and hate?
PrettyJoyBird 4 months ago
We respect you and whatever decision is best for you.
Load More Replies... María Hermida 4 months ago
What an idiotic article! While all the problems mentioned can actually happen, it is obvious being pregnant is in general not as deadly as Ms Ross claims, or else our species would have disappeared a million years ago. Many of the situations mentioned were caused by abismal medical care, sheer imbecility or the greedy American health system. Having children (or not) is a difficult decision every woman should take freely, but this "collection" of half truths, exaggerations and "one case in ten million pregnancies" is just ridiculous!
Hannah Clack 4 months ago
People can make their own decisions, nothing wrong with that. But this list is literally taking things to the extreme, at times to the point of exaggeration. I really hope no one in the peak of heightened hormone state due to pregnancy reads it because it's prob going to cause an unnecessary panic attack.
Nitka Tsar 4 months ago (edited)
Interesting and even funny list, but not very representative, is it? Most of these are very rare accurences, too many are US healthcare stupidity, some are bad parenting. Sure, they all “can” happen aparently, but most of them won’t. I doubt that even 30% are common. And I am sceptical about the “vagina falling out”. Maybe I am confused, but I learnt it’s the Uterus, that can fall out, not the vagina. No joke here, it really can happen. I had a scare about that after my third pregnancy.
Tamra 4 months ago
There are so many things in this post that never actually happen to most women. I worked in an obstetrics office for a decade and I can assure you, this woman is fear-mongering. She wants views.
Load More Replies... TC 4 months ago
What makes me a bit angry about this is quite a bit of this stuff is only a possibility, especially where child birth is concerned. Women have enough fear literally poured into them in an over medicalised system that supports them being patients and pregnancy being viewed as an illness. If you don’t want kids fine, but don’t go around trying to influence others with sensationalist reasons. It simply adds to the fear culture and completely disempowers women who are becoming victims to childbirth. There goes the species! Yes, you are forever changed, but I wouldn’t and a lot of others wouldn’t take it back for what they have. This simply adds to the narrative of medicalised birth and trauma. Women need to be empowered to make whatever choice they deem necessary without influence from any side. It’s called being informed! Do your research ladies 🌹
Debbie 4 months ago
They should have added the change y of these things occurring & the rain for them occurring. The items about damaging your eyes when pushing to hard; that is why there are birth classes to help you push down and not just push like build up pressure/blow your nose. The stomach muscles separating, uterus dropping - that's is why there is a recovery period, your muscles and organs have to go back to their original place. Doing to intensive stuff after childbirth is dangerous (so working two days after childbirth is very very unhealthy). Bladder control: there are excersize that can help (and "kegels"). My obgyn said: 9 months pregnant and 9 months recovery. So maternity leave is very much needed, before to preparednd rest, and after to recover.
V 4 months ago
I don't know why people don't want to be educated on the risks of childbirth, even if they are rare. Isn't it better to plan for the worst and hope the best. Yes, the likelihood of hemorrhaging during childbirth is low, but shouldn't you have a plan in place in case something like that happens? Each thing on the list only has like a 1-7% chance of happening, but there's a lot of things with a 1-7% chance of going pear shaped.
Load More Replies...
Dorothea Stovall 4 months ago
Most of these are complete BS. You could also be hit by a bus crossing the street - or eaten by a shark. As the mother of three, I'd prefer the absolute joy and pride of my children (who are grown) than to read about the negative only remotely possible stuff listed here.
Kerikat 4 months ago
Based on what I (àlmost wasted 25 minutes) read..this wingnut eggplant squirrel Brain has NO business breeding. Sorry. Not sorry and bowl full of nope. I respect the decision to not have babies...i myself however have grown twin boys that i never expeienced MOST of what was writtem. Ok the poopy art thing Xavier kicked my brain with ...lol. i alsi had my kids a bit lder ...like 31. Now they're grown and I have 2 fur babies. Whi have their own poop issues.
H Daven 4 months ago
This is over 100 reasons not to and *NOT A LOT* of this is common. Don't try to scare people. I had a terrible pregnancy and I wouldn't exclude anyone from trying if that's what they want. My pregnancy was terrible for the sole reason of constant vomiting. Yes, an issue, but one of hundreds and not near enough for me to reconsider my pregnancy. Reposting same thread as OG bc I am OG
Upstaged75 4 months ago
I have a friend who has twins. When they were around 2 years old he thought they were napping one day and they took off their poopy diapers and painted their entire room with sh!t. He kept throwing up while he cleaned it. That was the best birth control ever for me! No thank you.
