I'm from the Netherlands and work in daycare. TBH I'm shocked by this info. Here we need a special education and a background check to be able to work in daycare. And we play and cuddle with all the kids, so strange that it's not allowed in the US.

Some of this is complete bullshit. No longer allowed to do background checks? In many US states it's required by law to file the background checks with an overseeing authority.

it's easy to say you won't send your kids to a daycare. before the 70's most woman was at home and it wasn't a question, but now most of the 2 parents has to work and don't really have a choice. it's not everyone who can stay at home.

This is very situational. I have three friends who worked in daycares. One said hers was awful, but the other two said theirs was quite good; they even recommended them when I was searching for a daycare. The daycare we went with is also fantastic and my daughter loves it. She naps on her own schedule, gets fed on her own schedule, they fill out a "report card" every day telling me what activities they did with her and her mood, and everyone undergoes background checks. The moral seems to be don't send your kid to a bad daycare center, or, alternatively, "be rich enough that you can afford to stay at home with your kid and if you can't afford to, then you're a bad parent".

When I visited a daycare for my daughter in Italy one of the ladies there was constantly holding this 'koala baby' (her words) because he needed the extra attention. Went on to have my daughter in several daycares in Italy, UK and France and they were all extraordinary. What this lady says is not the norm.

I have to disagree about the rule about tickling. Tickling can be a form of abuse. It was used that way in my house. I would never let anyone tickle my daughter.

agree with some of this stuff All centers require a background check at least on crime do you know how much trouble they'd be in if they hired a sex offender? Of course children eat and nap at the same time do you know how hectic life would be for children and workers if everyone ate different and slept at different times? The place would be dimmed and quiet at all times I do agree they don't all follow the laws of kids to adult ratios and even then they are too high I was with 12 - 2 year olds by myself which is the law but when it's 14 pure insanity I also can't stand how they call it school or workers teachers generally the highest age is 5 they are the only ones who might be learning and not much I think it's just to make parents feel more comfortable with their money and time One thing that bothered me was most the parents who get the care for free through government programs are more likely to complain or make demands

People forget that at least in the U.S. we have in home daycare and facility daycare and not all daycares are licensed. So there's a range and yes there are some horrors but my kid's daycare was amazing with excellent meals, programs, and affectionate amazing staff and it wasn't even very fancy or as expensive compared to some larger facilities. Yes they had a nap schedule but even if the kid couldn't nap there were other quiet options. Loved that place which was absolutely necessary for me as a returning college student.

My mother was a childcare provider, and I witness several incidents of aggression and physical violence towards the children in her care. She was forced to resign after I reported her to the police and social services…no charges were brought as I only had evidence for one incident, and that parent (my sister) would not press charges. When the parents were around, she was like an angel, all bubbly and friendly and sweet to the children…it was like a switch flipping. Even now, I don’t think any of the parents believe she did anything to their kids. There are some good childminders out there, but having watched my mother and also seen some of the behaviour of her fellow childminders that she socialised with, I just would never use a childminder.

I watched my friends kids a lot, but there were times I would refuse (I loved the kids like they were my own, but also watching two babies 10 plus hours a day without getting paid for it got annoying) and whenever they came back from stints in day care they'd have *horrible* diaper rash, like to the point of bleeding That being said, it's a huge privilege to be able to just stay home.

Tickling IS abuse.

I worked at centers and licensed home daycares for years. The stories I have. Once the fire drill went off and I followed the protocol I'd been taught at the last place...I was reprimanded and told we would all die if there was a fire because the fire doors were illegally blocked. I worked in a place where a litterbox that never got changed was in the child's bathroom. There was cat pee and feces everywhere. I started my own home daycare. I bought a bigger house with the intention of being licensed and saw no benefit. I have an open door policy at all hours of operation, every room in my house is open to my clients. I am privileged to be able to cook very healthy meals for the kids. I also hug, tickle, kiss, rock, etc., am affectionate while respecting their boundaries and bodily autonomy. I hope this women made it clear this was the daycare she worked at - not all of them.

I currently work at a daycare and we are always over staffed, we do love on our kids (even encouraged to do so!) And my kids have attended the same center since they were both infants, we love it here. It's not all daycare centers, I promise there are good ones out there. We are even NAEYC accredited, which is almost unheard of, only center to be acredited in my tri-state area.

speaking as a pre-school child -- when I was three I was taken to see the local school, The Infants Mistress,?) picked me up and held me in a tight busty embrace. I am still very very proud of my three year old self, because I "kicked her in the stomach" and she put me down. it is exceptionally rude to try to cuddle kids unless they ask for it -- and then be sure you do it in the open with disinterested witnesses.

We needed daycare, but we didn't put our kids in an industrial daycare system. We made an arrangement with a mother that took care of her two kids, plus 4 more all in her own home. We worked with her to come to an agreement as to what level of care we wanted, what food to prepare, what sort of activities, when to give naps & how often, etc. She was quite willing to adapt to our children's needs (within reason). Way better than dealing with a larger business.

I didn’t have a choice. Daycare was going to be my full minimum wage job- I would owe more than I was able to make. Working daycare was the ONLY way to bring home a paycheck- because by working there for the same minimum wage, they allowed me to send my son half price. So I got half a paycheck at the very least. Good ole $120 a week or so.

in Italy there are private kindergartens and municipal kindergartens .. I sent both my children to municipal kindergartens, the educators must have adequate training (diploma and qualification for education) and even the menu must be approved by the region, at the kindergarten they have preschool activities (starting up writing and reading for example) ... I was lucky because I have always found attentive and affectionate teachers but here it is more difficult to find similar problems because the kindergarten teachers are comparable to school teachers .. I recommend bring the children to kindergarten not only for work necessity but because the children who attended nursery and kindergarten have a considerable learned autonomy (my son learned to walk first to the nursery, to eat alone while watching other children, the teachers also helped me to make both babies independent of the diaper)

Oh America...

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Being overly affectionate is a form of grooming. There are ways to touch kids and comfort them without a full-frontal hugs. Babies are an exception. If people are being told all touch is considered too close to abuse, that's incorrect. But not allowing certain forms of physical touch, like kids older than toddlers sitting in adult laps, is a good thing.

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This is why my hubby and I hired a private nanny to come to our residence. Kids aren't forced into someone elses schedule, they're not exposed to all those germs, they get to sleep in later than if i took them to a daycare, the nanny takes them on field trips and bakes with them. If you can afford a daycare you most likely can afford a nanny