Shelli Aderman 4 months ago
WHO ALLOWED THIS IDIOT TO POST ON BP? 🙄🤦♀️ JEZUS! 99.999% of this is BS!
Alina Mihai 4 months ago
People saying that these things are really rare are uninformed morons. I work with medical files, a lot of them maternity files. These things are the norm rather than the exception. People need to know this. Stop trying to gaslight them
Tamra 4 months ago
No. This is just another Tik-Tokker using hyperbole and misinformation in order to get web traffic. Some things are true, a few things aren't unusual, but the rest is wildly exaggerated.
Load More Replies... PrettyJoyBird 4 months ago (edited)
Came here for the article title/#61 SAY WHAT NOW???? Milk out my where???? i should note i am a mom of 2! This article was horrid. I would tell this "influencer" umm your mom had you. Have some grace and compassion will ya. Let the record show i did not read this!
Cat Houston 4 months ago
It's true, these things should be talked about. I applaud her for enlightening women to the reality of it. Childbirth is still a leading cause of death too. About 287,000 women died during and following pregnancy and childbirth in 2020.
Ronald Robin 4 months ago
Damn. All of these sound terrible but I guess it's worth it for bringing another human life into existence.
María Hermida 4 months ago
When men can get pregnant and give birth, you'll earn the right to say if it's worth or not. In the meantime, I guess you can't decide. Not your body, not your choice.
Load More Replies...
Graham Berry 3 months ago
Ugh. Okay, most of the medical falls in the exception category rather than the rule. And the last part of the list says more about the parents than the kids. And yeah don't have kids if you are not ready to be an adult let alone a parent. Having kids is a choice for most people so yeah choose wisely.
M Calad 4 months ago
Pregnancy and parenthood have risks, some more common, some well known and some more rare or unknown. Good to present all the risks for those who are considering pregnancy. HOWEVER, this post is very misleading and a few of the reasons presented are not even true. Most of the content is a collection of worst case scenarios being presented without context or/and probability. Some of the reasons presented are extremely rare and would only occur under very particular conditions. Please, do not misinform people. Thank you.
MonsterMum 4 months ago
What a load of c**p, five births, no s**t on myself and I can still cough and sneeze without leaking.
Gozer LeGozerian 4 months ago
The same people down voting this are the same people that will complain and whine that "no one told me about this" after they've popped out their crusty kid and it turns out it isn't like on TV and in movies
Ms.GB 4 months ago
Why don't they go over things like this is sex education because I'm guessing it would make a huge dent in teen pregnancy. Having a baby is so romanticized, maybe some cold hard reality is what people need.
PrettyJoyBird 4 months ago
I think sex education is important. This would have to be a whole sept class within health scope in schools. Is having a baby romanticized? Ive never thought that. Respect anyone who knows or decides they dont want to be a parent. Not right if someone made you feel shameful for that.
Load More Replies...
Dave Kennon’s Retirement Revolution 4 months ago
Kids are the best thing that ever happened to me. It breaks my heart to read this.
PrettyJoyBird 4 months ago
Dave are you a man? While u might have been privy to the pregnancy and childbirth did you actually experience it firsthand or your partner? Being a parent raising the children after should be completly different conversation not lumping someones opinions in with the 9mths and labor delivery that comes before. Connected sure but not same. This list was ridiculous. Some are true sure but not all facts. This is a person who googled and made a video for views. Conversations are important. If one chooses not to have kids that is fine too. They need to make whatever decisions best for them. Everyone else can talk to their doctor read informative educational books on topic do own research.
Load More Replies... lwolf1952 4 months ago
There are already 8 billion people on the planet. 7 billion was too many.
Anony Mouse 4 months ago
How to make a tiktok post even worse? Jam a dozen low quality tiktoks into a single post. Turn the site into total garbage. Downvote from me.
rorschach-penguin 4 months ago (edited)
Okay, I don't want kids either, but this person desperately needs therapy. This list is right up there with "you can get murdered by a rabid serial killer on a plane that's falling out of the sky all at the same time and the food they're serving on the plane is also contaminated with crutzefeldt-jakob and there's anthrax on board!!" Also, really? Don't have kids because the kid will want to blow out your birthday candles and you won't get to? Changing my mind about my life trajectory now, thanks for the tip!
Nitka Tsar 4 months ago
That one has to be bad parenting in my opinion. I never met a kid that was like that.
Load More Replies... H Daven 4 months ago
This is a comprehensive list detailing exactly why it should be the uterus owners right to choose if they do or don't want to endure the risks of pregnancy. I wanted to and deliberately got pregnant. I endured a miserable pregnancy that completely changed my mind and it is now my choice to never be pregnant again. Ever.
Helena 4 months ago
Ya'll seem to think this stuff is rare and why worry about it. This is not rare. Loss of bladder control is super common, tooth loss is common, episiotomy is common, a lot of this is super common. No one is saying don't have kids, but come on, it is ok to read a list of possible life-long hazards to your body. if you are up for dealing with the complications and implications, then get pregnant. If you don't want to roll those dice, don't get pregnant or go through with a pregnancy. I'm glad ya'll like your kids, but I have 10 aunts that can't hold their bladder on a bumpy road, and all lost at least a tooth, and a handful of cousins are dealing with variety of much much scarier after math.
Tamra 4 months ago (edited)
Some of these are considered somewhat common, but a great majority of these are unusual, rare, hyperbolic, or sensationalized to the point of ridicule. This person wants clicks, so she is publishing the most shocking things she can. I worked with obstetricians for a decade, and this woman is absolutely fear-mongering.
Load More Replies... Edgar Rops 4 months ago
If you don't want kids - just don't. No need to preach, no need to scare anyone. Unless, OP is unsure about her choices and tries to reason herself out of anxiety over them. Also, since "medical bills" was mentioned twice, that might be a true reason. US is not the whole world... 3/4 of "toddler" section are either bad parenting (e.g. eating plaster = calcium deficiency, age old problem, safe to Google), or falls under "so what" category (and being stressed out so much over it counts as bad parenting). We have four kids, teen to newborn, sometimes it's difficult, sometimes it's really difficult - last pregnancy wasn't the best case scenario previous ones were, but I gave my wife all possible help and we got through. In the end, at least to us, positives cancel out negatives and then some. Again, if it's not your choice, good for you and let's leave it at that.
Becca not Becky 4 months ago
A lot of the these are grossly exaggerated, extremely rare, or not exclusive to pregnancy. #17 for example (the severe constipation) is just describing a really bad bowel blockage, and can happen to anyone for a number of reasons. If you don't want to have kids, that's fine, but man this post is nuts.
Ellinor 4 months ago
I think that even if lists like that can scare or disgust people, they are important. Pregnancies are what they are and trying to hide the bad sides to encourage people to have children is a bad thing.
PrettyJoyBird 4 months ago
Whose trying to hide the bad sides? Conversations are important yes. This crazy list is not for informative purposes. Some of her reasons are outrageous. I think she stockpiled a list she googled. For clickbait. I didnt read it bc it was horrid but im guessing shes never been pregnant to term had a birth or raised a child.
Load More Replies... Flopsy 4 months ago
What a bunch of 🐂 💩! Some of them are true but some are just dumb: vomiting your poop? Bruising from inside?
Tyranamar Seuss 4 months ago
Yeah, no one vomits their poop. There was at least one other one on here the was totally medically ridiculous but I can't remember it.
Load More Replies... pug nose curly tail 4 months ago
Oh geez. If you want kids, have kids. If you don't, don't. I've have 4 children- all worth it. But that's just me.
Rose the Cook 4 months ago
Many of the possible complications listed are extremely rare so should not be an excuse. If you don't want children that is your right, no horror stories required.
Curry on... 4 months ago (edited)
People can decide for themselves without being drowned in tons of information for or against. For the record, I had two kids. No problems with my pregnancies. Big healthy babies, relatively 'easy' deliveries. A little problem with teeth afterward. Nothing else. I like kids and I'm glad I had my own.
rorschach-penguin 4 months ago
People should be drowned in the facts rather than be permitted to swim in a sea of ignorance. The problem is that these aren't the facts.
Load More Replies... Nicole 4 months ago
Got to number 12 on the list before I nope’d right outta there, goodbye. 👋🏻
Kitty Jordan 4 months ago (edited)
The "Say goodbye to your bladder function"... yes, it happens, and it's not rare, but it's not inevitable either. I don't have any bladder problems after giving birth via c-section, and for those who do, you can look into pelvic floor therapy, which should be standard care after any birth. Also, my baby started sleeping through the night at 4 months and still does other than when she's sick or something. So the whole "YOU'LL NEVER SLEEP NORMALLY EVER AGAIN" is a bit of hyperbole (again, not for everybody, but).
nana theater 4 months ago
I don't want to reproduce and I want people to respect that as well as I respect others that want to have children. Why is it necessary to spread fear, disgust and hate?
PrettyJoyBird 4 months ago
We respect you and whatever decision is best for you.
Load More Replies... María Hermida 4 months ago
What an idiotic article! While all the problems mentioned can actually happen, it is obvious being pregnant is in general not as deadly as Ms Ross claims, or else our species would have disappeared a million years ago. Many of the situations mentioned were caused by abismal medical care, sheer imbecility or the greedy American health system. Having children (or not) is a difficult decision every woman should take freely, but this "collection" of half truths, exaggerations and "one case in ten million pregnancies" is just ridiculous!
Hannah Clack 4 months ago
People can make their own decisions, nothing wrong with that. But this list is literally taking things to the extreme, at times to the point of exaggeration. I really hope no one in the peak of heightened hormone state due to pregnancy reads it because it's prob going to cause an unnecessary panic attack.
Nitka Tsar 4 months ago (edited)
Interesting and even funny list, but not very representative, is it? Most of these are very rare accurences, too many are US healthcare stupidity, some are bad parenting. Sure, they all “can” happen aparently, but most of them won’t. I doubt that even 30% are common. And I am sceptical about the “vagina falling out”. Maybe I am confused, but I learnt it’s the Uterus, that can fall out, not the vagina. No joke here, it really can happen. I had a scare about that after my third pregnancy.
Tamra 4 months ago
There are so many things in this post that never actually happen to most women. I worked in an obstetrics office for a decade and I can assure you, this woman is fear-mongering. She wants views.
Load More Replies... TC 4 months ago
What makes me a bit angry about this is quite a bit of this stuff is only a possibility, especially where child birth is concerned. Women have enough fear literally poured into them in an over medicalised system that supports them being patients and pregnancy being viewed as an illness. If you don’t want kids fine, but don’t go around trying to influence others with sensationalist reasons. It simply adds to the fear culture and completely disempowers women who are becoming victims to childbirth. There goes the species! Yes, you are forever changed, but I wouldn’t and a lot of others wouldn’t take it back for what they have. This simply adds to the narrative of medicalised birth and trauma. Women need to be empowered to make whatever choice they deem necessary without influence from any side. It’s called being informed! Do your research ladies 🌹
Debbie 4 months ago
They should have added the change y of these things occurring & the rain for them occurring. The items about damaging your eyes when pushing to hard; that is why there are birth classes to help you push down and not just push like build up pressure/blow your nose. The stomach muscles separating, uterus dropping - that's is why there is a recovery period, your muscles and organs have to go back to their original place. Doing to intensive stuff after childbirth is dangerous (so working two days after childbirth is very very unhealthy). Bladder control: there are excersize that can help (and "kegels"). My obgyn said: 9 months pregnant and 9 months recovery. So maternity leave is very much needed, before to preparednd rest, and after to recover.
V 4 months ago
I don't know why people don't want to be educated on the risks of childbirth, even if they are rare. Isn't it better to plan for the worst and hope the best. Yes, the likelihood of hemorrhaging during childbirth is low, but shouldn't you have a plan in place in case something like that happens? Each thing on the list only has like a 1-7% chance of happening, but there's a lot of things with a 1-7% chance of going pear shaped.
Load More Replies... Dorothea Stovall 4 months ago
Most of these are complete BS. You could also be hit by a bus crossing the street - or eaten by a shark. As the mother of three, I'd prefer the absolute joy and pride of my children (who are grown) than to read about the negative only remotely possible stuff listed here.
Kerikat 4 months ago
Based on what I (àlmost wasted 25 minutes) read..this wingnut eggplant squirrel Brain has NO business breeding. Sorry. Not sorry and bowl full of nope. I respect the decision to not have babies...i myself however have grown twin boys that i never expeienced MOST of what was writtem. Ok the poopy art thing Xavier kicked my brain with ...lol. i alsi had my kids a bit lder ...like 31. Now they're grown and I have 2 fur babies. Whi have their own poop issues.
H Daven 4 months ago
This is over 100 reasons not to and *NOT A LOT* of this is common. Don't try to scare people. I had a terrible pregnancy and I wouldn't exclude anyone from trying if that's what they want. My pregnancy was terrible for the sole reason of constant vomiting. Yes, an issue, but one of hundreds and not near enough for me to reconsider my pregnancy. Reposting same thread as OG bc I am OG
Upstaged75 4 months ago
I have a friend who has twins. When they were around 2 years old he thought they were napping one day and they took off their poopy diapers and painted their entire room with sh!t. He kept throwing up while he cleaned it. That was the best birth control ever for me! No thank you.
Shelli Aderman 4 months ago
WHO ALLOWED THIS IDIOT TO POST ON BP? 🙄🤦♀️ JEZUS! 99.999% of this is BS!
Alina Mihai 4 months ago
People saying that these things are really rare are uninformed morons. I work with medical files, a lot of them maternity files. These things are the norm rather than the exception. People need to know this. Stop trying to gaslight them
Tamra 4 months ago
No. This is just another Tik-Tokker using hyperbole and misinformation in order to get web traffic. Some things are true, a few things aren't unusual, but the rest is wildly exaggerated.
Load More Replies... PrettyJoyBird 4 months ago (edited)
Came here for the article title/#61 SAY WHAT NOW???? Milk out my where???? i should note i am a mom of 2! This article was horrid. I would tell this "influencer" umm your mom had you. Have some grace and compassion will ya. Let the record show i did not read this!
Cat Houston 4 months ago
It's true, these things should be talked about. I applaud her for enlightening women to the reality of it. Childbirth is still a leading cause of death too. About 287,000 women died during and following pregnancy and childbirth in 2020.
Ronald Robin 4 months ago
Damn. All of these sound terrible but I guess it's worth it for bringing another human life into existence.
María Hermida 4 months ago
When men can get pregnant and give birth, you'll earn the right to say if it's worth or not. In the meantime, I guess you can't decide. Not your body, not your choice.
Load More Replies... Graham Berry 3 months ago
Ugh. Okay, most of the medical falls in the exception category rather than the rule. And the last part of the list says more about the parents than the kids. And yeah don't have kids if you are not ready to be an adult let alone a parent. Having kids is a choice for most people so yeah choose wisely.
M Calad 4 months ago
Pregnancy and parenthood have risks, some more common, some well known and some more rare or unknown. Good to present all the risks for those who are considering pregnancy. HOWEVER, this post is very misleading and a few of the reasons presented are not even true. Most of the content is a collection of worst case scenarios being presented without context or/and probability. Some of the reasons presented are extremely rare and would only occur under very particular conditions. Please, do not misinform people. Thank you.
MonsterMum 4 months ago
What a load of c**p, five births, no s**t on myself and I can still cough and sneeze without leaking.
Gozer LeGozerian 4 months ago
The same people down voting this are the same people that will complain and whine that "no one told me about this" after they've popped out their crusty kid and it turns out it isn't like on TV and in movies
Ms.GB 4 months ago
Why don't they go over things like this is sex education because I'm guessing it would make a huge dent in teen pregnancy. Having a baby is so romanticized, maybe some cold hard reality is what people need.
PrettyJoyBird 4 months ago
I think sex education is important. This would have to be a whole sept class within health scope in schools. Is having a baby romanticized? Ive never thought that. Respect anyone who knows or decides they dont want to be a parent. Not right if someone made you feel shameful for that.
Load More Replies... Dave Kennon’s Retirement Revolution 4 months ago
Kids are the best thing that ever happened to me. It breaks my heart to read this.
PrettyJoyBird 4 months ago
Dave are you a man? While u might have been privy to the pregnancy and childbirth did you actually experience it firsthand or your partner? Being a parent raising the children after should be completly different conversation not lumping someones opinions in with the 9mths and labor delivery that comes before. Connected sure but not same. This list was ridiculous. Some are true sure but not all facts. This is a person who googled and made a video for views. Conversations are important. If one chooses not to have kids that is fine too. They need to make whatever decisions best for them. Everyone else can talk to their doctor read informative educational books on topic do own research.
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